Shubham

mine too

12-2-16-> I woke up at 7:00... So late from usual... Tomorrow I will sure wake up on time... gone for motion and then brushed as usual... What the fuck????? I had decided to start my studies from 8:00 and its already 8:45... Ohhh!! I cried inside then moved on... As you know the average mind changes alot!!! I ate the morning east Indian food of chapattis and vegies... It was tasty wow.. Suddenly I thought...............today I didn't ran for 15 minutes and not even meditated.... I will do in the evening.. I said okay lets get back to work!! so I just went to study physics electricity... Start was good... But after about 1/2 hours I felt UNENERGETIC.... I mean who gets no energy in the morning..... i remembered the saying.... Focus is energy and i knew i was not focused....my mind was hovering over this forum... I thought of any notifications or reputations.. Or personal message...and here i am writing this stuff... What kind of insane are you?? i mean what the fuck Shubham????? What are you doing here, again? get back to work i say(conscious part) wait man!! Wait for 5 minutes(unconscious part) internal dialogue going on.... I will come back let me see the whatsaap group made by Indian forum friends... wow.. Seems exciting... let me download whatsaap first... Then i will.... I didn't fapp today.. Awesome!!!! I controlled myself today... This will be a boost... tomorrow.. I will sure make the most organized journal... Of my life... tomorrow my routine will be:- 6:00 -> wake up then freshen up and run for 15 min. And meditate for 20 minutes... And some skipping and pushup and pull UPS... 8:00-> chemistry inorganic.... 1:00-> maths coordinate 6:00-> gmp package ? Chenm organic and Phy heat and all and mechnics

Leo, exactly what should be my purpose to be on the forum? I seem lost... And what are those reputations for .. Do I need to care about that? ... what topics should I qoute my opinion on? thanks for help.

thanks leo

india

that made me worry a little.. Cuz.. Since I am a self actualizing junkie too and at some point of my life .. I would be attracted to my mate... But what if she is not even in a bit of actualization... And she is just an anti to me which probably will slow down my journey... Even a bit... Which I don't want... so it will be so difficult to find my mate... Cuz marriage is something that I believe is beyond any relationship except a relationship with oneself... spouse is like subconscious partner...in a healthy relationship.. So if I don't get a common grounds how will that kind of relationship be made...? Sarah do you think you are in a health relationship? Will it not rott with time.? I am not negative here but seriously? In a relation like marriage... with respect.....

I agree with what you say leo

first thing he is scared shitless bro... He may be conservative may be... He doesn't like his world view bubble popped... So he got angry on you for trying to persuade him.... he should be more open to new stuffs... I mean what king of youth this is.. If you are not willing to explore... I would have told him to read more and more and clear his doubts as much as he could through out his entire life... And keep exploring... And discuss more ... and learn to loose control...!!! Just observe

what kind of harm do we get ? @nima

11-2-16:- woke up at 6:30. Fapped unconsciously... Omg my habbit so irritating.... I wont do it from now on I said... Like I always do... Then ran for 15 minutes, broke sweat and meditated for 21 minutes.. Just practiced being I present... my mom had to go hospital so I was given charge of empty house... . then I started to study physics, electricity cool!! I love it ?.. Awesomeness!!! I will rock the exams I said!! Full of determination wow this energy i love it... Let me get back to work!! Be back soon what the fuck? I am still hovering on this forum... I should be doing my work... Why am I here for so long... I feel like leo has created this low conscious thing... But why would he do that... No ways!! He will not revolt his purpose... I want to do my work ? bye Shubham!!!!

8-2-16-> morning was better but afternoon... My ego doesn't want to remember omg!! So difficult... I probably was out of energy and couldn't decide what to do so I wasted my 4 hours straight just watching tv and gossiping and finding a way to escape reality.... When I came in consciousness I was so irritated by myself I cannot do what I think I will do... I said... Then started with mathematics coordinate geometry... So tough I thought but still I continued with it... With slow pace.. Then a question came that made me loose hope for a short while and I went to mom for some gossip then I regained the strength.. And again went to solve that question... I solved itt. !! Wow I am amazing I thought... But I also thought why was I not able to do it at that time... Why...?? Why I did a calculation mistake and didn't bothered to cross check...?? Why the fuck is it like that.... I have just one Month for my exams and I know somehow I can complete the syllabus and also doo some sample papers... But what happens to me when I am one the battle ground... (i.e. When i am solving questions) this is always on top of my mind...

I believe I am citizen of the world.... Patriotism is according to me old school Spartans type... Like protecting my country... My people.... I believe in being free as a bird..

acquiring peak potential of human brain and at the same time using that to get successful.. Isn't this quite a logical thing to ask for... Man you are philosophizing this whole content... I believe you can yourself see the connection between them... I just want to take them parallely... What's so much unrealistic In that... I believe through your negative" what ifs" you want to da that what if you know the reality.... just hint me on the connection...between them... I know its real.... THANK YOU for discussion.. I appreciate that..

8-6-16:-today I woke up at 6 and ready to rule the day jumped up from bed and put on my sneakers and ran for 5 minutes... And I forgot before that I fapped(habbit I want to replace) . Then I ate a healthy meal... .. I am a student and now I have to study which I love.. (But I can't get marks.. As I wish.. Teachers tell me nonheroic methods to get marks and it violates my inner belifs ... I need to know how to mend that.... Please help?) I studied chemistry inorganic.. So hefty!!!

I feel that too... Bro.. I am too an engineering student.. I am too going through same stuffs... And.... 1. Being vulnerable is awesome for growth 2. Certainty Is cause of resistance and confusion 3. Being confused is one of the step to get the truth my one of the goal in life is to connect everything cuz I believe that everything is interconnected to everything else.... Just carry on bro