witpo44

@Davino Thank you for this!!

Wow! That makes total sense to me. Now I need to forget about it or I’ll drive myself nuts

Wow, this was the right place to ask this! Thank you guys! I had no idea about microcosmic orbit. I was also really wondering if this was my throat chakra opening. I haven't found references to these sensations with regard to the throat chakra but its very possible. (I remembered later that I had the vision that my throat was a vast tunnel). I'll add that for the last couple of years after doing a psilocybin retreat I have been yawning (in a purging way - deep and repetitive) nonstop so I definitely think energy is moving. Thanks for your help!

Hey all. Wasn't sure of the best place to put this topic. I did a smallish dose of psilocybin (1.5 grams) today to work on something specific. I ended up going very deep into a higher state that I've never experienced. I was laying on my back. I started feeling lots of sensations around my face and head. Spontaneously my tongue lifted up and curled back on its own and I felt the sensation of my throat opening/expanding and had the sensation that something was going to come through or out of my throat. It was as though something increased the diameter of my throat to maybe 3 times its size. I can hardly remember the visuals because it was wild but I remember seeing a pinpoint or tiny tiny circle (that seemed significant) at the center of the image in my mind's eye. I tried to stay with it but the sensations were so startling that it started to dissolve. I wish I could remember more details. I definitely perceived beings watching me. I really want to know what that was. Thanks for your help!

This was another burning question. I'm going to stop torturing myself now with "why." "all you need to do is be the light, the example, the embodiment of the worthwhile life" - Great advice. This is what I envision.

I can't fathom a "click." That space feels so far away.

🤯

YES!

I totally get this. My 180 on being open to spirituality gave them whiplash and they really freaked out when I started meditating. It scared them. I'm figuring out how to keep it personal.

Very interesting! You make it seem so simple.

Thank you for this! Adding it now.

I think I understand what you mean. In some of my "mystical" experiences from deep meditation I feel panic or fear or anticipation and then I feel like my ego takes over and tries to fill in the blanks or distract me with my own expectations. Part of me wants to learn more so I can disrupt my thinking patterns but then I have to overcome the expectations. It feels like an impossibly narrow gap to enter. Thank you for all of your thoughts.

I’ve been on this journey without any guidance and I would really love some guidance from anyone who has the time and inclination to read this. I’m a newbie to this forum and to the concept of awakening. After being an atheist/agnostic my whole adult life I spontaneously suspected I was missing something huge. I considered the possibility that I’m deluding myself. Maybe I’ve deluded myself to find comfort in the way that I assumed Christians/“believers” were deluding themselves to find comfort. My world has been rocked. This wasn’t an epiphany but just a suspicion. My skeptical brain needed “proof.” In the 4 years since that first suspicion I’ve had glimpses through psychedelics and meditation and I feel completely scattered with all of it. I’m INCOMPLETE. I feel like I might lose my mind if I don’t break the illusion. My intellect has decided there is an illusion to break. I’ve heard Leo say “turn the dial” but I just don’t know how. I tried Bufo this past summer but can’t remember anything from the trip except complete euphoria and a feeling that I experienced something profound. Without any huge breakthrough moments I feel love towards EVERYONE. I find myself mentally sending peace and love (essentially praying) to strangers around me. All of my constant worries about my children and their futures has subsided. I have a level of peace regarding worldly things. But, internally, I’m constantly searching for the “knowing” and “certainty.” I understand that no one can offer me the magic pill for this. Here are the questions? If we are God, why would God fall asleep to itself? Isn’t God complete without need for revolution? I’m a 45 year old mom of 2 young teen boys. Sometimes I think having these answers will make me a better human, and in turn, a better mother. But I also wonder if I’m opening Pandora’s Box. I don’t know how my mothering or my relationship with my kids will be affected by this journey. I don’t feel grounded right now and my kids rely on ME to feel grounded. For those on the other side, would you hesitate on this journey in any way if you were mothering kids who still really need you? Thanks for your advice and insights. (Be honest, but gentle).