MVPJOURNEY

Thanks for the reply. I'll think about swimming laps. I haven't done much swimming since childhood so might be fun as well. Haha.

Hello, I have had some realizations over the last year or so about the illusory nature of my thoughts. It's quite clear they are not me although I'm sure I'm still self-deceived in many ways even if I've dissolved many conceptual frameworks and beliefs over the last year after that heavy realization (During an LSD trip while watching Leo's video on meditation to realize you are god - then subsequent solo MDMA trips to uncover past traumas and missing pieces of my egos life puzzle). I've been feeling lately that life is quite pointless and I reviewed some older forum posts on the subject and a few people suggested the key may be in feelings. So I'm wondering if feelings have the same quality as thoughts in the sense they are illusory in a similar way? I guess I'm asking because I've not really focused much on feelings during the last 7 years or so of this spiritual journey and intuitively i sensed this may be something that requires some time invested, but I just wanted to understand why those people were saying that before I put a big focus into this. Lately I also feel like I have a lot of energy built up within me, I gym 4 times a week and do yoga and runs a couple of times a week + eat what i believe most people would consider very healthy in alignment with that exercise routine but this doesn't seem to be going away and if i don't exercise it gets very intense and i struggle to sleep or sit still, it's led to a lot of tenseness within my body and a very tight jaw. So I'm wondering if this also may have something to do with unreleased feelings? (It was quite a lot of semi-intense realizations I had getting to see the previously shut away parts of my life story during the MDMA trips, past traumas, blocked out difficult parts of my life etc, so that may be playing a part also) Any thoughts on this would be appreciated as It's getting difficult working through different possibilities whilst having the overload of energy. Cheers!