About 8 months ago, early on a Sunday morning, I took 20-30ug LSD.
Once I felt it kick in, I went out for a walk in my town, I was walking down an empty street I've walked down hundreds of times when I felt the sudden urge to pray, which was a first for me (I'm not and have never been a religious person). I had "prayed" before, but never authentically. Just some superficial level lip service because I had some talks with Mormons in the past out of curiosity. (Turns out they're complete fools yet very lovable, just as I had expected)
This time however, was the first time I truly prayed. I was in a public space so I didn't go on my knees and put my hands together or anything, nor did I speak or even verbalize anything in my head except for a simple 'please'. That 'please' stemmed from a deep longing to really see through the materialist paradigm which I believed in most my life, and despite having a paradigm shift about 10 years ago which undermined my unquestioned belief in the material paradigm, I still hadn't fully deconstructed it, and neither have I replaced it, so for about 10 years I've been searching for that thing, while still feeling a slight gravitational pull towards the materialistic paradigm. So almost as a last resort, I silently pleaded, to anything that could be listening, just give me a sign. PLEASE.
And just like that, something happened that I wouldn't be able to believe unless I experienced it for myself, even though I've tripped on shrooms 20 times before, 5 of which were heroic doses, and done 20+ LSD trips, ranging from 15-200ug.
I completely stopped moving, even though I was very clearly still walking. Technically each step I took it appeared visually as if I had moved one step forward, but after something like 400-500 steps I was still in the exact spot where I was when this phenomenon began. During this period, I was simply in awe, with a hint of disbelief of what I am very clearly perceiving to be happening, and a subtle worry that my 'sober-self' will eventually brush this experience off as some hallucination caused by a psychedelic, a false memory or even a dream. But I just kept walking and taking in the experience as deeply I could.
It was so ordinary yet extraordinary at the same time, everything was just as it always was, the street wasn't stretched out, the walls weren't moving, the trees weren't "breathing", no fractals, no auditory hallucinations, no nothing, everything was completely ordinary, except for the fact that the space-time continuum I had lived in my entire life had seemingly just...broke? Vanished? Stopped? Morphed? I don't know what to label it, since I quite obviously didn't have a clue what it was in the first place, or if it has always been just a hallucination.
All I knew at that point is that nothing I had experienced could have prepared me for this, and I would never forget it, and I would never doubt the realness of what I had just experienced, I no longer worried that I would just brush this off as a dream, and just as I stopped worrying, everything went back to normal, except for the fact that my life would never be the same, not really.
