oldhandle

Thanks, I appreciate this response. What kind of certification are you thinking I should look into? To be clear, I am not really interested in working in treatment centers and being an employee at a place like that, nor being a psychologist.

I've eliminated both of those bro, four years for me for alcohol and I used to be a black out drunk. I actually just made a full thread about how I finished Leo's course and now I want to create a community helping others with those addictions. If you want to chat, let me know.

He posts these same 4 videos for any situation?

I need to get over a particular girl in my social group. I was having sex with her and we were moving toward dating, and then she told me that if I were to become her serious boyfriend, I would need to convert to her religion - she is Muslim and I am not, and I have no interest in converting, so it's essentially a deal breaker. She has kept our sexual relationship quiet among all our mutual friends, of which we have many, and so have I - they all think we are just friends, but the truth is we've been together sexually at least 15 times. I'm still so attracted to her whenever I see her at get togethers with my friends and I know she is to me too. I do not want to stop being friends with all our friends, but I also do not want to keep the interest in one another alive by continuing a sexual relationship that can never go anywhere. I want to successfully be "strictly friends". The thing is, the idea of her being with other guys still gets me jealous. I know she hung out with another guy from our group for a while and I felt strong jealousy, despite the fact that we're both single and aren't actually dating one another. I really want to stay friends with her as she's a good person I really care about, but I honestly would have surely wanted to date her if it weren't for this religious incompatibility. I know it's difficult, but I know there must be a way for me to move on, be truly just friends with her without me having to stop associating with her or our friend group. To truly just be friends with her and stop my emotions of still wanting her or being jealous if I imagine her with another guy. I'm looking for advice on how to do so. Thank you.

I have no shortage of chances for women, I don't have oneitis, but there's one I really liked and I fucked up my situation with her by being too honest. She is my neighbor, and I hung out with her 3 times before she went home for the summer. 3 times is not a lot, and we never committed to it being a boyfriend/girlfriend thing at all. However, we did hook up (think sexual things that aren't full on penetrative sex) and kiss quite a lot before she left for the summer. Since we never defined anything, I ended up hooking up with two other girls that summer. Nothing serious, I didn't want to be with either of them, and they didn't want to be with me. But I felt guilty because the girl this topic is about and I kept texting through the summer, and eventually I admitted it to her. She was a bit hurt, but honestly not a lot, and we kept texting and talking every day. She even was sending me lewd stuff unprovoked. I was eagerly awaiting when she returned because I fully expected us to start dating and for it to turn into a real thing with her, which I wanted. We hung out one time when she returned, we did hook up (again not full sex, but hooked up)... and then she texted me that she feels she can't trust me. Suddenly she was mad about the other girls despite not ever making a big deal about it before and being somewhat, at the time, happy that I had admitted it to her. I told her she should at least tell me to my face, then we met face to face, and she essentially said what she said through text face to face, full on broke up with me and said no chance, in a cold way. I was pretty sad. But, I left her alone for about a month, no contact. Then I see she's looking at my whatsapp stories, and I decide to just say hi. She was responsive, but no real conversation really. I didn't push it at all, but gradually we talked a bit more and more, leading up to tonight where she suggested coming over to talk for 30 minutes. I said no because I honestly was busy, but then she said "I'm sorry for how things went between us, I just wanted to be honest with the situation". This recent interaction makes me feel there's soooome chance still. Admittedly, probably a low chance. But I'm wondering how I could play it to potentially get her to see me as someone she could date again, even if it takes playing a long game. I'm pretty much taking a break from sex anyway at the moment so I don't mind if it takes a while to reignite interest, I'm just wondering what I should do to potentially get her to see me again in that light she saw me in before. I know she thinks I violated her trust, despite the fact we were not a couple at that time that I engaged in sex with others, but I'm wondering if there's any way I can play it to potentially get her back. Thanks for reading and for any advice.

Thanks, but there was a lot of jargon in that article, and I don't think really that the article said to be friends and slowly regain trust. It was about talking about sexuality with her. I think that would absolutely chase her away if I start bringing up sex in a "casual" context with her.

I don't understand...

Is that a real suggestion?

I really can't see through that as genuine or not, but i'll stop trying haha

I'm having trouble understanding if you're trolling him for not posting content and being active on the forum instead or if he really does have a lot of new youtube content coming.

Is he done making videos? Been a while since an upload and he's usually active on this forum.

...right? If I take a true look at myself, I honestly think I have too much that is not organized right in my life to be thinking about dating. I haven't even been able to get through Leo's Life Purpose course yet. So, what do you think, should one date while everything is still not put together, or wait?

How's it going for you thus far?

Are you saying this pro or against porn? I can't really understand your wording.

They recommend going 90 days without sexuality so that you can reboot your brain, and not as easily fall back into sexual compulsion. It makes sense from a dopamine perspective. However, I am tired of failing, if I have a one night stand before I get to 90 days, great, I didn't jerk off or use porn, but I typically end up faltering and doing that a few days after as the "chaser effect" ends up happening and I crave sexuality. So now I've started dating a girl, and I don't want to wait 90 days to have sex with her, I mean, she just got me off an hour ago at my house (not sex but use your imagination how she did it). My thinking though, is if I actually DATE a girl, I can get rid of porn/nofap this way - my approach was wrong before because I would have one night stands, and then, when the sex wasnt available again, I'd falter and use porn/fap. But if I actually date someone, consistently, which I know, weirdly, is a kind of new concept for me, then I think I can put this type of sexuality that I don't want to do anymore (porn and one player sex) away for good. I am asking here specifically because it's not a nofap/quitting porn forum, so I'm sure people will criticize the nofap ideas, but I want multiple perspectives. Thanks!

Ok, well, even just a week at a time. Not for me. Not necessary to master my sex life.

You mean relative to porn?

Thanks, but I don't need to jerk off every day to "master my sex life".

Wtf happened, how could he have said that and now not believe it. Actually I'm stunned.

It's definitely, absolutely a backward step to have realized how bad porn is and then go nah, actually, jack off all the time, fuck up your dopamine receptors, why not

I can wrap my head around a random consumer in society, a non spiritual person thinking porn is no big deal and isn't damaging. It's still a bit difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that some people who think alcohol, weed, video games, internet addiction, social media are all bad, who have studied many spiritual traditions, who have an understanding of dopamine and brain science... I'm still kinda unsure how some people out there that fit this description still don't recognize porn is really terrible.

People who say porn is not damaging are going to look like the people who said cigarettes aren't damaging - eventually the evidence will become so undeniable and there will be so many cases of extreme damage due to porn (like the video I linked above that you ignored) that only absolutely hopelessly addicted in-denial people will still say porn is not damaging.

I'd say this is relevant too: https://www.manual.co/health-centre/erectile-dysfunction/porn-induced "The truth is that higher numbers of young men seem to be experiencing erectile dysfunction – with around one in four new ED patients now under 40 years old. To begin with, one 2011 Italian study of 28,000 participants looked at the role of porn use on male attitudes to sex. It found evidence that high porn consumption can cause low libido in young men – and, ultimately, an inability to get an erection. Similarly, a review with clinical reports investigating the neuroscience behind the link between sexual dysfunction and pornography considered a range of medical theories into the phenomenon of PIED. It speculated on pornography’s impact on dopamine levels – and suggested that pornography’s hyper-stimulating quality triggers incredibly high levels of dopamine. In this way, it becomes addictive, but also makes real sexual experiences feel a little underwhelming. Finally, one sensational 2014 study found a possible link between the number of hours of porn watched and a reduced quantity of grey matter in the sections of the brain associated with sexual stimulation."

I'm not saying everyone who watches porn will end up like this, but let's be real, without internet porn, this person could not have been possible:

So now you jack off to porn and feel better?