Tariq

Hey, I used to have the same problem as you and I learned the hard way. You must realize that many of the people you meet are not necessarily deserving of your loyalty and you do not owe anybody anything. If you're being loyal towards people it's because you have internalized a covert contract, this contract states that you should invest your time and energy into other people and in exchange they will appreciate you and want to do the same for you. Unfortunately the world doesn't work this way, most people are in fact driven by their narcissism and will have no problem running a train over you as long a sit serves their agenda, their brains will do the most impressive gymnastics to minimize any negative self-perception and your well being will NOT be taken into account. So my advice for you is to never go full in into any relationship, never invest too much into anyone unless they consistently show you that they really deserve it, and when you do people big favors, you should either not care about the outcome at all or formalize what you want back (especially in more professional settings). Also realize that the more you invest into people the more attached to them you become, the human brain works like that. I know it's difficult to do this, especially since it's the right thing to do morally speaking but you have to take into account the world in which you live. Maybe read stories about cheaters and how they justify their actions, it will open your eyes. And this one too, always keep it in mind: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog Good luck

What worked for me was gradually decreasing the intensity of the material: 1- download a couple of videos (no more than 3) to your computer and watch those only for the next month, choose wisely. 2-Start meditating if you haven't already 3- After te first month goes by, meditate and after you finish go look for one new video to download and a bunch of pics (no more than 10 pics) 4-those will be you material for the next month 5-If you make it this far then virtually all your porn-related problems will have vanished, you can then choose either to stay where you are or aim to get rid of it completely If you find yourself failing then you might want to add some transitory steps in between, just don't overdo it. 6-You'll get a lot of extra energy so find some activity that will be an outlet for it, It helps if it's more physical

Well, ask yourself: Why do you like gyming so much (I really don't know if you mean gaming or going to the gym but either way..) Do you like it because it sort of fills a hole in your heart, so you don't have to face existence and all the boredom and pain that comes with it? Or do you like it because it makes you feel one with the universe? How would you describe your consciousness levels before and after doing it? Does it involve One-upmanship over the world or some manifestations of it? Do you think you were manipulated into liking that thing? as in overly dramatized effects that made your lower self aroused (no pun) Would you still want to do that thing if you were completely satisfied with your life? Be extremely frank with yourself when answering these questions and follow them wherever they take you, If you do you'll find out.

What's your take on friendship guys? Do you view it as beneficial or do you think it brings more harm than good ( i.e by making you rely on friends to help you do stuff or you raising expectations about them...) Do you think being a lone wolf becomes necessary at some point of one's developpement?

Yes! I have the privilege of knowing some people who genuinly care about me and my well-being and I do love them too. Some of them are into this self-actualization work and most of the time when we need to take some big action that's very far out of our confort zone we do them together (like Socializing with strangers or meditating for long periods of time). The simple fact of having that kind of support gives one an extra push to stick to his plans, but isn't that some kind of cheating ? Because you're not gaining as much discipline as you would if you did it by yourself

Before reading: This was written with no previous planning so don't expect the flow of ideas to be very organized. I am well aware that this is philosophizing and you should do the real deep work not just think about stuff lik.. Don't bother. This thread is meant to be a discussion. _______________________________________________________________________ So we all know the ego has a huge influence over what we subconsciously desire and what we want to pursue to a point of neurosis and restlessness. By definition, an enlightened person realised the futility of his ego which just vanished as result in the same way that a mirage disappears when you get to it. For an ordinary person dreaming is where his ego goes about all of it's frustrations and bonds with the subconscious to create the most amazing yet illogical of stories in a way that's so amazingly creative yet soo... ungrounded (do you notice how your dreams don't care about neither space nor time or any other structure?) From this we get numerous insights into our psyche and what really troubles us, could all of those insights be ultimately meaningless? Back to the Enlightened person, he is aware of how all of the concepts we create or think are true are no more truer than any of our dreams (after all both seem logical when we are experiencing them). Simply put, nothing really bothers him and he's not trying to do anything because everything gets done without m trying to force it or anything. Now, what the hell could this person be dreaming ?! His ego is "dead" So all what it might do stops completly. He has no frustrations so what kind of meaningful insights could he be getting from the higher part of him if it is the sender and receptor at the same time ? I have my own ideas about this but a discussion always helps.

It's not very wise to wear boots before putting on socks. In the same way, it's not a great decision to sit down in a lotus position for hours every day when you're living a midst a bunch of neurotic people, can't secure food or shelter for yourself and people are constantly yelling at you to go to the mosquee and be a part of their gossiping, lying and fighting between relatives.. That seemed very negative. It's not that bad, I still enjoy my life very much and do alot of things that cannect me to the present moment (playing music, walks in nature...). So for now I'm acquiring skills and independance, maybe after that I'll comback to chuckle at how many times I wrote the letter "I" in here without meaning to

It just struck me that not all dreams have a deficiency-based motivator.It makes sense now, cool ! Maybe, right now I'm trying to focus more on Maslow's view of self-actualization, It's more practical and focusing on enlightenement at this stage of my life might be disastrous as I don't have any personnal needs secured yet My views might seem very shallow in nature for you but that's fine, there are always bigger fish on the sea and I'm still growing..

I'm pretty sure that the islamic ideology doesn't correspond with that. According to the quran, a human being is completely different from god himself, he was made from clay and that clay was itself made from nothing, not some part of god. did I miss anything ?

What is your workout routine like ?

Today, whilst waiting for the bus I noticed a couple sitting on a bench across the street. There was nothing unusual about them so I didn't really pay attention to them, I was just gazing everywhere like I usually do.. But, and just by chance , I noticed the guy who was atleast 5 years older than me (I'm 17) punch the girl while totally keeping it cool like nothing happened. She remained seated and tried to mask her cying, at that moment he started getting closer to her and acting like he's conforting her. I had a really strong urge to step in but, at the time it seemed ... too inapropriate, too unecessary and too risky... So i did nothing Now I feel ashamed, because I know probably react the same way if this happened again. What would you do in my situation ?

I know no more details about the situation than what I have already wrote, and that was the problem. The couple (assuming they are) were strangers for me, I have no idea what their situation is like nor why did he do what he did... The lack of details is what made the right thing to do so unclear and my question is what do I do in lack of the necessary compenents to make a judgement, do I just walk away ?