Francis777

I think Leo addressed this point in one of his videos, in that there is no "system" or mechanism behind reality. The creation of reality is purely the imagination of its appearance. As in 1 plus 1 doesn't make 2. 2 is just imagined exactly as it is unto itself, because god has the ability to do that. The analogy he used I think was that there are no molecules or atoms that make up reality, the creation of reality is completely as you see it now, without a function needed to get to that point.

god was trying to burn out of cage it was locked in

the mind is also more susceptible to fear when tired, increased probability of paranoia, don't worry about it. From what you've explained nothing seems to be "going wrong".

Well then, I think that narrows it down, If your fine when well rested then its just the lack of energy from not sleeping. Think about if you haven't slept all night then try to go about your day, it can be hard to even stand up for long periods of time as your body is so heavy and achy, your body doesn't utilise oxygen as efficiently and everything, Sleep is such a pinnacle factor in just normal day top day functioning, if you try to trip when your in that state, when all your body wants to do is crash out and go offline, there's going to be a massive internal conflict. Also, typical stimulants like coffee, weed and modafinil work on the dopamine receptors, which is the survival circuit so it makes sense that they give you a genuine boost in energy. Psychedelics primarily work on the serotonin receptors so they are not going to flood your system with transmitters that are action oriented and therefore wont give you a "rush" like stimulants do. But your going to to be 10x more awake than if you just had a coffee. Can you see the problem? And yes I just meant psychologically draining, but that of course can also translate into physical fatigue as your brain is more likely to release cortisol which is the stress hormone when your mentally drained, which is taxing on the body. I believe they're called disruptors, they inhibit proper function. haha all this to say, get your Zzz's in if you wanna trip.

Yes. Best story games ever.

interesting, I haven't done dmt for a while as it scares the shit out of me. So it was like a materialised form of infinite love (as oppose to a metaphysical abstraction), expressing its capacity to love itself in an infinite number of artistic ways?

could it be a carpet burn maybe? I know its very small maybe your body contorted in strange ways while you were unconscious

would you mind divulging? I'm interested to hear the new flavours of consciousness you say you've experienced.

hahaha good one

lol I had a funny reply for this but I think I'll save it cuz I'm on thin ice.

understood.

The only way your missing out on life is if you deliberately and consciously spend it not doing what you really want to do. Only you can decide if your living up to that.

Tricking people probably isn't the best way to go about asking advice from them. People would've read your post regardless.

could be, good take. I suppose all the ego's desires are just gods desires but corrupted by limitation.

Yes, I’ve been moving away for a while now, from the idea that the absolute desire of the ego is survival. It doesn’t make sense because without a reason to survive, you simply wouldn’t. You need a WHY if you want continue surviving, survival itself is not a reason, it’s just a medium you maintain so that can go on exploring. In my opinion @Razard86 I agree with all 4 points you made, however I don’t believe they are the defining motivation and desire of the ego. What you’ve stated actually reinforces my perspective on this, try and notice this, how everything that you wrote actually ties up with what i think it is: I think the singular primordial desire of the ego is to know itself.. BUT! It cannot ever truly know itself until death. So it avoids it and tries to find work arounds and loopholes so that it can satiate that desire. And what is the conclusion that it comes to? “If I can’t definitively prove and figure out who I am, then I’ll just create an identity!” This is the ultimate solution for the ego, if I can’t prove what I am (and it can’t of course until death) then I will just decide for myself what I am! At which point it goes through all of the dysfunctional ways you described trying to figure out who it wants to be. It then settles on something and is satisfied with it, feels comfortable and good with it, then does everything in its power to solidify and cement that so that it can keep that sensation of that primordial desire fulfilled. - Notice how it always circles back to this desire. And what is a way that it can cement this identity outside of itself (outside of itself because just one person agreeing with this identity is too fragile and sure to be questioned, better to have thousands so it holds more weight) and keep that desire fulfilled? This: By creating a legacy! And how do you then make everyone go along with your legacy cementing it further, and diving ever so deeper in to the comfortability of having that desire for-filled?…(again you reinforce this: …With power! The ultimate security of this identity is to secure it with force! Anyone that says otherwise you can just banish. This is why the ego has been infatuated with power since it’s inception! This is why the ego strives for control, control in itself is not an incentive. It’s all so the ego can scratch the itch of not knowing who it is because it’s too scared to die and discover the truth. Everything else is secondary. This is my take on it at least, you can see how they match up.

You’ve got to investigate what kind of emotions came up when he bullied you and ask whether or not the trauma was there before and he just brought it to light, or whether he affirmed a new unworthy reality for you and you accepted it. Figure out which it was and then you can work on undoing/releasing it.

@Dodo yes, agree to disagree

YOUR NOT FOOLING ANYONE WITH YOUR PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE GASLIGHTING, GIVE IT UP YOU FOOL. It’s so obvious that you’ve got the mindset of a 14 year old that thinks he’s some sort of mastermind, that’s twice now that you’ve mentioned “winning” as if it matters. Listen good here buddy, in future if your going to be passive aggressive and patronise people on the sly in your replies with the expectation that it’s going to go over their heads because your so fucking clever.. DONT! Dont act surprised and take the moral high ground when they pick up on it get pissed off and reply with that same energy! Infant.

Your entire reply was ego! I know I was being egoic, it was intentional! My point was that you were on your high horse calling people out for the exact thing that you were doing but were too ignorant to be aware that you were doing it you buffoon! Nothing worse than people who call people out while simultaneously doing the exact same thing, it's so obvious, get a grip man. Trying to play the masterful sensei, if anyone's cringe its you!

ah that's nothing, your probably just not used to them, keep tripping. Thinking back to it, I had trouble with my balance the first time I tripped

yes, same point

your living proof of this you donkey Not knowing does not imply that you can't have a meta understanding of god

There is an "I" Its just not an "I" that can be a specific distinction. That's what god is, that is the true "I" Any "I" that can be specifically distinct is just the true "I" falling for its own illusion of separation.

how many trips have you had?

Leo how do you deal with the selfishness of all the people around you, these last few years of my life I have become increasingly aware of exactly how selfish people around me are, specifically people that I deem to be decent/good in the scheme of things. This has been the hardest part, that even the "good" people are still incredibly selfish. It's making me despise people and I get so fucking angry and resentful of them, I keep it to myself 90% of the time though because I know that they don't have the slightest fucking bit of awareness about it. But that isn't an excuse that I can just go along with because I also know that they aren't aware of it because they don't give a shit! They are not aware because they make zero effort to be aware of it. They just go around bullshitting people so that they don't have to look at themselves. Any "effort" that they do make is not actually to be selfless but to disguise their selfishness and gaslight people so that they don't get called out on it. How do you integrate this? It makes me wonder why I even make any effort myself. They are getting what they want, living exactly how they please because they are selfish. While I am suffering to be good to people because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't. And let me reiterate, I don't think these are bad people!! Its becoming evident to me that nearly every human on the planet is just so unbelievably selfish, regardless of if you compare them to each other! Yes this is a rant, I needed to vent. I just want some perspective that isn't "oh you need to be more accepting and appreciative". Even if it is true, it just isn't working for me at the minute. Why should I suffer while your living comfortably soley because your ignorant.