TheGod

I used to think that people who have had sex with more than 5 people are very immature and can't be trusted in relationships.

I think you are right my friends. It's just I've been chasing God for 4 years and been neglecting other domains of my life. Now when I realized how actually serious and real God thing is I want to be able to make it a priority in the future. For now I want to work on basics of survival. I need financial independence and I haven't fucked for a long time. It's just funny to have profound god awakenings and next day do the job that I don't like or think about girls I can't attract due to my lack of dating skills. I'm just 26 and I still have plenty of time.

I was born in a relatively poor family in a small town (in Ukraine). As a kid I would spend a lot of time with my grandparents and their animals (cows, ducks, etc.) and I also didn't have money. Nevertheless, I was so much happier then now. Now I do have money and I can buy things for myself. I moved to a better country, but I don't feel as happy and free as I used to. I think the problem is all the identities that I've constructed. Why was I happier milking a cow in a small village rather than living in a developed city of Canada?

It's a good question actually. Even if I decide not to take psychedelics anymore it won't change shit. I'm God, I've always been and will be it. Whatever I decide to do is my will and I trust my Self.

You have no idea what I'm talking about. I can bet you've never done 5MeO in your entire life. I broke the illusion and was in infinity for eternity. Do yourself a favor, do 5MeO until you realize what I'm saying.

Of course it will. Once I'm 40 I'm going to leave everything and just do psychedelics and meditations on a regular basis. It's inevitable. For now I need to concentrate on my finances, dating, etc.

Precisely.

Weed made me paranoid, anxious, depressed and negative. I'm glad that I finally quit it.

I force myself to do this last hit. I pull my 5MeO-DMT for a few seconds (I've been vaping it slowly for a few hours). I'm dead. I'm still seeing shapes and colours but I can't distinguish them from myself. I look at my hands and even though I see "hands" I'm conscious that I'm looking at nothing. I'm not feeling any boundaries whatsoever. I'm ghost. I'm trying to grasp where are my boundaries and I realise that I don't have any. I'm aware that all this time I've been constructing life from scratch. I've been doing it intentionally. I understand why I was doing it. My desire to awaken was part of the dream. I only imagined that I wasn't awake. I'm always awake. Nothing is happening. All that happens is nothing. I'm in heaven. I've always been in heaven. Now that I'm awake there is nothing else to do. All doing looses its meaning. Meditation, eating, sleeping, talking, walking, working, reading, etc - has zero importance. This is the end. Everything is equally perfect always. Raping and torturing people as good and as perfect as saving animals for example. All of my biases are gone. I'm pure formless magic. I really really get why I'm dreaming life. I want to go back, but I'm afraid that it's too late because i'm too conscious for time and for self-deception. I start panicking. I'm down on my knees with my eyes closed. I'm terrified by possibility of loosing my ability to imagine life. From the bottom of my being I desire to incarnate again. I remembered how I came into existence in the first place. I made a conscious decision to incarnate. I'm back to life. Thanks God that I'm God.

Bro I once did 5 grams of Enigma mushrooms and I was stuck in God mode for 5 hours. It was so intense I was damn sure that I would never get back to normal life. The worst trip I ever had. Ever since I don't fuck around with mushrooms, especially Enigma. This illusion is perfect. It's a wonderful game full of drama, problems, cruelty and basic human pleasures.

I'm imagining you imagining having or not having problems I wonder what kind of body I would construct for you

It's occuring right now my imaginary friend

Now that's you're enlightened how is it possible that you do survival? Like even being in this forum is survival on its own. Do you dream when you sleep?

See my problem I don't think we are talking about the same states of consciousness. I don't think any sort of contemplation would reveal levels of consciousness that I reached on 5MeO-DMT. I was in a state of infinity where I was so conscious it almost felt like madness. Feelings of infinite expansion were driving me nuts. I stopped imagining objects, all I was seeing was just me. At the same time I was conscious that I was absolute and complete nothing. This feeling of nothingness was soo overwhelming I thought I would never be able to construct the dream again.

It's such a hard truth. I've noticed people are not socializing in the way I used to as a kid. I didn't have a phone or a pc and i was more joyful. I remember summer evenings where I would run around in underwear with my dog. Smell of grass and heat of the sun. Freedom and Joy. I used to climb trees and jump around abandoned buildings. Good times. Also I didn't care about sex at all. Now I constantly want to fuck. Thoughts about sex and women dominate my daily life.

I'm scared as fuck actually. I had very crazy experiences on 5MeO-DMT where I was literally suffocated by infinite love. The idea of me being in that state 24/7 scares the shit out of me. But maybe you're not talking about these crazy states? Do you still feel your body? Are you able to sleep?

How did you reach this state of consciousness? is it consistent?

1. You could've fucked her but you didn't. If you had fucked things would've been different. But don't blame yourself and try to move on. Talk to other girls. I find it to be very useful when trying to forget your ex. You don't have to fuck them, just talk to them and friend zone them. Women do that a lot to get emotional support from guys, so you can do it as well. 2. You have to realise that you're idealising this girl. It doesn't matter how perfect or good-looking she is. You're overestimating her value in your life. 3. You need to be more initiative with women. If you have a chance to fuck them just do it. You can't imagine how many chances I missed when I was younger and stupid. I was a mr. Nice Guy :D. Nice guys are friends for women I'll tell you a story. I was 19 studying in college. There was this girl I was really obsessed about. I was trying to be nice and supportive with her all the time, thinking that at some point she would recognise how nice I was. She knew I liked her but we never talked about it. One day she calls me in the middle of the night. She says "Vlad, please come to my place, we need to talk!". I was so happy to hear that and I thought "There we go! Tonight is the night!" It's 11 pm, I jump off my bed and in a rush I'm brushing my teeth whilst dressing up. I'm calling the taxi excited as fuck. After 10 minutes I'm in the car even more excited. "Oh yeah boy, we're going to be together" - i'm thinking to myself. I'm at her place, she opens the door and hugs me. She's not looking happy and says that we need to go and talk on the balcony. We go there and I take a sit. Then she says - "Listen, you know you're important to me?". I node. Then she continues: "Can I tell you something, can you be trusted". "Of course" - I answer smiling. "You know" - she says, "there is this guy that I kissed the other day, I feel like I'm in love with him..." Man, never in my life had I struggled that much with keeping my smile as the moment when she told me that.

I vividly remember this feeling of freedom that I had in childhood. I was of course dependent on my parents and their will, but I was free mentally. My biggest fear is to realise that all this time I've been constructing things designed to make me unhappy, thinking that I was pursuing joy. My grandparents were not well educated people and spend their entire life planting vegetables and growing cows. I used to think they were having a miserable life, but what if my life is way more miserable.

Yes, all of my identities are taking most of my time or even all of it. On the other hand I feel so attached to them and I don't feel like letting them go, I also understand that that's the only thing that prevents me from becoming what I really am. At some point of my life I would have to give up on all of my identities. Life is indeed suffering. Even the idea of finding a life purpose is delusional. I'm God and I don't need a life purpose, the only purpose that I have is to be.

The main thing that pisses me off is the weather. It's driving me nuts. I should probably move to Chile. On the other hand, psychedelics are very accessible in Canada

Nobody will love you unless you love yourself first. Second, you overestimate value of women in your life because you lack experience. Lastly, there are plenty of abusive, narcissistic and manipulative women out there. Your job is to recognize them and to move on.

I can't believe she's got so many subscribers. She thinks like a kid.

Ukraine

2 weeks ago I did 1.5 grams of shrooms with my friend and it was an amazing trip. Yesterday I did 1.5 grams of the same shrooms from the same bag and had a bad trip. How is it possible and why?