TheGod

God feels like 2 at the same time

I think Leo should fly to Canada to do some malt with me in the mountains

It's different for different people. I am sure that 5MeO-DMT changes your brain chemistry but so far the changes have been good. Although, Ego doesn't seem to like them.

Thank you! I will contact you once I find legit 5Meo-MALT in canada

I created you creating a video about 5MeO-MALT, so I will create someone making a vape in the same way. No rush And yes, I can be lazy and I guess I am very lazy, but if I wanted to be a different way - I would've created myself differently.

Actually, when I was really in a bad moood running would always help. Advice her to run, it’s not weight lifting and there is some good science behind running being helpful to deal with depression or negative mood.

Yeah you are correct. I am just misleading people here, psychedelics never do anything and it just drugs. I’m glad you have it figured out without even trying, keep going you are getting closer to the truth!

I am too pussy to do it. What if I fuck it up ? Also finding crystals of legit 5MeO-Malt isn’t easy task compered to 5Meo-DMT I’ll wait until I create someone who can do it for me

You can start doing exercises at home. No biggy. Start with some push-ups, some squats, abs etc. You need to force yourself in the beginning. Try it with some good rock music or whatever music you like.

Go to the gym every other day and exercise for 30-40 minutes + good nutrition & 5meo-dmt once a week.

I hope so!

Thank you! Thanks God in Canada it's legal here. Although, I can't find 5MeO-MALT vape I think vaping 5MeO soo much better beacuse you are able to be very gentle with yourself and even if you vape too much it wears off faster.

Thank you for reading! No rush, as long as you have a desire for it the time will come

I’ve had ego death experiences multiple times but only on psychedelics and it’s always love and infinity but when I am back in my ego it’s just feels like infinite loneliness rather than love.

Ego death is inevitable anyways.

On the other hand, why should we face it or what is going to happen if we won't face it? We live in the world with thousands of all possible distractions, why bother with loneliness issue if you can distract yourself all the way down the road of life and once it's done, you're done. You are back into infinite love.

That's what I have been doign for the last 4 weeks, but I can't just sit more than one hour and doing nothing, at least not at the moment.

Very well said.

This is one of my biggest fears but I know I need to evercome it and I don't actually know what if I can fully enjoy it.

I think I want the fulness of God that sometimes is reveled to me on psychedelics. When I'm sitting in an empty room and doing nothing I feel like nothing. Like cold and empty nothingness without the infinite love component. This emptiness doesn't feel like satisfaction.

Stillness bring about fear to disappear

It took me 25 years to realize it. I don't think I would have realized it had I not tried 5MeO-DMT. Ultimately this connection seeking is a covered-up need for God & Oneness. The self wants to merge with itself. Society on the other hand feeds this idea of incompleteness from childhood. Also songs, movies, books, social media, almost everything is related to it in one way or another.

There is another reason beyond this - delusional assumption that women will fulfill you with love or will give you meaning in life. Society plays out this idea very well.

Around 3 weeks ago I decided to go on complete detox. I blocked my bios. I saved the password on my phone and I would keep my phone in the lock box I had bought as well. I started feeling weird the very first day which during next few days would become stronger and I also started feeling cold loneliness. Two weeks after I was on my day off and I decided to go for a walk to the bridge near the place I used to live. When I just set not to far from the bridge, I felt a tremendous fear and anxiety. It was feeling like my entire body was disappearing. I got spooked off and I went to the cannabis store for a vape. I vaped 2 days straight and I started jerking off on porn again. Weed & porn calmed me down a lot. I was able to go to the same place near the river and to meditate there sitting for 20 minutes so weed and porn are obviously my coppes. Then I decided to actually smoke weed once a week and watch porn once every 5 days (I’ve failed to it but it’s okay, I can do it I know). I also started to meditate 2 times a day 20-30 minutes each session. 4 days into meditation and no tv, netflix or any entertainment and no porn and things started coming up. I began to feel the emotions I had been avoiding all this time. It was literally overwhelming. On top of that I realized how shallow human life is (or rather the dark side of it) when I saw my rich boss and his unhappy wife (although they are rich and have 3 kids). I noticed their unhappiness and started to wonder why are they unhappy. It ultimately led to realize that we humans are doomed with unhappiness, thinking if we reach this or that we will become happy. It turned out not to be the case. But also, I think I concentrated too much only on that part which is ultimately isn’t real. Canada post has been postponing my 5MeO-DMT vape and I need it asap. This molecule will help me to go through this period of pain realization, otherwise it’s too difficult. I was crying this morning because I felt so fed up with living during my morning meditation and I also cried on the bus on the way to work and in the evening after doing EMDR. When I was doing it, I got to the point where there was just too much pain. I had had been traumatized so many times in the past and I was denying it. I had experienced neglect, abandonment, humiliation and I was ashamed by and laughed at dozens of times for years. Basically, all my doings are designed to ran away from that feeling by all means: making friends, watching movies, picking up girls, gym, watching porn, pursuing career and thinking. All of the these are designed to keep me away from that feeling of loneliness. And what I realize is that if I hadn’t developed those copping strategies (although dysfunctional) I would’ve been dead already. The image of my perfect gf was designed to give me hope to find my second half to make me feel full and alive and loving. I think a lot of people are trying to ran away or cope with pain (emotional or physical), fear and feeling of loneliness. I went very deep this time and I probably shouldn’t have because I had some thoughts about what is the easiest and painless way to do it or how many people committed suicide on Thanksgiving (turned out not as many people do it in October I asked AI lol). I am going to take it easy, be gentle with myself, loving, accepting and forgiving, there is no rush. I also need to focus on holistic understanding rather than just one side of polarities of life. What about humor, laughs, nature, cute animals and of course big breasted women? I am love at the end of the day (I remember).

Thank you for a good pointer into being. I tried concentrating on it today during meditation, very helpful. I don't boil myself in the past pain and suffering. Once I discover what I had been denying or not seeing I relive it, contemplate it and transcend it. I'm not one of those people who go around and always complain about what they suffered in the past and what people did to them constantly. This post is me telling someone these things for the very first time in my life. So liberating.