TheGod

Exactly ahaha

I'm mostly concerned about getting addicted to it. I just recently got rid off my weed addiction so it's wise to wait for a few years.

In the park at night In the park during the day when people were walkign around On the balcony across the bus stop on the main floor and ppl were watching In the basement of an abandoned house On the table where she had lunch with her husband day earlier In their bed In the tub at her mom's place

Thank you guys for the feedback. I guess I will stick to 5MeO after all. Too many risks with MDMA.

Nothing can be compared to God. Career, life purpose, friends, success, etc. are good things only in very deliberate moderation. Recently, I was able to deconstruct the illusionary source of fulfilment and happiness – relationship and women. You see, most of my life I never had that much success with women and only a few long-term relationships. When, I moved to Canada 5 years ago from Eastern-Europe I started doing some approaches but never had any luck, moreover, I felt like I just couldn’t connect with most of the women there due to significant cultural differences. Anyways, I clearly remember years back when I was doing 5MeO-DMT I would always come back from breakthroughs thinking that I need to go back and work on my dating life because it was perceived as very important. I remember one day in November 2023, I had another breakthrough experience and as a background I had this regret that I was awake but I lost my opportunity to meet new women. So, I made a plan. I realized that I need to move to Spain, because I wanted to know if I was the problem or maybe the women in Canada were not my cup of tea and neither was I theirs. I moved to Spain in July and since I had learned the language, I was able to start building my social life from scratch right away. Including the game. I was happy to learn that I had been right about Canada in terms of women, because I was able to connect with women here in a very authentic, warm, and playful way. Same me but different results. So just as a side note, guys, some of you who never lived outside of your country you will be very surprised how different women are geographically. Don’t underestimate the significance of culture and society. Women are way more influenced by it because of their nature and survival needs. But I was also wrong about the other thing: thinking that sex and women will bring fulfilment. I did meet some beautiful women here; I had some sex and I went on more dates in 1 month then in 5 years in Canada. Do I feel more fulfilled? Of course not. Do I feel happier? Not really. This was rather a painful realization because I spent years working out this plan and eventually the juice isn’t worse the squeeze. I’m not blaming women for not living up to my expectations of fulfilment because I had unrealistic expectations and I am talking all responsibility for it. Women are not here to satisfy me, it’s a delusion that I had, neither they are capable of doing so. It was a very bitter pill to swallow provided that I spent so much time and effort to get there. On the other hand, I am happy I did it because otherwise I would be still living in the delusion. It was the last hope for happiness and it was deconstructed. Now, I can go back to waking up to my God’s nature and work my ass off spiritually. I’m very happy I learned the lesson, even though, it was painful.

Yes, you are correct there are similarities for sure.

You probably didn't have enough sex to compare its value with money. You won't die if you don't have sex but if you don't have money to buy food you will be dead quickly.

My level of consciousness is growing every day. I haven’t don’t any psychedelics almost for a year. My hopes that I can somehow go back to my previous life have been diminished after multiple attempts and failure. The last hope that I had was moving to a new country, I was expecting that changing continents would get me back in the dream. Actully, since I quit my job and started off from zero in a new country I had significantly decreased my identities. Therefore, my mind became still actually. This stillness grows and it seems that it brings peace. But when I meditate with my eyes open and concentrate on the fact that I am conscious of my own consciousness and being, it brings about fear. The more I sit and the more I’m trying to accept the fear the more it grows. Today, I went to Catedral de Santa María la Real de la Almudena in Madrid. As I was sitting there and meditating my fear became so strong. It feels like my head is about to explode literally. How to overcome this fear ?

First explain to me what is color red provided I´m blind

Who said that it's separate from reality?

Yes, you are correct. I am awakening but I haven´t awoken yet.

As I told you language just makes everything worse. You have your ideas about specific words and concepts and their interpretations. What I meant by saying I am the center of the universe is I am it´s creator because it´s coming from me, I am the source. And when I am talking about myself I don´t mean that ego is the creator of the universe. Once more, the languge is useless-

I did 5MeO-DMT probably 50 times or even more. Most of the trips can't be shared because they are not from this paradigm. Languge is useless. Most of my trips I would wake up to my ultimate nature as god as center of the universe and its creator. Anyways, I won't try to explain it because it's not exactly what I am saying.

Health situation has nothing to do with the things I'm talking about. I'm not seeing demons, white lights or visions of Jesus christ. I'm talking about being aware of being aware, nothing more. I become more and more aware that I am aware.

Let's go to a good horror movie and I won't have to use any single though or a word.

I had to google this guy because I never heard about him I like it, must be so loving

Oh yeah, me too

I'll try it too

I am very positive that I will eventually reach a no-return point. Because my state of consciousness grows without me doing anything. Ever since I did 5MeO-DMT I crossed the line.

I'll try it today in the church

Yes, that's what I have been doing so far but it's all in vain. And to be honest by this time I just want to wake up

The feeling I am talking about isn't a thought

That's a great idea, I'll try it more. I've been doing it because life actually sucks and I'm tired of living like a worm, so i am trying to convince myself to wake up

It´s not a thought, it is a feeling that I feel. Who has the fear is obviously ego it´s afraid of no-return When I was doing psychedelics I always knew I was going to return but when you're about to have the experience sober, it's not the same thing

I am afraid of 2 things having a psychotic episode or disappearing