Chadders

@HMD best technique is simply keep it out of sight. Same principle that applies to having cookies in a jar at home. It’s just easier to not have cookies there so you do not have to resist the temptation Leave your phone at home and go for a walk/bike ride

@Yimpa yep I mean more recent additions

@Leo Gura This may have already been asked but will you be adding all your recent episodes to podcast player? I use Apple Podcasts

What do people think about starting a family? I find many are just not in touch with the deeper purpose behind it We’re actually talking about something that is an inherent part of the evolution of the human species. It’s not ‘traditional’ in that dismissive attitude some people have but it’s baked into the fabric of the human species. Family units were a core part of tribal societies it’s not just some conservative mid-century option. We are hardwired to procreate and care for our children unless very dysfunctional Also I would say that what makes a boy a man and a girl a woman is when they are ready to start a family - this is irrespective of whether they actually do or not, the point is they are mature enough to do it properly if they were to. It’s a good test of your own maturity. Do you truly believe you are mature and strong enough to be a grounded, loving and stable father figure or a compassionate, loving and nurturing mother? A big problem is that many people are not mature enough to be parents. This is so obvious with people who can’t fully take on board the responsibility in being a parent I’ve seen posts where people will dismiss the family option and go their own way with travel or whatever. That’s fine but it’s this dismissal and the conception that it is a traditional option that bugs me. Starting a family is a beautiful thing. It’s not a lifestyle but a core part of us it’s just that maturity is the key to it

@Unlimited That’s hard I’d be very hurt by those comments You can’t change their minds on the matter so I would just try as best you can to let it go. They are where they are. You’ve got your life and they’ve got there’s. You’re not responsible for them especially being the child in the dynamic. The onus is on them But try not to judge them for it. I don’t know the dynamics but they have done their best for you I would hope If it helps to break free of the dynamic do it and don’t feel guilty about it. If you feel that it is holding you back in some way take a break from them. Focus on your life and developing yourself and then when you’re less emotional about it go back to them

I would say both on maturity. Hopefully someone would naturally mature with age anyway but you need to be at a base line level of maturity. To be stable psychologically, emotionally and financially is very important. In terms of commitment that’s where you have to want it like with anything in life. You’re not going to be committed to something you never wanted As for staying committed to it your child is your own flesh and blood. You brought them into this world and as a parent you have got their back no matter what. That perspective does require maturity and letting go of your own ego and selfishness Just to add to the maturity thing it is ideal that you are with someone committed to the child as well. It’s very important to have a good father and mother figure. The child can learn from both masculine and feminine energies. If it’s a single parent then the child potentially misses experiencing another universal energy. Boys with single mums as parents have to make up for the lack of masculine energy and vice versa for girls with single dads as parents looking after them. Having both is ultimately the best but leaning to masculine or feminine whether you are a boy or a girl Obvs we can talk all day about how identity is relative but for practically getting by in the world and not being dysfunctional kids need certainly and understanding around their sexual identity. Polarity is a healthy thing but that’s another debate!

You have a lot of self reflection here which is a positive thing and is a sign of being a good parent but as you say you may not quite have all the qualities to be as good a parent as you feel you can be. Very mature response. I’ve only recently at 31 felt that I could be a decent parent - that revelation came through psychedelics full disclosure You are totally right with the quote above. Expecting your child to turn out a certain way is selfish. It’s projecting what you want on the child rather than allowing them to explore what they really want out of life

@eos_nyxia That’s true. Capitalism has rotted society from the inside out because most business marketing practises leach off the ignorant (easy to please) such as children. Social media is atrocious for this. Parents have a job to protect their kids from the utter garbage fed to their children on a daily basis from these addictive mobile games, junk food, social media, mass entertainment etc It’s a war on our attention and our children are the biggest victims

You don’t understand what I mean by that Yes it’s a big deal to start a family

@Basman Only recently I’ve been struck by the divine around starting a family. Has never really been on my mind as something I would Purposefully want to do but after a divine communication on mushrooms it basically told me that I’m ready to start a family now It does make sense because I’ve been working on myself a lot over the last few years and have radically changed as a man in many respects. So for me it’s more that starting a family feels now very purposeful to me. I can see the deep meaning and value behind. I can’t force it to happen it’s up to the universe but I feel more intentional about that

@NewKidOnTheBlock If this is your thinking this should immediately tell you that you are not mature enough to start a family

@Nemra Yes your level of maturity will determine whether you know you are ready to start a family or not regardless of whether you actually do I once knew someone who wanted to have a baby but for all the wrong reasons. She thought that it would make her happy and I could tell that she was seeking some kind of external validation from it. So glad she never did have a baby she was very immature for her age - she’s 41 now

@Schizophonia Starting a family is a serious thing. It’s not something to be taken casually. It’s a huge responsibility but one that is incredibly rewarding

@Sugarcoat I don’t think there is so much expectation now. Not in the west anyway. Liberal values have changed that. As a man I certainly don’t feel any expectation to start a family I’ve just reached a stage in my life where I feel ready to. Where there is expectation it’s definitely coming from lower developmental stages. Starting a family should be for the right reasons not because others expect you to do it so I agree that’s a problem and does exaggerate global population levels and also levels of dysfunction in society This is where it is the conflation with family and spiral dynamics stage blue that bothers me as it’s not dependent on a stage of development. It’s a very beautiful thing at the higher stages - at a higher level it is about conscious evolution. Loving and nurturing your children so that they will leave the world in a better state than what your generation did. It’s a process of undoing the inherited trauma we all live with going back to the dawn of human civilisation. See your children grow and develop into a conscious human being is probably one of the most rewarding things you can possibly do in life - again when it is done from a higher place Make no mistake there is actually a deep spiritual purpose. A divine purpose in having children and starting a family. I know this for sure because I’ve had profound insights on this

@Sugarcoat There’s definitely a stigma to some extent. In the west the stigma is mostly on women who are childless but I don’t feel the same way as a man in the west. In other parts of the world it’s different. Starting a family requires a lot of maturity. It is a divine purpose. It is part of human evolution so ‘starting a family’ shouldn’t be conflated with conservative traditional values. It’s hardwired

@Sugarcoat That’s not the point I’m making. Population size is another issue all together If only the people that were mature enough to start a family did so you can be sure the global population would radically decline

@Rishabh R that’s great. ACT is a good tool for helping to detach and allow emotions to wash over you rather than getting caught up in them When it comes to emotions my deep insight on this with LSD was that you’ll feel whatever the universe wants you to feel. It’s not in your control. If the universe wants you to feel pain you’ll feel pain. Take the onus away from yourself because you can’t control it. It’s like acceptance. Actually acceptance is not in your control. If you accept it the universe has decided you will accept it because if we try to accept something it doesn’t work. It’s this realisation that helps because it takes away the onus on you to try and fix yourself. You’re perfect as you are. The universe wants you to feel this for whatever reason you just can’t connect the dots yet. That’s a true acceptance when you know it’s entirely out of your control The values stuff in ACT is good as well in then pivoting to what matters most and getting on with the business of living All the best yoof

Actually I’d also add that in my experience the introverted lifestyle is too easy. I am too comfortable here. The real challenge is in the extroverted space which entails putting yourself out there. Putting your neck on the line by having accountability and facing judgment, expectation, exposure etc. being at complete ease with that. To be calm in chaos As I reflect on my time in solitude part of me feels it is an escape from the abundance of life. Life is for living. You might as well be dead otherwise Edit: just to flesh out the point I don’t see the point in hibernating away in a cave meditating. There’s so much life to be experienced. To serve the community, impact people romantically and emotionally, start a family, hone a craft or skill. Life is just so abundant and no guru has experienced all that Maybe I just don’t understand because I am not awakened enough but I will say I am a strongly on the introverted scale by default and have through my own insights and perspectives changes on psychedelics seen the limitations here. I have felt that the universe wants me to live life

@Shodburrito I read through your challenge to Leo. Some valid points there and Leo needs to be challenged. It’s healthy because he has an ego like we all do I would say that the introverted contemplative lifestyle is more sustainable and you’ll burn out with socialising. But that’s not the point for me. The point is deeper human connection where you feel that person very deeply. Nothing needs to be said. Deep human connection does not require shallow socialising Also there’s a lot of need out there. You’re not serving society by sitting in a cave. I do not want to do this. I feel a deep desire to help society and be of service to the community. I do not want to lock myself away. The world has enough problems so start being part of the solution. An introverted lifestyle does not serve the community. The community is the social space and there’s a lot of need out there

@Wilhelm44 There will be karma to pay for sure. Mindless demagoguery of Trump and his ass kissing minions like Vance will run its course. Hopefully the damage is not too irredeemable for America To be honest I couldn’t believe what I was watching with how Trump and Vance bullied Zelensky live on air. The immaturity and the sense of entitlement. The lack of human compassion and professionalism. Unfucking believable. Zelensky is a guest. Treat him with respect. They are our brothers and sisters out there sacrificing their lives for the heart and soul of their country The war can’t go on forever but the way it should be handled is not this way

@How to be wise I didn’t know about that. He is within the celeb culture of spiritual people like Sadhguru so that is something to be aware of Yeh Russell Brand is a wanker I’m not sure what they were discussing so I can’t say for sure but it does raise an eyebrow from me

I would explain this from Ken Wilber’s perspective of growing up alongside waking up. They may have had some awakening but they have not developed the perspectival element in growing up to see the impact of trumpism on the wider society and the narcissism/immaturity at its heart I’ve never heard of any of them anyway. They do not seem to be the real deal. True spiritually connected people I would say are people like Leo, Eckhart Tolle, Ken Wilber, David Deida. Stick with them As for Sadhguru he has connection to the divine I would imagine but I just don’t rate him like I would the above people. He’s too celeb

You could try boxing as an outlet for anger

If it’s the guy I am thinking of on here he was weird. Take it as a learning lesson to not engage with people like that In terms of playing a ‘game’ with women I would drop the entire notion of gaming women. It’s toxic and it’s not what women really want. This is a judgment from me, but I would say that women who are receptive to game are looking for a less than conscious/immature shallow relationship. It is mostly younger women in that camp. If you’re thinking about gaming women you’re not approaching it in a healthy conscious way and many lads gut sucked into that (including myself) I’m not an expert but you got to feel her and judge the moment. We all have our unique style with women and some women will connect with that and others not so much. I‘m more of a romantic. I like bubbly energetic women. More feminine. I’m exploring and learning this for myself in how I can better express my feelings Listen to some Marvin Gaye. Some good lessons on love

I love food and I love a variety of food but that might need to change Last few weeks I have developed an intolerance to what seems to be a lot of food. I do have IBS and have had issues in the past but these recent flare ups are causing a lot of pain. Stomach cramps and bloating. Not good The one thing to premise is that the one thing that definitely is okay on the gut is meat. I’m not keen on just eating meat but I’m not sure what choice I have certainly for the short term which is to stay on a carnivore diet and then after a month start to reintroduce certain foods I have a hunch it might mean that I have to stick to low FODMAP foods due to the bloating Also I did get a stool test and everything is fine so I do not know what is up. Is it an autoimmune issue? Anyone have any similar symptoms? @Leo Gura I know you’ve had auto immune issues any thoughts on this Thanks