mihael kheel

Hey people, I'm new here, good to be a part of this community :v I want to use visualization techniques to improve my overall self-image, have you tried it, has it worked for you? I found it in Psychocybernetics, I guess most of you have read this book too.

Hey actualizers, I'm fed up with not being comfortable with myself, I have a damn lot of beliefs that limit me in every way. It's been like this my whole life and I'm already 22 years old, it's about time things would change, isn't it? I've been reading past 2 years about self-esteem, belief system, consciousness and human psychology in general. I've become VERY self-conscious which is a bad thing at times. My rock-bottom self-esteem drove me to neurosis and a very severe anxiety (GAD). I've been working on that and I noticed that my anxiety goes down when my self-esteem goes up. It's much better now. So, I'm REALLY, REALLY fed up with such life, not being comfortable with myself sucks so bad (I used to despise myself SOOO much more, I hated myself, now I'm at a place where I don't really hate myself, but I don't have positive emotions about my "self" either, it's kinda empty, self-sabotage still persists), so I decided to become a better me. Last week I had an "enlightenment" moment (or whatever you wanna call it), I did some self-love practices for three days straight and I had two, maybe three hours of my BEST self. Self-sabotage disappeared, I became someone I only could dream of becoming. I became incredibly smart, confident, attractive, I was perfectly in tune with myself, perfectly calm, perfectly in the moment, perfectly happy, I loved myself and I was someone who thought there was nothing in this world that couldn't be done. I was so confident, I can't even put it into words, I became kind, very calm and badass. I found out that I had awesome characteristics (like intellect, social awareness, reading people & getting in touch with them easily, humor, confidence etc), I learnt that every good thing I had in me was being held in check by self-sabotage behavior, how cruel is that? For someone who always struggled with anxiety and low self-esteem it felt like I was going crazy. Unfortunately I returned to my old anxious self after a few hours, but I know that perfectly awesome state can be achieved and maintained, right? If I could live like that, I would literally be the happiest and most badass individual on earth, that's how much of a change I encountered in that short period of time. Just remembering that makes me wanna explode, I'm only 5% of the person I became back then. I think after living my whole life in emotional hell made me such an awesome person, but I cannot be that person until I change something. I'm not bragging, I really became someone like that. Now you tell me, is that even possible? One thing I noticed was that I viewed myself in a different (good) way, is that the reason I felt so awesome? does changing self-image cause such drastic changes? I want to change and become like that for good, how can I go about doing that? Some say self-love will change self-image, others say it many not. I'm confused.. You know where I am, what should I work on to live a better life? Should I work on loving myself or try to change my self-image, or both?

Suggesting otherwise (contrary to my beliefs) has helped me, like arguing with my negative self-talk is a good way to improve. I think this is it! I've always wanted to be better than other people, in other words it may be coming from my perfectionism. Anyway, I'll check out that book right away, you've been very helpful, thank you!

You don't get it, being comfortable with yourself is necessary but I'm talking about being great. I don't really want to be the person who is comfortable with himself but cannot do anything IRL. I can be better, but I am not because there ARE beliefs that are limiting me and you're telling me to accept them? If I think I'm ugly, should I say "Oh, well, I love myself either way" or "I'm not ugly, I am handsome, but I would love myself even if I was ugly" ? Same goes for other beliefs as well, giving yourself love is important, but are you sure that self-love can dissolve EVERY limiting belief that I have? What makes great people great? I don't mean historical leaders or smth like that. Just everyday people, who are confident, perfectly in tune with themselves and able to do anything? What makes them different? I know a lot of people like that, I had a much harsher life so I should have learnt more from life, be able to do more etc. But it's the difference in beliefs, their life has led them to forge a positive self-image, that's what makes us different, do you disagree with me on this? I know some people who love themselves but still have insecurities, they are comfortable but have miserable lives, most of them don't even have the healthy desire to improve. I think self-love must come with the desire to improve. I know I'm perfect though, these are all society standards (to get a job, be good at smth), I could give a flying fuck on what society says, it's just that being able to be something great but not being it because of low self-esteem / poor self-image makes me go crazy. Guess I'll have to figure it out by experience...

Hey, thanks for the input! But how about 'fake it till you make it' approach? Do you think it's impossible to transform one's self? I'm consciously aware that I shouldn't dislike any part of me and that helped me greatly in reducing my self-sabotage behavior, but there are limiting beliefs in my subconscious that need to be taken care of, beliefs like "I'm ugly, I can't, I'm not good enough", whilst in reality I'm more than good enough, I've got better life & social skills than your average joe, but I'm performing much worse than them in life, that's why I'm pissed off. When I'm 10 times smarter than someone yet he gets better academic results just because I sabotage myself through the process and that's the only thing that drops my performance...wtf?! What makes a person great?! - Beliefs! am I wrong to deduce this? I have enough experience to say that I'm sure of it. So should I start working on my beliefs (like mirror exercises, affirmations etc.) or self love alone (which you guys say will take care of the negative beliefs). In other words, I want to unleash my full potential which is being held in check by limiting beliefs which I have from childhood. I thought viewing oneself in a better way & thinking of oneself as one desires to be was the way to go, am I wrong? My goal is to be the best I can be, to use 100% of my good qualities, how can I do that (again)?

I didn't mean neglecting my own self and building a new self-image, I was talking about my belief system. My negative beliefs are what causes lack of self-love, isn't that right? In short self-love = no self-sabotage = better thoughts = beneficial beliefs = better self-image, correct?

what do you mean by this? I don't really get what Shadow Archetype means

I'd like to ask : are you talking from your experience?

no self-image makeover needed then?