emil1234

So I made a post about a week ago regarding a bad trip that I had. Basically I got the message that god doesnt want to exist and that consciousness is basically an inescapeable eternal prison. I had a similar trip about two years ago, which rattled me pretty bad, and ive been struggling to let the insight go. So my question is; how do i best integrate this? The way I look at it, is that I have to let this message go. The message has been haunting me for the past two years, and ive been trying to disprove it to myself in my head everyday, coming up with reasons for why it cant be true and so forth. However the trip kinda threw it right in my face like "haha how are you gonna disprove this?" So in a lot of ways the reasons i decided to take the trip a week ago, was very much in order to disprove this former insight that I had. So yea, my interpretation is that what I have to do is let it go, i dont want to take the trip literal, since walking around everyday looking at the world like an inescapable eternal prison is not good for me lol. Would really like some feedback and interpretations, so thanks in advance and lots of love

so its been a long time since ive tripped, since it rattled me last. since then, ive been doing really well, meditating, excersising, eating well, and really living a good and healthy life. So i was in a very good mindset, so i decided to take 100 ugs of lsd. Because I wanted to disprove my prior realization. Appearantly everytime I trip, I come to the conclusion that I am god bored and stuck in existence, forced to experience, longing for non existence. Everything is a joke, and god does not want to exist. im pretty sure this isnt the ultimate truth, because i hear so many people speaking of infinite love and all this, but man. I really cant get past this realization. The past two years of my life has basically been about disproving this realization through living a good life, and ultimately having a trip in a real good mindset. But i reached the same conclusion. pls tell me this is not the ultimate truth

@kamwalker how are the other parts of infinity that you've experienced? id love to hear

@Snader Yea I've never really had that loneliness aspect. It goes without saying, also as you point out, we're definetely biased when it comes to these experiences, which is also why we all have slightly different, in some cases extremely different experiences. I've only experienced the oneness or aloneness part as self loving, like a deeper connection with other people.

@Osaid well the way i perceived is that consciousness or god was stuck inside of it itself, trying to escape itself essentially. looking back, this could be interprated in a number of ways, but during the trip, when I looked people in the eye, I saw the consciousness inside of them hating itself. It's like consciousness was disgusted by itself and the fact that it had to exist.