emil1234

help lol, i cant unsee it

@Inliytened1 yes one of my biggest attachments on my journey has been my sanity. i havent dared letting go of it until now. Ive had several experiences where i felt like i was losing my mind, and it was fucking frightening, so everytime i felt like i was losing my self, i would always instantly stop all practice and ground myself. however right now its clear that i have to let it go. all bets are in, insanity here i come

@Water by the River i really like your posts mate. thanks for the respons, im jumping in. @Breakingthewall yea its fucking frightening right now man, i feel like my character is slowly dying.im feeling a lot of anxiety. but i also notice that when i embrace the abyss, my misery and fear basically get instantly eleviated. but the character is holding on for dear life

sadhguru is super high tier. i heard similar stories from nearly all people who reported attending his programs

@mmKay yes i noticed this, its literally the background of everything

it actually feels epic, and i was in misery just an hour ago when i was rejecting the void

its like my mind/reality is being penetrated and inhabitated by the void

@Yimpa yea i feel this hard right now

havent done 5meo yet, but so far: 1. DMT 2. ayahuasca 3. lsd

@Yimpa it seems losing ones mind is mandatory on the path

@Yimpa whats all this stuff about crocodiles

@Hojo you might be right. i might have stopped midway because the initial disassociation felt pretty uncomfortable. however im a bit reluctant since i suffered from derealization for the better part of 2 years, and this feels pretty much like that. but im gonna be honest embracing the void i feel instantly better

@Purple Man what the fuck that sounds insane

is this the atman? or whatever. it seems pretty eternal and unchanging

@Hojo was my initial thought as well. i tried meditating on it intensely, which resulted in me disassociating lol

@Leo Gura its a bit like im a schrodingers cat. non existence is literally right behind my back. and yet this non existence seems to have sentience or awareness. its always been there, ive just never noticed it in this way. its also there when im in deep sleep, it basically IS deep sleep. dunno, it just kind of freaks me out theres an infinite void behind my back. and its part of me, im aware of it. or maybe its aware of me

Lol

ill be saving this one for future use, thank you good sir

i first realized this during an acid trip, where i spend literally 12 hours just staring at my hands, baffling at their existence. since then ive always been able to put myself into kind of a mini trip just by looking at my hands. i dont know what its about, but there something magical about hands. ive heard several people on here mention it, including leo in some of his videos, and yesterday my friend had his first mystical experience on lsd, and all he did was stare at his hands the entire trip why are hands magical?

appreciate the posts, beautiful

@Dodo yea i see what u mean, that wasnt at all my experience. i think what made me lucid was that when i looked at my hands, they looked just as real as everyday life, not at all like in a dream. almost more real than real tbh. id rate the experience pretty significant, on par with some of my psychedelic trips

no i became lucid the moment i looked at my hands and they looked completely normal and real. my hands triggered the lucid dreaming basically

@Dodo interesting. however during the only 2 times i experienced lucid dreaming, i "woke up" inside the dream, by looking at my hands, and i remember distinctly i was amazed that my hands looked so fucking real, they werent distorted at all

@Princess Arabia as i just stated, absolutley no phenomena what so ever. i sense your stance will be "well then thats what your conscious of", but if this is the case you've ran into a contradiction

this makes no sense. im simply refuting your first statement; deep sleep proves you dont need time and space and something to be conscious of. because you are in still conscious in deep sleep, in which time and space does not exist, nor does any other phenomena what so ever,, so no consciousness is not a thought