Tenebroso

These kind of men probably receive validation very early. When I was at school some guys were getting laid at 13,14 those boys begun a cycle of always being involved with women and being validated, they never even had a chance to develop shame. While guys like myself have been stuck in an infinite cycle of peer and romantic rejection from childhood, how are you supposed to break that negative loop if you never get a chance. All the self development and awareness means nothing if you never get a chance to show your positive qualities in a relationship, people are not islands we grow and gain confidence in relation to other people. This is the missing part of your excellent post which did resonate with me. Some men like myself are psychologically and emotionally broken beyond repair, it feels karmic as if I did something to deserve this in another life.

@Emerald Reply to my edited post.

@Emerald Interesting examples. I admire Jon Stewart and Cornel West. George Carlin is a hero of mine, use to fall asleep to his comedy specials. Jack Black I admire but I know I could never embody that level of self confidence. Your original post is enlightening, I recognize the shame you talk about in myself. I am 30 and have only known rejection to the point that I struggle to look women in the eye and try to avoid them in public now because I feel so unworthy. I've never tried to compensate by being super stylish or becoming muscular, focusing on my look etc However at least for my generation it seems those things matter you don't get to show your positive qualities unless you have an attractive mask. I feel that there is a harsh truth that society struggles to accept, some men are just meant to be alone. Being my natural self has never attracted anyone. All kinds of men get laid a lot not just guys similar to your examples with a balanced masculine and feminine nature. Murderers, drug dealers, thieves and much worse seem to get laid. In the UK where I live a police officer kidnapped, abused and killed a woman while on duty yet he had a wife and family. What's so wrong with guys like me?

@Princess Arabia Thought provoking. So why are women very repulsed by the desire of some men, while being very receptive to others. What are the guys who women consistently respond positively to, doing right. If feels like the male desire for sex and love is a burden to women. I have resorted in recent years to hiding my desire because I have no positive experience of a woman embracing my presence.

I was born with a birth injury and spent my hospital in childhood, so this should be interesting. Thanks.

Fascinating thread

I'm open to anything that helps but I can't lie it's a bit disheartening that one has to do something like this just to experience what comes naturally to other men. I feel like these type of things help men who have some sort of romantic success/experience in the past, so they know it's possible. However if you have had literally nothing only rejection, maybe the subconscious and self image is so damaged to the point it can't be healed and maybe it's even doing more damage to give yourself false hope. If there was a pill that could switch off romantic and sexual desire permanently I would take it. The only reason I don't take my own life is because I believe in reincarnation and if I take that option I will have to do this life of rejection and suffering again.

I understand. When you are in a negative mindset, these kind of stories can be hard to take but it's not a conspiracy, it's how we evolved. At the end of the day you have to focus on your own journey, resenting what another man gets can only trigger seething poisonous resentment which will sabotage you. If I could turn back the clock when I was deep in my resentful phase I would just ignore these kind of stories, they keep young men in a negative feedback loop.

@Princess Arabia You are right, I am determined to find a new approach because I have chosen to let go of victimhood regardless of the past and take a positive life affirming approach to life. I have experienced the depths of despair and come out the other side, I now believe life is worth living even if things don't always work out the way you want. Putting myself out there without too many expectations does seem like the best approach from where I am. The questioning approach to affirmations is something I have never come across before, so instead of commanding your subconscious you ask? So it is better to be more open ended about intentions and desires instead of specific because it gives your subconscious more to play with? I apologize for my antagonizing post in the past. Thanks for your patience.

@Princess Arabia I appreciate you taking the time to give a detailed insightful response. I think being open to receiving as you say is the key. I have very closed aloof energy, maybe as a result of being too used to being alone. Can a person begin to change from the inside out through affirmations and visualization. A person is always growing and even for men your vibe can change year to year, month to month etc Is it worth it to try to date when you are actively working on improving yourself or would it be healthier to not think of women, sex, attraction etc at all until I develop a healthier vibe. Sometimes it feels like I have to be perfect to have a chance yet everyone is a work in progress consciously or unconsciously, so if there is someone for everyone wouldn't there also be someone for every internal state you may be embodying at any particular time positive or negative.

@Princess Arabia Great post. It makes sense, it seems that female attraction is very dynamic. What does it mean if you never seem to fit into what a woman needs? So you don't get chosen to settle down with, you don't get casual sex and hookups because women sense you are not a player and even the women drawn to toxic men unconsciously seeking to repeat their trauma are not drawn to you. Naturally I am closer to the simple looking guy, not flashy I don't stand out apart from being very tall. I also wear glasses, how does that effect how I am perceived? Can you become another type? Is there any way for a tall, skinny guy who wears glasses to become the guy who women feel can satisfy them when they are horny.

@Princess Arabia Isn't this a Catch 22, chicken or the egg type conundrum? What if circumstances when we are a child create those beliefs, how do you get out of that loop? Consciously creating a new identity?

@Princess Arabia So your beliefs create your reality? Everything is a mental reflection of your self image?

Until society faces the true nature of female desire all of this confusion will continue. However, that cannot happen, men need to stay ignorant to keep the wheels churning.

I am where you are. I cut out numbing distractions like porn, alcohol etc in 2023. It gives you great clarity but that clarity only makes your despair more painful. I take it day by day, hour by hour for example today about 4 films I love were on television unexpectedly, it took me out of my dark stupor for half of the day. My birthday is just before Christmas and as usual I spent my birthday, Christmas and new years alone apart from some volunteering. Life isn't fair while we live quiet lives of desperation another guy has more friends and women than you can imagine it's not because we are horrible, terrible people it's just the randomness of life. My Father was a violent, abusive man and ended up with 7 children that we know of from multiple women. I try to find joy in small things but deep down I wish I had never been born, progressing spiritually doesn't mask the inherent nastiness of this world, it's just another cope.

I listened to the whole thing, it was better and more informative than I thought it would be and it aligns with what I have already observed myself. The Red Pill/Black Pill/Manosphere is not a cult it doesn't have to do anything to attract men, reality itself shows you the truth and now men are sharing notes. The way he describes female nature it's easy to see why they are so susceptible to sex cults. No incentive to be an honest, moral, kind gentleman in this world the things women respond to are in direct opposition to what they say they want. "Just be a kind, emotionally vulnerable, gentle, ambitious man you entitled creep"! "Men Are Trash"! "I don't do coffee dates" "You are not entitled to women"!........While they are being fucked in toilets and having orgies with rappers and athletes. There are two choices become a hermit and retreat from society and it's gaslighting of average men or throw morality aside and do what you need to do to become one of the guys living in sexual abundance. His point that men we think of as high value alphas are actually compensating is 100% true. CEO's, politicians, Bankers and even some entertainers reach the top thinking they will attract women but you can't fake true desire. There are low level drug dealers with zero savings having sex with models, lawyers and all kinds of women. Murderers and serial always have women. The less men are concerned with morality and doing the right thing the better they do with women but men are gaslighted by society into thinking it is the opposite. It is ALL women not some as the common response would have you believe.

Life isn't fair there is not someone for everyone. Some men will attract thousands of women without doing any inner work or anything, some men will attract nothing despite their efforts.

Lived in a western country my whole life, eat all the western junk. Yet I am very slender and lean, regardless of what I eat and I don't work out. Why?

@Princess Arabia Interesting post. I feel there is some truth in your post. However...... Why does the universe arrange for some people to be rejected constantly while others live in romantic and sexual abundance despite being overtly harmful, dishonest and abusive ? You can't expect men to be rejected constantly without building resentment. There is only so much resolve and 'inner love' you can fall back on. Regardless of one's spiritual development, the reality remains that we live in a physical world and constant reminder of your lack of worthiness chips away at your soul. So the universe is doing it's thing in telling me I am useless and unwanted. Why would the universe want me to come into physical form to experience such humiliation? I don't know how women and the virtue seeking men who seek a pat on the back for being one of the good ones think we are supposed to feel. Our feelings do not matter? My feeling is that deep down women wish all the undesirable men would just drop dead or silently retreat out of society somewhere, maybe that is the best option. The men who do attract a lot of women don't seem to be treating them right but what do I know, the universe is in charge.

It's not worth it for most men. Even for attractive men, women have lost their mystique and allure, we see them clearly now and you can't unsee their true nature once you see it. The cat is never going back into the bag.

Women don't want to be loved. If they did the whole dating arena would look differently. It is clear they .do not respond to being 'loved'. Society wants us to pretend to not see this.

You are in charging of making an effort to give yourself a chance. However, I agree it's not really in your hands. Many guys spend their whole trying and get nothing while objectively abusive, violent terrible drains on society live in sexual abundance. Life isn't fair. There is no formula do x,y,z to guarantee sexual and romantic success. Especially with the unprecedented freedom of choice women have now, we are seeing their true desires and most men don't make the cut regardless of how kind, gentle, funny, intelligent, clean and spiritually evolved they are.

It just reaffirms your failure to do what should be natural, which is attracting a mate. However, many men today regardless of what self-improvement they do will not attract anyone. There is not someone for everyone.

@SeaMonster That's because there are no 'girls' women into them. Can't develop that intuition if nobody is ever into you and get told your a bad toxic person even though you are not the ones traumatizing women in hook ups and relationships.

All the people talking down self righteously on the OP. He is actually right this 'this women are wonderful' narrative is silly and is actually more harmful to the women you claim to care about. Why is it so hard to acknowledge that women are for the most part a chore to deal with it, does not make you toxic or spiritually undeveloped to observe that. Plus abusers, toxic, violent men have no trouble attracting all kinds of women, what does that say about female nature that society is so scared to talk about it.