Siggi

I've just realised that i've been wondering in the forrest of spiral stage Orange for a bit. It's so free'ing to realise it and letting it go haha. I've been focusing soooo much on materialistic things like planning on becoming financially independent (which is not bad), looking good, fashion, hair cuts and just looking good in general, being better than my friends in everything, outsmarting them and etc. Taking part in this rat race and being a better rat than others in simple terms haha. Just glad to be out of it <3 This is probably an ego defence or backlash of some sort... I lost my sister 3 months ago and had to stop my college degree because of that event. I've just been trying to make me feel better by feeding my ego all kinds of stuff in attempt to get my mood away from all that grieving, sadness and depression. An example of this is I was planning on making one of my life goals to own a Rolex watch like that would mean I am finally financially independent and made it to that stage... Had a fantasy of my friends envying me while I wore a COOGI sweater with a Rollie on my wrist. Get outta here Siggi! One thing that I understand more after her passing is that I know how villains or monsters get created. When you are filled with such STRONG and negative emotions like I got and you're not dealing with them and you just live in them for a long period of time, no wonder you want everything to burn or be destroyed. Hope those of you that read this take an extra moment to look if there is some external stuff that are making you behave different and feel bad. Important to stay on your toes. Thank you Leo for making me the person I am today, has made everything less hard the last couple of weeks.

@juvoci Agree but I was getting sucked into that rat race. Started to focus only on the cheese. Wishing for people to envy me. Getting crumbled by the toxicity that the stage Orange can bring to a person. What a relieve to be out of it. Funny also how you can get lost in things and just a bit of self journaling clears everything up for you.

@Recursoinominado Problem being dealt with This post was more of a sharing my experience. I recommend Stephan Graham for finances on youtube, I kinda felt in the beginning he was a weasel but he's very good at making you aware of your finances and interesting to watch.

I am so needy for love. I am so needy for people to look at me as an nice guy. I hate it when my friends do stuff without me. I am always paranoid that people are going to dump me and not just girls that Im dating! Its also just good friends. When I ask them to hang out and they say they're busy I start to get thoughts that go like "he probably doesn't like you", "he's getting tired of you" and "you're not gonna hang out with him again". And when it comes to dating its really bad. She might not reply to a very basic snap that i have sent her through snapchat and I start getting these extreme negative thoughts. I am very aware of these thoughts and never act on them or show I have them, I Learned that from Leos video "how to deal with strong negative emotions". But Im so f*cking tired of generating these negative thoughts and having to go through a routine to not act on them and so on. I want to get rid of this constant need and those negative thoughts.

Name: Sigurður Andri Agnarsson Age: 17 Gender: Male Location: Reykjavík, Iceland Occupation: Personal Development, Football (You guys call it Soccer) Marital Status: Single Kids: No........... Hobbies: Self-Devolpment, football and hanging out with friends/family I got into personal development in 2015 when I started watching you after my break-up with my ex-girlfriend. I first noticed you when I was making a joke to my ex-girlfriend because I thought I didn't have that many friends and send her a picture on SnapChat of your video on how to make friends. I always thought the mind was an underrated skill and my mother is finishing her masters degree in psychology so I was very influenced by he. Personal challenges I've overcome since I started watching your videos: Im much more aware of my emotions and can control them better Im starting to take responsibility of all my actions What I'm working on now: Making my mind solid as a rock Being complete My dream in becoming a professional footballer