Martin123

Hi SaaraSabina. I would encourage you to look deeply into this belief. 'I'ts like be alone or do what others want you to do.'... You are suggesting here that what people experience a relationship with you is only what they want from you, and you get nothing from it. Therefore you are going to feel like you're always doing something for them, but since your expectation and belief is that you don't personally get anything from relationships, they will be one-sided. So i'ts kinda like this - you get into a relationship, you don't allow yourself to communicate or even have emotional needs within that relationship, and when other people start communicating their needs (no matter how justifiable or trauma based they may be), it feels like an assault on you, because you will never ask for anything, and so when someone asks something of you it is an imbalance. Therefore the issue is that you deny yourself the privellege and pleasure of having your needs for connection, love and safety met from other people. Here is a healing mantra if you'd like, that will help you make peace with this. 'I let go of denying myself, because the only thing that results in self-denial, is the denial of others. The more I deny myself, the more I can only expect others to do the same, and therefore can I see that self expression and communication of my needs and emotions is what ends self-denial within me and within others. The more open and generous with my emotions, desires and feelings I allow myself to be with others, the better I will feel, and the greater relationships I will build and attract.' One more thing. Look into 'dismissive avoidant attachment style'.

@wavydude I’m glad it’s helping you guys out. i might be posting more in the future on different issues and sticking points just to support everyone energetically and spread the light!

Yes, love this !! ‘There is no self’ ... says the self ?... how bananas...

@DLH Thanks for bringing this up. Very glad I can address this. I am a fan of self-realisation just as much as the next guy. However I’ve always been lucky during my journey never to focus on it too much, and never to make a big deal out of it. Therefore when it came to me and became Permanently anchored in my reality, it was almost irrelevant. I know myself as the consciousness that I am that we all are, and yet nothing within me, and not even the person that I am, was ever dismissed as an illusion, because to say that is to ultimately disrespect yourself and your own self-worth (not to be confused with arrogant egoic patterning). The need and drive for self-realisation often becomes a way of escaping from ones personal journey of transformation. Simply because, the personal journey can be incredibly excruciating. Then claiming ‘there is no I’, is a form of self-rejection and becomes a mechanism through which We avoid taking personal responsibility and accountability for our own pain, and avoid our own emotional needs. Then it can become even crazier, when the one who has dismissed their divine autonomous personality and sovereignty starts going around telling others how there is no ‘I’ within them, which is a form of gaslighting. Imagine telling to a loved one who is crying in pain that they don’t exist. It is a form of cruelty, and an extraordinarily manipulative thing to do. The truth is that when we spend long periods of time in self-denial called ‘there is no I’, it will ultimately create a pressure within your body because you are consistently dismissing your own personal and emotional needs. If anything self realisation teaches us is how to be freely ourselves, and therefore have no barriers towards greater self-love, self-care, and to have the necessary resilience and self-responsibility to see our healing journeys through. So back to what you stated about questioning your inner child. May I bring to your attention that doing so is actually a way of avoiding your own needs. It ties nicely to what I said to Mu in an earlier comment, and that is that until we make our inner child a pivotal part of our experience, your self-realisation will be unintegrated, and it will be you trying to be ‘the consciousness of all’ ,at the expense of being your own person, instead of being the enlightened awakened consciousness on an ever expanding journey of healing and transformation embodying its light into physical form through the joy and privellege of being a person.

I appreciate the feedback! The reasons why you haven’t felt anything are two fold. firstly it simply means you haven’t built up the necessary sensitivity to welcome the more subtle energies you’re always surrounded by and are entering your energy field. Secondly may I bring your attention to the phrase ‘up my dose’, which is suggesting a subconscious addictive patterning. The reason why you haven’t felt anything is because the ‘nothing you’ve felt’ is actually the compulsive need for something more to be felt and experienced being dissolved. The healing energy entering your nervous system will primarily focus on dissolving addictive patenting and the constant need for stimulation, and therefore the lack of stimulation is exactly what’s needed in order for you to evolve out of the need for more, and into the satisfied and relaxed radiance of your consciousness. the part of you that ‘wants more’ will always want more, until it exhausts it’s momentum and releases its grip through moments of surrender. much love and support to you .

@Mu_ thank you for the comment Mu! Yes love is there and speaks the words. Channelling is what happened when the love that was doing the listening suddenly became the same space that started speaking. The inner child within us is the playful and creative representation of the emotional Needs we may or may not be expressing and acknowledging to ourselves. ultimately if we are seeking self-realisation and enlightenment, the type of relationship we have with that existential realisation is largely determined by the relationship we have with our inner child. Once our relationship with our realisation is mature, it is because the inner child within us has been acknowledged as a vital part of the process, which allows us to dissolve patterns of holding on or seeking externally, and we will not only be beings who know themselves as god, but be god that is excited and willing to be a human being expressing its highest potential in a body of form. all the best !!!

Thank you for receiving it, and allowing me to be of benefit in your journey! It is a great pleasure and honor to know that what I've channeled has impacted you in such a way! <3

Glad you enjoyed it and were able to take it in!

That is a beautiful mantra of compassion to invoke the energy of Compassion of Green Tara I love it !

Instead of figuring out whether this moment is happening or not, perhaps consider the possibility that the reason why this moment can be witnessed is because it has already happened. Had it not already happened, it couldn't be witnessed, because you cannot witness 'things that are not', and for a moment to be, it must have already been created. Therefore the moment you are experiencing right now is only being experienced from a retrospect of your highest consciousness, that has already lived out the infinite possibilities of all your possible futures, and is witnessing this moment as a replay of its infinite expansion and experience.

@lmfao hi! Let me chip in to help you through this. Yes, honesty and vulnerability are hard, because in doing so we are tearing down the walls that were raised to protect us from our unresolved pain. but please know this. Behind these walls, it is the most innocent, joyful, happy go-lucky and excited you that you are and always have been, and you merely felt like you needed to hide that part of you because it wasn’t safe to embrace it. I am here to let you know, that now it is safe to be you, no matter the reactions and expectations of others. You have a right to be you, to express yourself as you wish, and to allow yourself to want, need, desire and receive all that you’ve always craved, and other people’s criticism and expectations are only the judgements they have about themselves being projected onto you. And in knowing this is so, you have a full right to disregard them, and not care what they think and say. All the best!!

@meow_meow You misunderstand. There was no practice that lead to my kundalini awakening, which was the whole point of what I posted. Kundalini awakening is something that happens when someone is ready for it in the journey of their evolution, as such if we surrender to the fact that it is not up to our will when and how it will awaken, we are actually quickening the process of our evolution by surrendering to the will of the universe evolving us through our journey of life, and by letting go of the need for us to experience the kundalini awakening we are increasing the likelihood that we will move into the timeline of embodying our highest potential, that may or may not include a journey of kudalini awakening. We all need different things in different moments of our journey. Kundalini awakening isn't any more special than any other practice that increases our spiritual and emotional maturity. On the other hand, trying to awaken our kundalini is likely to increase the pressure we put on ourselves and exhaust us as a result. Perhaps a better question than 'how to awaken kundalini' is 'why do I want my kundalini to awaken?' Is it because underneath it all I don't feel good enough and project my spiritual aspirations as a promise of a reward that I never received from one of my parents? Am I subconsciously telling myself that until I awake my kundalini I will be unlovable and feel like a failure, and therefore am attached to the idea of it happening? Does the feminine essence of the energetic expression of consciousness represent the nurturing affection I have never received as a child and I am taking that unresolved relationship from my past and applying it to the relationship with my spiritual journey? Am I using my spiritual journey merely to perpetuate the unhealed trauma I have experienced in my family? ... those are some good questions!

Some fun facts about kundalini awakening: - not every person going through kundalini awakening is going through the same journey - kundalini is the energy of surrender, instead of trying to awaken one's kundalini, it is much wiser to practice the energy of allowing, surrender and acceptance and allow the universe to awaken the kundalini within you whether that aligns with your highest potential. - if someone is hopped up on wanting to awaken their kundalini energy, when and if they do, they are likely to find themselves having a hella terrible time with it, simply because the 'ego' that wanted the kundalini to awaken will start being deconstructed at a rather rapid rate, and it can be an extremely painful process. Please have compassion with yourself and take your evolution one step at a time, and allow the universe to usher you into what you are ready for, rather then try to speed through it with practices that intensify energetic phenomena. - kundalini yoga is a very masculine energy, whereas the kundalini itself is a feminine essence, and the best practice when someone has a kundalini awakening is to relate to oneself with love, kindness, compassion and care. To treat yourself only the way divine treats you. That's a much better practice for most people than to spend time being dizzy from hyperventillating for days on end. The reason for this is simply because if we relate to ourselves in a masculine way (such as through forcing the kundalini through breathwork practices), it is too forceful and it is almost as if we were going against the current of lifeforce energy within us, and while we are creating intensity in our nervous system, it is still too forceful for it to be effective, and we are bound to operate under pressure from oureslves. However in the feminine essence of awakening, pressure is replaced with support and care. Forget about kundalini, and start supporting yourself.

Heyy someone's sharing Laura's videos on here. So fun, she had a kundalini awakening when I did, same day! What a joy to see her mentioned here! The energy she radiates enlivens and uplifts the forum.

Hi @Jennjenn ! First of all I am very sorry about the serious traumatic abusive and damaging experiences of your childhood. Forgiveness for many people is an aspiration, and yet it is the journey we take to get there that allows us to forgive with ease, only under the circumstances that we allow ourselves not to forgive at all. There is a lot of rage you carry, and it has a rightful place to exist within you. Please give it room in your consciousness. Please allow it to be expressed, and please give yourself the permission to feel it. CPTSD is a result of a great number of traumatic events during an individual's childhood, and something I am intimately familiar with. The most generous and loving thing you can do for yourself is to take the pressure off. As a survivor, you are likely carrying patterns of subconscious guilt and self-blame, where the mechanism that copes with the pain blames yourself as if it must have somehow been your fault, rather than seeing that the circumstances were completely unjust, insane and unconscionable. There is no need to minimize the pain, there is only an opportunity to give it more room to be felt, respected, expressed and healed. And it is healed through your permission to hurt as much as you need to hurt, because in every moment of hurting, the victim within you is being liberated, and in every moment where you are feeling through the pain, forgiveness is being offered to your perpetrators. Perhaps the greatest essence of forgiveness is our willingness to feel through whatever has happened to us, instead of shutting down as a result of the trauma. And so if you struggle with forgiveness, just feel, and the more deeply you will feel your pain, the deeper your forgiveness will be anchored in your being, and the more whole, complete and liberated you will be. All the best and good luck with your healing!.

@Arcanus Hi Arcanus, lovely to meet you. I will give you a priceless relationship advice. Learn about attachment styles and start doing the work! Here is where to start https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/ . Find your style, find your partners, and have a talk about it. In time, you will find that your love is wonderful and strong, it is just the expectations and associations we have towards connection and love that tend to make it a little bit of a complicated mess.

I do not know which section to post this in, I am posting this in here as this section is the most frequented. First let's quote the guidelines I have personally witnessed several instances of gas lighting and rather abusive and aggressive tendencies on the forum in the past few days. Namely it was in interactions with the users @remember and @BETGR164128. As someone who comes from a narcissistic family, speaking up against abuse is one of the greatest tools that instigate healing for me. Often after speaking up, I go through experiences of releasing stored traumatic memories and intense emotional releases, and a rewiring of my nervous system. That is why I also understand the incredibly destructive nature of such behavior, and I do not understand why this type of behavior goes unnoticed by moderators. Yet I have even witnessed such behavior to be encouraged by moderators @Inliytened1. Not only is it a violation of the guidelines, but it is abuse that does actual emotional and psychological damage to psyches and nervous systems. If you were to see such behavior in person, it would be deemed inappropriate and intolerable by most. Yet it goes without any notice on the forum. In my perception, further tolerance for such behavior only perpetuates denial and creates breeding grounds for more abuse, manipulation, confusion and pain. Only more distractions from genuine healing and the realizations of the spiritual path so many chose to explore here on the forum (as Leo said in the guidelines), on a forum that to many is almost like a 'Zen-temple', not a place to tolerate abuse. To outline the threads I had in mind:

HAHA That's funny. I hope that's a joke.

SO yeah... Lento got banned for quote 'questioning Leo in his absence.'... cool cool cool cool cool 'inserts Jake Parolta meme'... This isn't a cult at all, okay guys I am leaving yall. Been nice knowing you Sending blessings of the purest and most loving light onto all souls who have touched this collective field of reality.

I've quit the forum because of the insensitive treatment of virtually 99% people, even of those who have 'good intentions', who are just trynna fix everyone while pretending they're helping while sharing their own judgements with me, and given the intensity of healing, it's just too much for me, but in the light of this thread and in the light of that I've actually been sick for the past 2 days with rather strange symptoms, I feel like it's important to share this, feel free to repost: From Matt Kahn's Facebook page: it contains healing vibration that enters your field just by reading the words.

@Artaemis yes but Still y u gotta be so rude I mean thanks ? I don’t knowwwewew

Unsolicited advice is: Heres all the judgements about you and here’s what I want you to change about yourself so I can feel differently about the ideas I have about you. Its SO Ruuuude god yall making me so uncomfortable all I really want is to heal in peace and express myself, I love affecting others through the channeled healing energy coursing through my nervous system but this just so brutally impolite ???? I’m having a meltdown

@Artaemis oh my god why is everyone being my life coach stahp or be blocked

@Lento Oh I understand. You equate dominance with being assertive. No Assertiveness is the necessity of loving expression to actualize beauty and love into form. Imagine illuminated lightbeings being afraid to express themselves because they 'don't wanna dominate', dominance is a case that says 'I will dominate you as a way of avoiding your potential of hurting me, because I am too afraid of a potential attack, I will strike first'. Assertiveness says 'Well this is how it is, this is my truth, take it or leave it, doesn't bother me one bit, I just wish to express myself with kindness, enthusiasm, love and compassion'. Father saving a child from a cliff is an act of wisdom, love and kindness, not a dominance of any kind. That is the positive action of the masculine energy, where the love for a child has perhaps tempered immature expressions of masculinity. You can still be assertive and not dominate anyone at all. Also, That's a nice way of saying 'you're wrong' while refusing to be direct about it. I can't say that I'd choose to be treated that way, and so unless you're willing to be more direct, let's end this discussion. I am still in a very vulnerable and raw place and unless you are willing to be emotionally supportive at this point in time, discussions like this can't really be good for me.

@Lento I guess the issue I had with what you said was that 'dominance' can be something like care and protection. No, unless it was a typo and you meant to say 'curse and projection', that would be truthful. I think I should also own a personal trigger in this conversation because there is a fury within me that arises when people justify abusive and hurtful tendencies and situations. And while that fury is something I have yet to integrate, the truth of the matter is that no matter how small, any amount of abuse will never be justifiable, and a Teal Swan quote isn't designed for such things. In this case, it would be a resistance to the eradication of abuse from one's life, not to the abuse itself. Its more of a resistance of having very high standards of how you will allow other people to treat you, at the cost of facing the possibility of being completely alone. Dominance only exists to return to the light. It also exists to keep ego-structures from integrating, but that's not the direction consciousness is taking.