Martin123

Hey. I will talk a bit about my inderstanding of codependence and my experience with it. Here I mention severe codependence, there are people who can be lightly codependent just culturally conditioned into the idea of monogamistic romance, that is not what I am getting here at. Severe or extreme codependence originates in abandonment trauma. Mostly abandonned by mother. In a very young age you were once or repeatedly in a situation that gave you the feeling of being abandoned. to a child abandoned = dead So the core emotion behind this whole problem is this insanely dreadful loneliness. Not the "I feel kinda lonely" loneliness. It is "I AM GOING TO DIE" loneliness. The only genuine solution to this is to release the emotion. That is going to be ver very painful and scary as fuck. I am going through it right now, that is what inspired me to write about this topic. Peace out

Why?

@Nahm ah I see. Yeah I just realized Im filtering affirmations through my own lense of negative experience with them from the past. I still cant help but dislike the general idea, however Im coming to realize that proper use can accelerate one's development. There just needs to be caution to what resonates.

@Nahm dont understand the question

@Afonso your subconscious mind = your body your beliefs - hard-wired within your nervous system transcending core beliefs = emotional labour, biological process. From this stand-point most self-help including stuff like "positive affirmation" seem seriously retarded.

You're absolutely right, my bad I didn't express myself correctly. When I say you either are aware or are not aware, I don't mean it in a simplistic manner. You can be aware of quantum mechanics, you can be aware of quantum mechanics in depth, or on a surface level. You can expand this awareness by integrating more knowledge into your view of reality. But the whole concept of intelligence just doesn't check out. The mainstream term intelligence suggests that you either are good at Maths or you're not. That is just simply not true, you have the capacity to be good at Maths, and you either fulfill it or not. Some capacities are for some people much easier to fulfill than others, and that's it. The problem is that it is not quantifiable, the whole idea of measuring IQ off of a standardized test is complete utter nonsense, and only creates space for more insecurity and judgement. What does someone with "higher intelligence" look like? If "you" are intelligent, which you do you mean? The You that you present to your parents, or the you that you present to your peers? I can show you a practical example from my own life. In the past I used to play a lot of piano. Sometimes I would just sit at the piano and could not play at all. Even if I wanted to come up with something good, I simply couldn't. Other times, I just sat and played music I didn't know I was capable of creating. It was a beautiful amazing creation of mine and it was flowing effortlessly. Now on what basis are you going to judge my "musical intelligence"? The first situation or the second situation? Intelligence IS a cultural concept. Awareness, creativity and skill are human qualities.

@Mark96 Intelligence is a social construct. How do you measure that? It is not static, it cannot be. It is a totally manmade invention that doesn't have a real value. Don't waste your time with it. You either are aware of things, or you're not. It is as simple as that.

Yes! Summoning Jutsu 4 cheekbones of knowledge! You are obviously trying to have the role of "look at me, I am non-conformist, I am special". I am not going to say what to do specifically for this, but generally for these attachments. Whenever you form an attachment (such as this one), there is some sort of emotional pain you are escaping. Some trauma, some facet of your being that you haven't faced fully yet. You might not be ready to face some aspects of yourself, but that is not something you can influence... at least not easily. What you wanna do is basic emotional labour. Release some emotional pain, do some crying, have a few panic attacks, scream a bit into a pillow. Release the emotions that are behind this phenomenon. You can look at it from belief-stand point. There is an underlying belief causing you to behave in such manner. Might be I am not good enough. I am worthless I am a potato and potatoes grow only on trees that are special. You can examine this belief, by doing some questioning. The problem is, that "beliefs" are hard wired in your nervous system. That is where emotional labour kicks in. Releasing a negative belief is painful. As you release more and more trauma, you gain more clarity, and you stop behaving in such an idiotic non-conformist manner. Emotional release is a chapter within of itself, but it is the one and most important ground-work you've got to do in terms of self-actualization or enlightenment work. Techniques I like Pranic or abdominal breathing Mindfulness Elliot Hulse has some great techniques how to work with your body to release trauma, check that out. And do more research, Im getting a great book about this shit, its supposed to arrive on Thursday. The Yellow Flash of the Leaf is out.

@Aamir King you give way too many fucks. Maybe Ill summon some effort and give you a longer a answer.

@Aamir King dude chill

@Aamir King Happiness, contentment, fulfillment, awakening, end of your path, start of your journey? Confidence, love, acceptance, one-ness, joy? Or nowhere, because every there is extraordinary and infinite, with another infinity beyond.

@Aamir King Oh nothing it certainly seems like a step on your evolutionary process. I only pointed out a certain aspect you might not have been aware of,which should benefit you in terms of "getting there faster" (if you have a there :-) ).

@Aamir King You seem to be doing this out of insecurity. If this is your way of overcoming it, so be it, it can certainly work. Know this though. There is no such thing as an authentic role. Role is a role. Role is putting life into a box. Role is catching water with a net.

@Aamir King Then pardon my curiosity but how is "Being the weird guy who is doing personal development whom everyone laughs at." not just another role?

you're my hero

@Aamir King Have You watched the last video? If not it is only 20 minutes and you should benefit.

@carlos flores @John Flores related?

@Guivs Yeah well... I am not gonna say much but know that words tell a lot about our subconscious. May be a little pointer for you.

Hehehe... he said "69"... hehehe... get it? like... 69?? wink... hehehe

What you cal "Enlightenment" is actually ego-repression and escapism. Don't fucking do that. Enlightenment is not a "way out". =D Don't be retarded bro.

@BeginnerActualizer Im gonna bring in a little knaawledge that I accumulated about the energy in your body, emotions and chakra system. Base line is this. Whenever you feel continuous lasting dystatisfaction, your emotional system is out of wack. You have repressed trauma stored in your body. You can look at it as mood being amost physiological rather than "mental" (whatever that would mean). Mood is a biological addiction in your body. Why? You have experienced trauma in your past, situations that were emotionally distressing, but you didn't allow yourself to express the emotion properly. It got stored within your nervous system, and blocked the energy flow which would bring clarity, and underlying happiness that comes with being aligned with reality. Emotionally and energetically you are living a fragment of what you're capable of as a human being. Bring in the chakra system. What you wanna focus here on is the first 4 chakras - starting from the top - heart - solar plexus - sacral - root Once you cleanse all of those, not only you gain clarity, but you will as well gain the ability to integrate your "lower-self" (which you can see as the manifestation of the energy of the first 3 chakras) into enlightenment work and wisdom. How - not that complex really, the hard part is sticking with it because it is a lenghty process. Use the following techniques: - Pranic/Abdominal breathing - talking therapy - mindfulness meditation - emotional release techniques, from body-work to yoga, exercise >> remember, always have the intention to release trauma, and the right technique will come to you in time what is the saying.... "teacher comes, when student is ready"?? something like that =D. This is just a quick summary, do more research on this, watch Leo's videos on emotions and EQ, read up on chakras and emotional repression, there is some great stuff out there, recently I posted on this forum a topic with a video "Shadow-work meets biology", look it up. Remember, your base-line is contentment. Our bodies are hard-wired for bliss. Shit just got in the way.

It's already leading to catharsis of mankind

This is something that's been on my mind for too long. Can one actually live a trauma free childhood in today's western culture? If not absolutely trauma-free, how to minimalize the damage? My opinion: A child can live trauma free childhood to an extent. Parents can provide nurturing relationship that is completely de-traumatized, if they do their work, and release their baggage, they won't be passing onto any emotional left-overs. However, parents aren't the only influencer, you still have cultural environment that is toxic within of itself. Parents can reduce the "damage" culture does, but can they stop it completely? I do not think so. - very wise would be teaching the child to process emotions properly through correct breathing and teach it basics of meditation when it reaches a certain age (we talkin about 13yo...?) What is your take on this dear actualizers?! :-) PS: If you got books or resources on this, gimme gimme gimme

@Whywolf u gotta puke! Nah jk although there is something to it. I mean... be mindful of it, release it, use abdominal or pranic breathing, and do from time to time this exercise https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNCuM08nZss and you're good The reason I mentioned puking is because as my root chakra gets cleansed your whole digestive system gets thrown out of wack. I haven't eaten properly for days. Meditate, and be brutally self-honest. You gotta be willing. In complete honesty you are hanging onto that emotion only because you want to, and if you think you don't want to, then you gotta start being brutally honest with yourself and let go of many attachments that are just covering up your demons. also follow your intuition, your higher self kinda knows what's up.

@Richard Alpert So I've been clearing out a lot of emotions in my root chakra, and I started puking a lot today. Remembered Martin Ball :D.