Martin123

@SgtPepper wait you said you dont even have one Woops that was a fail :DDDDDD But hey... Im obviously intuiting your future self and talking to that...

@SgtPepper OH my god thank you You are so nice, it feels really good having someone express empathy and compassion! Ive found to be one of the things that are very therapeutic for this condition, is being able to talk about it bringing more self-importance into my subconscious mind. You have a child? Well darn there is a child blessed with a beautiful parent! I am so psyched for your family. I can tell from energy you put out here and the words you say about intimacy that you guys seem to be set for success and happiness! Lots of love <3.

Also now when I think about it, I wouldnt necessary see my jealousy of my partner being conquered by other men as the issue. Jealousy is just my nervous system detoxing from a repressed emotion that is being relaesed and healed, making space for more expansion so those feelings are all good (Its hell btw, not making light of it). I would particularly not resonate with the lack of commitment from my partner's side. If I am in a relationship, which I haven't been in for quite a while, I desire commitment, and not only my commitment to her, but equal commitment from her matching my own, otherwise it will be unbalanced and it wouldn't work well.

@Truth I love Bo, when I was in highschool I found "What" on youtube while I was supposed to be studying for a biology test. It was like 1am, needless to say, I did not study

Funny you mention that. Right now I am actually resolving a very very deep jealous bone thats been wired into my nervous system by my mother. My mom never really made me feel like I mattered to her, she sure tried to pretend a lot, so she wouldnt look bad, but what she said was love for me, was actually very consistant manipulation only regarding her own image of herself. The jealousy would sometimes run so deep, that when I was in my first year of uni, and one of my erasmus dorm neighbours who by the way I had never even met, brought a guy to her dorm at night and started having really loud sex, it made me somehow feel as if I was being betrayed by that. At the time it really confused me because I wasnt yet aware of the full impact of what my mother had put me through. I am grateful that I get to move beyond this now, it has been an incredibly painful experience. And of course bless my moms heart, she to this day has no idea what she is doing, which doesnt mean I will tolerate her manipulation. This happens a lot these days, I just randomly comment on posts that I feel resonance with, and it reflects the deep healing process that I am resolving within myself. Funny how the universe works.

@Leo Kaminski I think your intuition is pretty on point. Polygamy is in other words nothing more than a fear of commitment, if you commit to one person they have more potential of hurting you and breaking your heart apart. How convenient that you sleep with other girls covering up a deep sense of insecurity by shallow stimulation and validation. At the same time gotta give it to him, sounds like lots of fun.

@MarkusSweden thanks! It’s actually not relevant anymore. Nowadays its @MarkusSweden Btw I thought you left the forum long time ago! Welcome back! You were always really funny with your posts

And isnt that the greatest tragedy. For every master produced, thousands of hungry students emerge. Its pretty odd isnt it? Yes or no?

Oh gosh I gotta say, I have nothing against the SadGuru... after all he is sad, and sad people deserve nothing but empathy and love. But I have always had a very strong sense of him getting really high off of his devotees and followers, portraying himself as some sort of a SuperSaint. And I gotta say a part of me is relieved that theres people being aware of this backing up this feeling.

@SoonHei Youre welcome! :-)

@SoonHei Well there can be a part of you that really wants weed. And you can say to that part of yourself, I know, im so sorry, but I cant give that to you its not good for you, but I am going to love you because that is what you truly deserve.

Yes, absolutely! This is so cool I am actually struggling with my addictions right now as well! Let me share what Ive realized. The addiction, for me its video games, it can be weed as you mentioned, alcohol, sex, drugs, relationships, success pursuit etc., is actually what your inner child, or the emotional patterns within you developed as a substitution for love. And the hardest thing, that we eventually get right, is allowing all those cravings come up, and giving all those parts of you who crave the love they truly desire. They dont know that they desire love underneath it all, because it was never really given to them in the past, and so at first they cant really accept it because theyre not too familiar with it.

@SoonHei Of course! haha Let me describe what this whole party is about. There are deep emotional wounds within our being, that are pilled up and create a very strong energetic momentum, this momentum is often called an ego. There comes a point, where this momentum reaches a certain peak or stage of its evolution, and starts collapsing onto itself. As the momentum collapses the stored pain emotional underneath starts being processed, and really big emotional upheavels become a part of our experience. And eventually as the momentum is decreasing and collapsing you often find yourself in states of really profound apathy, depression, meaninglessness, total and absolute existential boredom, confusion, frustration and loneliness. All these states are the symptoms of the ego-momentum being released out of your system, and during a period of time your system reorients itself and recharges into authentic inspiration, relief and safety of your true divine nature. So really the meaninglessness is a symptom where your ego is being rehabilitated into more alignment. Does this make sense? :-)

@SoonHei I didnt! It ate me alive, again and again and again. Just to be clear, what I meant is enormous amounts of emotional trauma resurfacing.

@MM1988 Hey! Well from what its worth the "dark side" happened to me without meditation or psychedelics...

I dont know if you guys noticed but eventhough we might be all one consciousness, but last time I looked I had an individualised perception from all of you. Its not like when you awaken you suddenly become a part of everyone elses perception. Everyone is you, and yet they seem to have their own individual free will and perspective. Well Ill be damned! Thats a soul!

@Athena It is true, I find myself very fortunate beign able to be very aware so young. At the same time, I have always been very "awake" from a young age. It was an insane torture in a family like mine. It devastated me completely, although nothing can stop me from putting all the pieces back together. We see things the way we do for a reason. Maybe the things you didnt know before were that way only to set you up for a bigger transformation coming your way, acting as a catalyst! If we were born with all the knowledge and insticts of the universe, there would be no transformational journey, yet taht is exactly what we are here for isnt it?!

@SFRL Totally! Ive been taught that everything happens in 5 or 7 year cycles so now when I think about it.... 1-7 I was taking in all the conditioning of my family just stumbling through kidergarten being freaked out by everyones emotions, 8-14 primary school and the start of HS, was a strange but somehow a comforting experience 15-22... oh shit here it stops making sense... OK Im gonna figure it out in a different way 1-5 kindergarten, just soaking in the environment 6-10 - taking in all of my family trauma, being very much conditioned 11-15 - moving into adolescent friendships and relationships, that was a weird phase where I really started feeling how different Im from others 16-20 - My initiation into awakening, where I went through difficult emotional upheavels, heartbreaks, anxieties, I had a several leg injuries during that time LOL =D Thats actually funny I never realized that... during this time I injured my leg to a point where I couldnt walk properly like 3 or 4 times. Also a lot of stress from school during this age, and addictions being quite real. OOh during this period I was also drinking quite a bit! And 21-23, till this day, going through a massive kundalini awakening...Which would make this phase end at the age of 25! Well that's gonna be interesting!

@blazed thank you! Yeah I don’t think it’s that big of a deal with games for me. I don’t play much, but last time I got really excited about a game I gave it a shot and it was awesome (it was divinity 2, oh how fun, I literally binged it and had a blast the entire time.) What is something I could be mindful of is my YouTube consumption. I watch all kinds of stuff just out of total lack of things to do. I think those are real great points you mentioned towards the end!

@blazed well thank you for honouring the differences between us. I think your opinion is valid and helpful. Btw I actually do think I could totally benefit from cutting down some of my YouTube time, and I mentioned some rather extreme solutions because you were so passionate about the topic, all the points you included made a lot of sense actually!

@blazed Oh im so sorry you think that. I was actually being sincere. If you think there is some sort of advice you could give me and help I could benefit form I am totally for it and would love that. I did not mean to disrespect you in any way. I actually quite appreciated the comment you posted.

Oh my goodness man thanks for looking out for me. Its true! It is an ungrounding experience that slows down the inner kundalini transformation because its too much for the consciousness to handle! So what do you think I should do?!!!!!! Should I sell my laptop? Or block twitch and youtube, and use my (oh this breaks my heart, I have actually a brand new gaming laptop) computer for school only? I mean That is such a shame, its like using your ferari for garbage disposal! So do you think I have a problem? I look at gaming videos for entertainment! And obviously you seem knowledgeable and all which I honor and respect. What is your opinion?!

@SelfHelpGuy i think its an awesome idea. you dont have to worry about people wasting their time. Peoples procrastination on things like that isnt caused by the streamer or entertainer itself. If you werent there, they would easily find someone or something else to fulfill that role. If its your passion, that s awesome! I used to be a big gamer when I was growing up. Not as much anymore as Ive gone through 3 years of grueling awakening experiences, but it can still be fun! Entertainment isnt evil or wrong, its fine! Its awesome, its beautiful and enjoyable! <3

@isabel hey actually you often experience reintegration of your uncoscnious emotional baggage in your sleep. You can often wake up and be mad, pissed or totally sad and depressed. That’s ok, it’s just a symptom of all the integration that’s already happened. There is no reason to worry about it or try to fix it at all. You can literally go from an enlightened master of the holy land of allumination blessing all humans with your immaculate presence in the evening, to a hurt five year old who demands his birthday cake to be chocolate instead of strawberry in the morning! It’s pretty fun

@niko ev This what he said! What youre describing are symptoms of ungroundedness, which can often happen as a byproduct of excessive meditation. Just to add onto the list of all the things you can do to ground, what works very well for me sometimes is Yoga.