Martin123

ASCENSION BOYYYYYYYYY I didnt even read the post I apologise deeply, but I just had to say that ASCENSION is coming boys and girls, buckle up its gonna be a ride.

Hey! Yeah Gee I didnt even properly think of this type of dynamic, I mean thats a story that deserves a twenty book saga to have written about it. If you have any experience with a narcissistic mother that youre comfortable sharing youre more than welcome to contribute to what Ive written. In my experience, narcissism isnt actually the disease that plagues my mother, but I can imagine how insanely painful it must be recovering from that dynamic. If that is your story, you have all my love and empathy. <3

@Ingit Also very good point, once youre taking care for someone elses needs without them asking first, it almost feels disrespectful towards them, taking away their opportunity to really ask you if they need something, am I making sense? :-)

@Ingit Hey man, I feel you, I can see myself in this. I will tell you what I needed to hear. This is the rescuer archetype. The premise that we are conditioned into is that when you take care of someone elses needs first, then they will be ok enough to return the favour so your needs are met equally. Now you might have experienced this already, where you go to so many lengths to do something for another, and you end up being disappointed whilst they turn their back to you when it is your turn to receive. I hope this sounds familiar. Its a really painful condition btw I cant express enough empathy for this, I know what it takes to outgrow it its pretty brutalissimo, but I encourage you to start putting yourself first and doing acts of self-care, which to your ego will seem absolutely nonsensical when noone elses needs are involved. But doing this JUST for yourself, without anyone else included, only for your own wellbeing is what transforms this in time. Best of luck <3 .

Well can you be there as a firm support for her emotional outburst without reacting? Thats the masculine role in the relationship, to be grounded within yourself enough to be able to hold space.

Yeah! Certainly not abandon them, but just put them aside if you desire a connection with your girl. Because your likes and dislikes are acting as a wall between the two of you. And you will be surprised, the moment you can put your likes and dislikes aside, and allow her to feel safe in your presence, how different you both will feel. And I know this isnt the same because its a romantic relationship, but just to demonstrate an example. When a parent doesnt like how a child is acting and starts pushing forth their agenda, the child doesnt feel very supported and free, and it often acts even in a more "undesirable" way, because it feels its being restricted. Kinda like trying to cage a wild animal. Allow your girlfriend to be as she is, allow her to flower in her own innocent way, theres nothing wrong with the way she acts and perceives, she is just true to her experience.

@Ar_Senses And also in more blunt terms, it could be helpful to start making it all about her, while putting yourself aside, and just leaving space for her to express whatever she likes. Because you see you really gotta learn to step out of your own ego if you wanna connect with another. Not as a way of abandonment, but as a way of creating space around your self/ego, that she can enter freely.

Thats it right there you have found the issue, bingo. You are two individuals with different experiences in life, with two very different perspectives. And you are in conflict, because as you have stated your girlfriend thinks she is right. And in her own point of view, she is. In your own point of view, you also seem to be right, or there is a desire to be. And yes, your point of view is right. The solution to that is the acknowledgment of the truth behind each point of view. You can still honor your beliefs, experiences and point of view, while acknowledging hers. It doesnt have to be a conflict of My Truth vs Your Truth, but it can be a discussion, oh I see it in a different way, thank you for enriching me in your point of view. It doesnt mean you have to abandon all you hold dear, or follow exclusively what she likes. The power of acknowledging of the opinion of the other person is the first step into empathy with your partner, which allows for a deeper emotional connection. Once there is empathy, there is trust, once there is trust, she might find herself even feeling much safer with you sexually. So instead of seeing it as a game of right vs. wrong, how about it became a dance of mutual acknowledgement, respect and connection. Not Me VS. you, but I share my point of view, and I equally so allow you to share yours, with respect, and no need to persuade you about mine.

@Prabhaker WOw thats pretty beautiful and profound. Ive never been a big fan of Oshos, but this what you shared right there, thank you :-)

Oh it just felt obvious. After you heal a lot of the debris in the body, you become more sensitive and can feel really clearly where is who at. I love sometimes meeting empaths without saying anything and making eye contact it’s like you look at them, and they look at you, and you know that they know that you know that they know:D and it’s like a telepathic yep, I see you, gotcha, you are badass like me. It’s a telepathic highfive! Also you’re really polite and your signature gave out a lot ❤️ I am so glad that I helped you out, I love that! And awesome swimming that’s really good for you. One of these days I really gotta learn how to swim properly! One of those things that I never really could do as a child.

@phoenix666 yeah, it’s more and more. I feel like it’s a process that’s gonna put me into the body very very soon. Like within weeks/months, able to ground the light into form. And it was actually in a sense not that profound. I say that because I sometimes get this imagery just to get a feel for what my inner child is going through, so it wasn’t too trippy, but most certainly significant. And the books I really recommend. Since you’re an empath, I can tell from personal experience no teachings quite make sense like Matts do. I have to say personally there are very rarely things he shares that don’t resonate with me, because there is a very specific way empaths wake up and transform, and most teachers out there actually can’t relate to our experience because it’s so different. It also makes sense that Matt went through his awakening being guided by spirit guides, because if you as an empath followed a different path of awakening (the ones that are common, like self-realisation and that type of stuff) the awakening would be fragmented. That being said you don’t actually need to follow anyone because the awakening is an unstoppable force that’s gonna devour you piece by piece and say Yumm Yumm ? Because it’s in the dna. Actually to bring it back to being in the body (and I think this can be sort of generalised to all empaths but I specifically had this as such a deep personal dharma, to make peace with being here), we enter the body fully once the dna transforms and nervous system relaxes.

@phoenix666 Btw I wanna mention something funny that came to me as a vision explaining my experience in the evening It was like I was sitting on the edge of heavens gates, looking down and crying my eyes out realising that I am supposed to go down there but I sooo dont wanna, and then I started being moved out and it felt like I was hanging on by my fingers just BEGGING "GOD PLEASE NO NO NOT to earth, anywhere else but not earth :D", and then there was a sensation as if I was falling down, and a lot of fear came up in the body. And today I actually feel like I am being settled into the body more, which is cool.

Well its just an unfortunate term to use in this situation. I tend to be mindful of the language were using because it demonstrates an intention. When you say transcendence it almost feels as if that was an upward movement, like pulling away from the experience, where as the grounding movement is actually moving you towards the experience, towards the suffering, not for it to be transcended but transformed. Can you feel the difference? The way I deal with this is in your signature. And his second book of course (have you read it? Its beautiful and energetically charged). Also its not necessarily an easy way to deal with that. The thing is that I realised I had and have to spend certain amounts of time not being in my body, before I can actually ground completely, and nothing I do can really affect that. We will all ground but when its time for each of us. Actually just yesterday I was completely ungrounded the entire day! And I could do nothing to stop that. It is almost as if the parts of me that dont want to be here need a permission to do whatever they want before they are able to surrender and let go, just like a child doesnt want to listen to a parent who is bossing and pushing it around to do things the child actually doesnt want. Once you have every right to hate being here and not be in the body, you actually develop the capacity to be fully in your body, does that make sense? On the side tho, I remember there was a time when I was freakishly ungrounded and didnt know what to do about it and I needed a quick fix so I could study for my exams, I couldnt even sleep at that point. So I did some grounding yoga, walked barefoot on grass, hung out in nature and that eased the ungroundedness to a degree. It helped the insomnia and I could somewhat focus, so its not like we are completely powereless, there are ways to manage this, but in general grounding into the body is a gradual process because the body needs to heal the emotional trauma before the consciousness can fully enter it. I remember Matt Kahn describing it as having a kind of allergy to the conditioning of the planet, thats why there can be a lot of ungroundedness, desire to "go home", also I am sure youve encountered rather deep self-hating and self-doubting and judging patterns. That is actually your own consciousness reacting to the density you have gathered from the environment. Its like a bad allergy .

@Ingit

I understand the desire to be mindful, and a spiritual significance of it. But at this point it can only act as a way of avoidance. When you use the word "transcend it" oh I so know what you mean, and it is so not gonna work ever I am so sorry to break these news, but oh well I cant express how compassionate I am of this condition. Eversince I was a young child, I have wanted to go home, like BADLY. EVERYTHING I did, and everything I desired, be it craving for relationships, sex (which actually freaked me out kind of because I wasnt in the body), addictions, spiritual pursuits, enlightenment, community, university, success, videogames, everything on the deepest level was just out of the desire to GET the FUCK out of this scary ass planet. There was such a deep deep resistance to the dense energy that I felt in my body around my family and people around me in school that I could NOT deal with that. And at some level it is still a challenge, but now Ive had moments where I dropped down into the body, oh man Ive never experienced this level of depression and Its almost funny when it is the most brutal of reality checks where my consciousness looks at the conditioning going on in other people that I feel inside of me and goes "for real? Like REALLY??? OMG are you SERIOUS? Noooo this has got to be some kind of joke... REALLY?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NONONONONO I refuse to believe this is real. This cant be real right? OH JESUS ARE YOU SAYING THIS IS REAL? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK " And unfortunately this caused me not to be in the body, it was too much for me. And in the past few months I have grounded into the body more than I ever have, suddenly everything feels like its more "real" and more "3D" which is a really weird feeling after my entire life having this weird vague dreamy feeling about reality. And when there is the moment of coming into the body, it is almost as if every instinct inside of me is screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not thiiiis, this is insane, and then there are periods of really deep existential depression, my motivation to do anything disppears and these are moments of some complete and utter defeat, feeling as if I lost a battle that I was begging to win from the moment I was born. And in the moment when my ego goes "oh, this is real, I am really coming down to the body" it can be the most horrifying moment. But it is only a stage that gets cleared out, the density in the body gets transmuted over a period of time by the light of your consciousness and then you can actually function better and more happily, people dont affect me as much as they used to, because I realised I only empath the layers of conditioning of other people, that I havent grounded into just yet, once you ground into them and integrate, it becomes the reality of your souls frequency rather than the insanity of the collective raging in your nervous system. I sincerely hope some of what I wrote makes any sense to you :-) Much love your way man. You got this!

@phoenix666 the biggest service the studying is doing is grounding us into the body. spirituality is a noble pursuit but it makes us ungrounded, and especially as empaths we kind of make see it as a way of finally getting out of this stupidass place ?

@phoenix666 Youre welcome! I can really relate, its like I am kind of jumping with all the kinds of lovely conscious life I am ready to lead, the peoples lives I can touch, the insights and love to share, and then theres schoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool =D. What an irony. School is a great teacher, but it is not because of the lecturers!

@phoenix666 hey man same it sucks I hate it, it’s an awful experience. Studying frustrates me, makes me little desperate and my body’s almost rejecting it. I hate to admit it but it’s the most effective way to buff out the spiritual ego. The emotions you feel is the spiritual ego being dissolved and integrated. So with compassion, just stick with it

@pluto8

funny somehow this meme explains the entire spiritual journey

@Leo Kaminski Thank you youre very kind.

There is actually a really big thing on the spiritual journey, where you cant help but do the things you consider "bad" or the ones you "shouldnt be doing" to do the whole spirituality thing "right". I had that going on for me a lot with addictions, I would stay clear of them for weeks sometimes, and then I would get INSANE cravings, and the thing I was actually clearing was my guilt and judgement about it. You seem to be pretty on point with it, trust your instincts its gonna unfold well for you. :-)

Hi Kate! I wanna start off by saying that I am very sorry for your difficulties in your relationship. When life is trying to wake us up to our inherent value, beauty and grandiose gorgeousness, it often does so by making all the ways we perceive ourselves unsufferable, and that is a deeply painful thing often leading to self-loathing, self-judgement, or self-hate, while exposing the innermost vulnerable and insecure parts of ourselves. I wanna offer you a perspective and approach that you could take that could potentially transform your relationship, and your emotional well being. Every time there is a negative emotion/reaction or thought, it is a sign from your innocent inner self, or inner child that it would like some loving attention from you. Every insecurity is a part of your collective self, asking for recognition to be integrated into the wholeness of your being. And in knowing this, the importance then isnt necessarily what you feel, because all those feelings are just kind of like signs of your inner child going "hey, im heere... I want some attention now please!" The important part is your response to your feelings. What if, to all the negative judgements you have about yourself you responded with taking a few deep breaths, and said "Thank you for sharing your pain with me, I see you and honor you.", Every time you feel insecure you could say to yourself "honey I am so sorry you dont feel safe right now, I want you to know that I love you deeply, and if there is anything else you would like me to do or say, please let me know" Another really obvious and wonderful example is the beauty competitions you participate in with other females, which btw I have to tell you whether you like it or not you already are Miss Universe, and your job is to kind of deal with it. What if you could respond to your tendency to compare yourself with other females with a compliment onto yourself. In ex. "Wow, that woman is so beautiful and is making me insecure about my own looks, what if the only reason she is making me feel insecure is an invitation to compliment myself on my own beauty, and all the things I am doing so wonderfully right in every moment. Hey Kate, I see you, you are gorgeous and amazing and I thank you for being such a wonderful, strong, conscious and aware divine goddess that you have always been. Thank you for radiating the amazing feminine energy that is inherent to your being, you rock sista!" Just a suggestion. :-) Please let me remind you that you are beautiful, and I thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your difficulty on this forum. Being brave enough to ask for guidance in such situations is no easy task and you freaking nailed it!

Have you seen Make Happy? I loved the ending song of that much more than the one of What, it was so emotional and beautiful, it wasnt just about comedy, but he was bringing in his own feelings and challenges with his audience allowing us to know him better. It was sick

Thats real awesome. Thats the real work at hand. Ye sorry for the mistake hahaha. See? There was no mistake, just talking to your future <3