Martin123

@Bill W Oh thanks Bill, it's already been written. It was quite fun. But if you ask me I don't really like talking about mindfulness. Talking and debating about mindfulness is much different from actually being mindful. I am not here to debate anyone, and while it is undoubtedly true that a mindfulness that is divorced from the deeper truths of discernment and cultivation of emotional maturity (that is the actual path to the attainment of wisdom and virtue), I understand where you are coming from and value your opinion and all that you are sharing. As to address your point about calming the monkey mind etc. All that is true (and I wouldn't say they have nothing to do with Buddhism, most mindfulness programs have been originally inspired by Buddhist ideas, mindfulness is not a western idea... that is the one thing I learned from the research), and there is nothing wrong with stress reduction, calming your mind, all that stuff, but at the end of the day, if we can't translate a peace of mind into greater emotional maturity on the level of an individual, and on the level of interpersonal maturity, we are missing out on the opportunity of the spiritual alignment that is here to be experienced by everyone equally (while not at the same time), and as a culture we would crash and burn and end ourselves in our own self-denial and perpetuation of abuse.

@Bill W First of all, that's the essay question. It's not something I would say directly, even though I like that idea in a wider context. The problem is that mindfulness has been taken by materialistically thinking community of academics, and objectified into an idea where it is still operating in a paradigm of reward and punishment, and means-to-an-end. It's like the ego takes mindfulness and starts telling others how great it is while making sure it isn't being transformed by it. Wisdom, compassion and love are natural qualities that are evoked when one is on the path of surrender. If mindfulness is divorced from surrender, it's just another egoic pretense and ground for denial and avoidance.

@Nak Khid That's hilarious. I'm actually writing an essay for my university course. The essay question is as follows: The development of mindfulness must be understood in conjunction with the development of wisdom, compassion and ethics. How do these Buddhist principles relate to how mindfulness is practiced in 20th century Western society? So it's the opposite view of what you are suggesting, looking at mindfulness as it is practiced in the west and realizing its reductionistic view where mindfulness has been stripped of all the Buddhist goodies of spiritual alignment of the qualities of wisdom and virtue, and suggesting the dangers in that. One of such dangers is that people will prescribe mindfulness in situations where there are much more important steps to take, that require discernment, wisdom and ethics. Such as prescribing mindfulness to corporate employees as a stress-reduction exercise, whilst they are being overworked and treated in unethical ways in an environment that is motivated by greed. In other words, the western scientific community has taken mindfulness and objectified it into making it to a tool that serves as means to an end, such as to reduce stress, alleviate emotional difficulties etc. No such things exists in the original Buddhist connotations, mindfulness is a practice of a deeper philosophical way of life rooted in virtuous living and the attainment of ethics , compassion and wisdom. The cultivation of wisdom, virtue and ethics can of course be a subject of a deep therapeutic relationship, but often gets overlooked or not understood properly, especially through the most common therapeutic approaches that are popular with the government as they are symptom oriented, not necessarily solution oriented (like cognitive behavioural therapy). If there is deep emotional maturity to be cultivated in therapy, you also need very emotionally mature therapists, who can be quite rare. With such a therapist, even cognitive behavioural therapy can be useful as it will be used in a space that authentically cultivates compassion and love, instead of distract from it. The problem with this is that the therapeutic approach itself is very simple and can be used in ways that are superficial and very mind-oriented, deterring from deeper emotional cultivation. You can use certain therapeutic models to gaslight people into compliance and deter them from emotional vulnerability.

@Parththakkar12 PS: Maybe not a pet shelter but a human shelter Not that there is anything wrong with that but pet shelter might be too much inside your comfort zone. After all it is people that are most likely triggering the threat of unsafety. You might actually be quite great and content with animals... which is wonderful on one level, and it is something to definitely embrace, but it might be a comfort zone.

I think this is quite normal and natural for someone with an avoidant attachment style. The pick-up culture is based round a population group that hasn't developed enough of an emotional sensitivity and awareness to acknowledge these issues, in other words they actively avoid intimacy and discard feelings of emotional disconnection and unsafety. Couple of points to know, which might help you. Avoidant attachment style is a result of deep emotional neglect, especially around other people. It is rooted in beliefs that say: It is unsafe to rely on others, I don't have enough to give and therefor should look out for myself, Other people are a threat to my safety. These patterns can create a very painful and mind-oriented lifestyle that is based around avoiding feelings altogether. Therefor the way out of this is to turn around and go the other way. - Start getting in touch with your own emotions, what do you feel during the day? What do things make you feel like? - Get in touch with your body as much as possible - do some yoga, mindfulness, breathing, self-love meditation - Try to challenge the beliefs that you don't have enough - start naming and listing things that you do have. In other words - Start a gratitude journal, this will be so helpful. And realize how it makes you feel. And finally, try to be deliberately giving to other people. It doesn't have to be anything big, but can you just go out of your way and give someone a compliment, help someone out, give someone a piece of advice that will really help them. Donate to charity, volunteer at a pet shelter. If you combine this with some socialization, you will challenge the beliefs rooted in neglect and then transform them altogether. You have to start giving first until you arrive at a realization that it is safe to give. That's probably the most certain way to actually feel safe. How could anyone really threaten your emotional safety if you are there to give them support and compliments, they won't be able to. PS: Don't push yourself into physical intimacy if it feels uncomfortable, give it time and address the neglect indirectly.

@DreamScape You're welcome! Much power and love to you.

@DreamScape I also want to share with you something that will give you more confidence and faith into your healing journey. I've known this within myself for a long long time, ever since the beginning of my healing journey, and I know there is a part of you that will resonate with this, and it gives me a great pleasure to share this. Through your evolution, since everything we heal and all dynamics are archetypal on a collective level, you are transmuting and redefining the archetype of what it means to be someone's child. Through your evolution, all children in future generations will receive better upbringing and support from your parents, because you had the courage to start healing at such a young age. You will literally end neglect and abuse just through your willingness to heal, and create a ripple effect on a quantum level that will have long-lasting positive impact for all beings of earth. That's why it is quite exciting! And that is why your courage and determination to yourself and to respecting the emotionally vulnerable innocent child within you are so important. For you, for your family, and for the well-being of humanity.

I know, that is a painful thing. But the fact that they’re not listening is actually helping you to reorient yourself. You can’t make this about your parents. It has to be about you. About what you need to feel supported and safe enough to allow your body to heal incredibly and at an incredible speed. It doesn’t actually have to start with your parents but with asking yourself a question ‘what do I need right now to feel more supported’ maybe you need to feel acknowledged, seen, heard, loved, held, safe. Once this need comes up, ask your inner child if you could be the one who can give it what it needs, and provide the emotional support that’s been withheld from you in the past. From this space where you’re building emotional honesty with yourself you will be able to build enough equity that once you bring this newly emotionally nourished you to your parents, they will have nothing to do but to assimilate themselves to this new version of you, and improve the quality of your relationship. I say this with respect to your parents, but once you transform emotionally, they will have No chance. Their judgements will be done... it may take time, but it will happen.

@DreamScape Don't be afraid to tell your parents how you feel and let them know if they act in ways that are hurtful to you. Such conversations might not be popular with them, but through following through on what you feel and need emotionally, just through the grace of honest communication with your parents, you will see transformation happening for you and for your family as well. You have a wonderful opportunity to transform your family, but not in a direct way, nor through any way you'd wish to change them. But through the power of vulnerability and communication. Through statements such as 'You know mom when you say that that's actually pretty hurtful and makes me feel horrible.', if that statement isn't very popular with your parents, and they accuse you of things like 'talking back' or 'being rude' and 'being ungrateful', know that that's just their ego being defensive and their shame acting out. But don't be afraid to stand your ground and do what's best for you. The good news is, that most of what your kundalini energy brings up is in some way going to be related to your parents and to the dynamic you have with them. Therefor healthy communication will not only transform your family, but assist your kundalini awakening in the bests way possible. Your healing will be their healing, they just probably haven't gotten on board yet, and that's okay. Being 17 and going through an awakening puts you in a very unusual position, where you are transforming the karma and the density for the people who you are dependent on financially and physically. Embrace this. It can get messy, it can get weird, and it will get chaotic, but know that it can only be for the awakening of consciousness and the transformation of your lineage. Good luck. PS: I had a Kundalini awakening just out of highschool and am still healing (now in my 4th year of university) while still being a very much integral part of my family and being dependent financially, but the relationships in our family have never been better. It can still sometimes get uncomfortable when I have to stand up for myself and put a boundary against my parents (I come from a narcisssistic family so there's no easy way to do this), but it always leads to healing. By the way a part of me is very excited to see someone going through a similar thing I have been going through. I feel much less alone

@Hello from Russia Learn about attachment theory, learn about your own attachment style and your partners, find out what your needs are and what your partners needs are, determine where they are harmonious with each other, and where they are conflicted, and work on the resolution. Perhaps the best attachment resource out there - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHQ4lSaKRap5HyrpitrTOhQ

@Good-boy My faavee... but I say that about most of his videos, but it's always true, it's always my fave when it first comes out

@Alex bliss There is a knowing that is a different type of knowing than your ego recognizing information. Sometimes it can be confusing and the ego takes ownership and makes things up just to make itself more interesting... to be a spiritual ego. But with that type of knowing, you just know, once you experience it you cannot doubt it. It's an inner, intuitive type of knowing, not a logical conclusion or a rationalization of any kind.

@actualizing25 Contemplation is a doorway into opening you up to a deeper ability to embrace your own feelings, perceptions and desires. It is as if through an asking of a question, you unlock the door to the hidden mysteries of you, that are ready to be felt and unraveled. If you are tired of contemplation it is a sign that you are at a stage where contemplating and asking questions will mostly distract you. What you might want to embrace more of is feeling your way through life. Evaluate every moment of your day based on your feelings. Does this feel good? Wonderful. Does this feel not so good? Well now we're getting somewhere. Are you willing to explore the deeper message of the negative emotion, that is either saying 'the situation I am in might need some consideration as per the feeling signifying that this might not be good for me', or it is simply a moment of healing, where an unresolved emotion from your past that wasn't felt fully is resurfacing. In such moments it is pivotal to decode the message of your feelings. Are your feelings asking you to take action to make a change, or are your feelings calling your attention because they are allowing you to step into more alignment with self love as a way of opening your heart, and relaxing your body?

The pleasure is mine!

@Preety_India Just found this thread, good for you! I am so exhilarated that you realized what you're worth and dumped his toxic ass (sorry not sorry for the harshness ). Abusive individuals are very difficult to deal with for someone like you who's sensitive and is most likely willing to give everyone a chance just because you don't want to be harsh, critical, judgemental and have general faith in the innate goodness of people. That's not wrong at all, but it is so wonderful seeing you find your way into the discernment that while there is goodness in all, in many individuals it's not quite ripe and you are much better off being with yourself or someone who can honor the light within you just as much as you honor the light within them. So awesome, totally cheered me up.

There is no S(h)elf

@khalifa Whether it is, or it is not kundalini is not important (that being said, it is kundalini). It's not like you have a choice here. You don't have any other option than to surrender to it and befriend it. If you don't befriend it, it will only get worse, to get even more of your attention and make your life even more confusing. It's your emotional wounds waking up from lifetimes of slumber, it's cycles of denial ending, and the more you fight it, the more momentum it will gather to eventually force you to surrender to something dramatic. There's no need for that. The dark and difficult stages can be experienced at a much quicker pace when you learn to harmonize with it. You are perceiving it as your enemy, maybe there is not need for that at all. Nothing is your enemy, everything is here to expand your life, maybe not for instant gratification, but ultimately for good.

Actually there is no end to kundalini awakening. There is something called integration that makes it wonderful to be alive, but the process only morphes from purging darkness into embodying more love.

@bejapuskas Hey, good point, you're completely right, good left-right brain balance is helpful in all professions, but if the left brain is being used as a way of suppressing the right brain, then it's common that the ways in which the suppression is taking place need to take a little vacation from being there at all so the whole nervous system can reset into a more harmonious and balanced state. The OP is clearly on his way to embracing unity, love, consciousness, emotional freedom and harmony. You can't use your right brain to get to your left brain, you have to put your right brain on pause and allow the feminine emotional principle weep and rage against a lifetime of suppression by the masculine. It's the same thing why people who are emotionally purging complain when people (classic scenario is men in this case) start trying to fix their problem instead of just listening and holding space.

@LucyKid If I may chip in, I found a post of yours about your abusive father, which by the way I am deeply sorry about, I know what it's like to grow up with a narcissistic abusive parent and it truly is no treat, and the courage required to heal from that is indeed great. It's a form of PTSD. What I hear you saying is that you may be feeling like Maths and CS are holding you back. I can clarify your dilemma for you. You've gone through incredibly toxic masculine conditioning, judging from the situation you described in the post about your dad. When someone goes through something like this, it's like the feminine part of your nervous system (the creative, artistic, emotional and intuitive one) gets completely dominated by the unsafety and protection from the constant threat that was your family. Then you take interest in these really "masculine" and by that I mean highly analytical and problem-solving oriented activities. There is nothing wrong with them, but they are actually a form of coping-mechanism that keeps you safe from the PTSD within your nervous system. Your feeling and intuition that it's somehow combating your spiritual interests, which in your case would most likely need to be a very feminine exploration, is actually correct. It's not even that you have to quit CS and Maths, it's that once you open up to the hurt inside, you will start losing interest, and it might become virtually impossible to continue for a period of time. So maybe I am just here to prepare you, that if that happens, that's okay. That's by design.

@Zigzag Idiot Hey Look at that, last night's prayer circle got uploaded! I sobbed a lot, it was just so awesome.

An extraordinary example of embodying the light of our consciousness within our bodies by healing all the trauma and damage done to the inherent innocence dwelling in our bodies. Her story is amazing, her message and transmission of consciousness are exceptional. This is the way for all those who wish to be healed by their surrender.

@Rebec OH I love Kyle! He's so lovely and sensitive and gentle, incredible man with great messages to deliver to hungry audiences at this time.

I know... I am deeply sorry for your majestic and incredible gifts of royal empathy, compassion, openness and the glory of your open heart. I think there are many people that will agree with what you say here, the people who are too afraid of you shining of your light so brightly that it would transform all... but if you choose to agree with them, that's okay, after all the world doesn't need such bright shining lights like you... or does it? I will let you decide majestic one.

@zeroISinfinity Maybe you can't find a job because the universe inside of you is screaming at you that you are special and made for greatness, and it won't let you do much with your life until you accept that reality that is intimidating to your ego.