Adrian colby

@Keryo Koffa my utopia is individual and self created/ experienced from the way I hold perspectives( multiple simultaneously as it may be). If someone on the same wavelength comes along or not, it doesn’t matter. my marriage has already turned into something profound and both my wife and I are still wiping our jaws off the floor 😁 it would of course be beautiful if everyone could have this but I’ve also learned it’s not my place to push that on anyone. I may in fact be removing someone’s catalyst for genuine growth at a time when they really need to experience their difficulties. If I hadn’t gone through the shit… I would never have been able to know this by contrast (something vs nothing)

@Ampresus we all have differing preferences and ways of being authentic to our true selves as unique human personalities. Personally I have been going through this too where I hard a sexual awakening that showed me I wasn’t a trustworthy partner but I was actually just suppressing my sexuality because of previous bad experiences. When I finally regained my self confidence and self love, the thing that felt most natural and authentic to me was loving unconditionally. Not needing or wanting or possessing anyone but allowing their coming and going from my personal space and life to have beautiful and intimate moments of connection. No expectations or presumed outcomes. No seeking fulfilment in others because I was already generating ecstatic states in myself. the problem I encountered was that I was already married and had already gone into a relationship under a joined agreement. To follow this realisation about my ‘polyamory’ I would be breaking an agreement and like you, I love my wife and so I would never lie to her or do anything that she was not ok with. I have no desire to add people to our relationship. She is the top of the pecking order and the only one I choose to share the mundane day to day experience of life with and she will never be replaced. If she leaves me or she dies, that is it for me. My decision is final and there will be no more relationships. my polyamory is about my expansion into unconditional love. It’s not about promiscuous sex for self satisfaction. It’s about allowing and accepting beautiful and loving moments of connection with other people without possessing them or expecting them to do or be anything. It’s just that, an exchange of energy, a connection and experience called for in a moment because it’s an expression of love. That doesn’t mean it has to be sex( sex is one of the manifestations but it’s not a necessity). I love it and feel no guilt, shame or regret but absolute gratitude for the experience with that person. I’ve always said that I would apologise for descending into hate but I will never apologise for loving. I could argue that my wife saying no is a form of control and possessiveness but we need to remember that she entered the relationship under the agreement of exclusivity so she is not being unfair. I have changed into a less limited mindset about my sexuality in the interim. She understands where I am coming from ( how it unfolded was deeply profound and mystical full of ‘coincidences’ that were hard to believe) and see has watched it and experienced some of it for herself. My change in energy has healed her sexual suppression too but not her limitation within the relationship. She says she may or may not be ok with it in the future but she is not there now. I have a responsibility for my choices and their consequences and prioritising what is truly important to me. If I claim to be highly conscious and my wife has started going through the awakening process( completely unexpected but triggere by my own sexual awakening) then she is in a vulnerable state and needs to trust me. I have to curtail my own experience to be that for her if I want what’s in her best interest and if I want to maintain my marriage with her. Yes deep down it was a mistake to get married and stuck permanently with another person cutting off all other experience but I have been catalysed and presented with many lessons in this relationship that have ultimately grown me as a person. Creating that limitation is what causes the challenges and adversity to overcome and to grow from. Understanding that is crucial for living life fulfillingly and not being victimised by it. I know within myself I have the potential to love many people and I do feel it genuinely towards others. There are many angels out there but she is my archangel. What I would be careful with in that scenario is having experiences with other people who were not at that level and potentially I would be causing emotional hurt to them if they were seeking something in me to fulfill them, if they attached an importance to me or identified me as their want or posession in any way. Coming and going from that experience with them with gratitude for the beauty of it and them, would be one sided and leave them not with gratitude but with guilt, shame and regret so I would be very careful with using clear and agreed ground rules. You have to communicate clearly and honestly about who and what you are, what your expectations are, what you are and are not willing to do. Being aware and conscious means not doing something for your own satisfaction. You have to learn to harmonise and balance in interactions with others. You could potentially Leave another person with serious emotional damage or even a permanent psychological trauma if you are just out to satisfy yourself. But I get it. I have shifted into an open unconditionalness where essentially whoever is making a meaningful and loving connection with me is allowed into my intimate space. That is what feels normal and natural to me. That is what liberates me. When I think of suppressing g that it feels like shutting off part of my soul or part of my being. Polyamorous in its generic understanding of the word doesn’t really describe what I’ve opened up to. It’s much deeper and more profound than that. It’s almost an acceptance of other people in living harmony compared to the shutting them off and out and feeling nothing for humanity before this point. I wouldn’t even limit it to women, I’d be open to men as well although I identify and preference being heterosexual. I used to be suppressed and rejecting almost hateful of women. I was toxically masculine, trying to irradicate everything femanine within myself to the point that it disgusted me. I’ve healed a bucket load of trauma, seen the absolute and now living life again as the old limitations are being shed away like restrictive skin. Now I absolutely love and adore the idea and reality of woman and enjoy the ecstacy of their beauty and divinity. I’d almost go so far as to say I have formed a new personality that appreciates and worships women and that it is a decision I have made and preference and perspective from which to experience life. I’m aware of the dualistic collapse of the idea of men and women at the spiritual level but I’m also aware of the energy dynamic of the mental mechanism that is the masculine and femanine force of the universes first movement from nothing to something. The alpha and omega. To play my part as the male and to understand and work in harmony with the female. Not bending it to my will but loving it unconditionally as it is for what it is. Beautiful and perfect in all its imperfection and limitation. as a human it is a struggle not to get the experiences one wants but life has a way that is unforlding that ultimately grows me and fulfills me no matter what happens. Moving into being ok and at peace generated from within is one way of describing the enlightenment of limitations or at least coping with them in a way they are allowed to just be, and enjoyed.

What I whittle all that above, down to is, confidence and self love. When it is healed within you, it radiates and becomes attractive. If you focus on something external like ‘attracting women’ you are drawing away your focus on being ok within yourself, by yourself, for yourself as a totality without anything else. You can generate that feeling at any time.( managing sexual energy efficiently, not suppressing it) You can use the interactions you have with people to monitor and identify the points at which your focus is externalising instead of watching what your own mind is doing. When you are setting up a possible relationship or interaction with a woman, watch what you do, how she reacts and how you feel and react to her reactions. As I laid out the process of ‘projection and blame’ in an interaction that doesn’t result in an expected outcome, you can see how it turns into feelings of inadequacy and self loathing ( this sabotages any future relationships or potential if it becomes a repeated habit or hardwired into the belief of your personality that this is who you are!) for example. I want sex, I want to be desired by this beautiful woman in front of me. She’s friendly, alluring and somewhat interested testing the waters to see if I’m fit for an experience. I drop out of my confidence for a second and she picks up on that because I’ve put too much importance on the outcome of this interaction being positive to satisfy my urges and the fantasies I’m now playing through my head can be read all over my body and energy as an expectation grasping at her( seeking and pulling energy away from her, taking,) . She pulls away from the interaction just a bit and I react to that feeling a rejection, feeling hurt that she is not providing me with what I want. Frustration turns to resistance and clenching/pain and I shut down my heart and project anger at her mistaking her for being the cause of the pain when it is really me.… and then the negative thoughts flood in: why won’t she desire me, why won’t she love me or give me attention or affection. Then the projection, blame and criticising thoughts flood in: she must be cold, heartless, abused in the past, a difficult woman with unrealistic expectations, high maintenance, a bad person!. I eventually set off an air of desperation that reduces me to a snivelling, pleading and juvenile little boy with no confidence or integrity. To her that is pathetic and so unattractive and repulsive. to me, I’ve placed myself into a victim mentality that automatically pushes her away which is the exact opposite of what I want to experience yet I’m oblivious to the fact that none of this was her doing. It was all my own lack of self awareness, separation and sabotage caused by fear, grasping, attachment, self defence when there really was no threat. If I maintain this trajectory I will probably end up as a woman hating and emotionally shut off recluse who is lonely and depressed. I venture into toxic masculinity by rejecting everything that is feminine including the parts of myself that are feminine( my emotion, intuition, expression and ability to accept and receive love) this is a stark contrast to what I realised as the opposite. Sexual energy is just that. A powerful force or motion that wells up inside me. It can be triggered by another persons interaction with me or I can trigger it myself with my own thoughts and fantasies about a person or even further… beautiful thoughts and affirmations about myself!( be aware that this is not narcissistic. It has nothing to do with being better or contrasting yourself to others. It is about allowing yourself to love yourself again and heal from all those negative self beliefs that limit your potential as a creator) . It’s all just an induction to get it going, get it moving but it is completely up to me and my responsibility how I manage master and direct that energy in the most efficient way so as not to suppress, block or cause resistance( stuck energy, stagnation, festering or potential illness that manifests as possible inflammation somewhere in the body) If I go into the interaction with this woman having already come into a state of self fulfilment, confidence and contentment, I am already giving off a strong confident, calm, sensual and balanced energy that feels safe and protective to her( that is what women describe as masculine, nothing to do with your appearance of how you confront to the social construct associated with the term ‘man’) . My behaviour is flirtatious and playfully seductive but respectful. This is another being ( or the same being as myself that I have and open heart and unconditional love for) they do not need to do or be anything but what they are and they are loved for it, as it is in that moment. I do not have any doubts creeping in like guilt, shame, potential regrets or anxiety/worry so there is no pulling back or fear that would cause my behaviour to become unpredictable and therefor as a confident and self assured person I create a space of safety for her to be in that energy so she can fully surrender to it and enjoy it. I create no thoughts or expectations because I’m already in an ecstatic state so there is no attachment or importance on how this interaction goes. We could just talk all night, kiss, get intimate or just dance. The moment and the experience of all those little things are equally enjoyed and let go with gratitude. I am at peace no matter what and she sees that as strength and integrity. That is attractive, sexy and desirable. I don’t care what people think of me so I become unique and authentically my best version of me. Something rare and desired by others. Something beautiful and comfortable to be around. If this is the way I am consistently every time she is with me then it could turn into a relationship ( I am fit for beautiful experiences with no expectation) If not and it’s just a once off interaction, it is not about sex anymore but a genuine and loving connection with that other person ( or the universe loving itself/not coercing itself for personal satisfaction) then it’s ok, it’s unconditional. If she stays or walks away, it cannot hurt me. I’m already in love with life, myself and the experience of the moment. Feeling and enjoying the beauty of that other person and knowing that they are feeling desired themselves because I’m already satisfied and giving, not taking or seeking anything in them. I don’t feel lack if she doesn’t reciprocate. Giving off that energy is deeply attractive to others but you have to be careful that the other person is not also placing importance or expectation on you. ( needing to be needed or a one sided seeking of codependency, this romantic notion of ‘can’t’ live without you and can’t stand on your own two feet is a damaging conditioning set by our culture) A truly loving connection with someone means they too are at peace with themselves. You have to really be at peace with yourself and completely unconditionally loving towards someone in your life who is struggling with this. Even if it means letting them be as they are for the rest of your life going nowhere.( that is if you want to take responsibility for initiating to saving of a relationship or marriage by working on yourself first and ‘being’ the space they need to heal. They may or may not get there but a shift will happen in them when they feel safe. A shift will happen when they are in and around your energy and start to heal themselves) it does take a lot of vigilance and mental strength and discipline to get yourself there but that is part of your own growth and journey. I’m here to say it is possible., raising one’s consciousness and opening one’s heart into unconditional love usually results in you having no interest in the act of sex for satisfaction but rather deep and meaningful loving connections that may or may not include the act of sex. I don’t ever rule it out because it is beautiful and powerful if it is don’t in balance. If all you want to be getting is hollow promiscuous sex then the people you will attract are individuals who have little self worth or self-esteem. This, while exiting in the beginning, starts to eat at your soul because they are literally sucking your energy. I have nothing against having many sexual interactions with women, it’s beautiful and amazing and so are they but for this shift in consciousness I’ve experienced, it is about the connection and oneness, not the sex. It is something much deeper and more profound that I’ve awakened in me. It’s also a point that I’m not seeking to or concerned about attracting women, that is a sideffect of changing my own state of mind to which the reality starts to align and harmonise with or should I say, my person or ego starts to harmonise with reality making everything more beautiful. the only thing I wish is that I could put that in a nutshell but we all know what happens when we try to cram reality into extreme limitation. 😁🫂

@AION I’m sorry if this feels long-winded, but your post struck a deep chord within me. I’ve nearly destroyed my marriage multiple times due to misunderstandings about sexual energy. I created expectations for my wife, and when things didn’t go as I hoped, I projected frustration onto her, blaming her for a lack of affection or love. In reality, I was sabotaging my marriage by blaming instead of loving. I caught myself doing this twice, but it kept happening, which meant something was missing. Eventually, I realized the issue stemmed from a lack of mastery over sexual energy. I was externalizing it instead of transmuting it into self-love, which would allow me to become more giving rather than seeking satisfaction outside myself. In May, I had an astral experience involving a friend during a plant medicine ceremony. It was extremely sexual but I brushed it off. Soon after, I had a vivid dream where she was drowning in an endless ocean. The next day, I found out she had suffered a stroke and needed heart surgery due to a hole in her heart. This shook me, and I realized I had feelings for her—despite never considering her that way before. At the time, my heart was opening as I worked on unconditional love. This revelation confused me, as I was happily married. But the deep, palpable love we were all experiencing in our ‘soul’ group became more intense towards each other ( we bonded at a ayahuasca ceremony and have been close group of friend ever since but the live got so strong we feel closer than friends) the girl ignited a dormant sexual energy in me. I realized I had suppressed this energy, thinking I was beyond sex or intimacy. To support her, I needed to love her unconditionally, but my mind began creating fantasies, projecting future scenarios of intimacy. She didn’t need this, and it served no purpose except to feed my own urges. I felt despair when these fantasies didn’t materialize, experiencing an emotional pain similar to the rejection I felt from my wife. The pain of the perceived rejection( that wasn’t even real) is what caused me to shut down and suppress my sexuality in the first place. I was not aware of my own psychological mechanism that was causing this. I finally recognized this cycle: I created an unmet expectation, felt hurt, and projected blame onto my wife, even though the pain originated from within. I had shut down my sexual energy for years, becoming celibate and turning inward, thinking I had transcended sex. But this experience taught me I needed to confront and master it, or it would destroy my marriage. This external trigger reignited my sexual energy, starting in the root chakra, and my mind began fantasizing about her. But when the imagined scenarios didn’t happen, anxiety and pain took over. I projected my frustration onto her, repeating the same destructive patterns I had with my wife. I realized that misuse of sexual energy was harming me, and could potentially damage any relationship. One night, I consciously redirected this energy back into myself, turning it into self-love and confidence. I didn’t need anyone else to satisfy me; I could generate ecstasy within. This experience was a breakthrough in understanding kundalini energy. I stood in front of the mirror, after generating thoughts and fantasies about her and when the urge was there, I raised it up to the pit of my stomach where I would feel the anxiety. I turned this into a feeling of confidence, using the energy to generate feeling good, sexy, and satisfied, to really give myself permission to love myself and heal from the inside. When I raised it up to my heart, my heart fully opened and created a state of ecstasy unlike anything I’ve felt before. My heart was giving and giving only. I did not need to seek anything from anyone because I was generating this from within myself, changing the thoughts and feelings to something else, to use that energy to realise I was the one generating it. I began to feel real genuine unconditional love towards everyone and everything. This newfound confidence shifted my personality, freeing me from needing attention from my wife. The sexual energy flowed naturally, and my wife became more attracted to me. Others in my social circle noticed it too. It was intoxicating. I understood what it meant to carry a different, flowing energy—one that made women feel safe because it wasn’t about taking, but giving. It was pure, potent, and primordial. This realization deepened my love for the girl, but it was also what allowed me to help her in her healing journey. Our group came together, meditated, and focused on her recovery, which was miraculously quick. My relationship with my wife also transformed. Our intimacy grew more profound, as I accepted and expressed my sexuality without shame or guilt. But when I shared my experience with my wife, she felt I had emotionally cheated on her. She left, and I found her in a hotel, struggling with feelings of abandonment. That night, we had a breakthrough. She let go of her resistance because she thought there was nothing left to loose that I was anlready lost to annother woman. and for the first time, we experienced a connection that freed us both from sexual suppression. She had been experiencing physical pain during sex, but after that night, it disappeared entirely. She realised herself that she had been severely sexually suppressed due to her upbringing with a refrigerator mother and lack of affection that she found alien and uncomfortable to be even hugged. Because of the profundity of that experience she began to open up and let go, to surrender herself to what was happening. Over the next few weeks, our intimacy intensified. My wife, who was never spiritual or open to psychedelics, started to awaken. One night, while I was playing music, she dropped to her knees and cried. She said, “For the first time, I can see who you really are,” describing a glowing light around me. She felt intoxicated by my energy and began having out-of-body experiences. This marked the beginning of her own spiritual journey. She has since started self-inquiry and is planning to attend a mushroom ceremony. But this experience taught us both about the power of sexual energy. She called it “borrowed freedom,” as if my energy gave her a glimpse of what life could be like. She appreciated that I never pressured her to follow my path, and because of that, she felt loved unconditionally. She had a phrase going around in her head that she was reluctant to tell me because it was so cliche… “ I feel like I’m awakening”. In those states she found herself in she had more clarity than at any time in the past. Sexual energy is immensely powerful. It must be mastered, not suppressed. If it’s not, it can turn into manipulation or worse. Gurus and monks often face this when they suppress their energy instead of mastering it. Sexual energy is not something to be feared or shamed. It’s the essence of the masculine and feminine forces, the wave that creates life’s infinite complexity. It’s beautiful, and I will never be ashamed of it again.

I have to concur it is incredibly hard. And you have to go through many swings of a pendulum from one extreme to another to start recognising the mind is using lower consciousness urges to manipulate and when it is in higher consciousness in a state of unconditional love where is the universe loving itself. I discovered this when I was projecting my urges onto another person creating expectations in the mind which were not met and then resulting in disappointment and extreme emotions of pain in the chest where I ended up shutting myself down from feeling the emotions just to avoid the pain. I eventually realised that whenever I turned that energy back in on myself and raised it up through my centres, it created a type of confidence and self-assuredness that reached the heart and turned into self love and a state of complete ecstasy. I expressed it through dance and started to study tantra. It was a difference between externalising the energy and internalising the energy to heal myself from the inside and become a completely fulfilled being. From the place of fulfilment I found that I could use sexual energy to heal other people so long as I did not descend into lower consciousness urges.. the problem with the urges is that when you interact with a person who is not healed themselves that person can descend into feelings of guilt shame and regret feeling that they have been abused. If you are a Guru, who is to use sexual energy as a healing tool and a tool to guide people into states of Godhead ecstasy you have to be very careful about the level of development of the person that you were interacting with. sex is absolutely divine. It is the one split into the two and the two interacting and you can guide people into that so long as you don’t use it for your own satisfaction and urges it is very hard particularly if you come across a person that provokes a very strong feeling in your heart, and what I’ve noticed is whenever you go through that Harte opening process using sexual energy you start to love everyone and everything. You don’t seek anything in another person. You don’t need anything in another person to fulfil yourself because you are already fulfilled therefore whenever your heart is open in that stage you are giving not taking.. there is definitely a certain level of awareness and control required to stop the mind from descending into the lower human and I’m iStick urges so one must always be aware and responsible when using that energy to guide or heal someone. but yes it is. It’s a hard path when it is in the state of balance with another person. It is absolutely and completely beautiful and ecstatic. I just there are no words that I can express for that moment where the universe is completely and utterly in love with itself, experiencing itself and excepting itself completely and wholly. when I’m in that state I don’t even need anybody to be around because I generate that feeling within myself that energy within myself it’s so powerful. It has the ability to create or destroy. I take it as the most potent universal force or power or rather should I say, formless mental principal . having been completely suppressed all of my life due to a sexual disorder I didn’t want anything to do with sex because of the fear of people thinking that I must be perverted because of the very sexual nature of my condition so I completely and utterly shut it down and suppressed it. Years of celibacy and meditation and reality deconstruction led me to the source or the absolute singularity to understand absolutely everything is pure imagination within awareness.. but coming back from that reintegrating everything and the human experience led me to awaken that sexual energy as a part of myself that had been suppressed for so many years. it healed me it healed. My wife was also incredibly suppressed and within the last two weeks our sexual relationship has gone to something that was lacking any intimate or physical affection whatsoever to something that you would see in the books of the Kama Sutra, the power of this healing ability is absolutely standing and my mind is totally blown.

❤️❤️ this is exactly what I experienced recently when dormant or suppressed sexual energy reignited within me. this time after many failed times, I was aware of what it was doing. when the energy appeared, I found it projecting back out onto another to fulfil myself from a place of lack so I brought it back and turned it inwards on myself. It rose up into my stomach and turned into a feeling of confidence and up further still a feeling of unconditional love, up further still it became a state of ecstacy all self generated from within. when I interacted with my wife, instead of creating an expectation and lusting after her, trying to seek satisfaction in her, I turned it on myself into confidence and love that was so fulfilling that I did not need her to do or be anything. This was so attractive to her the level of intimacy between us increased ten fold and was not about sex anymore, it was about deep intimate even spiritual connection almost like a dance or exchange of energy that put both of us in a prolonged and ecstatic state. I noticed this developing into a deep love of many close friends and a sort of polyamory developed between us all. You’re so fulfilled already that the love you have is boiling over and giving. There is no seeking out or taking. Instead of blocking it like in the past I accept it and let it flow through me. I call it divine desire because it comes from a place of wholeness not lack. Desire from lack creates conditions, expectations and heartbreaking pain when it is not met leading to shutting down and suppressing those emotions. when the emotions are accepted allowed and turned inward, it heals from the inside and makes one whole again. That type of desire has been used to attract more heavenly versions of reality in more frequent succession. It is oneness experiencingbitself from a place where it already knows what it is and is now enjoying the experience.

@Thought Art I would second that. Being one of those myself, in the beginning it was all about irradicating anything that didn’t fit the expectation of the male identity in order to conform and be accepted as that so the feminine principle was dismissed entirely. those expectations, if not met ( what society deems to be a man), and it goes for congruent men as well, leaves a person feeling worthless, inadequate and defeated. going through awakenings and realising the conceptual nature of most of the labels we call ourselves has led to the slow reintegration of the feminine. It’s understood to be an interactive energy principle and nothing to do with physical sex and we all have both energies/principles within us. We also biologically have both within us, it’s just it physically expresses as one form over another where it’s rudimentary structure is identical in all people. Some are congruent one way, others aren’t like myself. coming to terms with true masculinity had nothing to do with meeting expectations or conforming to a normalised idea. In the end it was about developing confidence and healing through self love including integrating the healthy balance of the feminine.

I absolutely love this. I experienced it last week during a very strange and intense set of emotions, trying to redirect them inward and upward instead of outward and inappropriate. It resulted in self confidence and the heart opening that then accepted all others into that sphere of love so unconditionally I’m at a loss for words to describe it. It’s like I’ve fallen in love with all the others, not to want, attach or possess them but just love them.

The scale of consciousness is infinite and I don’t really include enlightenment ( realisation of solipsism) on that scale. Enlightenment, source realisation or a full awakening of the source is the complete cessation of all consciousness and dream. It’s the stilling of all motion, frequency, thought and condensing of the scattered awareness back into a singularity. There is absolutely ‘no thing’ there. It’s not emptiness, it’s full of potential waiting to burst into manifestation. There is nothing to learn there, there is nothing to do there. It’s just a dim awareness sitting in bliss before it turns back on itself in a feedback loop creating consciousness ( a first knowing or ‘I am’) , within consciousness, everything is a fractal iteration, exploration of consciousness and form without ever exceeding that initial boundary. When you realise the truth, you remember there was nothing so you come back and explore the infinite dimensions and states of consciousness and slap yourself in the head as you remember that is what you set out to do in the first place and you’ve gone full circle. Then Buddha sits up and starts laughing as he is back and remembers the absurdity of his infinite mind 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It’s unfortunate but yes. His insights are legit and seem to stem from the likes of Tesla, faraday, Heaviside, maxwell Walter Russell etc. ie the change in paradigm of physics ( based on a proper understanding of what light is) but….. he burried it in heaps and heaps of his own ‘cultural’ beliefs or conspiracy crap. I find people who have genuine insights who are not listen to, tend to get angry and elaborate their stories to get attention but the elaboration turns into wild conspiracy fantasy like they know something that others don’t ( superiority complex) I’ve never heard of Terrence Howard before the net blew up about this but I understand exactly what he is talking about. What we are getting in this interview is a rapid fire and incoherent stream of ideas at a surface level that without unpacking and going into the research that supports it, sounds like absolute nonsense. there are other people who try to get this idea across. Some of them are word salad generators but if you get the meaning behind the words they’re using it gets easier to understand. Quite a lot of them are also quite intellectual and arrogant that can act as a block to understanding what they are trying to communicate. More often then not they get caught up in the conspiracy stories because they haven’t done personal development or discernment for themselves but that doesn’t dismiss the insights. terrence isn’t the first to know this stuff. nassim haramein, Ken wheeler, David la Pointe, Lori Gardy just to name a few who mention very similar concepts. Some of whom have started developing tech as a result. even if I look at myself, there would be genuine insight into the geometric structure of the vacuum and how it connects everything but in top of that I will still have my human characters propensity to favour certain opinion of interest over others. watching the Terrence interview it’s clear to me the difference between his insight and his ‘cultural personality’. He keeps jumping between the two and mixing them up in the perception of the viewer making it look like schizo nonsense. There’s always a partial truth in what a person says but we have to understand what is being said before dismissing it.

@blessedlion1993 my wife started dating me and then married me without knowing the specifics of my condition ( gonadal disgenesis which comes under the gender incongruency umbrella. I contain both male and female biological factors, some genetic, some neurological and some physical but I am unrefutably a man ) . When I asked her about it she said, the only difference between before and after knowing was a ‘word’ or term that I didn’t identify with anyway so it made absolutely no difference. I was the person she met as of her direct experience at that time which was unquestionably mentally and socially male and no story that anyone would tell her about me from the past could change the reality of of who and what I was to her at that moment. That has never changed (although having gone through awakening, my personality has.) she also pointed out that as I wasn’t involved with the trans or lgbt community that I hadn’t taken on their cultural mannerisms or behaviours. The whole point was to get treatment and integrate back into society to get on with life in peace, not to create an outlandish identity removed from conventional roles. I don’t identify as trans. I have no childhood trauma or mental illness and I don’t discuss it with anyone as it doesn’t exist in the perception of daily life. As my wife says, it is now just a story that doesn’t reflect the reality of the moment and doesn’t exist until it is conceptually created in the mind of another person by telling a story about it. if you meet me, I’m just a guy. Everything is normal. If I suddenly tell you a story about myself from the past, your perception based on your own preconceived ideas change and your behaviour toward me changes as well. The only thing that doesn’t change is me. you do not know if you have or have not got any sex specific biology unless you test yourself for it. There are men out there who are born with xx chromosomes (the sry genes are on the other x) and you wouldn’t know and they wouldn’t know unless it came up on a test. Most people are nothing but appearances because that’s all you interact with anyway. What your worried about is social perception but if no one knows and it doesn’t have any adverse effect then what’s the problem? my wife ( this is unrelated to me) has difficulty with comfortable sex due to dryness and small vagina. This stems from being a small person, intimacy issues from childhood because of cold emotionally unsupportive parents and past abusive sexual relationships( and quite possibly now the menopause) . If I turned around and expressed concern about her gender because of my difficulty fingering or sleeping with her… I’d bet I would be deserving of a punch in the face for it and quite rightly so. she has said to me before she’s worried she’s not normal, that her bits don’t seem to be working properly but to be honest I think she’s perfectly normal and just not good at dealing with even subtle stresses and lacking in self confidence. It’s not an indication of a gender disorder your basically projecting your fears onto someone and creating a situation where you are the victim and blaming them for it instead of taking responsibility for your own perspective of your perceptions. Remember perception and perspective are not the same, one is thwarted by bias and doesn’t reflect the other truthfully.

It really depends on what perspective or what reality you’re living in. I’ve tried to stay as non bias a possible throughout the whole thing and just kept an eye on the studies and the clinicians in direct contact with patients and it very slowly started becoming apparent that something was very wrong. My father’s a professor of immunology so I haven’t escaped being educated about how our systems works and sitting through postgrad lectures while waiting for a lift home and learning to read and understand papers. I’m also very familiar with how vaccines work and this ‘injection’ is NOT a vaccine. A vaccine is an attenuated version of a bacteria or virus with a specific dose that is given which provokes an immune response which is then contained in memory cell for when an infection comes along and the system recognises it again. The covid vaccines are based on a system that transfers RNA code for the original strain of virus spike protein into your cells via lipid nano particulate. Your cells then act as a spike protein producing factory. The spike is cytotoxic, it’s an artificial replication of the original strain that no longer exists, there is no way to know what dose you are giving a person as it is the persons body/genetic/etc that determine when the production stops. It is classified as a GMO or gene therapy as that is what the technology was invented for. That is not a vaccine. Plenty of studies have shown people becoming infected shortly after injection indicating there is a problem with immunosuppression and or illness from sideffects. This is evident in the complaints of clinical oncologists who have successfully treated their patients and have improved their immune systems to the point it is able to keep the cancer at bay for decades only to go take the boosters and end up with T cell suppression and the aggressive return of their cancer. the injection itself being given without aspirating the needle has caused bolus issues throughout the body, leading to multiple issues like myocarditis, thrombosis, stroke, I’m not going to list all of it…. ive had multiple clients of mine coming in saying how good they were to get the booster and the flu jab but in the next sentence claiming to have been extremely ill for two weeks or longer afterwards and blaming it on a visit to a cafe! Some of my clients are dead! the rest of us who don’t participate in this insanity don’t experience anything of the sort. on top of that, my father wasn’t able to go into his lab without taking the injections and in February this year after his booster ( despite me pleading with him to stop) he ended up in hospital fighting for his life. He had to be recusitated twice. His aorta tore open after his heart wouldn’t stop fibrilating. There was bruising and cell damage on ascending and descending. There was so little tissue left in places it had to be grafted over a scaffolding. He’s very lucky to be alive. I had the tissue that was removed sent away for analysis and it returned as being riddled with spike damage( if you want to know what spike damage is then go look at the German study) One of the cardio thoracic surgeons took his case file and got in touch with another specialist( a cardio vascular surgeon over the west of the country) who has been repeatedly operating on ‘young’ healthy individuals with accelerated blockages in their systems presenting as stroke in evolution that he has never seen the likes of in his life. He raised the issue twice with the department of health and nothing has happened. Further to that, we are good friends with an undertaker who says about 20 percent of the bodies the embalmers are working on have strings of white rubbery clots coming out of them. This has been reported by others too and have raised issue that a new pathology is presenting they’ve never seen before either. Vascular systems being covered by an overproduction of protein. When they come out they are an exact mold of the vesicles they’ve been flushed out of. At all ages. my entire family took at least two-three shots and all of them got covid afterwards( not before) and they have been reinfected multiple times and in general are sick every other week! It is astonishing! I refused to take it as I got T cell suppression from annual flu vaccines where I got infected every year and each time was worse till I ended up in hospital unable to breath. Clearly it wasn’t working and I stopped, overhauled my health- diet, lifestyle and state of mind. That was in 2017. I haven’t been sick since and I’m not exaggerating! No I didn’t lock down and continued as normal as did the rest of the community here. No one got covid till omicron arrived. Yes I got covid ( omicron) and no I had no symptoms. I wasn’t sick and continued as normal. I didn’t get infected before or after that and it was in March 2021. my Scottish relatives, retired GP and a surgeon are both now refusing to take boosters as both were very unwell after the last one. The GP now has cancer and the surgeon has the same onset symptoms as my father with atrial fibrillation. my sister, in her 30’s has chest pains and difficulty breathing and is constantly sick. Every other week it’s “oh I think I have a cold. Maybe it’s covid” this has been going on for three years. i think there is nothing more obvious than Australia where they went for total lock down in an attempt to achieve zero covid. The products were rolled out in 2020 and the deaths didn’t start till after. The first covid to spread across the country was omicron in late 2021! I have no time for conspiracy theorists but I have even less time for people who call expert clinicians with direct experience of their own clients, conspiracy theorists! I have even less time for people who dismiss things without first looking at the evidence. there are four cardio thoracic surgeons in this country and we are having to fly in surgeons in emergencies due to the number of heart problems occuring. We had to get a surgeon from Sweden for my father. if one more politician stands up and says “ oh it’s because of climate change” …. I swear to god!!!!!!! ( that’s their answer to this!) I do not know what kind of information you people have access to but it’s certainly not what I’m seeing or experiencing. I just want to reiterate something. The spike protein found in my father’s tissue was not covid spike. It was the protein his own body produced from the RNA in the injection . The virus with that particular protein became extinct in late 2021! It no longer exists! He was riddled with artificial spike that damaged his heart and surrounding tissues. That God damn injection nearly killed him my own GP has been slowly confiding his discontent to me about the health authority and is planning early retirement because he can’t take being a part of this anymore. Last year he seemed really depressed and disinterested in his practice before he finally said he can’t go on reporting increases in problems in his patients and recommending taking the product off the market only to be told to shut up and keep giving it… that’s not medicine, that’s not health care. uk has already prosecuted the manufacturers for breach of code. a criminal complaint against multiple individuals in regulatory positions has been lodged with the head of police. Australian lawyers are currently in the process of taking their regulators to court in order to both ban the product and prosecute the regulators. theres possible prosecutions happening for giving multiple drugs with known respiratory suppressant effect to people with a respiratory infection effectively killing them ( this happened in mutiple cases in the old folks homes, one of whom was my 102 year old grandfather! The Scottish relatives want an investigation) there’s plenty others and it’s all coming out slowly. unfortunately for those of us who have watched loved ones suffer and die, it’s too little too late. there were certainly people out there who were vulnerable to the virus and some who died but the majority had Co morbidities. No one is dismissing what happened to them but the sheer numbers reported across the world were grossly exaggerated. The excess death count now has exceeded the reported death numbers during the most active phase of the virus and as those strains are no longer with us and omicron is nothing more than cold and fever, the increase in deaths cannot be accounted for by the virus. Everything that every clinician is seeing in their patients is pointing to a medical intervention that neither works nor is it safe or even needed.

It only works if all its members are willing and engaging as an intrinsic part of the decisions, Otherwise it is just coercion and tyranny.

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2024/02/men-women-brain-organization-patterns.html#:~:text=A new study by Stanford,a woman or a man. There has been an argument about standard deviation and overlap with error bars so a few studies have used AI and trained it to identify distinct patterns with high accuracy. First study above was specifically being developed for identifying sex specific neurological disease and the one below ventured into the trans differentiation. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41386-020-0666-3? I understand the sex /gender argument as it’s clear a gender role can be played by anyone but it still seems the way a person expresses themselves or the feeling from which it derives has a biological basis even if it is minute. The sample size in the trans study is too small and needs to be expanded but it suggests a dimensionality or spectral nature to sex specific neurology. humans are inherently diverse because of their higher cognitive function and I certainly think as they continue to evolve, they’ll appear in more complex configurations driven by the mind. looking at a body that contains multiple dimorphic structures ( male/female development potential) including to what degree the neurology can fall into, I’m not surprised at seeing spectral complexity emerging from it.

I don’t know if this is of any help but I have identified as a boy/man and male for the majority of my life. In the beginning I was believing what I was told by my parents, peers, culture but something kicked in around 5 years old that didn’t reflect everyone identifying me as a girl. It was persistent and severely distressing so I was treated in my teens when I was finally referred to a clinic after years of therapists, psychiatrists ending in a suicide attempt. My ‘feelings’ turned out to have a biological basis. Although I looked female, I had gonadal disgenesis which wasn’t known till my teens when I was tested for disorders during my diagnosis process. I participated in a study in 2014 that showed I had a mutation in one of my genes that is typical of males but not females. It cannot currently be tested but I speculate my BNSTi in my hypothalamus falls into the male range as this is what is seen in brain autopsy studies of transgenders. There is an argument over neurological studies as the standard deviation and error bars issue in the research methodology shows too much overlap between the sexes but a recent development by a professor Menon ( Stanford university) taught an AI with large American and European samples of ‘cis’ gendered male and female brains by fMRI and identified three regions that seem to be sex specific. When the AI was used to identify the next set of scans, it identified whether the person was male or female ( as in they are both biologically and identify congruently) with above 90% accuracy. If the incorrect identifications are ironed out, or the reason possibly being these people are actually biologically variant but don’t know, then this will end the statistical overlap argument and potentially be used as a diagnostic tool. ( just for context, it was created as a tool to be used for helping diagnose neurological disorders that are sex specific. There has been no use of the method on trans but the software is available for anyone who should like to do this) having gone through awakening, I know I am ‘awareness’ and both identity and the perception of the body and all things in the objective universe are a construction of the mind. but if I were to come back into this ‘character or avatar’ that I’m experiencing I would say that it contains biological attributes of both sexes that in whatever combination or whichever attribute is predominant, expresses as a male gender. I as this avatar am not male or female but both. Whichever factor was predominant is what has swayed me to go to conformity within the societal expectation of a male/man. I do not identify as trans and do not engage with the lgbt community. I got my treatment and reintegrated back into the society I came from.( I believe a lot of problem stem from the creation of trans as an identity rather than a description of a biological variant) while my body ( as does everyone’s) contains dimorphic structures that can change to either male or female via chemical triggers( secondary characteristic), anything that required physical development during gestation has been surgically altered to the best of a surgeons ability so my superficial, bodily appearance is male. While I can orgasm I do not have the reproductive or hormonal production of either male or female and never have. That is managed artificially. My condition is invisible and doesn’t exist in day to day life. I fulfill my role as a man, a husband, a brother and a son and my condition doesn’t exist until I mention it and it forms in the mind of a person who is told. Pre conceived beliefs begin to be projected onto me and ‘their’ behavior changes. The reality was their direct experience prior to me telling them anything which was completely normal. After telling them, they start projecting their ideas onto me. This has prompted me to never talk about it for both my and the other persons sake. For me to create discomfort in a weak minded person who cannot control their own thoughts and resulting behavior would not be very conscious of me so I no longer do it. Since dissolving the ego somewhat there is no need or feeling to justify my identification. It just is. if this stuff is to be taught to young children then it should be approached holistically encompassing not just variations but the two binaries between which that spectrum appears. All of it needs to be taught with equal importance. Sexual Biology ‘is’ binary in a human and that is the male or female deviation of a dimorphic structure of which there are many in the body. Multiple simplex binary structures can all be coherent or sometimes incoherent causing complex variants we see as the many emergent genders. thats only one explanation but we can’t forget there is the purely psychological recognition of social constructs and those who loosen themselves from that regardless of the biological underlying attributes. both exist. Everything we know is highly complex and emergent from a simplex unity. the complexity of our culture and the understanding of biology and our higher psychological faculties is not something that can be taught to a child. We only know these things from having gone through all these experiences, overcoming our animalistic reactions and becoming more aware of our cognitive functions, studying, contemplating and regaining mastery over them. perhaps it would be better to teach children awareness and awareness of complexity instead of trying to break the complexity appart to save them from the experiences they inherently have to go through to learn?

Waking up to social constructs is a phase in evolution for being of higher cognitive function, it doesn’t tend to ignore underlying sexual biology.( a non binary doesn’t reject their sex just the expectation of a gender role based on it historically) not to generalise as there are some who wish to interfere with their biology depending on the level of dysphoria they experience. biological dimorphisms will inherently emerge as incoherent in some people hence transgender or intersexed but it is rare and that’s not what we are seeing at the moment. the two are not the same yet both can be influenced by the idea of the other. Normalising it politically can and has backfired by stigmatising those that don’t agree or that have made a mistake and are ignored because admitting it looks bad to the community even thought it doesn’t effect them only the ones being harmed by very loose policy. I think it shouldn’t be advertised or publicly promoted but rather a private decision where the person is left to their own devices and respected as such and allowed to get on with their lives ( I believe the problem arises in those who want to shout it about, demanding attention and rubbing it in peoples faces) medical intervention shouldn’t be given to young people unless they meet the original diagnostic criteria of persistent historical gender identity that continues on into their teens. This original treatment model worked but the affirmation model more recently introduced which was meant to be the loosening of criteria for genuine cases ( de pathologising and reducing distress over the treatment waiting times) has dropped the filters that would have screened out people with mental health issues and those confused by cultural conformity. The clinics are reintroducing the old model but the advocates and community see it as phobic when it actually doesn’t affect them, it simply filters out those who should not be there. other cultures /tribes have had severe interventions normalised, like bodily mutation, decoration, etc. this is nothing new. the phase may come and go but I do think the public persona of it is just further indentification and justification to conform to a trend with a degree of attention seeking to be seen as being in a culturally ‘right’ and progressive way of thinking.

I don’t know about other substances but research on psilocybin shows neurogenesis. That would increase one’s processing of the ‘awareness’ signal capacity while embodied. But so too does flooding the body with oxygen( breathwork or oxygen chamber).

I think it was timing. Lockdowns and freedom from work and obligation left me with the time to contemplate and deconstruct everything. There were certainly some catalysts that pushed me that direction that accelerated into an awakening fairly quickly. Most of the practices involve extracting the mind or awareness from any objective, sensory experience. It goes back to rest/infinity and then starts to construct anything and everything( hence the vivid imagery) The trick is becoming conscious of how it is the mind that is creating/ imagining it all. Watching what the mind does. In a sober trip there can be absolutely no fear and complete relaxation or you suddenly jolt out of it. It isn’t easy which is why I say more often now days I go to the mushroom ceremonies, doing it the lazy way or just needing a safe space and time away from everything once or twice a year. Experimenting with the mushrooms once I quieted my mind for the whole trip and nothing happened. There was no trip because my mind was silent and created nothing.

I did a lot of philosophy, psychology and objective retroduction that led to a full blown awakening. I was sober and sitting in a chair at the time. I got the deepest understanding of the nature of reality at that moment and had never heard of actualisation, spirituality or psychedelics. I was only trying to teach myself how to discern truth. I was aggressively atheistic and went into shock when I dissolved and was confronted with what ‘is’ and being one and the same as it. i came across psychedelics when I went looking for answers as to what happened where it was said that you could experience this on 5MeO so I went to try it to contrast it with what I experienced. It was similar but with allot more buzzy energy. i didn’t need the substance to get into that state, I needed the groundwork. And it is much the same now as it was then. Unless I do the ground work the substances are useless. They are a tool to help loosen from the objective reality. ive taken 5 meo many times, mushrooms, ayahuasca and cannabis. Hell I even had a white light experience on a bottle of wine! But so did the floatation tank. ayahuasca was the second experience that showed me where to focus inward and go into those states of consciousness but I had to actively intend to set up the scenario to figure it out. The plant didn’t do that for me, my mind did. with a a bit of practice I was able to sit and have full blown vivid fractal trips ( internal) just sitting in a chair sober. it is always sober contemplation and training the mind that cause my insights. The psychedelic just give a more vivid direct experience of it when I’m feeling lazy or too overwhelmed in life to do the work. I used to get exited about psychedelics in the beginning and promote and push them but I realise better now that you never push something on someone. Even healing. It’s no one’s right to do that. You continue the journey and only help if someone asks. Pushing something is part of a righteous identity. Psychedelics can be used as tools to help along the way but they do not do it for you. Look at all the recreational users out there who haven’t got a clue about any of this.

I do apologise I tend to get carried away and write essays.sometimes just for the sake of parlance. It was tough back then but it’s okay now. Im completely grateful for the experience and for awakening. I no longer have emotional reactions to these issues having stepped out of the identification and objective reality altogether. The clarity that has caused is quite a peaceful existence. If I hadn’t moved on. I would never have been able to analyse the situation without bias. it’s much more interesting to look at the issue as a whole with all the different perspectives when one is not attached or cheering for only one side with the added benefit of direct experience. with JK,it would be interesting to do regression with her feelings to find if it’s just a once off incident in her life or if there’s been a pattern of reaction that is similar to different types of incidents. We’ll never know. I don’t hate or feel anger towards her rather I recocognise a lack of self confidence. She doesn’t need to justify herself for being herself by having to compare and contrast. If only someone could tell her that. There’s a deep seated hatred of men in there somewhere and the incroaching on her space🤔. I won’t go there. Too much speculation.

It’s more a case that she’s approaching the issue from a very narrow perspective and applying it across the board. From the comments I’ve heard her making it seems she perceives it as a personal threat to her own identity or the identity of women without thinking about the biological variants in our species or the realisation of conceptual constructs which are the complexity that emerge from many simplex/ dimorphic sexual structures throughout the body. The sudden and very liberal change of political attitude, while well intentioned, has inadvertently caused a free for all so disingenuous opportunists have been allowed through without a filter ( this filter was part of the original diagnostic and treatment model). What jk and others are pointing out is this issue but they are so frustrated with no one listening that they have become angry and hateful applying the issue to genuine cases as well which comes across as trying to stamp them all out of society. Whether she is aware of the difference I don’t know but it doesn’t seem that way. It’s like the sudden change of attitude of people against Muslims after 9/11. Suddenly because of a few extremist bad eggs, the whole community is suspect? That’s flawed thinking. I do agree that lgbt members or people who identify with it do have a highly sensitive and victim like mentality but as I’ve said already, individuals in the community have been subject to descrimination in history so collectively the lot are still suffering from generational trauma and haven’t been given the space to heal from it. From a higher perspective they are so Intrenched in ego and identity which is the core of the problem, it makes it far harder to ‘awaken’ from that, let go and heal.

‘Consistent’ is the hard part and for me to consider it a successful attempt I need to be aware from start to finish. i ‘wake up’ plenty of times in what could be described as a fractal realm or lucid state in a body that’s not mine but the obe I deliberately practiced only happened once ( two consecutive extperiences back to back). I used to do it consistently as a teen but never went further than my house.

I noticed it over 20 years ago. I was born with gonadal disgenesis but got lumped into the trans category by the doctors who at the time didn’t have much of a clue. I didn’t have phones or computers back then and there was nothing in the media. I was on my own with nothing to influence me. I knew what I was and that’s not what people were seeing externally and that was the greatest source of frustration turning to a raging anger. It felt like deliberate offense and disrespect but I know better now. Dissolving further till the ego was gone completely showed that this avatar contained biology of both male and female and that is just the way it is. There was a purpose and it has taught me a lot. never mind feeling something was off with myself but when I was put in touch with the small support group in my country I got the head bitten off me for asking simple questions as to what could be causing the condition. Fine I had it but I wanted to know why. Any suggestion or wanting to start a conversation to hash out possibilities ended in me being cast out of the group and ignored. This was 20 years ago when I was the youngest in the country to be treated. I also noticed with the lgbt scene in the city that people’s personas changed to fit a particular type of mannerism or expectation to ‘belong’ and I backed away from that too as I just wanted to reintegrate back into society, not further my exclusivity from it. Go back to normalcy as a man and not be skipping about the place identifying as ‘trans’.( people can do that if they want but I don’t agree with it.) i spoke with the head of the gender clinic here who noticed sudden change in the demographic since about 2014 and we’re basically looking at a phenomena called ‘Rapid onset gender dysphoria’ that may or may not be associated with genuine occurrences of transgenderism. ( there is a problem there in teens in particular with a link to autism in allot of cases.) it’s speculated to be a result of normalising the condition to integrate a very small group of people into society safely but it seems to have backfired in the way they are teaching it in schools in particular which leaves kids with the expectation they must be trans if they feel a bit of discomfort in themselves coming into their teens. this is made worse by the change in the diagnostic and treatment models adopted by the clinics. In my day there was a strict set of protocols and diagnosis criteria that had to be met including history of persistent claim of the sexual identity that had to be proven for two years after diagnosis before any treatment could be given. The model now is affirmation that just accepts a kids declaration with no question or medical investigation and no previous claims of the identity being persistent in childhood, it just suddenly appears! The previous model was at least able to filter out psychiatric issues. there was a fight to stop the long wait for treatment as there were individuals including myself who were literally on suicide watch cause we couldn’t take it anymore.( if I had been told I would be 27 by the time all my treatment would be completed… the Dysphoria was so severe it wouldn’t have been worth living) thankfully I was transferred to a European clinic and it was decided I would be treated immediately. I spent the next ten years trying to get legal recognition which eventually happened so I’m currently living life, married my wife, own a business and a house. No one knows about my condition because I don’t use it or identify with it. The last thing I wanted was for the whole thing to blow up into a high profile issue making it look like there are thousands of us taking over. It’s simply not true. the current problem with the rise in kids and teens coupled with the isolated perverted cases being extrapolated into the entire community has turned what was going so well, into a complete shit show. The negligence and lack of care in clinic now days is completely unacceptable. Activists see it as an attack on the trans community but no one is bothering to notice that there are kids getting hurt! The closure of the clinic in the uk has left genuine cases without treatment so they are getting hurt by all this fighting too. People are just swinging from one extreme to another without looking at the situation, it’s all fuelled by ideology, beliefs and emotion. the argument Rowling makes perplexed me when I first heard it and that was that her identity as a woman was being attacked and recategorised. I found it amusing that her complaint basically insinuated that another person external to herself was defining her own ability to declare or recognise herself as a woman. That sounds like a lack of self confidence and blaming the fact that there are different types of women appearing out there. I understand how she sees it but it is predominantly hateful. She doesn’t seem to understand Radcliffe and tompsons upset because they have friends who are trans. People they hang out with who have never hurt them and it is upsetting to see them being labelled as some abomination or threat to mankind. im fully aware of the self centred nature of some of these people but they are reacting in a defensive manner as the generational trauma of the group hasn’t had the space to heal yet. This new onslaught of the trans community has poked an already wounded beast so to speak and we see activists and some lgbt individuals getting quite violent as a result. I understand why but it’s still no excuse for the behaviour. I didn’t spend ten years of my life fighting in court for a legal right to recognition for the next generation to wipe their identities in everyone’s face. I’m deeply disappointed. it’s also disturbing to sit in plant medicine ceremonies and be a part of that ‘spiritual’ community listening to religion and right wing sentiments influence and infiltrate the community. Watching people I have a deep love for suddenly go on trans topic as I sit in the corner thinking if I were to ever say a word about my own story, I would be in immediate danger of being attacked due to the level of disgust and anger being vented by them.

You’re full of great quotes! 🤗

It’s still in contemplation as to what that work is going to be but I do find that when I’m around spiritual groups / plant medicine tribe etc there is still a very immature level of consciousness. I had an individual contact me for council recently who was struggling with a full source experience that completely trashed any last sense of new age or religious nonsense and showed it all as bullshit. I had to explain it like different classes in a school. Each person holds onto something depending on their level of development so shouldn’t be judged or coerced but guided along by their own desire to know till they are ready to let go of their comforter. (You don’t teach calculus to a first grader as they don’t have the foundation of math required to understand or use it). I can guide others well yet don’t quite know how to focus my own work into something productive and purposeful. there aren’t many around who understand true awakening, metaphysics etc and as there are more and more people having spontaneous experiences with the increase in mindfulness, yoga, plant medicine now, I find myself trying to calm people on the brink of psychosis who have no foundational groundwork in their own psychology or metaphysics prior to having their subjective self burst wide open and then massive ego backlashed afterwards. personally I don’t know whether to cater for the advanced or for the individuals who find their way in because of trauma and suffering. part of me says to raise everyone, raise the ones on the lower rungs of the ladder first and keep the advanced stuff for my own private practices and personal development. i guess in that way I would use what I have learned to go into a different method of psychology counselling. Specialising in something instead of tackling the whole universe. I am a component of a collective of others who would have their niches too, together it supports the whole but would have to all recognise that( all too often you see niches dismissing one another by the very narrow view they have stuck themselves in)