I guess the first place I should really start if I'm going to work on myself, is my motivation. Some days I sit there lethargically as if the whole world's against me and I just want to sleep. Some days I just feel as if doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING else other then what I should be is better. Like right now as I tap away at my keyboard. There's some better video I could be watching right?
So it makes me curious, is motivation really just bullshit. When it comes down to it, does everything just go off that Nike slogan of "Just do it!" I don't know. But i can't be fucked. So i'm going to stop writing. Why did I make this post again?
Seriously though motivation is hard for me to understand. What's your motivation for reading this post? what's my motivation for writing it? maybe for you, it gives you something to engage in and while you explore google and think about "motivation" you're rewarded by stimulation or maybe it's different, maybe you've been suicidal depressed before, and while staring aimlessly into the carpet you had a rapid-break-through that helped you understand the world and the universe along with it and for easy $50.95 you're willing to share it.. or at least write it into a reply-post because you feel people would be honored to read it as long as you're taken seriously and respected for your hard work.
So... what is it? I mean when I get hungry I stare blankly into the fridge as if meals are going to prepare themselves. Then eventually get to work.
But why don't I do that an hour ahead in the first place?
Why don't I prepare meals 3 days in advance?
Why don't I organize all the aspects of my life so that I can make it easier on myself later?
Right now on Amazon there are
458,648 books for self-help,
777,432 for Health, Fitness & Dieting and
1,903,978 for Business & Money
So why do I just leave things to the last minute? if the information's right there? Right now I'm anxious mess who quit his day job because of anxiety. I do things out of the motivation of fear. I guess you could say, this post is motivated out of the fear that my anxiety will not improve if I don't do something now.
But why didn't I work on this part of who I am before? why did the walls come tumbling down before I did something