Spiritual Warrior

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #62 - Mar 16, 2025 5:37 PM Higher self: Alright lower self, what's on the agenda today? Lower self: It is true that emptiness is all that there is. Higher self: What is emptiness? Lower self: Emptiness is a vast space that goes on for infinity. There is nothing in it, it's just an endless orb of silence. Higher self: What about sound? There is sound in the world around you why wouldn't there be sound within this empty void. And aren't we inside of the empty void? Lower self: When did I say there was sound in this world? And to what world are you even referring? Higher self: You hear sound though, you experience sound. Lower self: No I don't. What is it? Explain it to me. Higher self: Sound is... Hmmm... I don't know what sound is. Or I just don't know how to explain it. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Higher self: Does this orb of silence have structure? Lowers self: It is endless so there is no structure. Higher self: How can something have no structure? Doesn't everything have a molecular structure to it? Lower self: What makes a structure molecular? And what is a structure anyways? Higher self: A structure is something that makes a thing concrete, it makes it tangible, so that it can be measured. Does anything not have structure? Lower self: Yes, infinity goes on forever and ever, it has no end, no bottom and no top. Therefore it is without structure. Higher self: But you said that infinity is Truth and that Truth is something that is concrete and true without any doubt. Therefore, if structure is something that is concrete then how can infinity have any structure to it? But then again infinity is Truth and truth is something that is concrete which means that it does have structure. So it has structure and it doesn't have structure. How do we rectify that? Lower self: What is true then? Is infinity structureless? And you are infinity correct? Higher self: What makes me infinite? Lower self: You have no self, this has already been established. The idea of Ben is a concept, it is imaginary. Your entire world is imaginary. Higher self: Then why is there pain? Pain feels very real. Lower self: Pain is not real, it is something that you have made up. Survival is something that is made up. Your entire world is made up. Higher self: But who made it up? Lower self: You did. Higher self: How do you know all of this? Lower self: Because you are infinity. This is what an infinite being would do. It would make things up because it goes on forever and ever. Higher self: But how do I know that I am infinity. What makes it so that I am part of infinity? Why can't I be apart from infinity? Why do they have to be one and the same? Lower self: Because the self image that you have created for yourself. IS NOT REAL. It is NOT Truth. Infinity is truth. Not let's move towards infinity.

This is my first honest attempt at doing spiritual autolysis. This is a method to attaining truth- realization coined by Jed McKenna. "Autolysis" means self-digestion, and "Spiritual" means the level of self that encompasses the mental, physical and emotional aspects. All you really have to do is write the truth. Just write down what you know is true, or what you think is true, and just keeping writing, until you come up with something that is true. Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #1 - Wed Apr 19 '23 - 8:28 AM Lower self: I am a human being. My name is Ben. I know that I am a human being because I was told that I am a human being from my schooling and my parents and everyone else within society. I am told that we as human beings have evolved from chimpanzees or bonobos. Higher self: Okay... do you have any direct experience of yourself as being a human being? Lower self: No... this is just what I have been told. Higher self: Okay... then how do you know that it is true? Lower self: Well... I don't. I am just trusting what other people have told me. Higher self: Okay, then we agree that you do not know for a fact that you are a human being? Lower self: Yes. I agree... My name is Ben though. I was given this name from my parents when I first came out of the womb. Higher self: Have you ever experienced what it means to be Ben? Lower self: Well... I have a bunch of beliefs and pictures in my head that I feel like embody who I, or Ben is as a person, i.e. what Ben is good at, what he's bad at, which people are my best friends, who Ben's family is, etc. Higher self: Okay... Would you agree that these are all just beliefs and pictures in your head, this Ben cannot be a truth within the universe. There is nothing fundamental about it. You do not know what it is like to be Ben. These are all just fictions in your head, beliefs about yourself, there is no being to speak of. Lower self: Yes, I agree. I am starting to see a recurring pattern here. Does the truth lie within being? Higher self: Yes, I think so. Lower self: Well how do you know? Higher self: Well... I don't know, it just seems like the correct way of thinking about things. If all of these beliefs and fictions in our heads are just that, fictions like Pete Ralston has talked about, then how else are we going to come to the truth about things. Lower self: First off, you are putting your faith in Peter Ralston too much. How do you know what he is saying is true? Higher self: You're right, I don't. I want to question what he is saying as well. But... we have already established that there is no inherent truth to the Ben label or the human being label, correct? And this has been established because when we boil down the human being label, this is just a label that other people have come up with in order to label what this species should be called. We call this species human beings. No pure truth to this. Just a label. Same with the beliefs that you hold about Ben, no pure, fundamental truth there either. That is what this work is all about, cutting past all of the bullshit labels and getting to what is truly TRUE. That is what we are after here, and I think this was a good start young Padawan. Lower self: Thank you When will we speak again? Higher self: When you are ready.

Ultimately the self and life are limited forms of Absolute Consciousness - there is no difference between Consciousness, self, mind, or pizza. Turns out it's all Nothing, and the self is Being. It is all a manifestation of the very Consciousness that is realized in enlightenment. A self, however, is designed to live and die in complete ignorance of this Truth. But it doesn't have to stay that way. - from Pursuing Consciousness page 289

The Self and the Thoughts that Make it Up The self is comprised of beliefs about who and what we are. What are some examples in my own life? I am a self. My name is Ben. I am 29 years old. I am a dance instructor. I have good intentions although I do hurt people some times. I have blonde hair. I am a short man. I am an attractive man. I am a good dancer. These are all beliefs that you hold true about yourself. They are all thoughts. Thoughts are a complete fiction, which means that there is nothing true about them. If the self is comprised of thoughts then the self is also a complete fiction. Now I can write this down on paper and guess what, it actually does make sense. However, how do I actually experience that the thoughts and self are a fiction? How is it possible to experience this reality when I am so used to seeing things from the perspective that they are true. I am so attached to this human being that I believe myself to be. He is all that I think about. It's actually quite gross to be honest with you. Why am I so obsessed with him and his life story? It's not even that interesting. It's not enough to logically point these truths out. I have to recontextualize my thinking, yet as of right now I have no idea how to do that. To awaken requires a direct experience into the nature of self and thoughts.

How are you? Perfect, thank you. I'm traveling incognito. Oh? As what are you disguised? I am disguised as myself. Don't be silly. That's no disguise. That's what you are. On the contrary, it must be a very good disguise, for I see it has fooled you completely. ~ Sufu Mullah Nasrudin

Honest communication, express exactly what you are thinking and feeling. No manipulation tactics.

Here's some mind blowing advice... work on both

Substitute teacher and ballroom dance instructor

A beautifully narrated series of the Ten Ox Herding Pictures Happy enlightening Picture One - Searching for the Ox Picture Two - Seeing the Traces Picture Three- Seeing the Ox Picture Four - Catching the Ox Picture Five - Taming the Ox Picture Six - Riding Home on the Ox Picture Seven - The Ox Forgotten, the Self Remains Picture Eight - Forget Both Self and Ox Picture Nine - Return to the Origin, Back to the Source Picture Ten - Entering the Marketplace with Extended Hands

The self identity is something that is constructed by ourselves. There is nothing inherently True about it. NOTHING true. Based on the simple fact that there is no self to criticize or scrutinise, every decision that you have made throughout your entire life has been perfect. It is exactly what you were meant to do at that current point in time. If we can figure out the make up of the structure of thoughts, then we can figure out a way to change the structure and therefore change the way that we interpret thoughts and hopefully have more control over them.

"We are enslaved by anything we do not consciously see. We are freed by conscious perception." ~ Vernon Howard

Very true. Then it's a question of does the human want to bring things into his or her conscious awareness. Does he really want to face the truth?

Your parents are willingly causing pain to another creature so that it will "taste better" for them. This is very selfish behavior. The universe does not reward selfishness, this will hurt them spiritually.

The Ego I find the ego disgusting because it lies and cheats and steals in order to get what it wants. Honest communication is not in the egos best interest. It manipulates others and it's environment in order to survive. This act of manipulating is very obvious in primal animals, such as crocodiles. A crocodile will hide underwater, deceiving it's prey that it is not there. Then when the prey is too close to the water to get out of the way, the crocodile springs up from the water and drags its prey underwater until it drowns. However, in human beings the act of manipulation in order to survive is a little bit different. A human not only has to survive in a physical sense and take care of it's body, it also has to maintain the self image that it has concocted, unconsciously I might add, towards itself. When I was a kid, part of my self image was that everybody liked me. As soon as I felt like someone didn't like me, I woul be triggered by a slew of negative emotions, I'd get angry and frustrated and upset. It felt like the end of the world because to the part of myself that believes that he is liked by everybody, this was the end of its world. That part of me cannot stay intact if I experience it to not be true.

The Enlightened Path I am going down a road that no one goes down. I say this because if I didn't think of the enlightened path as something that few people attain, then I wouldn't pursue it. The fact that it is so rare makes it all the more alluring. I am going to be a person that no longer has images of himself attaining any ego-driven goal. All goals from here on out will be for the betterment of other. Let's just start there. This means no goals of seeing your face next to the most beautiful woman, or seeing yourself dancing attractively on a screen, or your face on Instagram with a bunch of medals for winning dance competitions. All goals have to be about other. Your ego, your self does not exist. Therefore, it does not need to be fed. You have been feeding it like a fat disgusting pig all your life. It is full enough to survive for weeks. It wants to puke everything up. The way the ego acts is disgusting. Selfish and maniacal.

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." - Rumi

It sounds like you died

Great job

Jed McKennas series The End of your world by Adyashanti Peter Ralston books

The motive is not to structure it yourself but to fully understand the structure of the self. Why has it been created in the way that it has? In order to do this, one has to detach from the self. It is impossible to examine the self without zooming out and looking at it objectively.

"Decreasing self increases consciousness" - Pursuing Consciousness page 86

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #61 - Feb 14 '25 12:00 pm Lower self: The self is a construction. It is not a real entity. Higher self: What makes a real entity? Lower self: A real entity is something that is true without a doubt, undoubtedly true. No ifs ands or buts. Higher self: So you are saying that a self is not a real truth... But why can't it be? Lower self: Because a real truth is something concrete, without a doubt true. A self is not real Higher self: Why is it not real? Lower self: When something is real, it is true. It is Truth. A self is something that I have constructed. What I mean by that is I have an opinion of myself, "I am below average height." This is a thought, it is a belief, they are merely words in my head. I couldn't possibly say that they are Truth because remember Truth is something that is true beyond any doubt, and if I just thought "I am tall" what's the difference there... Which statement is the true one? Higher self: The truth is being decided by you, by your own mind. Lower self: Yes, exactly. Therefore, the self cannot be Truth because I can decide what is true about the self. Its not a concrete truth if it is always changing and altering shape. Higher self: Okay, but what about the body? Lower self: What about it? Higher self: The body doesn't bend and change and alter shape, how do you rectify that? Lower self: Oh yes it does.... I was 8 pounds when I came out of my mother's womb, now I weigh 135 pounds. My body has been consistently changing for the past 29 years. Higher self: Okay... So then we have decided that the self is not Truth. Now Mr. Smart Guy, what do we do with that information? Lower self: I don't know. I have to contemplate that... Until next time.

@Hojo what do you chant?