Spiritual Warrior

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #150 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30 am: 1 Make bed: 11 Journal: 21 Brush teeth streak: 160 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 134 Meditation streak: 0 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 4 Wash face streak: 4 No electronics before bed: 1 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 164 No doom scrolling: 1 No Instagram: 1 No YouTube: 1 No Photos App scrolling: 1 No Spotify: 1 No smoking weed: 0 Eat 150g of protein: 0 Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 7 Things to Do: Cash in Disney shares - go to West Hartford on Tuesday to cash in shares Change lights on car Cash money dad gave you Things I want: Meditation chair Receiver for mouse Finances: 4/14 I am in debt with my parents again: $800 to my dad and $1,000 to my mom. As soon as I cash in the Disney shares I will have another $600 and I get paid $474. My mom also gave me $1,000 but this needs to go to my medical bills. I have $700 that I still need to pay, maybe I should use that money to completely pay that off. Probably a good idea. My mind is so fuckin' scattered right now and I have so much shit to do. Just do one thing at a time. I didn't tell you to take a nap, that was your decision. Workout Regimen: TOTAL WORKOUT SETS COMPLETED FOR WEEK OF 4/6: 12/16 - That's pretty good! Workout 1: Push (Monday) Barbell Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Incline Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Dumbbell Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Triceps Pushdown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 2: Legs (Tuesday) Barbell Squat 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Leg Curl 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Leg Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Lunge 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 3: Upper (Thursday) Seated Dumbbell Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Seated Cable Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Close-Grip Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Rear Lateral Raise 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 4: Pull (Friday) Barbell Deadlift 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps One-Arm Dumbbell Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Alternating DB Curl 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Goals in life: First tier (5 year goals): Have a shredded physique Workout 3-5 days a week Eat 150 g of protein a day Win dance competitions Compete in as many dance competitions as possible Get a coaching once a week Practice as much as I comfortably can Have full body orgasms while having sex, lasting at least 30 minutes Get in touch with energy fields while meditating Masturbate without stimulation and last as long as possible Buy a cute little house with a porch and outdoor bar Save up money and continue to grow income through dance Transition phase (5-10 years): Marry the girl of my dreams Second tier (10 year goals): Become an Arthur Murray dance studio owner Build lessons and events as quickly as possible Reach LOC 600 (non-dual state) Meditate every morning and read spiritual books every night Third tier (20 year goals): Open up a meditation center Daily meditation and save up money Write books about Truth and enlightenment Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Reach LOC 1,000 Daily meditation and reading spiritual books

Habits and Disciplines Journal Entry #1 Okay, it is 10.29.25 and I have realized that I have no discipline in my life which is setting me back from accomplishing my goals. Listed below are the habits that I would like to integrate as well as the reason for doing so: 1.Read when I get home (no electronics) this is for the purpose of having better sleep. I also have a larger vision of being very well educated, which starts with reading lots of books. Just a little bit every night will go a long ways 2.No sexual stimulation from internet No sexual stimulation from the internet. I see no benefit in watching porn, I have a history of being addicted to it and have therefore had struggles having an erection with a real woman, this is a no brainer. Stop with this nonsense. 3.Workout at gym 3 days a week Workout at the gym 3 days a week. I want to get really fuckin hot, like really fuckin hot. And the best way to do this as a man is to hit the gym and do it in a strategic and intelligent way. I am going to go 3 days a week, I am going to work out my chest on Monday at 11am - 12pm, this will be barbell bench press, dumbbell incline press, and that one with the cable that stretches your chest, it is going to be 4 sets and the first set is a warm up, so 3 real sets. Next is legs, I would like to use the angled leg Press, 4 sets, then the leg extensions, 4 sets, then use a calf machine, 4 sets again, next is back and arms. I want to start doing deadlifts again, I love deadlifts, then a barbell row and then a dumbell row, I really want to get my back jacked for dance. 4 sets of each again and this will be the workout routine for 3 months. Then I will have a de load week, in which I take the whole week off from weight training and I reevaluate how far I've come. I will also need to measure how much protein and carbs and calories that I am in taking and also weight myself on a daily basis so that I can track my progress 4.No ejaculating for 3 years No ejaculating for 3 years. This has to do with my goal of having sexual abundance in my life. I want to have sex with real woman, not with my own hand. Not ejaculating also gives me more energy to shift my focus into other things in life, such as having a bigger impact on people, reading books, meditating and overall being a healthier human that people look up to. I lead with integrity. 5. Approach and hit on 10 women every week for 1 year Approach and hit on 10 women every week, which would equate to 500 women on the year. This would be a great milestone for me and it would make me very proud. This coincides with the goal of wanting to have sexual abundance in my life. I want lots of sex with lots of women. That is what I genuinely want. I don't want to fake that anymore, I want this and therefore I will have it. Thank you God for allowing me to have an abundance of sex with an abundance of women. - Half time: as you can see, we already have an interrelated system at work, the no ejaculation goal supports the hitting on 10 women every week because not ejaculating will give me more motivation and energy and time to hit on several women a week, on the flip side if I hit on 10 women every week, watching porn and ejaculating becomes a lot less appealing, both cogs in the system are supporting each other. Nice job there. - 6. Eat 150 g of protein every single day I have learned that eating a lot of protein is imperative to building lots of muscle. I want to build lots of muscle in order to become the sexiest man I can be. This is required, therefore I have to eat enough protein. 7. Meditate every morning for 30 minutes moving past physical attractiveness, I want to be attractive in a sense that I am magnetic as a human being, people want to be around me, and I also want to be able to stay present and within the moment both for dance and also for the people around me, such as students and friends and family and co workers. The more I meditate, the higher my consciousness grows, and the more I understand the truth of reality, the more I am able to make an impact on the world. Overall, this is mainly for better mood and mental clarity, the motivation is NOT towards enlightenment, although I predict that is what it will turn into 8. Wake up at 7:30 am every day this challenge has two benefits: 1. It is going to build self discipline and character, and 2. I have to wake up that early in order to get everything done that I want to ( I've already mapped out my schedule accordingly) 9. Brush teeth morning and night this is also building self discipline and it is also for the betterment of my hygienic and overall health and well being. I am also a dance instructor, I work very close to people, therefore it is imperative that I have fresh breath. I may even want to pick up a toothbrush and toothpaste and keep it at the dance studio. 10. Floss teeth every morning another habit for self discipline and overall wellbeing 11. Shower and groom hair every morning this is similar to the last two, it is building character to stick to a habit. The main thing that I'm trying to do with this morning routine is that there are no grey areas here - no - I wake up at 7:30 am, I brush my teeth and floss, then I take a shower, then I groom my hair and beard, then I go downstairs and meditate for 30 minutes on the floor, then I do my push ups and pull ups, which is the next thing on this list and there is no wiggle room, there is no being wishy washy, no I am doing this every fucking day, I don't care if I get kidnapped and wake up in Antarctica, no - I am going to follow the same routine no matter what. Fuck variety - life is chock full of surprises, a routine keeps you grounded and focused and stable - this is the true masculine power - to have the self discipline to stick to this routine 12. Do 3 sets of push ups and 3 sets of pull ups every morning again, this is self discipline and it will also have a cumulative effect in turning me into a sexy, attractive man. I am going to make these things happen every single day like clock work. There are no excuses. It is time to start living with integrity and purpose and direction. This is the desire that I have been suppressing and distracting my self from with spiritual pursuits. I don’t really want to be enlightened, at least not yet. I have been using enlightenment as a distraction for many years because hitting on women and developing discipline in life is scarier and more uncomfortable to me than reading spiritual books and meditating. If I do these things, I will become the quintessential model of healthy masculinity. And this is what I truly want. I want to maximize my masculine energy to its absolute full potential. Then once I hit that peak, I will move into something more selfless, such as spiritual enlightenment, or whatever else I want to pursue. I am going to need a checklist that I have to check off every single day. This needs to be made public so that I can feel the embarrassment of missing a day. I want to do this on actualized.org, my favorite forum. Thank you God for allowing me to become aware of my authentic desire of being a vessel of healthy masculinity in this world. Thank you God for allowing me to create sexual abundance in my life. Thank you God for allowing me to create a life filled with love, laughter, joy, purpose, and gratitude. Listed below is my checklist for the first two days of my challenge. 10.31.25 Morning routine goals: Brush teeth Floss Shower Groom hair Eat breakfast Meditate Work out Night time routine goals: Brush teeth Wash face No electronics before bed "Whole day" goals: No porn No ejaculation Eat 150 g of protein Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week Approach 10 women I did a good job on everything except for no electronics before bed and eating 150 g of protein. I was on my phone before going to sleep and I am going to have to figure out how to incorporate 150 g of protein into my diet. The weekly goals are going to be assessed at the end of the week on Sunday. I am going to actually keep a counter of how many girls I have approached. I would also like to create a counter so that I can keep track of how many days I consecutively stuck to my habit. The higher the number, the more fulfilled I will feel.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #73 Tue April 14 - 10:35 AM Lower self: Higher self, who am I? Higher self: You are God, you are the eternal being that is an infinite shape shifter, you are beyond time and space, you are eternal, you have no name, you have no self, you are Nothingness. Lower self: But I can't experience this. Higher self: Why not? Lower self: Because I am Ben. I am a human being that experiences emotions and thought patterns and I love to dance and I have a family and friends. I certainly don't fee like God or an eternal being that is beyond time and space. How do you rectify that? Higher self: Those things are true in a relative sense, you are in a human body, this is correct, your name is Ben, this is correct, you have a family that raised you and loves you, this is also correct, you have friends that care about you, you have their contact information in your phone, you can text them whenever you want. But these are what we call relative truths, what we're focusing on are Absolute Truths. The Absolute Truth is that you are God. You are an eternal being. You are the One and Only Creator. And when I say You, I am talking about EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. We are ALL One and the Same. And in that sense Ben is God but when we talk like this, it's not Ben anymore, we're in a realm that is beyond labels. This is the non-dual realm. Lower self: But how do I experience this? I believe you, trust me I really do. I can see that you are full of so much wisdom and what you're saying does make sense. But I feel like I'm down here on the ground and you are flying up their near Saturn. How do we bridge the gap? You need to come down to my level so that we can have a real conversation. Higher self: I will attempt to come down to your level. What do you want from me, my son? Lower self: I want the experience that you're talking about, I want to experience this non-dual realm, this realm of Nothingness. Without the experience, I have nothing to grasp. Higher self: Ahhhh.... But that is precisely the problem my dear, there is NOTHING to grasp. Let go of your wanting to grasp and hold onto things. Let go. Let it all go and you find what you're looking for. Lower self: Okay... Understood... But how do I let go?

This is my first honest attempt at doing spiritual autolysis. This is a method to attaining truth- realization coined by Jed McKenna. "Autolysis" means self-digestion, and "Spiritual" means the level of self that encompasses the mental, physical and emotional aspects. All you really have to do is write the truth. Just write down what you know is true, or what you think is true, and just keeping writing, until you come up with something that is true. Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #1 - Wed Apr 19 '23 - 8:28 AM Lower self: I am a human being. My name is Ben. I know that I am a human being because I was told that I am a human being from my schooling and my parents and everyone else within society. I am told that we as human beings have evolved from chimpanzees or bonobos. Higher self: Okay... do you have any direct experience of yourself as being a human being? Lower self: No... this is just what I have been told. Higher self: Okay... then how do you know that it is true? Lower self: Well... I don't. I am just trusting what other people have told me. Higher self: Okay, then we agree that you do not know for a fact that you are a human being? Lower self: Yes. I agree... My name is Ben though. I was given this name from my parents when I first came out of the womb. Higher self: Have you ever experienced what it means to be Ben? Lower self: Well... I have a bunch of beliefs and pictures in my head that I feel like embody who I, or Ben is as a person, i.e. what Ben is good at, what he's bad at, which people are my best friends, who Ben's family is, etc. Higher self: Okay... Would you agree that these are all just beliefs and pictures in your head, this Ben cannot be a truth within the universe. There is nothing fundamental about it. You do not know what it is like to be Ben. These are all just fictions in your head, beliefs about yourself, there is no being to speak of. Lower self: Yes, I agree. I am starting to see a recurring pattern here. Does the truth lie within being? Higher self: Yes, I think so. Lower self: Well how do you know? Higher self: Well... I don't know, it just seems like the correct way of thinking about things. If all of these beliefs and fictions in our heads are just that, fictions like Pete Ralston has talked about, then how else are we going to come to the truth about things. Lower self: First off, you are putting your faith in Peter Ralston too much. How do you know what he is saying is true? Higher self: You're right, I don't. I want to question what he is saying as well. But... we have already established that there is no inherent truth to the Ben label or the human being label, correct? And this has been established because when we boil down the human being label, this is just a label that other people have come up with in order to label what this species should be called. We call this species human beings. No pure truth to this. Just a label. Same with the beliefs that you hold about Ben, no pure, fundamental truth there either. That is what this work is all about, cutting past all of the bullshit labels and getting to what is truly TRUE. That is what we are after here, and I think this was a good start young Padawan. Lower self: Thank you When will we speak again? Higher self: When you are ready.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #72 Mon April 13 - 8:12 AM I Am the One God, I Am the One Creator Lower self: Am I the creator of my life? Am I the true creator? I mean I am God so that means that I must be the Creator as well. The One that creates things. Higher self: I Am the One God, I Am The One Creator, I can create anything that I'd like to create. What do you want my son? Lower self: I want to be with you and only you. For the rest of my life. I want to give you endless orgasms, endless pleasure, I want your abdomen to shake when I put my tongue to your lips. But how do you know that I am One with You? Higher self: There is only One singular thing. Nothing is outside of it. Lower self: But what does that mean? Higher self: It means that you are It. You are Everything precisely because you are that One thing. You are that thief stealing candy from a grocery store. You are that beautiful woman you have a crush on. You are that frog leaping from lily pad to lily pad. You are that prostitute selling her body off to men. You are that poor defenseless girl getting rape by a sexually frustrated man. You are Everyone and Everything. And It is nothing. It's out there. It's a thing but it's also not a thing. It's a paradox. Have you heard of those? Lower self: Yeah I have, but what is a paradox again? Higher self: It's something that makes sense but doesn't but also DEFINITELY makes sense. Like it doesn't sound true, but at the same time, you have this intuitive sense that it is True. Because it just must be True. Lower self: And what does it mean when something is True? Higher self: It is True because it is beyond a doubt, there are no ifs ands or buts. The reality is that you will die one day. The sooner you accept that Truth, the sooner you can swallow that, the sooner we can get to the REALLY good stuff. Lower self: And what does that mean, the REALLY good stuff? Higher self: Don't you want to be a dance champion? Lower self: Yeah. For sure. Without a doubt. Higher self: Then that is your Truth. Therefore you will have it. Lower self: But how do I know that I won't be disappointed? Higher self: Because YOU are the creator. Its your life. YOU create the disappointment or the success. Its up to YOU. Lower self: Yes, but there are other factors within the universe that could deter me from achieving what I want. Higher self: No theres not. There are no obstacles. The only thing that could change are your desires. But you can choose them because are are the Creator.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #149 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30 am: 0 Make bed: 10 Journal: 20 Brush teeth streak: 159 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 133 Meditation streak: 0 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 3 No electronics before bed: 0 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 163 No doom scrolling: 0 No Instagram: 0 No YouTube: 0 No Photos App scrolling: 0 No Spotify: 0 No smoking weed: 0 Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 7 Things to Do: Call insurance to see if they cover this "consultation call" - will call Monday Cash in Disney shares - go to West Hartford on Tuesday to cash in shares Change lights on car Things I want: Meditation chair Receiver for mouse Finances: 4/13 Checking: -400 I need to borrow money from my parents 😭 Spending so far: $141/100 Upcoming financial events: +$474 income on 4/15 Workout Regimen: TOTAL WORKOUT SETS COMPLETED FOR WEEK OF 4/6: 12/16 - That's pretty good! Workout 1: Push (Monday) Barbell Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Incline Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Dumbbell Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Triceps Pushdown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 2: Legs (Tuesday) Barbell Squat 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Leg Curl 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Leg Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Lunge 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 3: Upper (Thursday) Seated Dumbbell Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Seated Cable Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Close-Grip Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Rear Lateral Raise 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 4: Pull (Friday) Barbell Deadlift 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps One-Arm Dumbbell Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Alternating DB Curl 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Goals in life: First tier (5 year goals): Have a shredded physique Workout 3-5 days a week Eat 150 g of protein a day Win dance competitions Compete in as many dance competitions as possible Get a coaching once a week Practice as much as I comfortably can Have full body orgasms while having sex, lasting at least 30 minutes Get in touch with energy fields while meditating Masturbate without stimulation and last as long as possible Buy a cute little house with a porch and outdoor bar Save up money and continue to grow income through dance Transition phase (5-10 years): Marry the girl of my dreams Second tier (10 year goals): Become an Arthur Murray dance studio owner Build lessons and events as quickly as possible Reach LOC 600 (non-dual state) Meditate every morning and read spiritual books every night Third tier (20 year goals): Open up a meditation center Daily meditation and save up money Write books about Truth and enlightenment Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Reach LOC 1,000 Daily meditation and reading spiritual books

Interlude: just took some shrooms and I am really into mindfulness and upgrading my physique ~ 4.11.26 I'm not exactly sure where my life is heading but as you can see from my daily posts lately I have very specific and long term goals. Will I actually achieve them? I will let my Creator be the decider of that. All I can do is continue to paddle my little boat down the stream. Wish me luck! This is me and my niece

Interlude: another approach ~ 4.11.26 I managed to make what I would call my 7th approach today. I was on a train heading to Long Island and a girl sits next to me. We talk the whole ride, I actually missed my stop because I was so engrossed in the conversation. Before I got off, I said "I had a lot of fun talking to you, do you want to hang out sometime." She said, "no, we live far away from each other," In a feeling bad sort of way. (We don't actually live that far away from each other, it's only 45 minutes.) So she doesn't want to see me again. Immediately I am triggered emotionally, trying to play it off like I'm not hurt by this. Luckily, I had to get off the train rather quickly so I didn't have to experience the emotions I was feeling while right next to her. I just don't understand whats wrong with me. Why do these women not even give me a chance? It's times like these that I doubt myself and feel inferior and not worthy of a partner. This shit hurts. At the same time, I know this is the path that I have to go down. My creator has a reason for putting me into these situations and emotional turmoil. I am taking a ferry to visit my sister right now, I'm just going to experience the emotional state that I'm in and read some of my book, A Million Thoughts. I also had a really good idea, I want to do a 20 minute reading session and then a 20 minute meditation session and go back and forth with that. You will get past this emotional state, keep your head up champ. The next step for you is to be able to have the emotional mastery to let go of the emotional state that the rejection put you in and move on immediately. Try it. Ready. Go.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #148 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30 am: 0 Make bed: 8 Journal: 18 Brush teeth streak: 157 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 131 Meditation streak: 6 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed: 0 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 161 No doom scrolling: 5 No Instagram: 4 No YouTube: 0 No Photos App scrolling: 4 No Spotify: 4 No smoking weed: 4 Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 6 Things to Do: Call insurance to see if they cover this "consultation call" - will call Monday Cash in Disney shares - go to West Hartford on Monday to cash in shares Change lights on car Things I want: Meditation chair Receive for mouse Finances: 4/11 Checking: $383 Spending so far: $141/100 Upcoming financial events: -$40 for ferry and food on 4/11 -$100 for groceries on 4/12 +$50 on 4/13 for internet -$819 for taxes on 4/15 +$474 income on 4/15 As it stands I will be at -$52 on Wednesday, not good. I also found out that I have until May 28th until my global holdings payments end. I originally thought that they ended in March. Let's put that in the calendar. You should also put in your health care bills, $90 a month. Workout Regimen: TOTAL WORKOUT SETS COMPLETED FOR WEEK OF 4/6: 12/16 - That's pretty good! Workout 1: Push (Monday) Barbell Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Incline Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 95/8 95/9 115/6 Dumbbell Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Triceps Pushdown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 40/8 40/6 40/6 Workout 2: Legs (Tuesday) Barbell Squat 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 45/17 95/8 95/8 115/6 Leg Curl 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 75/8 60/11 75/8 Leg Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 140/10 180/7 180/7 DB Lunge 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 15/11 15/10 15/12 Workout 3: Upper (Thursday) Seated Dumbbell Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 30/12 30/12 35/7 Seated Cable Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 70/9 85/15 100/11 Close-Grip Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 95/10 95/14 105/11 DB Rear Lateral Raise 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 15/10 15/11 15/10 Workout 4: Pull (Friday) Barbell Deadlift 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 95/10 115/8 135/6 One-Arm Dumbbell Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps 40/R10 L11 Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 100/10 100/10 115/7 Alternating DB Curl 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Goals in life: First tier (5 year goals): Have a shredded physique Workout 3-5 days a week Eat 150 g of protein a day Win dance competitions Compete in as many dance competitions as possible Get a coaching once a week Practice as much as I comfortably can Become a “player” that has sex with lots of women Go out to Boston every weekend and talk to women Go out salsa dancing Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights Have a Youtube channel in which I talk about masculinity and I approach women “in the field” Start recording yourself talking about things Start recording yourself going out and talking to people Have full body orgasms while having sex, lasting at least 30 minutes Get in touch with energy fields while meditating Masturbate without stimulation and last as long as possible Buy a cute little house with a porch and outdoor bar Save up money and continue to grow income through dance and YouTube Transition phase (5-10 years): Marry the girl of my dreams Second tier (10 year goals): Become an Arthur Murray dance studio owner Build lessons and events as quickly as possible Reach LOC 600 (non-dual state) Meditate every morning and read spiritual books every night Third tier (20 year goals): Open up a meditation center Daily meditation and save up money Write books about Truth and enlightenment Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Reach LOC 1,000 Daily meditation and reading spiritual books

Interlude: projects for when I'm recovering from surgery ~ 4.10.26 I want to read all of Susan cook Greuters paper on ego development. I want to continue to make a visual book summary of Thick Face Black Heart. I want to continue to have a routine that I follow to the tee. I want to continue to meditate daily maybe even pushing for an hour or so. I want to create a system for building lessons, projects for students. Above all else, I want to be disciplined and organized and stick to routines and hold myself accountable. I want to do leg exercises and core exercises, ones that will not effect my sternum. I could absolutely shred out my legs. It's funny because I have a no YouTube habit tracker yet I am putting YouTube videos in my journals. I am a hypocrite. Right now, I am getting an ego backlash from all of the changes that I am making. Again, no more doom scrolling, no more YouTube, no more Instagram, no more Spotify, all of these things are getting tossed out the window and my mind doesn't like that. I also want to get in the shower at 7:30 am every day. Again, my ego does not like that.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #147 I am so fuckin pissed off right now.. And really for no reason at all. I woke up at like 4 AM this morning and Im just laying there allowing my mind to go crazy. Everything feels unfair. But its your job to release your emotional states so that you can get the things done that you want to get done. Stop falling victim to emotional states that fluctuate and that are going to hold you back from accomplishing your goals. I hate my co worker right now because shes doing better than me and this one couple that I thought really liked me wants to work with her instead of me. Why am I so selfish? Why does she trigger me so much. I fuckin hate this girl and she doesn't deserve it. Fuck this. Fuck that. I HATE EVERYTHING right now. And three days ago, I was in such a loving state... strange... very strange... I think the mind has a tantrum when things start to change in his life. The I-Self is a little bastard that can't handle change, he loathes it and he takes his problems out onto the world. Continue to create difference between your true Self and the I-thought and you will be able to see him for who he truly is, a scared little gremlin that is terrified of death. What should I do when I wake up at an ungodly hour? Should I just get up? Should I lay there and wait to fall back asleep? Honestly I think I should just get up, get your ass up and shower and then come back and meditate. I really want a meditation chair. Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30 am: 0 Make bed: 7 Journal: 17 Brush teeth streak: 156 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 130 Meditation streak: 5 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed: 0 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 160 No doom scrolling: 4 No Instagram: 3 No YouTube: 3 No Photos App: 3 No Spotify: 3 No smoking weed: 3 Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 6 Things to Do: Call Mariott Albany to get vest She is going to call me back in an hour - they dont have it Call insurance to see if they cover this "consultation call" Cash in Disney shares - get birth certificate from dad I got the birth certificate, now I have to go back to West Hartford to cash it - maybe on Monday? Call Geico to make sure policy will not be canceled Change lights on car Things I want: Meditation chair Receive for mouse Finances: 4/10 Checking: $427 Spending so far: $101/100 Upcoming expenses: $819 taken out of account on 4/15 $60 for ferry and food on 4/11 $100 for groceries on 4/12 $50 for gas on 4/12 Total expenses: $1029 Total in checking account: $1103 This means that I can pay my taxes with $74 to spare, a very small window. And then I will have to pay $20 for a dance coaching and then over the weekend I have to pay $100 for groceries and $50 for gas and $30 for Korean BBQ. This puts me in the negatives at -$126. This means that I will have to work for my parents or do some doordash or both so that I can make ends meet. Which day or days can I work so that I can make this shit work? So the struggle will be from 4/15 to 4/21. I will have $74 in which on Saturday I will have to pay for Korean BBQ which is $30. Hold on a minute, there is also a $90 charge paying back health bills ... fuck... that I NEED to get those shares deposited at Fidelity in WEHA or I will not be able to pay my bills. Workout Regimen: Workout 1: Push (Monday) Barbell Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Incline Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 95/8 95/9 115/6 Dumbbell Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Triceps Pushdown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 40/8 40/6 40/6 Workout 2: Legs (Tuesday) Barbell Squat 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 45/17 95/8 95/8 115/6 Leg Curl 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 75/8 60/11 75/8 Leg Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 140/10 180/7 180/7 DB Lunge 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 15/11 15/10 15/12 Workout 3: Upper (Thursday) Seated Dumbbell Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 30/12 30/12 35/7 Seated Cable Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 70/9 85/15 100/11 Close-Grip Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 95/10 95/14 105/11 DB Rear Lateral Raise 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 15/10 15/11 15/10 Workout 4: Pull (Friday) Barbell Deadlift 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 95/10 115/8 135/6 One-Arm Dumbbell Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps 40/R10 L11 Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 100/10 100/10 115/7 Alternating DB Curl 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Goals in life: First tier (5 year goals): Have a shredded physique Workout 3-5 days a week Eat 150 g of protein a day Win dance competitions Compete in as many dance competitions as possible Get a coaching once a week Practice as much as I comfortably can Become a “player” that has sex with lots of women Go out to Boston every weekend and talk to women Go out salsa dancing Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights Have a Youtube channel in which I talk about masculinity and I approach women “in the field” Start recording yourself talking about things Start recording yourself going out and talking to people Have full body orgasms while having sex, lasting at least 30 minutes Get in touch with energy fields while meditating Masturbate without stimulation and last as long as possible Buy a cute little house with a porch and outdoor bar Save up money and continue to grow income through dance and YouTube Transition phase (5-10 years): Marry the girl of my dreams Second tier (10 year goals): Become an Arthur Murray dance studio owner Build lessons and events as quickly as possible Reach LOC 600 (non-dual state) Meditate every morning and read spiritual books every night Third tier (20 year goals): Open up a meditation center Daily meditation and save up money Write books about Truth and enlightenment Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Reach LOC 1,000 Daily meditation and reading spiritual books

Interlude: my emotional state and thoughts right now - 4.9.26 I don't give a fuck about anything or anyone right now. I actually hate everybody right now. Contrast this emotional state to yesterday in which I was in such a happy mood, I loved everybody, I was fully present, fully expressive and hopeful for the future. A complete 180 degree turn and this is one day later. Working out will help and I am at the gym right now. My current emotional state is not ideal, but... I will say that it is MUCH better than a nihilistic, what's the point in anything emotional state, I've experienced that many times. My current emotional state is that of I want to get shit done, everybody get the fuck out of my way, I don't fuck with ANY of you. This drives you to be task focused and tackling shit, but it makes you not a please t person to be around. Hopefully I can turn this around before my lesson starts for the day, and if not, that's okay, your lesson will be very task focused, which is still beneficial. Okay, let's get our work out in. Ready. Go.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #146 I am now going to take a break from certain people in my life. I am not going to text them, I am not going to waste my mental energy on them as they give me nothing in return. I am efficient and effective in my mental chatter and in my behaviors and actions. I am a man that holds space. I am a man that is happy and independent from outcome. I don't need you. I hold space on my own. I don't fidget, I stay centered and grounded. I love myself with all of my heart as well as the entire human species. I wish you the best. I understand your selfish behaviors because I know you don't know any better. You hurt others out of your own hurt and I am sorry, I feel your pain and I hope you get past it. 4.8.26 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30 am: 2 Make bed: 6 Journal: 16 Brush teeth streak: 155 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 129 Meditation streak: 4 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 4 Wash face streak: 4 No electronics before bed: 4 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 159 No doom scrolling: 3 No Instagram: 2 No YouTube: 2 No Photos App: 2 No Spotify: 2 No smoking weed: 2 Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 6 I am going to do this stuff today Things to Do: Call Mariott Albany to get vest She is going to call me back in an hour Call insurance to see if they cover this "consultation call" Cash in Disney shares - get birth certificate from dad Call Geico to make sure policy will not be canceled Change lights on car Finances: 4/9 Checking: $629 Spending so far: $101/100 Upcoming expenses: $819 taken out of account on 4/15 $60 for ferry and food on 4/11 $100 for groceries on 4/12 $50 for gas on 4/12 Total expenses: $1029 Total in checking account: $1103 This means that I can pay my taxes with $74 to spare, a very small window. And then I will have to pay $20 for a dance coaching and then over the weekend I have to pay $100 for groceries and $50 for gas and $30 for Korean BBQ. This puts me in the negatives at -$126. This means that I will have to work for my parents or do some doordash or both so that I can make ends meet. Which day or days can I work so that I can make this shit work? So the struggle will be from 4/15 to 4/21. I will have $74 in which on Saturday I will have to pay for Korean BBQ which is $30. Hold on a minute, there is also a $90 charge paying back health bills ... fuck... that Workout Regimen: Workout 1: Push (Monday) Barbell Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Incline Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 95/8 95/9 115/6 Dumbbell Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Triceps Pushdown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 40/8 40/6 40/6 Workout 2: Legs (Tuesday) Barbell Squat 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 45/17 95/8 95/8 115/6 Leg Curl 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 75/8 60/11 75/8 Leg Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 140/10 180/7 180/7 DB Lunge 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 15/11 15/10 15/12 Workout 3: Upper (Thursday) Seated Dumbbell Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 30/12 30/12 35/7 Seated Cable Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 70/9 85/15 100/11 Close-Grip Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 95/10 95/14 105/11 DB Rear Lateral Raise 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 15/10 15/11 15/10 Workout 4: Pull (Friday) Barbell Deadlift 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps One-Arm Dumbbell Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Alternating DB Curl 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Goals in life: First tier (5 year goals): Have a shredded physique Workout 3-5 days a week Eat 150 g of protein a day Win dance competitions Compete in as many dance competitions as possible Get a coaching once a week Practice as much as I comfortably can Become a “player” that has sex with lots of women Go out to Boston every weekend and talk to women Go out salsa dancing Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights Have a Youtube channel in which I talk about masculinity and I approach women “in the field” Start recording yourself talking about things Start recording yourself going out and talking to people Have full body orgasms while having sex, lasting at least 30 minutes Get in touch with energy fields while meditating Masturbate without stimulation and last as long as possible Buy a cute little house with a porch and outdoor bar Save up money and continue to grow income through dance and YouTube Transition phase (5-10 years): Marry the girl of my dreams Second tier (10 year goals): Become an Arthur Murray dance studio owner Build lessons and events as quickly as possible Reach LOC 600 (non-dual state) Meditate every morning and read spiritual books every night Third tier (20 year goals): Open up a meditation center Daily meditation and save up money Write books about Truth and enlightenment Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Reach LOC 1,000 Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Final thoughts: You are going to see me transform from a caterpillar into a gorgeous butterfly that understands reality better than most human beings. That is happier and content with everything that is going on in his life. Continue to follow this journal and you will see someone that turned his life from something mediocre to something truly extraordinary. Stay tuned.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #145 4.7.26 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30 am: 1 Make bed: 5 Journal: 15 Brush teeth streak: 154 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 128 Meditation streak: 3 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 3 No electronics before bed: 3 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 158 No doom scrolling: 2 No Instagram: 1 No YouTube: 1 No Photos App: 1 No Spotify: 1 No smoking weed: 1 Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 6 Things to Do: Call Mariott Albany to get vest Call insurance to see if they cover this "consultation call" Cash in Disney shares - get birth certificate from dad Finances: 4/8 Checking: $669 Spending so far: $81/100 Upcoming expenses: $819 taken out of account on 4/15 and I $60 for ferry and food on 4/11 $100 for groceries on 4/12 $50 for gas on 4/12 Total expenses: $1029 Total in checking account: $1169 This means that I can pay my taxes with $140 to spare, a very small window. Workout Regimen: Workout 1: Push (Monday) Barbell Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Incline Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 95/8 95/9 115/6 Dumbbell Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Triceps Pushdown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 40/8 40/6 40/6 Workout 2: Legs (Tuesday) Barbell Squat 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 45/17 95/8 95/8 115/6 Leg Curl 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 75/8 60/11 75/8 Leg Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 140/10 180/7 180/7 DB Lunge 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 15/11 15/10 15/12 Workout 3: Upper (Thursday) Seated Dumbbell Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Seated Cable Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Close-Grip Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Rear Lateral Raise 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 4: Pull (Friday) Barbell Deadlift 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps One-Arm Dumbbell Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Alternating DB Curl 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Goals in life: First tier (5 year goals): Have a shredded physique Workout 3-5 days a week Eat 150 g of protein a day Win dance competitions Compete in as many dance competitions as possible Get a coaching once a week Practice as much as I comfortably can Become a “player” that has sex with lots of women Go out to Boston every weekend and talk to women Go out salsa dancing Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights Have a Youtube channel in which I talk about masculinity and I approach women “in the field” Start recording yourself talking about things Start recording yourself going out and talking to people Have full body orgasms while having sex, last for at least 30 minutes Get in touch with energy fields while meditating Masturbate without stimulation and last as long as possible Buy a cute little house with a porch and outdoor bar Save up money and continue to grow income through dance and YouTube Transition phase (5-10 years): Marry the girl of my dreams Second tier (10 year goals): Become an Arthur Murray dance studio owner Build lessons and events as quickly as possible Reach LOC 600 (non-dual state) Meditate every morning and read spiritual books every night Third tier (20 year goals): Open up a meditation center Daily meditation and save up money Write books about Truth and enlightenment Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Reach LOC 1,000 Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Good luck 😜

I don't watch porn I don't doom scroll I don't use my phone before going to bed I don't drink alcohol I don't smoke weed I don't belittle myself

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #144 Ahhhhh fuck dude. I have no discipline. How do I get that? I want to be disciplined. I want to be organized. I want to understand my own mind and emotional state. I want to get enough sleep. I want to feel well rested and happy. I want to do things when they're supposed to get done. Tomorrow morning, I am going to wake up at 7:30 am and jump in the shower. Then I am going to meditate until 8:30. Then I am going to eat breakfast and journal, then make sure that I am ready to head off to work, then I leave at 9:30 am and get to my dance training at 10:00 am. I allow my mind to do whatever it feels like. That is my problem right now. Stay disciplined so that you can accomplish your goals. I am going to prioritize women that are actually a positive force in my life. This one girl is NOT a positive force, she is a fuckin' mess, stay away from her, shes a crazy bitch. 4.5.26 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30 am: 0 Make bed: 4 Journal: 14 Brush teeth streak: 153 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 127 Meditation streak: 2 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed: 2 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 157 No doom scrolling: 1 No Instagram: No YouTube: No Photos App: No Spotify: No smoking weed: Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 6 Things to Do: Call Mariott Albany to get vest Call insurance to see if they cover this "consultation call" Cash in Disney shares - get birth certificate from dad Finances: Week of 4/6: Checking: 245.68 Spending so far: $75/100 Important: $819 taken out of account on 4/13 - I will not have enough to pay for this if I don't do anything about it soon Workout Regimen: Workout 1: Push (Monday) Barbell Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Incline Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 95/8 95/9 115/6 Dumbbell Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Triceps Pushdown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 40/8 40/6 40/6 Workout 2: Legs (Tuesday) Barbell Squat 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 45/17 95/8 95/8 115/6 Leg Curl 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps: 75/8 60/11 75/8 Leg Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 140/10 180/7 180/7 DB Lunge 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps: 15/11 15/10 15/12 Workout 3: Upper (Thursday) Seated Dumbbell Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Seated Cable Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Close-Grip Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Rear Lateral Raise 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 4: Pull (Friday) Barbell Deadlift 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps One-Arm Dumbbell Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Alternating DB Curl 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Goals in life: First tier (5 year goals): Have a shredded physique Workout 3-5 days a week Eat 150 g of protein a day Win dance competitions Compete in as many dance competitions as possible Get a coaching once a week Practice as much as I comfortably can Become a “player” that has sex with lots of women Go out to Boston every weekend and talk to women Go out salsa dancing Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights Have a Youtube channel in which I talk about masculinity and I approach women “in the field” Start recording yourself talking about things Start recording yourself going out and talking to people Have full body orgasms while having sex, last for at least 30 minutes Get in touch with energy fields while meditating Masturbate without stimulation and last as long as possible Buy a cute little house with a porch and outdoor bar Save up money and continue to grow income through dance and YouTube Transition phase (5-10 years): Marry the girl of my dreams Second tier (10 year goals): Become an Arthur Murray dance studio owner Build lessons and events as quickly as possible Reach LOC 600 (non-dual state) Meditate every morning and read spiritual books every night Third tier (20 year goals): Open up a meditation center Daily meditation and save up money Write books about Truth and enlightenment Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Reach LOC 1,000 Daily meditation and reading spiritual books

What are you proud of? As self help junkies, we tend to look for things to improve upon, but it is just as important to be proud of the things that you have accomplished. Please share some things that you are proud of about yourself. Here is my list: I am proud of... The fact that my socializing skills has significantly improved. I am much more likely to talk to strangers at the gym or in a grocery store. I used to feel so quiet and reserved, now I say what's on my mind. The fact that I am competing and placing in these dance competitions, it was difficult to imagine getting to this point a couple of years ago but here I am. My emotional mastery progress, I am much more in tuned with my emotions and allowing them to pass through me is much easier. I am proud of myself for attracting a good looking woman into my life.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #143 When does the rubber meet the road? And what does that even mean? The rubber hits the road when you are truly ready to take your first step on this journey. Of course, you are already on your journey, and as a matter of fact you really can't get off. You are cruising down this road until the Creator tells you its time to get off. What do you want more than anything? I want to have good game. I want to be able to attract an abundance of women into my life all by myself. I want to teach on average 20 lessons a week, consistently. Who are the solid students that I have once I get back from surgery? Daniela, Mike, Mary Ann, Jackson and Tina, Pam L, Tanya, Katie, Kiyah.. And that is really it. What are you mad about right now? You are living the dream. You are building a life that is fulfilling and that you are ver proud of. Whats the issue? I just feel like these other teachers are getting more opportunities than me. Okay, first of all, thats really not true at all. But I feel like the outsider, with so few lessons and I've been here a long time, its embarrassing. Dude shut the fuck up. Okay, you know what, could you release this feeling? Yes, but I don't want to. You want to stay mad? Yes... Its serving a purpose.. What purpose is that? If I am being treated unfairly, I want to know so that I can take action. How are you being treated unfairly? The success at this dance studio is COMPLETELY up to you. You can be frustrated with the lack of pay all you want, but their is a path to making more money, you just need to be strategic and understand that this requires strategy and hard work. Do you feel better now? A little bit. Now, I will ask again, can you release the way you are feeling? Yes, yes I can. Would you release it? Yes, I release it. "I don't want any of them to succeed. I want my self and only myself to succeed." That is the thought that just ran through my head. Embarrassing huh? Why do I think like this? I care about these people, why do I not root for their success. For some reason, I think that there success has a detrimental effect on my success, which actually doesn't even make any sense. We lift each other up, not tear each other down. But I'm still feeling frustrated, and you know what? Thats okay. Lean into it, let it fuel you. Thats what we're going to do today. 4.4.26 Morning Routine: Make bed: 3 Journal: 13 Brush teeth streak: 152 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 126 Meditation streak: 1 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed: 1 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 156 No doom scrolling: 0 Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 6

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #142 Our culture seems to be sex - obsessed. Why is that? Sex is directly tied to our survival mechanism. What is a survival mechanism? A survival mechanism is what keeps us alive. It is what keeps our heart beating. It keeps the breath in motion, in and out, in and out. What is something that threatens your survival as a human being? Being banished from my tribe - I am dependent upon others to survive, I therefore have to act in a certain way in order to get along with others. This makes social situations of the utmost importance to me. I don't want to embarass myself and be disapproved of because it will threaten my survive as this human being form. What is a human beings' form? He is in this body. He is experiencing things. With a mind and hands and feet and a heart. He can think for himself and control his actions. He can think one thing or another. He can read this book or that book. Where do the thoughts come from? They appear out of thin air. I don't see them coming, they just come. They appear in my mind for processing. But I don't really process them or even witness them, I allow them to run my body, this body that I identify with. I am trying to witness my thoughts, but I tend to get wrapped up in them more often than not. How do I rid myself of these thoughts? You can't. You need them in order to survive. But how do you know that? If I am hungry, my thoughts tell me to eat, I see a picture of food, I see some milk and an omelet. But this is not what tells me to eat, its the feeling or sensation in the body that lets me know if something is awry... So maybe I should steer more towards FEELING the body instead of having so much energy inside of my head. I REALLY want to start masturbating without external stimulation. 4.3.26 Morning Routine: Make bed: 2 Journal: 12 Brush teeth streak: 151 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 125 Meditation streak: 0 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed: 0 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 155 Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 6

I am very out of the loop when it comes to news. Can someone please explain to me why the U.S. is at war with Iran? Please and thank you 🙂

Interlude: Crazy Girl ~ 4.4.26 I want to live on a ranch. With chickens and cows. That is how I want to settle down. And out of all the girls that I've met, you truly are my favorite. You can create whatever scenario you want for yourself. This is overwhelming actually. Insanely overwhelming. But YOU have the power. You and your thoughts. But right now, I want something else.. I want a sexually charged toxic relationship. One that is going to burn me to the core. I want that. I want a crazy ass girl. So come on out crazy girl, I'm ready for you. Dramatic Girl The world is vast Unapologetic I wish you well Take off the mask No more disguise I see your lies A problem girl Her day ones know Her family knows She has her vices Who am I to judge She's tucked away Somewhere remote I've been enlightened The sweetest hope

I think this is the winner right here

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #141 Okay, so I am finally getting things in order at the crib. My room is FINALLY clean. It's been messy for WEEKS. Not ideal. Now, it's time to start setting up your life for efficient and effective growth as well as happiness. Yesterday, I posted a video documenting my intentions to embark on a cold approaching journey. I am very excited to see where that goes. This is a positive step in the right direction for me. Now, id also really like to set up a gym routine so that I am holding myself accountable and going to the gym. I also want to create a routine in which I am working on my dancing and/or choreography at certain times throughout the work day, I want to devote some time to working with Izzy on certification dance training, devote some time to work with Sarah on a bolero solo, and also devote some time for cold approaching as well as dates throughout the week. Okay, so there's lots that I would like to balance. Let's start out with the work schedule and see how we can fit things together. Actually, let's start with today: I go into work at 1 o'clock, but I have to dog sit this weekend and I am going to get paid $200. This means that I have to get there by 12 o'clock so that I can walk the dog for 30 minutes before I leave, which means I have to leave here by 11:30. I can eat what my friends dad left in the fridge for me before I leave. I am going to pack up some chicken and bring that minute rice and that's what I'm going to eat today. Eventually, I want a consistent meal plan that I create myself. Okay, so that takes care of that, so you're gonna work and then you'll come back to his house and go to sleep there. I would love to bring my kindle with me. What am I going to do about the porn watching? I have changed my view on semen retention. I am not quite sure if it really benefits me to hold in my semen all the time, I think I need to ejaculate, but I'm not sure. What should I do? Well you definitely want to last a long time, I wish you could just masturbate without stimulation because you're trying to use your phone less. Can you try that tonight? Try to masturbate without any external stimulus and see how that goes. The ultimate goal is to be able to last as long as possible and to have full body orgasms. This requires mindfulness and lots of it and also an awareness of the energy channels within your body, yes let's try that tonight and hopefully we can create a schedule. I think i want to start selling some of my books and my MacBook. There are plenty of books that I am not currently using that I could make some money on and my MacBook would certainly sell. Let's look into that tomorrow. I also have a dance practice tomorrow with Sarah, this is our first one together. This means that I have to leave Shane's by 10 o'clock am. And I also want to start working out. I REALLY want to start tomorrow because it's been so long, but that means I have to create a meal plan for myself, maybe I should buy one of those mini scales so that I can weigh out my portions... Maybe. I have an entire rotisserie chicken is the thing. And I have some kombucha. I would love to bring my blender to make protein shakes but then I don't have the ingredients that I need which means I'd have to wake up early tomorrow. God damnit I wish I was off tomorrow so that I can figure it out. I mean you are off, it's just that life is always moving, so get your shit together during these small lapses in responsibility. Okay fine... So in reality when I'm back at home I want to have some chicken thighs and some protein shakes and some rice and some bean salad to get me through the days, but while I'm dog sitting I will have to live off of rotisserie chicken and kombucha and minute rice. Okay, so I would really love to get a meditation habit going. This is of the utmost important. What else is supper important to you? Making the bed and showering and journaling. And I also want no electronics before bed. 4.2.26 Morning Routine: Make bed: 1 Journal: 11 Brush teeth streak: 150 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 124 Meditation streak: 0 Nighttime Routine Goals: Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed: 0 "Whole day" goals: No alcohol streak: 154 Dating Goals: Total number of women cold approached: 6

Okay, so I have a plethora of things to work on. Firstly, I really want to get back on track with this habit tracker. I just want to be clear headed and highly conscious and for everything to be clean. I want to be on top of things, to have a REAL handle on my life and my schedule and my environemnt. I don't think I've ever actually experienced this, is it even possible? I'd like to think that it is. Okay, but where does it start. What are you going to start with? First, what do you want big picture? Women / Dating: 1. I want to have an abundance of sex with an abundance of women. 2. I want to have a highly conscious girlfriend 3. I want to have a highly consious wife that I can build a life with Living situation: 1. Clean and organized room 2. Apartment that I can bring girls back to 3. House with a backyard and back porch Physique: 1. Consistent workout schedule / Meal Plan 2. Bulked up muscles 3. Shredded physique with very little fat, looking like a Spartan Warrior Dance: 1. Successful dance instructor (30 lessons / week, winning competitions) 2. World champion dancer ( Fully expressive, blows everyone out of the water) 3. Run a dance studio I posted a video on YouTube documenting my desire to start cold approaching women. Check it out below! Here is another video of the audiobook for The Book of Not Knowing:

I am going to be so good at game and attracting women into my life I feel the fear and I do it anyways I am a chick magnet I have full body orgasms and can last in bed for hours I have multiple women clamoring for my attention I am a responsible and organized and mature individual I have everything that I've asked for I share things on the Internet, things that are going to help humanity grow I have an amazing wife, we are building an empire together I attract high quality women into my life at every turn I cannot wait to see what kind of man I turn into