Spiritual Warrior

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #66 Here lies a new chapter in my life and this journal. I am GOING to hit on women. I am GOING to get laid. I am GOING to get a wonderful girlfriend. I am GOING TO DO THIIS NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. I'LL GO OUT EVERY WEEKEND. I'll summon the courage to hit on every woman that I find attractive. I am that guy. I am going to hit on these women directly, with confidence and charm. I will do this with persistence and hard work and integrity. And NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is going to stop me. Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30am: 3 Make bed: 1 Journal: 66 Brush teeth streak: 68 Floss streak: 4 Shower streak: 39 Meditation streak: 4 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 1 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 1 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 3 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 I love all of these changes, these affirmations are great. However, my mind was wayyyyyy too scattered yesterday and I was unable to focus on the affirmations that I wanted to get in Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 4 No ejaculation streak: 4 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 67 No smoking weed streak: 22 Attracting women tracker: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Dates gone on: Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50

@Miguel1 30 years young

Entering a No-Thought state is the key to Awakening I just finished reading "Who am I? Meditation" by Ramaji and I want to share this insight with you guys. I am NOT enlightened, but this insight really changed the way I see the spiritual path and I haven't seen it talked about much. There are lots of golden nuggets in this book, but the main thing that I got out of it is that this "I-thought" comes from the Heart, and in order to enter a non-dual state, the "I-thought" has to move back down towards the Heart, in which it is dormant and not active. This means that you have NO THOUGHTS going on in your head. This is an incredibly difficult task as our minds trick ourselves into thinking that it is "keeping us alive." But in reality, you are able to function perfectly fine and as a matter of fact MUCH BETTER if you were to kill off the "I-thought" completely. Here are some practical steps that you can take to become aware of this "I-thought" and eventually kill it off. And remember, this is a long term project so give yourself grace. The first stage in the manifestation of this is just to be aware of the thoughts, become an observer of your thoughts, see every single one come into your mind, watch them come into your awareness and then leave your awareness The second thing to do is to ask the "I-thought" "who are you?" The "I-thought" should respond and tell you "I am the I-thought," then ask it where it came from, the "I-thought" should say "I came from the Heart," then politely tell the I-thought to "Hang out in the Heart for a little while." Don't worry, he will come back. He does not go away easily as he does not want to die. You do this OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN I am going to make this a daily habit for myself to do this type of inquiry for 20 minutes a day. You should do the same! And read that book, it is life changing, "Who Am I? Meditation" by Ramaji. Hope you found this interesting.

Been a ballroom dance instructor for 2.5 years and it has changed my life for the better. I am now entering competitions and I am able to authentically express myself in ways that I hadn't previously thought possible. I still struggle with getting laid as I currently lack the courage to approach women on a weekly basis. I am also realizing that its almost as if I don't actually want to get laid because it scares me, I am doing visualizations and affirmations to kick start this process, I KNOW that I will deal with this. I am going to start shifting my focus this year onto more material desires such as getting laid, making more money, winning dance competitions, buying a house, this will be my focus for the next 5-10 years. Serious spiritual pursuits will then come after I exhaust these more "shallow" desires as I have been learning that I cannot fully embrace a "non-dual" state when I am still deeply frustrated with my lack of success in my bank account and attracting women. Overall, I have come so far and I am very proud of myself. The effect that actualized.org has had on me has been truly remarkable, not sure where I'd be without it. I have noticed that since following this work off and on for 10 straight years, nowadays the effects that Leo's vidoes have on me are much more profound, its as if I am finally coasting off of the hard work that I've put in. I now look at my life like a never ending project, in which the manifestation of things requires a deep marination over long time horizons. I have finally started to realize the important of long term fulfillment as opposed to instant gratification, which is a much more mature and fulfilling way to lives ones life. I wish everyone the best, I genuinely love you all.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #65 As I journaled about last night, yesterday was an absolute nightmare of a day. But you know what? I'm actually happy it happened that way, it has lit a fire underneath me that I have not felt probably since I started this journal back on November 1st. And you know what else? I'm not mad at this girl AT ALL, no bad feelings towards her whatsoever. Firstly, saying things like this to hurt someone else is a projection of how she feels about herself, so theres that, secondly, again, the pain of this event is EXACTLY what I needed to put things into perspective and to start taking ownership if this problem in my life. The fact that I am not upset with her is a testament to how far I've come in my "raising consciousness" / "emotional mastery" journey, a couple of years ago if something like this happened, I would have been so upset with this person and I would have wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Instead, this event has filled me with energy and focus. As I journaled about two days ago, yes I am a very loving person, this is a great quality within myself that is attractive to others and also makes me very happy. Where I am lacking is on execution and self-confidence, which is hindering my progress in "getting laid." You can be the most loving person in the world, but if you do not have the courage to hit on women, they will never be given the chance to be touched my your loving grace. And this is what I'm dealing with right now. I have added several things back onto the tracker as I am shifting my focus back towards material desires over spiritual pursuits, (spiritual pursuits are more of a part of a 20 year plan for me, I would like to exhaust myself of all "material desires" within 10 years, which creates urgency to get these things out of the way.) Some examples of the material pursuits are getting laid A LOT, having an abundance of money in my bank account, buying a house with a backyard for entertaining, and winning dance competitions. More long-term spiritual pursuit goals are opening up a meditation center, writing books about Truth and Enlightenment, and of course reaching an LOC of 1,000. The books that I will be reading will also be more geared towards material pursuits, reading things like "The Path of Least Resistance," "Loving What Is," "The Sedona Method," "The Talent Code," and "Do You!" Here is a summary of the changes that I've made to my habit tracker: I've added "Wake up at 7:30am back to the list "Make my bed" has been added I've added a "hitting on women visualization exercise" and an "I love having sex with lots of women" to the meditation routine that I do every morning. This means that I meditate for 20 minutes and then I do these two exercises. Yes, I am taking away 10 minutes of meditation, but I am still getting 20 minutes in, and remember, my goals right now are more geared towards success and material desires rather than spiritual pursuit. The visualizer is going to motivate me to go out into the real world and actually hit on these girls. The "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation is going to address the fact that I may not actually currently want this in my mind, which is creating a vibration out of touch with the desire, this will iron this out. I've also created the affirmation and visualization streak into its own category as there are a lot of them. I've also added a "dates gone on" onto the women tracker Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30am: 2 Make bed: 0 Journal: 65 Brush teeth streak: 67 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 38 Meditation streak: 3 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 2 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 2 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 2 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 3 No electronics before bed streak: 0 ( I watched Star Wars in my bed last night) "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 3 No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 66 No smoking weed streak: 21 Attracting women tracker: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Dates gone on: Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50 Things to do today: Drop package off at post office Bring in things from your car Put clothes away Pack up things for work in backpack Head to gym Head to work

Interlude: A Wake Up Call ~ 1.4.26 After a great day yesterday of eating pancakes and lots of positive thoughts and emotions, I got slapped in the face with reality and had one of the worst days in a while on an emotional level. So strap yourself in, you are going to enjoy this at my expense. I am fine by the way, I am actually really motivated and I’m grateful that it happened as it was truly a great wake up call, albeit very painful and embarrassing. So I went to a girls house to hang out with her. When I first got there, I was in a good mood, we were joking around, having a good time. Then, her dad comes back and my emotional state shifts a bit and I become less likely to authentically express myself. I thought I was over this but I guess not… I try to release using the Sedona Method, it kind of works but not really… Anyways, he is going to cook us dinner. We go downstairs to practice our dancing, It then dawns of me that this is really why I was invited over here, it was to practice dancing and not just to hang out, and there goes another shot to the emotional state. Now heres the real kicker and what absolutely shatters my emotional state, so she is aware that a few weeks ago, I went to the city to attempt to hit on girls and failed, not hitting on a single one - and she pokes fun at me for that, saying that “its not that hard.” I immediately shut down on an emotional level, I am now completely expressionless, I feel insecure, emasculated, embarrassed. This is a girl that I HAVE A CRUSH ON and she is making fun of me for NOT BEING ABLE TO GET LAID. This is like shit out of a fuckin’ nightmare, truly. I really struggle to bring a smile to my face at this point, I make it through the dance practice completely expressionless, she asks me whats wrong but I don’t tell her. We are stretching afterwards and I am able to release the emotions that I’m feeling somewhat and move from a state of apathy to a state of grief or fear in which I am at least able to function. We mess around a bit with the nerf guns until dinner is ready. But she is right, I am failing to get laid right now, I am unable to summon the courage to escalate things with her and any other girl for that matter… and this makes me feel embarrassed and useless. We then head upstairs to have dinner with her dad. I am actually feeling okay at this point as I have successfully released the “apathy” emotional state that I was feeling earlier, thank God for the Sedona Method. We enjoy dinner together and I was pretty calm and collected but not saying too much, just listening and asking questions. This girl challenges the fuck out of me with her jabs and although this was a VERY painful experience, it was the truth bomb that I needed. I am going to put all spiritual pursuits on hold for now and I am going to just focus on material success, mainly getting laid. I have put this off long enough, I have to deal with this or it will just keep coming up again and again and again.. Whats funny is that the emotions and thoughts that I was feeling yesterday about this girl and how the day would go were all VERY POSITIVE, what I don’t understand is if my thoughts were so positive doesn’t that mean my vibration would have been matching my desires and the day should have gone exactly as I planned it? Is the Law of Attraction complete bullshit or was my vibration just not truly matching my desire? I have wondered before, do I actually want to get laid? Because if I don’t actually want it, then my vibration will not match that desire.. Hmmm… something to contemplate. What I do know is there has been a fire lit under my ass and I am going to deal with this problem head fuckin’ on - I am going to drive straight through the belly of the beast and get laid over and over and over again. And I don’t care if I have to approach 10 women, 100 women, 500 women, 1,000 women, 10,000 women. I am going to keep fuckin’ going until I get where I want to get to. There are no excuses, its time… The people that make comebacks take responsibility They don't blame anyone, they don't make excuses They look at their situation and they say "I did this" "I let this happen and I'm going to fix it" Personal responsibility is the foundation of every comeback Understand that the work that you're putting in today might not pay off for months But it will pay off if you keep going There is going to come a day when you wake up and realize you're not at the bottom anymore You're gonna look around and see that you've made progress You're going to feel different, you're going to carry yourself different People are going to start noticing that something has changed about you You work harder than you ever have You stay more consistent than you ever have You believe in yourself more than you ever have You take responsiblity for everything You stop waiting for things to get easier You just get stronger If you keep showing up and doing the work, results will come They have to, its a law of nature Consistent action produces results It might not happen as fast as you want It might not happen the way you expect But it will happen if you keep going

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #64 Today, I am going to head to the neighboring state to visit a girl. My intention going into this is to become more and more aware of what she needs for her development, I will also be letting loose and having fun as I would like to enjoy myself and she is an awesome girl. One thing that people get from me is a loving energy, a very loving energy. This is something that I’ve been able to manifest and grow over years. And I look forward to how loving I become in this life. My job here on this Earth is to become the MOST LOVING that I possibly can be. Give yourself up, surrender to the Greater Unknown. I have a vision of this girl crying. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze. She is crying about something that is silly, I tell her that “she is loved,” “We all love you and will always love you, no matter what you do, remember that,” This is what this girl is missing, its what A LOT of people are missing. Unfortunately, there are many parents out there in the world that don’t TRULY LOVE their kids, they love them but in a selfish and controlling way, in which they retract the love if the kid does something that they don’t approve of. This is sad, but the parent doesn’t know any better… I mean this is how they were raised as well. But we are growing as a society and we are evolving into something greater, something much better. But there is love all around us, just be open to feeling it. What do I envision for this girl, try to take yourself out of the equation. The idea is that she SHOULDN’T need you for anything, that is what you should want for her because not needing anyone for anything is a necessary part of everyone’s evolution. The cool thing about this is that you are able to see past her and past yourself, I am not focusing on her not texting me back yet, I am focused on what SHE NEEDS in her development which is key. What does she need in order to develop herself into a healthier human and reach her full potential? The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that she does not love herself. This is big, she is very insecure, mainly about her looks. I could give her compliments, which means I have to give compliments to other women as well. And you could start with something as simple as “I like your shirt.” I think something this simple could go a long way. Next, I’d like to analyze what she projects outwards, this will give me insights into what she needs. She definitely judges the way I sound and also the things that I wear at times, this means that she judges the way she sounds and the way she looks because we are both one and the same. What can I do about that? I can compliment her voice somehow as well. Honestly though, I think journaling about this is a bit overkill, I mean these things are supposed to come up organically. I think having the intention of helping her in her development is probably enough for now. Okay… fair enough. But be conscious of how she acts and then journal about it afterwards… okay, deal. As you can see, I like to have conversations with myself. This is a good way to deal with things for me, it feels like my lower self is talking to my Higher Self. The Higher Self is somewhere “out there” and the lower self is the one that is controlling the body and making choices. I am not affected by petty things anymore. I am on my own journey and my vision includes you and also sees past you, onto GREAT HORIZONS, ones that you nor I can currently see. But they are there and I will not stop until I meet my Maker. Its 9:50 am and I said I'd get there at 1 pm. It takes 1.5 hours, which means I have to leave from wherever I'm at by 11:30 am. I would like to unpack my car first and foremost, then give myself a haircut, then work out to some capacity and also pack that ebay item. Okay, ready go. Things to do: Print shipping label Package item and put in car Unpack car Organize room Haircut 1.3.26 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30am: 1 Journal: 64 Brush teeth streak: 66 Floss streak: 2 Shower streak: 37 Meditation streak: 2 Funniness affirmations: 1 Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 2 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 2 No ejaculation streak: 2 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 65 No smoking weed streak: 20 Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50

Interlude: Personal Journal ~ 1.3.26 I fuckin' love journaling. So right now, I am sitting at IHOP. I had to do this pancake challenge in which I have to sit here for 24 hours, the catch is that for every pancake I eat, I get to subtract an hour. I've been here since 11:30 am, its 6:30 pm and I have eaten 15 total pancakes. This means that I have to stay here until 8:30 pm in order to finish the challenge. I was definitely suffering throughout the process, especially during pancakes 10-15, but looking back on it, it wasn't too bad. I will happily sit here for another two hours and just read and journal. I'm happy I did this. I also documented everything and put it onto my Instagram story. This was a lot of fun and it lines up with my vision of starting a YouTube channel, I am getting used to videoing myself and also I just love creating, it is one of my pure joys that I get out of life. People were VERY supportive in the comments, which I really appreciated, it felt like a real team effort! I really want to set my life up for success and I think that I made a mistake going away from the habit of waking up at 7:30 am every day, this is a good goal. I also stopped doing the affirmations of "I see funniness everywhere" and "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others," these affirmations are golden, they make me a much happier person and a much funnier person, which helps with lessons and attracting women. I stopped doing these out of pure laziness, I allowed my mind to take control and get its way. No more of that, I can do these affirmations on a daily basis. I also really want to set up my workout schedule and eating habits. Yes, I'm doing a great job, my physique is improving, but I would like to be more strategic for efficiency. With that being said, I am going to come back to this because I first and foremost need to make a list of things that I need to do in order to feel more at home at my moms house, which I just moved into. Here is a list of things that I would like to do: Things to do: Unpack everything else in your car Organize room, put clothes away, find spot for books and other items, etc And thats actually it... just get these things done for now, TONIGHT. And then you can either read or journal some more about your life

You can be broke and meditate 20 minutes a day. Getting laid and getting finances in order could be your main priority and meditate a little bit every day using your favorite meditation technique which will pay dividends down the road when you've already got a girlfriend and have a lot of money.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #63 Yesterday was an interesting day. Heres the thing, I know that this tracker is in flux right now. My mood is also in flux. I am still in the process of moving into my moms house so things are not set up yet. Heres the thing though, even when I am not "100%," I'm still doing pretty well. Again, I am able to access mindsets that are VERY loving. And this is super important, both to my happiness as well as the effect that it has on others. Now, don't get this confused with being a "nice guy," I use lots of push - pull when dealing with people, there is lots of teasing and "poking fun" - I have learned that this is the best way to have a good time with colleagues and friends. We had a staff outing at this German restaurant and someone had to get "spanked" with a paddle because we bought a flight of shots. Other people volunteered me and I genuinely don't mind doing things like this, doing things like this always pay dividends in the "energy" department. I walk up their and get spanked... And it actually REALLY hurt, there was a really painful sting with each swipe. God damn... But I did it and afterwards I felt an emotional release and I felt more open socially and emotionally. I have been noticing that other people tend to talk about me around the table, which I am actually proud of (these are not bad things either, its all positive). This means that I am making some sort of impact on them, I am no longer invisible. Next, we go out to a salsa club and I have a lot of fun dancing with everyone there. I am going to keep doing this and practice certain things like eye contact and approaching women and socializing when I can.. In these salsa club settings I am not actually hitting on them... although who knows maybe I can build up to that.. The "hitting on" will occur during the city trips and while going about my business on the day-to-day. I have finally built something tangible with my life. I love my job, I love myself. I love my friends and family. I love everything about it. I am so proud of myself and what I have been able to create.. And the best part... Things are only going to get better. I love myself and everyone on this fuckin' Earth! 1.2.26 Morning routine goals: Journal: 63 Brush teeth streak: 65 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 36 Meditation streak: 1 Funniness free talk exercise: 0 Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Work out: 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 1 No ejaculation streak: 1 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 64 No smoking weed streak: 19 Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #62 As you can see, I have reset most of these trackers. I am in the process of overhauling this thing again, as I have somehow lost the connection between why I'm doing the habit and what I'm building towards. I started journaling about what I am going to eat for food for the week and also when I am going to cook and grocery shop for it. I will post about this later, this habit tracker will be under construction for a few days as I figure this out. In the meantime, here is the the list "as is." 1.1.26 Morning routine goals: Journal: 62 Brush teeth streak: 64 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 35 Meditation streak: 0 Funniness free talk exercise: 0 Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Work out: 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 0 No ejaculation streak: 0 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 63 No smoking weed streak: 18 Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50

Interlude: Goals in life (categorized by tiers) I constructed this in order to create a very solid and tangible vision for what I am building towards in my life. This should create motivation within myself and the habits that I partake in on a day-to-day basis should follow suit so that I am building towards eaching all of these lofty goals one day. Valuable things require time to develop. First tier (5 year goals): Have a shredded physique Workout 3-5 days a week Eat 150 g of protein a day Win dance competitions Compete in as many dance competitions as possible Get a coaching once a week Practice as much as I comfortably can Become a “player” that has sex with lots of women Go out to Boston every weekend and talk to women Go out salsa dancing Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights Have a Youtube channel in which I talk about masculinity and I approach women “in the field” Start recording yourself talking about things Start recording yourself going out and talking to people Have full body orgasms while having sex, last for at least 30 minutes Get in touch with energy fields while meditating Masturbate without stimulation and last as long as possible Buy a cute little house with a porch and outdoor bar Save up money and continue to grow income through dance and YouTube Transition phase (5-10 years) Marry the girl of my dreams Second tier (10 year goals): Become an Arthur Murray dance studio owner Build lessons and events as quickly as possible Reach LOC 600 (non-dual state) Meditate every morning and read spiritual books every night Third tier (20 year goals): Open up a meditation center Daily meditation and save up money Write books about Truth and enlightenment Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Reach LOC 1,000 Daily meditation and reading spiritual books

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #61 I have grown frustrated with myself. I don't know whats going on but I am not attached to my vision anymore. I am waking up whenever and doing whatever... Now this is better than what I used to do for sure, I am now at least contemplating what I should be doing instead of just allowing my emotions to run the show right from the get-go (when I get out of bed.) There are a few moving parts here though, I just moved back in with my mom and I haven't really unpacked yet so I really need to settle into her house. Why don't you just do that and then you can take a look at the tracker. Cuz this is the other thing, I am feeling resistance towards some of the things on the tracker.. some of them are no brainers but I am starting to not take some of them very seriously.. I will need to focus in on them which I think firstly takes looking at long term goals. What are you trying to do with your life first and foremost? I've been noticing that the longer I am on this self- actualizing journey, the more rewards I get from Leo's videos, that's pretty cool. 12.31.25 Morning routine goals: Journal: 61 Brush teeth streak: 63 Floss streak: 12 Shower streak: 34 Meditation streak: 0 Funniness free talk exercise: 5 Sexual abundance affirmation: 5 Work out: 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 3 No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 2 No alcohol streak: 62 No smoking weed streak: 17 Sunday Goals: Financial plan for the week Give yourself a haircut Grocery shop & meal prep Circulate sexual energy Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $825

Interlude: I don't give a fuck what he thinks about me I had a cool insight today, so I have decided that since I am still climbing out of debt and I have a heart surgery coming up, I am going to move back in with my mom for a few months until I can deal with these things. It then crossed my mind that my brother in law is coming over and he is going to see me unpacking my stuff. I think to myself, “I wonder what he is going to think about me moving back in here…” and then it hit me, “I don't give a single fuck what he thinks about this decision, I actually couldn't possibly care any less.." This is a breakthrough moment as I used to think about what others think of me sooooooo often. Nowadays, my vision is too strong for me to care what these people think about me, especially since I don't even really like him, he does nothing for my life, nothing. So stay clear of petty thoughts, you have way too much to live for to waste energy on that.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #60 Okay, a few things to unpack: Yes, I have lost some motivation to do these habits. I would like to have a better grasp on why I'm doing them. The other thing is that there is no excuse for to me not meditate in the morning, no excuse... however, I hear all of these different ways to meditate and it causes confusion within myself, I need to just sit down and pick something and I will use that for the next month.. then I can reassess.. But you HAVE to meditate.. you just have to in order to reach your goals... no excuses! I should also be making my bed in the morning, I'd love to add that. I would also like to say something about working out, so as you can see, the tracker is listed at "1." However, for the past I don't know.. 6 weeks, if we're counting the push ups and pull ups, I've been working out between 5-6 times a week. This is impressive and I haven't been that consistent before. And I have definitely seen the progress in the mirror. What I need to do is figure out a workout schedule that works with my work schedule. That is a good goal for the day, set your life up so that you are meditating and working out consistently, in a way that is going to grow you and help you achieve your goals. I will come back to this later. Next, I am going to be moving out of the house that I'm living in TODAY and moving back in with my mom. I decided this a couple of days ago and I've told the homeowner and my mom and everyones on board. I have a heart surgery coming up next year and I am going to have to pay a few thousand dollars for it, my car is also not doing very well, and I am barely paying my bills as it is... jesus, when am I going to get out this financial hole.. I am hoping that this is a good start, subtracting the rent from my expenses is going to give me about a $600 surplus which is exactly what I need to climb out of debt and pay for the surgery. The last thing I'll talk about is my roommate. So I hadn't seen my roommate for a few weeks. She just stopped being in the common areas. I knew something was up because she's usually quite social. I had become frustrated with her because I was literally doing every one of her dishes, she didn't touch that sink for WEEKS. Anyways, I was gonna bring this up to her, but now that I'm leaving and seeing her in the state she was in yesterday (which I will get to in a minute).. there really isn't a point. She came downstairs yesterday and holy shit this woman's emotional state was.. I mean its hard to explain.. but I would describe it as lost, anxious, depressed, whats the point? - I mean this is probably the worst mental state I have ever witnessed. I could feel the energy, and it made me feel very bad for her, but at the same time I REALLY didn't want to be around her. She took the day off today to visit her friend in Maryland, which I KNOW she cannot afford. I don't know what the fuck shes doing. If I found myself in that emotional state, I would do EVERYTHING I could do address it, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. She told me that she was on meds for 10 years and she just came off of them and this is why she is feeling the way she is... jesus christ.. I mean what a fuckin' mess.. anyways, I hope she figures this out, I mean she has to right? Okay, one more thing... There are some things that I have to do today, its my friends birthday and I'm going to post something on Instagram to wish him a happy birthday, I have to move all of my stuff out of here except the bed and dresser, I of course have to shower, and I need to meditate.. see this is the thing, I don't do the morning routine in order anymore, which is exactly what I wanted to do in the first place, have a set routine that I follow EVERY FUCKIN MORNING.. and I have completely gone away from that. Why you might ask? Well its truly because I don't see the benefit of it in reaching my goals, in my vision.. If I did see the benefit, I would prioritize it. I am going to come back to this idea later. 12.30.25 Morning routine goals: Journal: 60 Brush teeth streak: 62 Floss streak: 11 Shower streak: 33 Meditation streak: 0 Funniness free talk exercise: 4 Sexual abundance affirmation: 4 Work out: 1 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 2 No ejaculation streak: 2 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 61 No smoking weed streak: 16 Sunday Goals: Financial plan for the week Give yourself a haircut Grocery shop & meal prep Circulate sexual energy Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $825

Interlude: Personal Journal 12.31.25 With all of this time off with the holidays, I gotten very relaxed and not care so much about disciplinary goals, I think this is normal as I am hitting a reset button and I will get back into a nice groove when January turns up. I am also starting to put into perspective how far I have come over the past two years. It is truly remarkable, TRULY REMARKABLE. I am a grounded, attractive man that enjoys the hard work of going to the gym and reading books. Every chance I get, I am working on something, something to challenge himself. I am also deeply loving towards others, this has hit me recently as I have been able to enter a Field of Love and stay there throughout the day, no judgements, just pure Love pouring out of me. I have an abundance of women in my life and I am able to act authentically from my Heart when they are around. I have goals, lots of goals, lots of big, tangible goals. This is what pushes me to grow myself. If I am going to reach these massive goals that both scare but excite me, then I have to do x, y, and z. This creates a system in which there is no lack of motivation... because the vision is so clearly in my mind, there is no chance in hell I'm going to waste an entire day jerking off and watching Netflix... no shot.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #59 I left off at 31:00 "You need some kind of medium... some kind of larger objective that is going to push you forward... " Personal Journal ~ 12.29.25 Writing in journal streak: I would like to state that I have been writing in this journal every single day since I started this... which is 59 days for 59 journal entries... that is impressive and I should add that to the list. How is the brushing teeth streak at 61 you might be asking... I have no idea, but hey fuck it.. Last week recap: So heres the thing, I had an emotionally challenging week last week, dealing with romantic feelings for someone, realizing how bad my finances are, waking up at 5 am, staying in the sauna, feeling embarrassed because I was too broke to buy my family Christmas presents. This stuff hurt but it was necessary... Yesterday, I had one of the best days in a long time. I woke up with lots of energy, in nothing short of a phenomenal mood. I dropped my car off at the shop and then walked around the town, taking photos of the scenery. I then went into work and called a bunch of clients and taught great lessons. I was goofy, in a great mood, getting lots of things done. It was a near perfect day. Peak states: These days come into my life and I very rarely used to experience these kinds of peak enjoyments before, the clear headedness, the fun and enjoyment, the presence, the expression... On second thought, I would experience these things for sure but a lot less frequently, when I had a girlfriend, I had lots of moments like this and in college for sure when I was hanging out with my friends or after college again.. hanging out with my friends... but here I am in this state AT MY JOB... I am getting paid for this... This job puts me in this state... thats fuckin' amazing! And ideally, this will trickle into your personal life too... when you're hanging out with friends and/or hanging out with a girl. That is very exciting. Now, what contributed to this phenomenal mood is I was fasting, i didn't eat for 24 hours.. I went from 8:30 pm two nights ago to 8:30 pm yesterday, no food. This did wonders for me... I was clear headed, there was nothing slowing down my mental faculties.. I want to keep doing this and see where it leads... I actually have A LOT to journal about, so buckle in... Girl situation: The next thing is, I made a big mistake with this girl in my life. I started to have feelings for her so out of what I was calling "respect for her" I started to drop the goal of hitting on other women.. what a mistake that was. This made me needy and clingy and desperate, that was the energy that I was giving off.. I put all of my chips in one basket without getting any sort of investment from her. What a fuckin' idiot.. now be nice to yourself.. You are learning so the approaching women tracker is back and I REALLY want to start a self help YouTube channel to help men with their dating lives and I will do this, I don't care how long it takes or how painful it will be. BE YOURSELF: The next thing is it is quite difficult to find a balance between being loving towards myself and enjoying life while also trying to grow into a man that has discipline in his life and is able to "handle business." I find sometimes that these things are polarizing and I don't know what to make of it. Now... I do know one thing for certain, I am DOING WELL... I really am.. I have a job I love... I am happy and content... I am doing challenging things... I am definitely pushing myself... Like I am trying my fuckin' best... AND for the first time in my life.. I am acting in an expressive manner, in which I am able to just BE MYSELF.. This is HUGE. Fuckin' HUGE. I cannot express that enough.. I am finally BEING MYSELF! Halle-fuckin-lu-jah! Emptiness: I have been reading The Book of Not Knowing recently (I of course still have spiritual pursuits that I am trying to actualize despite all of the material desires..) and there was an interesting contemplation exercises at the end of chapter 3 in which the author had you contemplate and feel into your own being for a state of emptiness. This emptiness was very clear to me the day prior, when I was going through those struggles at dance practice. My stomach was completely hollow, it felt very unpleasant. Whats interesting about this state is that my mind was actually very clear, meaning I was aware of every thought running through my head.. now the thoughts were mostly not positive which was painful and maybe it was really the thoughts that created the suffering and NOT the emptiness in the stomach. That is something to contemplate. The other thing is I feel like this emptiness is always present, it didn't really arise from anywhere, it is always within my being. What happens is the mind will churn and churn and churn and it distracts me from this feeling of emptiness. Now heres a question, why would the mind want to distract your being from this empty and hollow feeling? For some reason, it deems it as a negative feeling state, when in reality I don't think its negative, as a matter of fact, I was able to breathe with more awareness and I was much more aware of what was going through my mind and body. Approaching women tracker: While I was out yesterday, I approached two women and asked them for directions. Nice job! This is how you start doing something very challenging and scary, you take baby steps. Scatter brained: Now, the issue that I am starting to see within my psyche is this: So yes, I have lots of energy right now.. That is awesome... this is what pushes me to accomplish things.. contrast this to a low energy state in which I don't care about anything and I just want to jerk off and lay in bed.. fuck that.. I'm no where near that and I haven't been for a while... however, I am very scatter brained, thinking about this and that and that and this and it would really benefit me to streamline things so that I am working viscerally on one thing at a time. How am I going to do that.. I'm honestly not sure, but thats okay.. Just set the intention and let go. Morning routine goals: Journal: 59 Brush teeth streak: 61 Floss streak: 10 Shower streak: 32 Meditation streak: 0 Funniness free talk exercise: 3 Sexual abundance affirmation: 3 Work out: 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 5 Wash face streak: 5 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 1 No ejaculation streak: 1 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 60 No smoking weed streak: 15 Sunday Goals: Financial plan for the week Give yourself a haircut Grocery shop & meal prep Circulate sexual energy Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $825

Interlude: Very happy emotional state today ~ 12.29.25 It is one of the last days of 2025 and I am filled with excitement and happiness for whats to come. It's funny because emotionally, this past week has been one of the most challenging times in a long time.. But I have come out of this with a newfound understanding of what I have to do next year and where I am heading, I haven’t felt this clear headed in A WHILE. Good luck man, may the force be with you. I am stuck in a cool college town right now because my car is in the shop. I am going to have some fun and go on an adventure, take some photos, which I will put up on my Instagram. Have fun brother.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #58 Okay, so a few weeks back I took out the tracker to track my progress in hitting on women. This was because I started to have feelings for one girl, which got my head spinning and all I wanted was to sack up with her. This turned out to be detrimental because it made me needy and caused for severe negative emotions. Of course, this was a positive experience for my growth, just not very pleasant. I am also soooooo fuckin' scared of taking this hitting on girls seriously. I'm so fuckin' scared. But heres the thing..... I have to fuckin' do this. I just have to. ... A couple of other things that I'm up to, I am going to start Door Dashing and maybe even get a second job at a coffee shop to pay for my bills. But I AM GOING to make time for myself to head to the city and hit on women. Make it fun for yourself and you might want to add a visualization exercise every morning.. I am excited about this! An abundance of sex is coming into my life. I also wrote a letter to my ex girlfriend and I told her that I really appreciate everything that she did for me. She made me feel more loved than anyone has ever made me feel. This created the pathway for me to start loving myself, truly loving myself and I'm very happy with how far I've come in regards to that and I owe her praise for getting me started down that path. Is this the right move? I don't know, but it'll make her feel really good and thats what matters. I am also going to post an Instagram post about my friend because its his birthday in two days, it'll be filled with a bunch of funny and cool photos of him. I made sure to highlight him in the post, making sure that HE looks good and not worrying about myself. This is about him. Thats important. He will appreciate this, I know it. I am also thinking that I'd really like to masturbate every night, so that I can feel out the sexual energy in my body. Should I add taking maca every morning to the equation... Idk... maybe... An abundance of sex in my life... and to inspire other men.... This is what I'm after and I WILL find a way to deal with this... you can count on that. KILL THE BOY AND LET THE MAN BE BORN The boy avoids discomfort, the man charges into it. You can't rise if you let the boy keep the wheel "What if we fail? What if it hurts?" KILL THAT VOICE The boy says "I hope," the man says "I will" The boy runs from pain, the man runs through it Morning routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 60 Floss streak: 9 Shower streak: 31 Meditation streak: 4 Funniness free talk exercise: 2 Sexual abundance affirmation: 2 Work out: 3 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 4 Wash face streak: 4 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 0 No ejaculation streak: 0 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 59 No smoking weed streak: 14 Sunday Goals: Financial plan for the week Give yourself a haircut Grocery shop & meal prep Circulate sexual energy Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 0 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Let the journey begin! Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $825

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #57 After a solid day of motivation two days ago, I had one of the most emotionally challenging days of the year. I felt an empty pit in my stomach, I felt like no one loved me, I felt like everything was pointless, I had no motivation to do anything, and nothing I did could get me out of the hole that I was in. Today, I am feeling a little bit better but there is still a lack of motivation within me. Anyways, I hope to get all of my habits done today at least and get my "Sunday goals" met. I would also like to create the intention again of hitting on women, I was distracted by my feelings towards one girl in particular, but that is not a good way to go about dealing with this goal. You have to understand how to authentically express your attraction, this is what you are missing within your psyche. I am going to add the approach tracker back onto the bottom of the sheet in order to remind myself of this big goal. It will have three entries within it: 1. Number of women approached for something small, like asking for directions 2. Number of women complimented on their appearance and 3. Number of women approached and hit on. I like this idea because I can certainly do the first one, and this should be a warm up, the second one i have rarely done, and the third one i have done maybe a dozen times in my life. I also really want to get my finances in order. I am going to start doing Door Dash so that I can get a little extra cash, I'm just not sure how much time I should spend on it and when I am going to do it. 12.27.25 Morning routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 59 Floss streak: 8 Shower streak: 30 Meditation streak: 3 Funniness free talk exercise: 1 Sexual abundance affirmation: 1 Work out: 2 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 3 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 8 No ejaculation streak: 8 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 58 No smoking weed streak: 13 Sunday Goals: Financial plan for the week Give yourself a haircut Grocery shop & meal prep Circulate sexual energy Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 0 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Let the journey begin! Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $825

I LOVE this song

Interlude: Emotional Turmoil ~ 12.27.25 This morning, I woke up at 5 am, had an excellent workout at the gym, hit the sauna and then went to dance practice. Dance practice was going well at first, but then I was triggered emotionally by something she said. The trigger occurred when she told me that she was going out to a salsa club and that she invited someone else to go with her. Immediately, I was like " Why didn't she invite me?" "No one loves me,""No one will ever love me.." "Why bother?" These are some of the thoughts that ran through my head. What came with the thoughts was an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was like my stomach dropped and it just stayed there. After this occurred, I could not get out of my emotional state. I tried to release it using the Sedona Method, it made me feel a little better but then the thoughts and emotions would come right back. I starting getting sad, I put my head down and my dance partner immediately noticed. She asked me what was wrong and I told her that I was fine. She knew I was lying and asked again. I told her that I was fine and she prys again, eventually I cave and just say "I don't want to talk about it, you don't need to know whats going on in my head." She says that it would help and she even jokingly says that she'd blackmail me unless I tell her whats wrong, which is kind of sweet and at the very least I understand that she really wanted to understand why I was feeling the way that I did. The issue is that I don't understand it in the moment. And why do I get triggered so easily from such a simple thing. Is it because I have feelings for her? Or would I have reacted this way towards anybody? I am starting to think that I may have some trauma from my childhood in which I felt unloved and when things happen to me as an adult that make me unloved, I get triggered with very negative emotions, of emptiness and pessimism. But how do I know if its trauma from childhood or something else entirely? Also, does it even matter that I have trauma? What does knowing that help you with? I know that in order for me to live an amazing life, I have to both deal with this trauma and also create a system in which I am able to regulate my emotions better. God, what should I do? I have these two books next to me, "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie and "Taming your Gremlin" by Rick Carson. There is also the Lefkoe Method, which is a course that I bought a while back that i did not finish. It cures limiting beliefs that we integrated in childhood. This might be the perfect time to rekindle that. What do you think, God? God: Those two books are great, but not for you right now. You should take a good look at the Lefkoe method again, that is a great idea. There is also a book that accompanies The Field of Love, "Without This Thought, Who am I?" Remember, Martin Birrittella suffered from being unloved as a child as well. He didn't realize that he had this limiting belief until he was 40 years old. He has come into your life for a reason, take advantage of him. These emotional triggers that you experience, I know they are painful and I'm sorry you have to go through them, I really do feel for you, but... they are telling you something, they are pointing you in the direction that you must go down. Without the triggers, without the pain, you wouldn't be led down the correct path. So I'm sorry, I really am, but trust me this is good for you.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #56 I have hit a surge of energy and motivation recently, reading books, seeking advice, waking up early, working out, talking to people, it is awesome! Life can be a magnificent thing if that is your intention! I really want a girlfriend and I am going to manifest that for myself.. I will happily receive her into my life and love her with my all of my heart. 12.26.25 Morning routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 58 Floss streak: 7 Shower streak: 29 Meditation streak: 2 Funniness free talk exercise: 0 Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Work out: 1 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 3 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 7 No ejaculation streak: 7 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 7 No alcohol streak: 56 No smoking weed streak: 12 Sunday Goals: Financial plan for the week Give yourself a haircut Grocery shop & meal prep Circulate sexual energy Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $825

Interlude: Pesonal Journal ~ The day after Christmas '25 I woke up at 5am this morning, and I was angry. Its difficult to be in a state of Love when you are angry. Anyways, I went to the gym and got my work out in. I called the mechanic to let him know that I am leaking oil. I think they messed something up when they did my oil change last week.. It was Christmas yesterday and I went to my sisters house. My car was in their driveway and I left an oil spill and they were freaking out about it… Jesus christ guys… calm the fuck down. They put cat litter on it to soak it up. This rattled me emotionally as I felt embarrassed, but then I used the Sedona Method to release my emotions. I don’t love being around my brother in law as I feel no Love from him. Then again, ideally, Love comes from an internal source. In this way, you are completely non- needy and independent of other people giving you things. After releasing, I did feel better, we watched the football game and I bonded with my dad. I love him so much and I will be so heartbroken when he passes on, hes 67 I think. As I’m sitting there trying to enjoy family time, I kept thinking about getting back to my house so that I could read more books and get my life sorted out. Family time feels hollow to me at times, I mean I do love my sisters and my parents, but at the same time, all I want to do is make a greater impact on others and work on my physique and have enlightenment experiences and dance and work on my intimate relationships. Family time doesn’t help with these things.Then again, you can practice being Loving towards them… thats right, you still need to write some cards for your family and also print out some photos, show them some Love. That is your job today. I also need to deposit that money at the bank. Those are your two tasks before going to your moms house at 12:30 pm. This brother in law also throws the vibes off, he is just so disconnected from Love, truly he is, it is very obvious. My other brother in law is also disconnected from Love, I witnessed him beat the shit out of his dog. He’s an absolute piece of shit for that actually… I avoided him for about a year after this incident… What is wrong with these men… I am disappointed in both of them in a way, but I know deep down that they are me and I am them because we are all One. I should also remember that I have also done some terrible things in this life that I do not care to share on here… remember that… we’ve all done terrible things, that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve Love. God Loves every single human being on this Earth, no matter how heinous their crimes are, God even Loves Adolf Hitler.. And I can become that person, I can become God-like… and why not…. Why not become God-like… I mean what else is there to do here????? The thing I’m most excited about is having another intimate relationship. There is something about sharing insecurities and vulnerabilities with someone, sharing a bed together, sharing intimacy, sharing secrets, telling them things you haven’t told anyone… And intimacy is right around the corner for me… I can feel it.