Spiritual Warrior

Parasites. The ultimate in selfishness; they negatively affect a host in order to survive. Unbeknownst to the host animal, the parasite infiltrates it's body, feeds off of it and then reproduces, all while being protected by the hosts body. Very sneaky and smart.

Is there a model like Spiral Dynamics but for the different stages of enlightenment? Thanks.

@Phil King @Carl-Richard thank you ?

Gen Zers may be destroying our attention spans with their tiktoks, but we have to admit that they do a great job of embodying stage green qualities. Some green characteristics that the show highlights: The "bachelorette" is pansexual, which means that she isn't attracted to a specific gender. This highlights openness, acceptance, and equality Men are not afraid to be feminine Contestants are loving, empathetic and intimate (lots of good eye contact) Everyone in the house gets along, there is a communal, heart-centered vibe The "bachelorette" says that she's spiritual but not religious Contests are teamwork driven (contrast this to the ABC show "The Bachelor," where all of the contests are every man for themselves) Lots of hugs and warm interactions Communication channels are strong, lots of bonding between contestants. People are checking in with each other, seeing how they feel, expressing emotions Diverse group of contestants These are generalizations of course, there are flashes of other stages, not everyone has integrated stage green.

I am in a similar boat my friend, although not as far along as you I don't think (I still have some stage blue that Id like to integrate.) I think option one is a great idea. Just focus on the things that you enjoy. Pursue the girls, pursue the money and the fame, pursue the luxury, all of the material desires. Like you said, eventually you will burn through that karma and you'll move onto the next thing. It's awesome that you meditate for so long every day, truly inspiring. But if you're not that into it or you find that you're mind is always off on other things, you may not be getting the spiritual gains that you would want. And you could be using that time to work on social skills or your business. Just a thought. I'm actually really glad you posted this because it gave me some clarity as to what I should be doing in my life. I've read a few books on Enlightenment and I'm really into it, I think it's amazing stuff and I know that I'll get there one day, but the reality is that I want the same things as you, I want the women, I want the money, I want the nice house, I want to be more charismatic, I want all of that. And I know that I've got to fulfill those desires first. We can't just skip over that and become enlightened. We've got to fulfill these cravings or they'll continue to nag us until they're addressed. I'm still going to research spirituality and contemplate because I find it so damn interesting, but the main priority is maximizing stage orange and working out some stage blue, mainly self discipline and hard work. I'm also curious if you have integrated stage green in your life yet?

Transcending the Spiral - Journal Entry #4: Alright so heres the deal with this, my ultimate goal is to use a systems thinking approach on my whole friend group to help them transcend the spiral. The reason that I am doing this is because 1. I love my friends and I want the best for them and 2. This will be a great small scale systems- approach experiment that I can learn from and maybe down the road I can use a systems approach to effect an even larger group of people, such as at a business, or as a self-help guru, or whatever I become when I mature. The issue is that I am finding it difficult to really spend time on thinking about how I am going to help my friends move up the spiral when I have so many issues that I need to iron out in my own life. (I have all of these lofty ideas, but I really do have a lot of practical issues.) I feel as though I need to spend time working on myself first and foremost before I can help anyone else. I've decided that I am all good on stage red. The only thing that I may need on red is setting better boundaries with people, and telling them when they have crossed a line or that I am upset with something that they did to me. (I don't even know if this even relates to the spiral, its kind of just a separate thing, but I feel I have a good grasp on it, and when a situation arises, I'm going to work on sticking up for myself.) I have a lot to work on in stage blue, so I am just going to focus on that right now.. What do you want to work on at stage blue? Stage blue: Hard work, discipline, greater purpose Hard work: I can be so damn lazy. I'll get into these funks in which I just don't do anything all day. I'll sit in my bed and jerk off or watch stupid videos all damn day. I want to get this bad habit out of my life. When I set my mind to something, I want to put in the work to finish it and get better at it. I want to put in the hard work to working out at the gym. I want to work hard at my job. Discipline: I want to say no to all of the bad habits that I have, my addiction to porn / ejaculating, my addiction to stimulation, my addiction to watching TV before bed, my addiction to junk food. I want to have the discipline to stop doing all of these things. When I see a pretty girl, I want to have the self- discipline to walk up to her and chat her up. I want to have the discipline to go out there and apply to jobs, lets say 5 different places every day from here on out. I want to have the discipline to know when to stop drinking alcohol or maybe stop drinking all together. I want to have the self discipline to stop smoking weed (I just don't see the benefit of it anymore, it is nothing but a distraction and it makes me lazy and tired) I want to have the self discipline to wake up at the same time every single weekday morning. Lets start with 8 am. I am going to wake up at 8 am every day next week and from here on out. Greater purpose: I want to have a greater purpose that I am working towards. I want a job at a restaurant, in which I can start building up some capital, work on my social skills, and work on my work ethic. I want to continue to develop my Youtube channel, this is going to be my purpose. I want to help people learn things that will help them move up the spiral. I want to lead by example to my peers, this is how you should live your life, this is how you should carry yourself. I want to be an inspiration to people. I know I said that I need to work on myself before I can help out my friends, but here are some notes as to what I would like to do with them. What is one issue with your friend group that needs to be addressed? Too much alcohol. My friends drink a lot. I'm talking 10+ drinks at some functions. Some of them drink very irresponsibly. Why are they drinking so much? I think that they are drinking so much because they don't have a higher vision to pursue. It doesn't matter that they are turning there brain to sludge for the night and the next day. There also usually isn't anything else to do, we don't have super stimulating, intellectual conversations and won't have any activity to do at a function, so we just drink. How can you get them to drink less? Host functions that are not centered around drinking alcohol. Have a game night. Maybe a murder mystery dinner, in which everyone is engaged and there is something to do. Invite them to yoga, if you can get them into yoga, this is how you can start to inspire them to start taking care of their bodies. Show them that you care about them. Give them some love, talk about love more often, give out more hugs, be more accepting and open to them. DO NOT try to manipulate any of them for your selfish interests. This is big. People pick up on this and then they think that it is okay to engage in that kind of behavior (this of course requires you to work on yourself). Cheer others on when playing basketball or soccer. Congratulate people on their success. Stop drinking yourself (this is also really big, if you can't stop then why should they?) All of these things that I mention are stage green. What I'm hoping is that if I can just get them all to embody green, it will move them out of the lower stages. Not sure if it is really that simple, but I guess we'll find out. What are some stage green activities that you can do with them? Meditate, yoga, take psychedelics, talk about our feelings, give more hugs, be more loving, be more empathetic, have more wholesome get togethers where everyone is involved (this is an issue sometimes because a lot of the times the girls and the guys are separated, and I'm not really sure how to entertain the girls), include EVERYONE in group messages - don't leave the girlfriends out of the loop

@Moksha Thank you

Any good self help books that are in the public domain? Thanks.

Personally, I'd get burnt out if I were to continue to work in the evening. I like to work all day, then after I eat dinner, the rest of the night is time for myself. I watch TV, get together with friends, play basketball or soccer, and sometimes I will read a self improvement book or come on this forum or watch a self help video. During the day its focused attention and in the evening its lenient, whatever I feel like doing.

You need to find the balance yourself. There isn't some objectively right or wrong way to do personal development or career work. Take a look at your priorities and what goals you have set for yourself and find the balance between work and relaxation time. You can find out yourself where that line is of being overworked and design your life around that. You won't know until you do some experimenting, maybe try working 40 hours in a week. Do you feel burnt out at the end of the week? Do you find that you are not as focused during meditation or while contemplating or reading a book? Then maybe dial it back to 30 hours or 20. Or maybe you're mind is able to handle a lot of work, then crank it up to 50 or 60. You'll find what works for you in time. Just let it flow, you'll figure out the right path for yourself.

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #31 - Tue Jun 20 '23 - 12:03 AM The Feminine and the Masculine The feminine is an energy field that every human being has within itself. This energy field embodies love and empathy and when triggered is able to flow effortlessly like a stream. The masculine is also an energy field that every human being has within itself. This energy field embodies confidence and assertiveness and when triggered is able to tackle mountains. We humans have both of these energy fields within ourselves. Being in contact with a feminine or masculine counterpart allows us to get intouch with this side of ourselves. This is why we cannot help but be infatuated by each other. We long for wholeness. And the only way to get it is by getting in touch with what we feel like we are missing in our lives. And for the masculine man, it is the feminine touch. For the feminine woman, it is the masculine presence. I want to feel the loving touch of a woman running her hands through my hair. I want to feel her warmth as she enters the room. I want to feel her judge free eyes staring into mine. I want to feel her warm body pressed against mine. I want to feel her soul. I want to pulsate her body with endless pleasure. I want to move mountains for her and my kids. I want to be the rock that she can lean, sit, or stand on. I want to help her up when she falls. I want to give her my soul. I want to embody self- love and love for all others. I want to make a real impact on the lives of my immediate circle and the world at large. I want to allow my emotions to flow effortlessly up and down my body like water. I want to live by a solid morale code, with integrity, hard work and discipline. I want to feel another person's pain just by looking into their eyes. I want to take on their pain is if it were mine. I want to surrender my body to my divine Mother. I want to create an impeccable life for my divine Father. I long for the masculine and the feminine to become intertwined, to become whole again. But until then, I trudge on.

Maturity is not farting in front of women. Maturity is pushing past the discomfort of a difficult task. Maturity is focusing on long term goals. Maturity is looking towards the future, 5, 10 years down the line. Maturity is being honest with people. Maturity is telling people that you care about them.. or telling them that they made you upset. Maturity is looking someone in the eyes. Maturity is being open about your insecurities and shortcomings. Maturity is putting yourself out there. Maturity is not criticizing others. Maturity is not drinking alcohol. Maturity is quitting porn. Maturity is dealing with difficult truths. Maturity is not letting other people tear you down. Maturity is not doing things for others approval. Maturity is caring about the world at large. Maturity is wisdom. Maturity is understanding that there are consequences to your actions. Maturity is working hard to achieve a goal. Maturity is staying focused. Maturity is not beating yourself up. Maturity is being on time. Maturity is working on your physique. Maturity is trying to understandings other people's points of view. Maturity is sticking to your guns. Maturity is finding a fine balance between sticking to your guns and understanding another's perspective. Maturity is making a difference or an impact to someone else's life. Maturity is getting things done on time, in a timely manner. Maturity is trying to do what is best for the entire group. Maturity is putting yourself on the line. Maturity is taking ownership for your screw ups. Maturity is taking ownership for your life. Maturity is giving things away, being charitable. Maturity is having an abundance mindset. Maturity is loving what you don't like. Maturity is doing what you don't want to do. Maturity is not manipulating others.

Immaturity is the denial that times change, things in your life change. Immaturity is the unacceptance of the changes that occur in a human beings life. It is the denial of the issues that you have in your life. It is the denial that the glory days of youth are over. It is the denial of real responsibility and work. Immaturity is manipulating other people. Immaturity is not taking responsibility for your lack of work ethic. Immaturity is the avoidance of truth. Immaturity is the avoidance of growing up and taking on responsibilities. Immaturity is lacking empathy for other people. Immaturity is the denial that things change. Immaturity is the lack of care for other people. Immaturity is the lack of drive to make an impact in your own life. Immaturity is the lack of thinking about the consequences of ones actions. Immaturity is not adding value to the world. Maturity is dealing with difficult truths. "The world doesn't care about what you might do if you put your mind to it. The world cares about what you actually did."

Writing down all of the qualities at each stage that I resonate with or think is important was extremely beneficial to me. It made me start to think about why I am still stuck on certain qualities, namely the ones at stage red. The reason that I am stuck on many stage red qualities is because I feel as though it is important to always save face and look good in every situation. For example, I've been insecure about my height for a while now but I am just now really bringing it into my full awareness (I'm 5'5") and I realized that I am really scared of looking small relative to women, it terrifies me. So if a girl is tall, then I will go out of my way to avoid her. I have stage red qualities that I try to trigger in order to distract people from viewing me as this small, weak individual. It's a survival mechanism. If I can be overly loud and tough and assertive, then this will compensate for my lack of height. This is what that "Napoleon Complex" is referring to, us short men have a sense that we are not good enough and don't deserve love as we are, so we put on this fake facade. The truth is though that I don't resonate with this stage. I don't like it, I just feel like I have to trigger it in order to save my self- image. The worst thing in the world to me is having my lack of height out on full display to people. This is evident in basketball, when people try to post me up, I get very into it and I try my absolute hardest to play good defense. I don't want to get taken advantage of. In reality, if I were to zoom out and take my ego out of the equation, I realize that posting up the shortest guy on the court, especially if the offensive player has good post moves is a good strategy. Another way to look at this is that it would also be a good strategy if a taller, slower opponent was on myself, to try to use my quickness and get by him. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. You'll never know more freedom than when you put your true self on full display, the good and the bad. Put yourself in the spotlight and say I don't need to hide my shortcomings, insecurities, and fears from you. This is who I am. Take it or leave it. Judge me if you want.

What are the main areas in my life that I'd like to become more mature in? 1. Career / finances - what can I do to work on this? - get a job and start to build some career capital, build up the bank account, and get out of credit card debt. This will also help with self esteem and will help you get out of your undesirable living situation (living at moms house) 2. Sexuality / intimacy - what can I do to work on this? - start hitting on girls that you see around the neighborhood. Just talk to them, say whatever you want. Just talk to them, just go up and talk, that's all there is to it. Who cares if you fail? - take a salsa dancing class to get more in touch with your sexuality. This will also help you in being better at leading and touching women, and it is a great skill to have in pickup - continue to work out, get that physique that you want - think about going out to some bars and clubs on weekends. Think about who you will take with you, try to start setting that up, plan things - work on improving your charisma in every situation, try to make people laugh, be charming, be happy, etc. - be more hug friendly and touchy, being more affectionate leads to intimacy

I'd like to be sober for 30 days. I'm sick of getting drunk and getting high as a distraction from dealing with life. I have serious dreams that I would like to actualize and alcohol and weed is not helping me achieve these goals. I'm addicted to stimulation. I use stimulation to numb my brain and body, so that I don't have to think about the reality that I am growing up and would like to start to take on more responsibilities. This is a hard pill to swallow because taking on more responsibilities requires putting myself into the spotlight. And being in the spotlight is scary, what if I'm not good enough, what if I get laughed at, what if I embarrass myself?

Maturity is going towards your goals. Maturity is looking at a difficult task and doing it, no matter what it takes. Maturity is being able to love the "ugly" aspects of life. Maturity is the ability to love fully. Maturity is the ability to change your life if you desire to change it. Maturity is the willingness to go beyond. Maturity is the willingness to desire truth. Maturity is the release of your attachments. Maturity is not needing anything, anything at all right in this current moment. Maturity is seeing beyond appearances, to what is true, to what is fundamental. Maturity is taking responsibility for your actions. Maturity is dealing with difficult truths. Maturity is facing the truth head on with firm eye contact. Maturity is endless eye contact. Maturity is full surrender to the experience. Maturity is not caring what other people think about you. Maturity is going for what you want in life. Maturity is not putting on a front. Maturity is eye contact. Maturity is dealing with life's challenges. Maturity is accepting ones current situation in life. Maturity is caring about other people's feelings. Maturity is having a life purpose. Maturity is what father needs to perform well. Maturity is the ability to deal with pain. Maturity is being able to feel the pain of others. Maturity is the ability to see from other people's perspectives. Maturity is dealing with challenges head on. Maturity is having charisma and charm. Maturity is the ability to talk to people and get your point across. Maturity is loving yourself exactly as you are. Maturity is being able to meditate. Maturity is being able to deal with your addiction to stimulation. Maturity is being able to deal with the fact that you have no issues and that you are normal. Maturity is accepting the fact that you have hurt others in the past. Maturity is accepting yourself totally and completely. Maturity is understanding that the world doesn't revolve around you. Maturity is taking responsibility for yourself and whoever else you want.

What is maturity to you? Maturity is putting in enough work so that you produce something, maturity is making an impact. Maturity is marriage. Marriage to truth. maturity is the blood sweat and tears. Maturity is dealing with difficult truths. Maturity is dealing with people in a respectful way, respectful to them and yourself. Maturity is self love. Maturity is love for all. Maturity is dealing with what needs to get dealt with. Maturity is dreaming big. Maturity is caring. Maturity is going up to beautiful women and saying hi. Maturity is not being a creep. Maturity is being honest with yourself. Maturity is not zoning people out. Maturity is not going down a road that you don't want to go down. Maturity is doing things with a purpose. With a vengeance. With pep in your step. Maturity is leading by example. Maturity is being a force in the world. Maturity is accepting the fact that you're short.

I am writing down everything that I still resonate with at each stage. If I think that it is important, then that means there is a part of me that has not transcended that portion of myself on the spiral. Stage red: Personal power, displays of toughness, brazen courage, heroism, winning at all costs, winning, victory, conquest, the thrill of conquest, warrior mentality, competitive, crush your opponents, revenge, respect, loyalty, assertiveness, decisiveness, passion, action, direct, no nonsense, wants to be bigger than life, sexual conquests and exploitation, adventure, thrill seeking, living boldly, breaking with the pack Things I want more of at this stage: Nothing Stage blue: hard work, discipline, justice, stability, security, hierarchy: Social order and status quo, meaning and greater purpose, morality, serving God, theology, family values, respect for elders, loyalty, cultural superiority Things I want more of at this stage: hard work, discipline, stability, security, meaning and greater purpose Stage orange: Achievement, success, improving one's own position in life, gaming the system, self-improvement, confidence, optimism, charisma, money, sex, luxury, physical appearance, youth, coolness, sexiness, win win outcomes, "Scientific method", data and analytics qualify everything, pop culture, celebrities, social media, personal freedom, independence Things I want more of at this stage: money, sex, luxury, physical appearance, personal freedom, independence, success, self-improvement, charisma Stage green: Love, heart, soul, empathy, compassion, mercy, leniency, social progress, humanism, liberalism, democracy, equality, anti materialism, anti greed, social conscious, supporting humanitarian causes, relationships, bonding, human well being, harmony, warm interactions, hugs, finding common ground, pacifism, peace, pleasing everyone, sensitivity, spiritual but not religious, recycling, human-centered, heart-centered, openmindedness, sex education, creativity, beauty, art, bringing people of the world together Things I want more of at this stage: Femininity, Mind altering drugs, warm interactions / hugs, bonding, openmindedness Stage yellow*: Spiral Dynamics, systems thinking, being a lone wolf Things I want more of at this stage: Meeting people where they are at, responsibility, independence, autonomy *I do not resonate with many aspects of stage yellow because I am not evolved enough yet.

Maturity in my life I am 28 years old, and the maturity video was a timely wake up call for me. For the past year and a half, I have been lazing around, jobless, and traveling the country when I can. I missed the glory days of being young, when life was easy and I didn't have to take on any responsibilities. I've been trying to get back to those days, but the reality is that I am a grown man now.. You can't just reset the clocks.. Thats not how it works. And I have come to a very harsh truth, given my current situation and circumstances, if I had a daughter, I wouldn't want her dating me. That hurts, but its true. I now realize that I am ready to grow up and take accountability for my own life. No more blaming mom and dad. No more blaming friends. No more blaming society. How Maturity relates to Spiral Dynamics The higher you climb up the spiral, the more people and things you take responsibility for. That is what this work is about, realizing that you are the entire universe. There is no difference between you and the homeless man down the street, or the famous celebrity that just got canceled, or the squirrel that is chasing its mate around a tree, or the alien that lives on Zortan. You are everything. And when you fully realize this, you will not be able to act immature anymore. You won't be able to manipulate women to fulfill your sexual or attention-seeking cravings. You won't be able to blame other people for your problems. You will be truthful and honest. You will be openminded and try to see things from other people's perspective. You will look at the world as a complex system and not from your egoic perspective. Maturity is what it takes to make the leap over to 2nd tier thinking. And the more mature you become, the more selfless you become, and the more selfless you become, the higher up on the the spiral you climb. That is what the spiral is all about, the higher you climb, the more you care about everything that is outside of yourself.

Hey thank you for sharing, this was a really cool assessment to find out what I'm strong and weak in. It is going to take maturity on my end to develop those low scores in my life. What I've learned from your question prompts is that maturity takes work. Everything that I've scored highly, I've put the work into, everything that I've scored lowly, I have not. Career: 2 - No idea what I am doing with my career and have next to no career capital built up Finances/ Money: 3.5 - I am in credit card debt right now, but I feel as though I have a decent mindset around money, which is why I bumped up the score a bit. Health & Wellness: 8 - Eat healthy for the most part, very active, still drink too much alcohol Sexuality / Intimacy: -1 - Super inexperienced dater, don't know how to maturely express my sexuality. Never had sex. Have sexual trauma issues Self Esteem: 5 - I am somewhat grounded, but still doubt myself a lot and talk down on myself. Mindset / Outlook on life: 7 - I am starting to piece things together from all of my book reading and following actualized.org. I feel I have a good conceptual grasp on what life is about Relationships / Boundaries: 6.5 - I have some really good and close friends. I'm close with my family too. My issue is boundary setting - I don't love myself enough to set up boundaries in some of my relationships Family / Parenting / Social Obligations: 7 - Good relationship with most of my family. Social life / Friends: 9 - Have a bunch of friends, handful of super close friends Fun / recreation: 10 - I play basketball twice a week, soccer once a week, hang out with my friends every weekend. I actually have too much fun. I think the mature thing would actually be to cut down on the fun and recreation and work on things like dating, finances, and career Spirituality / Metaphysics / Epistemology: 2.5 - Lots of contemplation and meditation work needs to be done in order to get to where I want to be in this area Politics: 2 - I just don't follow it. Emotional well- being: 5 - I have lots of emotional issues - some good coping strategies - some emotional intelligence Fulfillment: 2 - Not good, I don't work! Theres next to no fulfillment coming from my life. Happiness: 5 - I'm happy half the time Creativity: 5 - Idk, sometimes I think I'm creative sometimes I don't. Maybe I don't really know what it means to be creative Personal Values: 7 - Pretty good morales, I think that my head is on straight Communication skills: 8 - I'm a good communicator. I get my point across to the person if I want to. Lagacy/ impact / Contribution: 0 - I've done nothing with my life to contribute to anyone or anything. Environmental Consciousness: 8 - I recycle, buy grass fed milk, and am genuinely concerned about the planet. Could always do better though Empathy: 8 - I am an empathetic person. I care about other peoples' feelings. I always have, of course I can be selfish sometimes and lack empathy, but overall I think I do a pretty good job on this front. 1. What has contributed the most to your Maturity in your highest-rated areas? Was it a particular experience, practice, a mindset shift, extreme suffering... ? Of my highest rated areas, I have put in the work to get better in those aspects of life. I researched what it takes to be healthy, I work out consistently. I have a great group of friends that I have fun with, I put in the work to develop those relationships. I am empathetic and environmentally conscious, I make the emotional effort to try to feel what other people are feeling, I try to consciously think about the environment. I've put in the work at being a good communicator by talking a lot, and to try to consciously get my point across. I've put in the work to build up a good outlook on life, this took a massive amount of research. 2. In the areas where you feel lacking maturity, what would it take for you to develop and grow? Are there specific actions and experiences to have, habits, or beliefs you need to cultivate...? For me to grow in the areas that I have ranked lowly, I would need to first take full ownership and responsibility for these areas in my life. No one is going to fix them for me. It is now more clear what I need to work on and its going to be difficult, but what else am I going to do with my life? There are two main things that I think would really kick start my life and help me deal with my weaknesses: 1. Stop watching porn, 2. Get a job and starting building career capital.

Where is self- love on the spiral and how do I embody it?

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #30 - Sun Jun 10 '23 - 12:41 PM I Love Neale Donald walsch' Conversations with God. This is my version of it. Okay back to truth work: Lower self: is God real? Higher self: I don't know. What is God? Lower self: God is real. I can feel him. Higher self: How? Lower self: He is in my bones. I can hear his voice. I can smell him in the flowers. I swim with her when it's late and gloomy. She is with me in the shower, washing my hair. I can see her off in the distance, miles away. I can feel her warmth upon my skin. I can hear his raspy voice inside of my head. I can hear his thunderous booms bursting through the windows throughout the night. I can see her bright yellow flashes of magnificence on a cloudy night. I can see him in my mother's face. Oh the beauty. I love you mama. I can see him in my head, bartering at a tag sale. I can feel the love of him throughout my bones. But... where is he? Where has he gone? God: I am right here. With you. Now. Just feel and look. That is it. Feel and look. What do you see? What do you feel? That is how you can find me. Whenever you have lost me. Know that I cannot be lost. For this would be impossible. Where would I go? What would I do? As far as I know there is only one real place to be and let me tell you it's a pretty cool place to be. You can be whatever you want, you can do and have anything that you desire. Now who wouldn't want to live in a place like this? Ben: But there is all of this suffering. Millions of living things dying every day! Now what is so cool about that? God: Ohhhhh come on! I'm the coolest gal around! Ben: No you're not. You cause suffering. I suffer all of the time. All day long. This life is hard! God: What is it that you suffer about? Ben: I suffer because I CANT reach my goals. I can't fall in love with myself let alone another individual. I mean what is wrong with me? God: Nothing is wrong with you my child. You are not unusual. The reason that you suffer is because you want to love. You want to love sooo soooo bad. You want to love every nook and cranny of this universe, of this existence. But it is difficult. I have made it difficult. Ben: But why? Why have you made life difficult? Ben: But why didn't you turn us into God's ourselves? God: You are God. Ben: Yeah but not really. I can't fly on over to Venus or drive my magic school bus to the next galaxy. I didn't create the universe. God: Oh yes you did.. You just forgot! Ben: What???! And why would I forget a thing such as that? God: How else could I experience myself? If you knew exactly who you were, then you would behave like me. I don't want you to behave like me. Behave like yourself. However it is that you would like to behave. That's what you should do. Whatever it is you want to do for a career. Do that. Find a relationship. Start a family. Or don't! I don't care. Do as you wish, and know that there is no judgement going on in the universe unless you want there to be. You are loved and will always be loved. By us all. Ben: But why? Why do you want to experience yourself? God: I already told you. I got bored. So I started creating things. You can only stare at a void of nothingness for so long. I had to make something. Ben: Is the universe really infinite? God: Of course the universe is infinite. What kind of God would I be if I could not create an infinite universe? With infinite possibilities. Infinite meanings. Infinite deceptions. Infinite desires. Infinite creations. Now that... Is a damn cool place to be. Ben: An infinite universe... Wow... Now this is a lot to take on... God: Why is it so hard to believe? Ben: But I don't want to live in a universe that is infinite. That's too big! And that would make me too insignificant. Too small. To worthless. Too unworthy. I am saddened by this. God: Ohhhhh... You humans and your sentimentality. Is it really so bad that you're existence does not have cosmic importance? I mean if it did have cosmic importance, that would be a hell of a lot of pressure, wouldn't it? Have fun with life. Have fun with it. Don't take it so seriously. And most importantly, don't take me so seriously. Enjoy it while you are here. That is all you need to know.

@Zigzag Idiot why is self love paradoxical?

@universe @Oppositionless @Sincerity @Sine Thank you all for the advice. I really like the idea of talking to yourself in a loving way. I'm going to make a conscious effort to to that. Thanks.