Spiritual Warrior

For those of you that have read Jed's Enlightenment trilogy. Which facet of awakening do you think that he attained?

I appreciate the responses. For those that are interested, here's a list of the facets taken from Leos video: Facet of the Non-dual State: To enter a non dual state, to experience a mystical experience Facet of No-self: Realizing that the identity as a human self is an illusion Facet of I-am - Realizing that you are pure I-am ness, this is what the true Self is Facet of the Universe: You experience the entire universe Facet of Omni Presence: Realizing that the I-am-ness is not located anywhere - it's located simultaneously everywhere and no where Facet of Consciousness: You realize what consciousness is and that consciousness is all that there is Facet of Awakening: You realize what it truly means to awaken - you realize that you're entire life is a dream, you literally wake up from your dream state Facet of Oneness or Nonduality: You fully realize that you are one with everything, all boundaries are connected in a unified field of consciousness Facet of Truth: You realize that truth is absolutely everything, you realize what Truth really means Facet of the Absolute: You realize what it means for something to be absolute and not relative, absolute is something that is true under all conditions Facet of Absolute Infinity: You realize that consciousness is infinite, and you experience what infinity is Facet of Absolute Nothingness: You realize that everything is made out of absolutely nothingness, that's what reality is, absolute nothingness, infinity is synonymous with nothingness Facet of Why is There Something Rather than Nothing: You realize that something is the exact same thing as nothing - there is no difference between the two Facet of God: You have a direct encounter with God, you become conscious of what God is Facet of I am God: You realize that you are God Facet of Self Equals Other: The collapse of the boundary between you and other, all other entities are an illusion, you realize that you are all one, therefore you are totally alone Facet of Love: Becoming conscious of what infinite, absolute love is, and that love and truth are identical Facet of Infinite Mind: You realize that everything is Infinite Mind, everything is being imagined in this cosmic, universal mind, God's mind Facet of Self Design: You realize that you are creating and designing yourself, as well as the entire universe Facet of Birth: you realize that you were not born at all, that story is imaginary, you were born by imagining that you were born, you've been alive forever, you've always existed Facet of the Absolute Now: You realize that there is no past and future, everything that has ever happened is happening right now, this moment is completely eternal, you realize that time is an illusion Facet of Death: You realize that death is imaginary, death is impossible, you are totally immortal and eternal because God cannot die Facet of Heaven: you realize that reality is absolute perfection - you have no more fear of death because you realize that death is not real- when you realize that you are immortal, you are in heaven Facet of Bliss: Once you realize that you are living in heaven and that all there is is infinite love, you experience a state of eternal bliss Facet of Infinite Intelligence: You realize that consciousness is infinitely intelligent, you realize that the intelligence of human beings is a tiny little infinitesimal part of infinite intelligence, everything is intelligence Facet of Absolute Goodness: You realize that everything in the universe is absolutely Good, there is no evil Facet of Infinite Will: You realize that everything that is happening right now is happening through the will of God Facet of Infinite Power: God and Will is totally unlimited, you realize that God can do anything and everything because there is nothing outside of God that can limit it, God can limit a human but nothing can limit God Facet of Omniscience: The state of knowing everything Facet of Divinity: You realize what divinity is, what magic is, there's a profound mystery to everything, you realize that you don't know anything about being Facet of Being: You realize what being is, you realize what the substance of reality is Facet of Infinite Fractal: You realize that the universe is an infinite fractal Facet of Perception: You realize what is perception Facet of Life: You realize what it means to be alive and that everything within the universe is alive, the whole system is alive Facet of Purpose: You realize what the purpose of anything and everything that occurs within the universe is, and it is love, your love as God is the purpose of everything

@itsadistraction thank you, I appreciate the compliment and I'm glad that you see value in my posts, it motivates me to continue posting.

Alright, after my last post, I've realized that having to make these posts make sense and be enjoyable to read to a potential reader forces me to make sense of it in my own head, so I am not going to be sloppy with these anymore like entry #47. Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #48 - Sun Sep 17th '23 - 9:53 PM Lower self: I am the creator of the ego. I have constructed myself completely. All of my beliefs, my strengths, my weaknesses, I have constructed everything about myself. I choose my own actions, I choose my own destiny, I choose my own thoughts. I choose my friends, I choose how much time I spend with my family, I choose my job and my livelihood, I choose my hobbies. I am this one that creates a life for itself. Higher self: But where is he? Where is this creator located? Lower self: I don't know.. In the brain I guess... or no where... he's just here... Out in thin air... He has no location. I mean, does he really need one? The voice doesn't have a location. The ego doesn't have a location. Thoughts, emotions, theres no location to anything actually, location is an illusion, it's a relative term. To measure where something is located, it's position within the universe needs to be compared to something else, therefore there is no absolute truth in the location of something. What is absolutely true is that I am a creator. I am creating my life right now as we speak, with my words and with my actions. I am on a train, a train called life, and I can't get off. Even if I kill myself, the train continues moving down the tracks. This is true. Higher self: How do you know that life will continue for you after you die? Lower self: I don't. No one knows that. Higher self: Then why did you say it with such certainty? Lower self: It's like this, if existence is all that I know in my current experience, then existence must be all that there is. Therefore once this body dies, existence will continue because it is all that I know. It's the only thing that I can really count on as absolute truth. Does that make sense? Higher self: No.. that doesn't make sense because isn't it possible for non existence to exist, i.e. once you die and before you were born, you did not experience any existence at all, it was just a black slate, or not even a blank slate, it was just nothing, we can't even fathom or explain what it was because it didn't exist. Lower self: Can you not explain or fathom something that doesn't exist? Higher self: No... if it doesn't exist then it wouldn't be explainable. Something needs to exist in order for it to be able to be communicated. Existence is all there is. Anything that doesn't exist is obsolete, not real, not truth. Lower self: But don't some things exist as an illusion. For example, the TV in front of me exists as a TV, but that is a relative truth. In the absolute sense, it doesn't exist as a TV at all... Higher self: Yes, but it still exists. It exists as an entity. Lower self: ... Does it?? Maybe it doesn't exist at all? Higher self: What are you talking about? Why wouldn't it exist? What, now are you going to tell me that I don't exist either?? Lower self: Maybe you don't .. what if our existence is a simulation. Higher self: So what??? I'd still exist. Even if life is a simulation, the I am-ness would still be there. I would still experience the awareness, the consciousness. Lower self: Ahhh. There we go again, the awareness, the consciousness...what does having awareness and consciousness have to do with existence? Higher self: Well.. anything that exists must have awareness... wait I don't think that's true. Also, there can be awareness everywhere, awareness can be present without it being enveloped into a physical object.. For example, if I am perceiving a tree, I am aware of everything in that field of perception.. I am aware of the distance between myself and the tree, I am aware of the birds chirping, I am aware of the feeling on my toucas. Of course I can shift my awareness from one thing to the other, which is pretty cool, but it's almost as if the awareness is somewhere out there.. if I exist and I am aware... does that mean that existence is required for there to be awareness.. I don't know... maybe.. Lower self: I don't think existence should be talked about in truth work, I cannot trust my own existence. The only thing that I can trust as truth is my own awareness, my current awareness, which makes it so that I have the ability to think, perceive things, write, go to work, dance, talk to people, make love.. this is all possible because I am aware, I am here, I am conscious. Existence is not absolute truth because I do not experience existence. As a matter of fact, existence is a label. I am labeling that I exist.. but I don't know if this physical body actually exists because what the hell is existence anyway? Really, what does it mean for something to exist? Higher self: Existence... for something to exist, it must be here, present within the universe. If it is not present in the universe right now, in this very moment, then it doesn't exist. It's that simple. Lower self: Okay, so... That means that my body did not exist before I was born and it won't exist when I die.. then again the bodies existence is a relative truth. This is what I think the issue is with existence as being truth... the definition of existence... or at least our definition of existence is being used in regard to physical objects, tangible things. When I say that I exist, I'm really talking about the physical body.. the more truthful statement would be to say that I am aware. That is all that I know, that I am alive, conscious, aware. Awareness is everything, not existence. Until next time.

God damn I relate to this so much. I'm really working on this as well in my life. Thank you for sharing.

Transcending the Spiral - Journal Entry #8 -Sat Sep 16th '23 I'm starting to realize that I'm working on characteristics about myself that I see fit, and they span over a few different stages. Another thing that I'm realizing is that SD is just a model, there's nothing inherently true about it. Sometimes the characteristics overlap and they do not necessarily belong in one stage. Ultimately, I am working on what I would like to work on in life. I am using spiral dynamics as merely a guide. There are no rules to this, I do what I want. What am I working on at each stage: Red: Overall, just being solid, not being swayed in any direction by other people, being a force in this world Sticking up for myself or my own ego when I feel as though it has been disrespected or it has been treated unfairly Taking ownership of my own life, not making excuses or blaming others for my problems or shortcomings Not caring what other people think about me Grinding things out if I have to in a situation, whether at work or in a sport or while working out Continue to work out, getting more muscular Never wanting anybody to feel bad for me Blue: To summarize, having high integrity Always be on time to work Doing what I feel is the "right" thing to do in a situation. For example, this literally just happened. I am a host at a restaurant and I sat a party table(6+) in the 2nd servers section. I knew that it was the 1st server's turn for a party table but the 2nd server was standing there ready to serve the party. I had the opportunity to tell the server that the 1st server was going to take that table but I failed to do that because I just didn't want to deal with it. I failed to do what I knew was the right thing to do. I took the easy way out. I want to work on this. When an opportunity arrives to do what's right even though it is going to be difficult or painful, this is the perfect opportunity to work on having high integrity, being a noble, honest person. Working hard, not slacking off (mainly at work) - you need time to relax off from work Treating women with respect, integrity, honesty, being non manipulative towards them, and non needy, not needing anything from them (sex, validation, approval) Orange: Orange is going to be the centerpiece of my life for the next few years as I try to become financially independent, and start having success in dating and career. The finances and dating and successful career are going to take some time to fully actualize as it takes a while to first master my career, then build up the wealth, and also I'm basically starting from ground zero when it comes to success in dating, so let's start off small and work on some practical things. The goal is to become a very successful dance instructor. This will get you the wealth and will also help you be a better dating prospect. Continue working out, but not just for strengths like in stage red, for sexiness, 6 pack abs, look shredded Work hard in your dance training always push yourself to get better Work on relationships with people within the dance studio, this can get you clients and also good practice talking to people Finances: let's try to start saving some money with every pay check, even just a little bit. Some money goes into savings and it CANNOT be touched Charisma: work on cracking more jokes, being more humorous, being magnetic, commanding attention from other people. You can work on this ANYWHERE. At the grocery store, while hosting, while at dance studio And remember to be grateful and content with where you are at right now. Enjoy the journey. You want to be simultaneously content with your current situation while also enjoying the eagerness that comes with striving for new things in life. This is a really good start. Good luck sir.

Hey man, I love the energy but it seems like you're trying to tackle too many things at once. It's like you're trying to apply spiral dynamics to all of your future plans in life. I'd recommend taking a step back and taking a look at one thing at a time. Maybe try to integrate a stage blue that you feel is healthy to you and not toxic, then when you feel like you have a good grasp on that, start to integrate the more success-driven orange, and keep working your way up as you see fit. I don't think anyone here is going to be able to answer your specific questions as a lot of them are personal to your circumstance and you're more than capable of making the assessment yourself if you want to look into them in-depth. Best of luck to you.

Trust your intuition. You already know what the right decision is.

Honestly, I would make a big life change if I were you. If you've been in this rut for years and things haven't gotten better, then I feel like there are some foundational issues that need to be worked on in your life. Maybe your not as happy in your career as you think? Maybe you're not as happy in your relationship as you think? Maybe you want a better social life or don't like the town that you live in? It's possible that you are convincing yourself that you are happy with these circumstances because it's more convenient. Just my two cents, best of luck to you. Also, this belief about yourself is very detrimental to your growth. Whatever you think of yourself is going to determine what actions that you take in life. Work on turning this belief into "I am a strong, capable human being, one that is able to tackle any challenges that life throws at me." You can help it. Start taking ownership of your crappy beliefs and work on turning them around. Best of luck.

I'm not tier 2 just yet :/.... I will be one day.

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #47 - Thu Sep 14th '23 - 10:54 PM * This one might be difficult to follow, I didn't edit it at all or try to write something concise that flows. I had some good insights though so I'm just going to post it. Keep going further. What is the ego? The ego is what I identify with. Any time I think of a memory in which I am in it, that is my ego. The picture of myself is the ego. My beliefs are part of my ego. My personality is part of my ego. How I view myself. Wether I'm attractive or not, tall or short, angry or sad, Can an ego be sad? Yes. For sure. My ego is sad all the time. It gets angry as well. It is the ego that feels things. As opposed to what else? The true self. And what is that? The true self is nothing, it is past the ego. The ego is false, it is not true. There's nothing true about it. It is made up. Completely. No inherent truth in the ego. It certainly feels like the ego is true though, it pulls me to do certain things, take certain actions, it controls everything that Ido. Does it? Does it really have control? Yes. It does. It makes decisions for me. I don't want to feel sad when I wake up in the morning. My ego is responsible for that. I don't want to feel angry or embarrassed or helpless, this is all egos doing. He's such a pest. Get him out of here. He's not a pest, he's trying to survive. And you're trying to kill him by seeing through his bullshit. He's not full of shit either. The world has told him that he is a separate entity. That he is whatever. Whatever beliefs that you have about yourself, that is what the ego thinks of itself. Everything that is possible or not possible, that is what the ego is. I just don't want to suffer anymore. I want to end suffering. And I also want a mature ego. I want to have high integrity. I want to have an ego that other egos can look up to. "Hey, that's a mature ego, one that is stable, solid, in control of itself." The ego needs to mature before it can be transcended. Why can't it mature and transcend simultaneously? These are not opposite things, there are no opposites in this world. I can do both at the same time. Yeah, that makes sense... but how are you going to mature the ego? By being mature about things. By not getting too wrapped up in my emotions about a situation. By doing what I feel is right in every situation, by having high integrity, being whole, living by solid principles, such as always being on time, treating everyone the way that you would like to be treated, respecting myself, respecting my own ego, respecting my egos desires as well, not dismissing my emotions, wants, desires as stupid, by having a confident ego, one that tackles objectives, one that doesn't step on anyone's toes. I want to develop my ego while still doing truth work. As a matter of fact, truth work is inherently required in order to help the ego mature. If I wasn't journaling then I wouldn't have realized this thing about the importance of my own ego. I now have a spotlight on him, a new realization of what he's all about and how I should handle him. Is the ego not you? No. Not at all. Who am I talking to right now? it feels like the higher self. Or my true nature, or maybe it's the ego, talking to itself. The ego knows that it can be irrational, but it is now aware of it. No, I like the idea that the me talking right now is about the ego. Im looking at the ego as a separate entity. This is going to give me clarity as to what it is. What about the voice? What is the voice? Is the voice ego? The voice... the voice is coming out right now. It is what's responsible for what's is being written in this page. This is the voice. These words are the voice, right now. Is this ego? Is this higher self? Who the fuck is talking right now? I am talking. I'm talking right now. I am. Where are you? I'm right here. That's all I know. I exist. I am here. That is truth. This is all I know. Is existence. Existence. Is. All. There. Is. I exist. I am speaking words onto a screen. Is that true? There's nothing true about the words or about my thoughts. Why not? Don't they exist? No, because they are fleeting. Words are fleeting. And they are just symbols on a screen. There's nothing foundational about them. Thoughts are always fleeting, nothing without a doubt true about that. But my very existence here on earth in this body is what truth is...well actually it's not the body or being on earth, those are stories. It is the awareness, the awareness that I have right now. The "i am" ness. That is all I know. That is all that there is. That's all that's true. The I am ness. The me ness. The existence. The present awareness of whatever's going on. It's not the thoughts or the body or the ego. As a matter of fact, the ego is made up of thoughts. That's all the ego is. Thoughts. Compounding thoughts. What is real is the awareness of the thoughts or the awareness of the body. Pure awareness. It's like the middleman between the perceiver and what is being perceived. So if I'm looking at a tree. I am the perceiver. The tree is the thing being perceived. What's real, what's true is that there is perception of the tree going on, there is an awareness, an ever presence going on in between the tree and myself. That's what is real, that's what is true. The tree is not what's real, the body is not what's real, it's the awareness going on between the two things.

This is a good opportunity for you to set some boundaries with your buddies if you are ready for that. If something that they are doing is angering you, then they should hear about it. I know I would want to hear about it if I was bothering one of my friends with my actions. If they are true friends and care about you, they will take what you are saying with respect. I would get it out any way that you can, but try to be as direct as possible, they need to know exactly what they are doing that is making you mad.

I wouldn't suppress the red shadow, if it comes up then let it run it's course. As you climb higher, it will fizzle itself out for the most part. I actually think that this is your psyche or higher self telling you that there are red qualities that you want to integrate in your life. A few months ago, I realized that I am too much of a pushover so I decided that I was going to make sure I had red more integrated in my life. I started thinking about my own needs over other people's, started working out (angrily I might add), and in situations with friends I would put conscious attention on making sure that I was solid - not allowing myself to be swayed to do things I didn't want to do or to react a certain way in order to get approval. I became a little bit more of a jerk and more standoffish for a short while, but I set some boundaries with friends and family, got a little bigger, and started to respect myself more. Eventually, the jerk facade faded and what was left was a solid, don't fuck with me internal facade. I'm not outwardly a jerk, but if you overstep the boundaries that I have set, you are going to hear about it. That's what integrating a healthy red looks like in my opinion.

This "catalyst" thing happened for me when I got a job back in June of this year. Prior to this, I took a break from working and was travelling and working on personal development. This started back in January of 2022. When I got back from my travels in January of 2023, I was very sad and couldn't motivate myself to get a job, this stint lasted 6 months. I finally got a job as a host at a restaurant. I've learned plenty of things from this job as I am now a better communicator and it also forced me to become more comfortable being around pretty women, who make me nervous. About a month and a half ago, I got what seems to be like my dream job. I went to this dance studio to learn how to dance and somehow a guy there got me an interview to work there. I was hired that following day, and I love everything about the job. The people there are amazing, it's located in a town that I love, and I genuinely enjoy going into work. This all started when I got off of my ass and got a job. I told the universe that I was ready to work and the universe took care of me. Like you said, this was not a magic bullet that solved all of my problems, there have been many ups and downs, and there will continue to be, but I am happy right now with the direction in my life.... until the next chapter. Best of luck to you man.

Can you explain what the red shadow is??

Jed McKenna Interlude: No Belief is True "Self-realization, truth realization isn't a state of consciousness. You want to bring this whole thing down to a level that you can deal with it. But that's not possible.. truth isn't an idea or a concept. It's not in libraries or in the words of sages. It doesn't come in a flash of insight or a peak experience. Its not a feeling of bliss or ecstacy. It's not a concept to be understood or a feeling to be experienced. It's not in your heart or your mind. It's further. We're talking about lies, important lies. Lies right at the heart of who and what we are. We're making serious accusations. We're committing heresy because that's what heresy is, truth talk in the dream state. Spiritual awakening is about discovering what's true. Anything that's not about getting to the truth must be discarded. Truth isn't about knowing things. You already know too much. It's about unknowing. It's not about becoming true, it's about unbecoming false, so that all that's left is truth. If you want to become a priest or a lama or a rabbi or a theologian then there's a lot to learn, tons and tons. But if you want to figure out what's true, then it's a whole different process, and the last thing you need is more knowledge. Beliefs are candles that man uses to ward off the surrounding darkness. They are the charms that we use to hold infinity at bay, to dispell the black cloud that hovers over every head. Your moments of blackest despair are really your most honest moments, your most lucid moments. That's what you're seeing without your protective lenses. That's when you pull back the curtain and see things as they are. No belief is true. No. Belief. Is. True. All beliefs, all concepts, all thoughts, yes, they're all false. All bullshit. Of course they are. Not just religions and spiritual teachings but all philosophies, all ideas, all opinions. If you're going for the truth, you're not taking any of them with you. Nothing that says two, not one.. survives. That's what I say. It rings true because it is true." ~ From one of Jed McKenna's books

This is a story about how a stage red character was brought up, from his environment to his upbringing. How do we get a person like this to move up the spiral? You get him into a church, get him to start believing in something bigger than himself. Good luck Malcolm. Malcolm by G Herbo Once upon a time around the Southside A young black man grew up in a house Had a pops he never knew, with a mom thats strung out His granny careless just about, say he'll never make it out Of the hood and had a handful of aunties that could vouch Young n**** named Malcolm, all his homies called him Malc' Big brother off in college, Malcolm took another route From gang bangin', caine slangin', moms threw him out the house Stuck on probation, on and off since 13, been in and out Soon as he turned 17, s*** got super wild Still a juvenile, he just totin' Rugers now He shotin' now, streets got him, Malcolm ruthless now .........

If this is something that you want to pursue, then go for it man. You will figure out all of the details later. I can tell that this excites you to your core. That means that you are onto something special. Just get out there and start finding a way to make it work, things will fall into place if you show the universe that you are serious about this. Also, I wouldn't be too proud to not use your mom's help, she is happy to help and it will make her feel good.

You first need to assess where you are at on the spiral. To do this, I would look at the character traits at each stage. If you find a character trait desirable, then that means that you have not transcended it and are stuck on that aspect of the spiral. You should work on that character trait, and only after you have embodied it can you transcend that aspect of the spiral. If you find no character traits desirable at a stage, then that means you do not need this stage anymore and can move onto the next one. You should also remember that certain character traits may seem similar at two different stages. For example, you have charisma at both red and orange, but red charisma is much different than orange charisma. Red charisma is much more selfish. Be honest with yourself as to which you identify with more. Of course, you can still trigger lower stages, such as orange or red while playing sports if that is fun for you.

Nope, materialism is more orange than red. Aggression is more red than orange.

By his auntie he was molested as a baby boy Messed up his head, it even changed the way he played with toys Up late night rappin' and they told him to quit making noise Stuck in his feelings, he been spendin' every day annoyed He wanna stand over a n**** and leave his face destroyed He miss his hood, now thats something that he can't avoid

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #46 - Fri Sep 8th '23 - 9:02 AM Higher self: What is true? Lower self: Nothing. Nothing is true. I've got nothing for you. Higher self: Nope... Something is true. Lower self: Yes ... something is true, but I can't use words to explain it, so whats the point. Higher self: The point is to get you there. How else are you going to get there? By watching more Leo videos or reading more books or meditating more? You don't even like meditating... Lower self: Okay fine.... Everything is one. Higher self: Everything is one, aye? What does that mean. What is everything and what is one? Sounds like a duality to me. Lower self: Yes, it is a duality. But dualities do not exist. Thats what this paradox thing is telling us, that there is a fault in the way that we are looking at things. We want to start looking past it. Everything is literally all there is in the entire universe. Everything, by my definition is the entire universe, God, every emotion that you can think of, every event that you can think of, every single thought stream coming out of a sentient being, every plant on this planet or any other, every star in the entire galaxy and beyond, every grain of sand on the beach, every molecule in the human body, all of the water in the sea and ocean on Earth and on every other planet, every video game, every human being that ever existed, every dinosaur that ever existed, every animal, current and past and future, every rock, every boulder, every eye ball, every disease, every infection, every fight, every bar, every insult, every dream, all energy fields, every color, every piece of music, every event that has ever transpired and will ever transpire, every book, every piece of clothing, every neck tie, every job application, every beating heart, every brain, every tornado, every comet crashing into something, every movie and TV show, every Instagram account, every Twitter account, every sentient being on the Earth and outside of it, every hallucination, every acid trip, every picture that you think is in your head, every airplane, every shoe, every shoe lace, every window, every flower, every tree, every forest, every sunset, ever lake, every river, every ocean, every road, every state, every country, every continent, every boat, Magellan, Isaac Newton, Benjamin Franklin, my best friends, my family, every ego, every shin guard, every shin, every soccer ball, football, baseball, cricket, every sporting event, every school, every water fountain, every slice of pizza, every building, every sky scraper, every train ride, every train ticket, every pen, every pencil, every factory, every yoga class, every whole foods, every psychological model, every guru, every alien, every UFO, every Youtube video, every idea, every conspiracy theory, Jed McKenna, every awakening, every spiritual pursuit, every church, every religion, every football team, every high school clique, every sexual encounter, every kiss, every crush... shall I go on? And that is only scratching the surface because I have a limited perspective here on Earth, in this puny human body. Get me out into the stars like you God and I'll be able to see the whole god damn universe. Higher self: Okay... we understand what everything is.. Now what is one? Lower self: One. well, one is the first number in the numerical language.. Higher self: Thats not what you mean by one... you said that everything is one... what does that mean to you? Lower self: It means that everything can be encapsulated in one thing. That is truth. I know that its true because it must be true. Everything has to be encapsulated in something. I guess I'm really just putting everything in a box. I'm categorizing everything, but theres really only one category and it is one... I could add more categories, but that just doesn't feel right. Higher self: I don't get it. Lower self: Yeah me neither... Aright just let me think out loud for a little bit... Well we know that these paradoxes are always true, right? If a statement is a paradox, that means that we are onto something... thats what I am going to conclude from some of our previous discussions.. and "everything is one" is certainly a paradox... Higher self: Can you explain why its a paradox please. Lower self: Because everything is everything, take all of the examples that I listed above and multiply it by infinity... and one is just one thing, it is singular, I mean truthfully when I think of one, I think of one person, one lamp, one desk, one plant. Singular. So that is not everything, that seems like the complete opposite... Which is what makes the statement a paradox... Yet it is such a common term "Oh yeah... everythings one, we are all one, lets all love each other." Yet no body stopped and questioned that this is the most obvious paradox that there is?! Jesus christ we are missing this shit. Of course I never realized it either until I sat down and thought about it so I'm not above it either.. I'm sorry for judging all of you people. Anyways, this is a massive paradox, we know this now, which means that there is truth to it? Can we conclude that truth lies within every paradoxical statement? Higher self: I don't know... I think thats a stretch... what are the paradoxical statements that we've come up with so far? Lower self: "Everything is one" "Nonduality is true" "Non-existence exists" Higher self: No. we cannot conclude that, we need to look into each statement in further depth. Lower self: Okay, yeah I can tell that I was being lazy with that claim. A big problem with this work is that its mentally draining. I feel like I just ran 30 laps but only gained an inch. Higher self: Yes, thats the nature of the work... Lower self: Alright... thanks for that... *Long pause* Now lets gain a little more understanding on the statement "Everything is one," So everything is infinite things, and one is just one thing... how can everything be one... is infinity packed into a single molecule... or a single body... I don't think so... so that means that they are opposites... but no they are not opposites because opposites do not exist, opposites are human mind constructions... But everything can't be one. It just can't be. Higher self: Alright... I'm going to help you out a little bit. I think that what the statement is alluding to is that God is in everything. We humans are all one in the sense that we are all God. Lower self: Okay but even a statement like God is in everything doesn't make any sense to me because I don't know what God is, I just talk to him sometimes but don't even know if its real. You know what... everything cannot be one, thats my answer to this. The shirt that is laying out on the chair in front of me is a singular object. It is NOT infinite. not infinite at all. If it were infinite, it would look infinite and it doesn't, its just a shirt, a single fucking shirt. Higher self: What about all of the cotton threads within the shirt, there must be thousands that make up the singular shirt, does that make the shirt a thousand cotton threads or just one thread. Lower self: I don't know, it depends how you look at it, yeah sure.. you could say "Hey, that person is wearing a thousand cotton threads"... but you'd sound pretty silly. Higher self: Okay... so your definition of one depends upon the persons perspective, which means that it is a relative truth. Lower self: Yeah... sure. Whats your point? Higher self: My point is that we are looking for absolute truths, not relative truths... Therefore, your definition of what one is is relative, it is not absolute. Lower self: Fine then, lets just scrap the "everything is one" statement, its fine by me, not true, get it out of here... Higher self: Okay.. I can tell you are getting aggravated, I think its time for a break. Just to clarify, I think that I have been harping on "Everything is one" as something to look into because I intuit that there is some truth to it. And I think that we should trust my intuition when it comes to where we want our conversations to be steered. Lower self: Yes, I'm on board with that. I need some food, I'll talk to you later.

God Interlude: Fantasy Football Ben: What's up God or higher self, whoever the fuck you are. What's good dawg, how are you doing? God: What up homie. I'm good, my fantasy football team is looking pretty good this year ngl, I was afraid that Travis Kelce tore his ACL, but I think that he'll be alright. I drafted him 1st round because that dude's a freakin' beast. Ben: What?! God... you have a fantasy football team? God: Of course. What, is God not allowed to have a little bit of fun. Ben: But... but... who else is in the league... the Easter bunny, Santa Clause...? God: Hahahaha very funny... no.. I'm in every fantasy football league that there is on Earth. I drafted every single player and by every single team that there is. Ben: That's a lot of drafting... God: Yes it is, but I have the help of you tiny humans to help me out. We are capable of having a lot of fun together. Don't you think? Ben: Wait so you drafted my fantasy football team for me? God: Not for you, but with you. I am inside of you and I am you. We are one and the same, remember? Ben: Yeah I remember, this is just going to take some getting used to... I mean, how can you be everywhere at once? God: I am the infinite shape shifter. I am everywhere at once because I am literally everything that there is. Don't you understand that? There is no universe without me. The universe and God are the same size, we are both so massive and extravagant, as a matter of fact God and universe are the exact same. But I like to use the word God because it entails a sentient being, capable of having emotions and as we are discussing right now, having fun... anything that you are capable of experiencing, I also am capable of experiencing because I am all. Ben: But if you are all and you are God.... then I am also God because God is all and I am a singular part of "all" God: Yes, that's correct.

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #45 - Wed Sep 6th '23 - 8:50 AM 13.*Look around and say to yourself* A meaningless world engenders fear. *Close your eyes.* A meaningless world engenders fear because I think I am in competition with God. "To move forward, you must figure out exactly what is obstructing you. Whatever it is, it isn’t really there; it has no reality, no substance. It’s your own creation, a phantom lurking in the shadows of your mind, a shadow demon. Your obstructions are your demons, and your demons are shadow dwellers. They live and thrive in the half-light of ignorance, so the way to slay a demon is by illuminating it with the full force and power of your focused attention; by looking at it, hard. Banish shadow with light and see for yourself that no obstruction exists, nor ever did. We create our demons and we feed them. To awaken we must slay them. That’s really the whole process: Slay one demon, take one step. Repeat." ~ from Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment by Jed McKenna Higher self: Lets take this duality conversation one step further. If duality does not exist, what else does that mean? We established that the thought of two things being opposites is an illusion, according to this insight, what else is an illusion? Lower self: Everything. Everything is an illusion. Higher self: Okay... Give me an example. Lower self: My entire life story is an illusion. Everything about it. My past is an illusion. My friends are an illusion. My cat .. an illusion. The people that I love... Illusion. Higher self: How do you know they are an illusion? I feel like you're just saying these things with no way of backing it up or proving it. You don't truly understand the magnitude of these statements. And what does this have to do with nonduality? Lower self: Nonduality is "all is one." That's literally what it means to be nondual. That means that there is nothing outside of it, which means that anything that is finite or separate, such as my puny little body and my memories and thoughts and family and circle of friends, they are all nondual. Everything is nondual. Higher self: Hmmm. Okay that's interesting, but there are still finite things, you must admit. The chair has a different makeup than the table and than a physical human body. Lower self: Not in the absolute sense, there is no difference between the two, not really. The difference between the two has been constructed in our own minds. The chair and the human are one and the same. Higher self: Hmmm... Interesting.. but you care about the survival of the human body more than the chair that you are sitting on. Lower self: Yes of course because I want to live. I don't want to die. I don't care about that chair because I don't live through the chair, I live through this physical body. I am selfish, we all must be in order to survive. Higher self: Can you transcend survival? Lower self: Yeah probably, but I think that we are all scared to because then we will literally be okay with dieing. Higher self: Well that's where you're headed if you continue down this path... Is that a demon that you are willing to face... Lower self: Errrrrr... Yes, I think so.

Today, you were far away And I didn't ask you why What could I say? I was far away You just walked away And I just watched you What could I say? How close am I To losing you Tonight You just closed your eyes And I just watch you Slip away How close am I To losing you Hey, are you awake? Yeah I'm right here Can I ask you About today How close am I? To losing you How close am I? To losing...