Spiritual Warrior

Transcending the Spiral - Journal Entry #15 - Thur Nov 2nd '23 : How would a stage yellow character act in Pickup? How would a stage yellow person act when hitting on women? He would put his own insecurities to the side and focus on the task at hand, he would act with integrity and nobility (blue) he wouldn't let a girl be rude to him or ridicule him (red), he feels icy and confident and dresses nicely (orange) he is filled with love in his heart, ready to surrender if he can (green) He understands the male-female dynamic and how it works on a systemic level. He understand that there are reasons that attractive people are difficult to find. There are reasons that attractive women don't like to walk down the street alone. There are reasons that guys are frustrated and struggle with attracting women. There are reasons that women will not fall for the nice guy. There are reasons why women find bad boys so alluring. This is stage yellow, understanding the dynamics on a far reaching level, not just for your own agenda. (Yellow)

Hmmm... Okay that's an interesting perspective, I get where your coming from now. I would say that I didn't get either of them to invest, I was just entertainment for them for the night. Yeah I actually think you're right ... That makes me feel crappy, like I'm a toy being used... Of course I am using every other girl that I hit on as a toy as well.... I don't want that one particular girl... I mean I do... But it's just for the experience... To put another notch on my belt.. so I guess we're both using each other.. that's how this works.

This is such a negative way of framing the situation. It is uninspiring. Why do you think like this? Wouldn't you rather inspire people by giving actual advice or encouragement?

Start working on yourself, use her essence as motivation to be a better man. Get to a point where you're so fucking sick that she doesn't need you to change religions. Why is she trying to change you anyway? To become that guy, you have to meet new girls, become more mature, improve your looks, improve your physique, improve your relationship to your mother, improve your relationship to God, improve anything and everything that you can. Aim high, very fucking high. This work is beyond just one girl, but use her as motivation at least to start.

And I think of you growing old and it breaks my heart.

Lets focus on the first three points for now: 1. Get her to qualify herself: Girl one: Completed. She approached me directly through one of her friends on the dance floor. I did not show immediate interest and continued dancing around. Her friend approaches me again and again, making eye contact with me. Eventually I walk up to girl one and dance in front of her for 10 seconds, then put my hand out, she grabs my hand and we dance for 30 minutes straight. She is hooked. Girl two: Completed: She started talking about the job that she hates, then she starts talking about the pottery that she makes and shows me her Pottery Instagram page. I am allowing her to qualify herself. As a matter of fact, I would not have asked her for her number if she was unable to qualify herself as an interesting person. 2. Set the premise for future plans Girl one: Failed. No future plan talk. Girl two: Failed. No future plan talk. (Next time a girl says that shes into pottery or the arts, I'm going to say we should go to this pottery place near my work and make some artwork together.) 3. Get you name and # in her phone Girl one: Completed: I put my number in her phone with my name on it. Girl two: Failed: I took down her number into my phone. I didn't feel comfortable enough with her to grab her phone and put my phone number in it. Thank you @Raze , this was helpful.

Could it be possible that you are just afraid of either loving someone fully or allowing yourself to be loved fully? That is why you are not going after the goal / girl? If you engage in pickup with integrity, then you won't be crossdressing, you will become your authentic self. I'm not trying to please a random person, I am in love with the feminine and want to explore this field.

Transcending the Spiral - Journal Entry #14 - Thur Nov 2nd '23 : Stage Yellow Trigger Attempt I will be playing in a basketball game tonight and I am going to use this opportunity to trigger stage yellow. A stage yellow basketball player will be able to take his own success completely out of the equation and will be able to focus on the systemic success of the entire team.

Principle 1: Take 100% Responsibility for your life Write down some things that I blame other people for: I had a difficult childhood. It's my family's fault My friends aren't very ambitious, so neither am I. It's their fault. up until now, I have blamed women for my lack of success with them. I blame them for being difficult to talk to, for not giving me a chance, for only wanting the hottest guy in the bar. I blame D***** and Y***** and I*** for me not being happy right now at the dance studio Now, let's flip this around. How would I think about these situations if I were to take full responsibility for them. 1. Instead of blaming my family for my difficulties, I could focus on and be grateful for the value that they have added to my life. I take 100% responsibility for my life because I have 100% control over what I do about it. 2. Instead of blaming my friends for their lack of ambition, I can take full responsibility for my own ambition and motivation in life. I am a warrior, a warrior that is geared and ready to take down any demon that dares cross my path. 3. Instead of blaming women for my lack of success with them, focus on what you can do right now, right fucking now to improve. Focus on talking with them more, making them feel more comfortable. If you are resenting them, feel into the resentment, and then later ask yourself why the resentment. 4. Instead of blaming the workers at the dance studio for my unhappiness, I could take my own unhappiness into my own hands. How could I do that? If I am feeling useless because I don't have any lessons to teach, I could start writing down what I am going to teach in my next lesson. I could have a plan when I go into the dance studio, "this is what I am going to work on today because I want to accomplish or achieve x, y, and z."

When I'm angry, I direct my anger towards God I find this to be the perfect outlet for my anger. Instead of directing my anger towards another person, I direct it towards the all powerful. I blame him for the situation that I'm in, and I blame her for making the world this way and not another way. I don't hold back because I don't mind teeing off on God, I know that he can take it. If I am angry at another human, I always hold back, I am unable to let my ego rip into them because deep down I know that they are doing the best that they can.. God is also doing the best that she can, but I don't think his feelings will get hurt if I yell at her... or maybe they do... Anyways, I think that this is the perfect outlet for my anger. I believe that every tribulation and difficult time that I go through, God is putting this obstacle in front of me so that I can either successfully jump over it... or so that I can trip and fall flat on my face. I try to learn a lesson from every fall, but it can be frustrating when it feels like I've wiped out on the past seven hurdles. God, its noting personal, I still love you.

@gettoefl Hahah I love it. I've been wanting to do something like that as well. There's something about letting out physical aggression that is a great release for frustration and anger.

Yeah that's a great point. I wasn't being playful or funny at all in the text, it was all logical, mechanical, boring, like a robot asking a girl to hang out with him.

This is exactly what I sent: "Hi _____, ______ and ______ are having a Halloween party at their house in ________ on Saturday and I was just wondering if you would like to come" No response. She also knows the people throwing the party so I thought that it would make her super comfortable, but I do see your point. Maybe the party invite wasn't the best idea, shes also 33 so might not be her scene. Would she have responded to a coffee or bar invite? Not sure... Maybe I was scared of taking her out on a real date... so I took the easy route and invited her to a party... This is what I said to the second girl that I met at a bar and talked to for 15 minutes. "Whats up ______. This is Ben from the bar. I found this pottery place in _______ where they give you supplies and you get to mess around and make stuff for a couple of hours. Would you like to go with me?" And I put the link to the place. No response. I remembered that she enjoys doing pottery, so I thought this would be a cool date idea. I probably didn't create enough comfortability between the two of us to ask her out on a date immediately. Maybe in this situation I should be conversing with her a little bit through text before asking her out. The problem with this is that I don't enjoy texting... I just want to talk in person.

Thank you everybody, I found this very beneficial and comforting and I appreciate the time and energy that you all put into this. Here are my lessons learned from all of you: It is normal to not get responses back from my texts. Things that I can do to get more responses back: Lead better at the first interaction, I want to be planning our future together right from the tip off. Getting laid can actually be the take off point into having an intimate relationship. So maybe I should just start trying to lead the girl into having sex with me. Maybe there is nothing wrong with this and it is actually how it works... We all love sex. I need more volume. 2 numbers in two weeks is NOT ENOUGH It's about the journey. Going through the ups and downs of this work is the real reward. Don't get too attached to one particular girl. You are meant to be with that special someone but that will come at the end of the pick up rainbow. Buckle in and enjoy the ride. And I trudge on...

Yes.... I love this. I just learned about this in my dance instructor training... You want to implant a vision of the future in your students mind... when it comes to pickup.. you want to implant a vision of our future together in the girls mind. It's the same idea. Nice insight, thank you.

I want a serious relationship though, not trying to get laid

Take a dance class and attend weekly. If you take this seriously, you will get very good and will absolutely kill it at social gatherings. You will be able to walk up to any girl at the venue with a cheeky smile and ask them to dance with you because you'll know you're the shit. I'm a dance instructor, I've seen guys change their confidence in dancing from 0 to 100 in just a few months. NOBODY knows how to dance because no one actually takes the time and money to learn from a real instructor. Put in the work, put in the time and you can be a phenomenal dancer.

The warrior trudges on, not knowing which demon he will face next. The counterintuitive nature of this work is that it is all the same thing. There is no difference between pursuing material desires and pursuing lofty spiritual ones, they are one and the same, and both paths are leading to the exact same place. From God: Have fun in the dream state, that is why I have put you here... you can dream up anything that you like... and if you don't like the current dream that you are in, dream up another one... the possibilities are endless. You will realize that you are God when you are good and ready. You never want to say "I should do this" or "I should do that" there are no obligations in this world. You are free to do as you please. Let your spirit guide you down the path.

I am posting in here to address that I will be taking a break from spiritual enlightenment work. The truth is that I am having a lot of fun in the dream that I am in right now. I am having fun with my job as a dance instructor, I am having fun chasing women around and trying to get them on dates, I am having fun pursuing money and a better life, I am having fun connecting with people, all of this is a trip, I want to continue dreaming. I have a baseline understanding of what this spiritual work entails and what it is all about. I understand it conceptually. These things are important and I think that they will help me immensely in the long run as I will get sick of pursuing material desires at some point. That is when I'll dive back into the spiritual work, when I'm 35 or 40. Right now, I'm young and trying to make a name for myself, let this shit ride. This dream is fun, have fun in it. I don't want to wake up just yet. Dear future Ben, I will do whatever it takes to master the skills that I need to master early on so that you can focus on higher, lofty ideals when you are ready. I will work hard for you, with integrity and nobility and honesty. Good luck to you and everybody in this life. We all deserve to be happy and to have our dreams actualized. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

Transcending the Spiral - Journal Entry #13 - Sun Oct 29th '23 : Music Stage Red: Fighting for survival, getting hyped, screaming, growling, hollering Stage Blue: Devotion, hard work, contributing to a higher cause or purpose Stage Orange: Flowey, smooth, bragadocious, charismatic, charming Stage Green: This song symbolizes a person reaching the breaking point of orange, the person has a quarter life crisis, realizes that all of this stuff that he or she has been striving for is all meaningless, he/ she does something radical like shaves his/her own head and is now ready to pursue something else, i.e. stage green, love, compassion, spirituality.

What do you think women in general want out of a long term relationship? Of course personalities and values vary and everyone's unique, but what are some patterns that you've found?

Hi all, I met a girl at a wedding last night, we danced all night and I would pull her to the side every once in a while and chat for a few minutes. I got her number at the end of the night. She is very reserved and quiet and shy. What is a good first date idea? She seems very into me so I know that she will answer positively, I'm just trying to figure out what kind of date would make her the most comfortable. She seems inexperienced and I don't want to overwhelm her. Should I try to go back to a salsa dancing club? This is my specialty, I'm a good dancer. I could also have a buddy come with me and bring a girl. Not sure if that would make her more or less comfortable though? I could go for a coffee date, but I feel like thats taking a step backwards as we were dancing very intimately on the dance floor. A coffee date is very casual, not really what I want to do anyway, so I think this one's out. I could take her to a bar and try to incorporate some hopping around, grab a bit here, grab a drink here, walk around for a little bit, etc. I could combine 1 and 3, take her out for a drink, maybe a bite, walk around a little bit so that we get some alone time and then make our way to meet up with my buddy and dance at the salsa club. I would love some input from any of you, thank you.

Don't you think spirituality makes you a more empathetic person? Which would make you a more compassionate and loving partner?

What is a "normie"?

I struggle to be genuinely happy for other people's success. For example, my best friend just got married and the whole time when they were doing their dance, I was thinking about this other girl that I wanted to ask to dance or how I looked in other people's eyes. I couldn't focus on the happiness that the couple shared with each other. Another example is, this girl is getting a lot of dance lessons and is doing a great job. Meanwhile, I still haven't been given my first lesson, I find it very difficult to be happy for her because I am jealous of her success. I understand conceptually that other people's success is the same as my own, but it sure as hell doesn't feel that way. I am able to feel genuinely happy for other people sometimes but I usually need to be doing well myself. For example, if I am playing well in my basketball game, things are flowing, then I am capable of being genuinely happy for the success of the other players. However, if I am not playing well then I am like fuck everyone else, I only care about myself. I think this is shining a light on how selfish I truly am and how much growing I still need to do. Of course I shouldn't beat myself up, this is just where I'm at, there's nothing wrong with it.