Spiritual Warrior

You replace every negative thought with a positive thought by using positive affirmations (repeating the positive thought over and over again), visualizing something positive happening in your direct experience, using the Lefkoe method to get rid of limiting beliefs that were engrained in you from your childhood, and in general just trying to consciously steer your mind into more positive thinking. This will help you achieve your goals because negative thoughts are completely useless when it comes to achieving what you want and being happy. Yes, these methods work.

Exploring the Feminine Entry #14 Work girl rant: Alright I need to talk about work girl again. Here's the thing, I don't give a fuck anymore. I cannot talk to her about my feelings for her and that I'm trying to get back to normal .. because you know what? I don't want things to go back to normal! I'm still hurting, I don't want to talk to her and I don't want to see her. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that! I don't need to do something that I don't want to do, and although talking to her and being honest with her in a sober one on one situation would be a great life experience for me and help both of us grow, I am clearly not ready to have a conversation like that. I went into the day on Friday prepared to pull her to the side and talk with her. I even practiced what I was going to say, but I couldn't do it... Because she scared me lol. Literally, she scared me... Ughhhhhh 😩 why do I have to be scared of this girl... Why does that happen? Fuck that dude... Fuck that! Im not going to be scared of her! I don't want to give her that power! When I went in on Friday I went in with love in my heart for her... Because I wanted to repair what we had and say sorry... But then I realized that I couldn't talk to her and I felt like such a bitch... Like an absolute bitch. The power that I felt I had throughout the week was completely gone. Because I wanted to do something and I couldn't. I don't want to repair anything .. I'm sorry but I'm still f'ing pissed off and hate her right now. Fuck this shit! Get her out of my head and out my life! You know what's really funny? Although I'm making such a big deal about this, I'm actually looking forward to going in on Tuesday and seeing her... Because it's a challenge, it's all a challenge... And honestly I don't know how I am going to act.... I have no idea... And that's whats so exciting about this work ... And that's also why you shouldn't be rehearsing conversations... No, you go into something with an intention and then you go from there... You feel it out .. and you trust your intuition and your feelings... And you do what you do. There's no need to plan. If I continue exploring the feminine with this kind of awareness I will become all-pro in this area.

@CARDOZZO gracias

I'm interested in the things that you're talking about but I couldn't scroll back far enough to find the book title of this "Zan" guy, would you mind posting the book title again please?

How do I know if I like a girl or if I just want to have sex with her? Are they essentially the same thing, or can you have one without the other?

Exploring the Feminine Entry #13 I don't know why but I love how emotional woman are, I find it so cute and endearing. This is going to sound weird, but I actually get turned on when a girl cries, especially when it's over something really silly and stupid. A girl can literally hear the words "dead dog" and start to ball her eyes. I love it, a man isn't capable of being this emotional over such things.

Exploring the Masculine Entry #2 The feminine wants the masculine to challenge her, not some guy that dotes on her and agrees with everything that she says, she wants him to be authentically himself. The feminine wants the masculine to go for what he wants, with confidence and integrity and honesty and nobility, no fake shit. Whenever you are about to text a girl something or say something to a girl, ask yourself, "do I actually want to say this?"

Exploring the Feminine Entry #12 Alright, what happened last night? I am not very good at leading that girl from work. I came in yesterday and I wanted to talk to her about the fact that I am really going to try to make things not weird between us but I couldn't summon up the courage. I lamely said "hey do you want to talk about last weekend at some point?" With my hands in my pockets. She said "If you want to, but I mean I'm fine." But it's not fine, things are weird between us and I need to lead us out of it, I'm the man, and I put us in this mess. I danced with a couple of women during the social dancing part of our dance event. I love dancing, if I'm feeling down I just ask someone to dance with me and I feel better. I like dancing with women that are worse dancers than me because it is easier and I don't feel as bad when I fumble around. I want to work on this because Id like to dance with the really good woman dancers, this will help me progress and also it's not fair to them if I don't ask them to dance. I'm also way more nervous if the woman is attractive... I'm working on this as well. So we went to the bar after work and I completely separated myself from that girl that I like. I didn't want to be around her. I ended up having a lot of fun, I got my own drink at the bar, then went onto the dance floor and danced with this really drunk girl, she was a lot of fun but was just throwing her body around at me lol and Im not that big, at one point she tried to do a dip (unprovoked I might add) and I dropped her lmao. I was dancing for a while and I could see that this girl from work kept looking at me, I'm going to call her work girl from now on. What the fuck does this mean? Does she like me but just won't admit it? Or maybe she just wants to go back to being friends and is jealous that I'm having fun without her. We really did have a really nice and fun work relationship until my feelings got involved. I need to talk to her IN PERSON! It's time to man up. I talked to this other girl at the bar, and we talked about dating and how hard it is and all of the lessons learned from it. She was very nice and I hope she finds a nice partner. I didn't feel attraction towards her. I decided to leave at midnight and head to another bar that my best friend and his friends were going to. As we were leaving, work girl seemed too drunk to drive, i got in her passenger seat and told her this, she said she was fine in slurred speech and after a few minutes she yelled at me to get out of the car. Lol God damnit! Honestly I just wanted to talk to her about our weird relationship but I once again cannot bring it up. Alright, so I get to the next bar and I just want to dance with some girls and blow off some steam. As I walked in, the guy said I owe him a 5$ entry, I said I'd be right back I've just got to hit the ATM inside, he took my license and I walked in with no intention of going to the ATM lol. I love seeing what I can get away with.. I find this fun, like what can I charm my way into or out of... This didn't work out but I'll get to that later.. My buddy and I go up stairs to meet our other friends. They were all dancing. I came in hot with some crazy footwork. I asked this blonde girl to dance with me and she immediately started twerking on me. It was nice I guess but I don't think I was horny enough for that, no tingling in my genitals.. is that an issue or is that normal?... Not sure. After a little while, my buddy wanted to talk about something so we went downstairs so he could vent. The bouncer called me out as I was sitting on the patio talking to my buddy... He was not happy lol. I went inside and got the money for them, I came back in, gave them a 20 and said that they could keep the change as a tip because I felt bad. I wish I didn't do that... Like a dog with his tail between his legs... Fuck that. I'm mad that I put myself down like that, as if I don't deserve anything good. I am proud that I tried to get away with not paying though because it was bold and I'm trying to grow and not give a fuck what others think about me. Alright so I went back in and I asked this pretty light skin girl to dance with me, she flashed me her ringed up finger and sent me on my way. Damnit. I continue to walk around the venue, there was this large group of girls, I started walking up to them but I got too nervous to ask one of them to dance because I just got rejected.. I decided to continue to dance with my group of friends. Eventually, I build up some courage and go up to that same group of girls and ask the cutest girl that I can see with my tunnel vision to dance with me, it's like 1:30 at this point and my energy is low, not the best approach, I tap her on the shoulder and say "Hey, do you want to dance with me." she said "No." I jump up and down like a monkey as I turn away from her out of playful frustration. I remember hearing "Not yet at least." That was nice of her to say. I wish I could get more approaches in. I went back to the friend group for the last 20 minutes. I ended up dancing with one of the girls in the friend group. We were dancing for a hot second but I'm starting to lose steam honestly. Then, my best friend's girlfriend comes over and literally shakes her head at the other girl as if to say "No, don't dance with this guy." What the fuck even is that?! We are friends by the way me and best friends girlfriend, why is she doing that, maybe she just felt left out .. maybe girls get jealous... I don't know.. I called it out immediately, I said something like "she doesn't want us to dance together, why do you think that is?" I don't remember what the response was. That friend group girl that I danced with really needs to let loose. She is too tight, I want to help her open up more. Every thing is very rigid. Women want to be free flowing.. why is she not this way? When we left the venue and standing outside talking, I caught friend group girl staring at me.. she was attracted to me.. I turned and faced her, made eye contact with her and smiled. She cracks a slight smile and looks away... Ahhh I love it. As we left I asked if I could give her a hug. I gave her a really good hug.. I'm getting quite good at them and I think it's because I genuinely love these women, these people. You can feel it in the way that I wrap my arms around you and squeeze your body, there's love in it. Nice job on that. Alright, this is the home stretch, as were leaving, best friend was being a jerk to his girlfriend, playfully, nothing serious. I escorted the girlfriend to the car by giving her my arm to hold onto because that's what a gentleman should do. I wasn't trying to show him up I don't think, I just want to show him how he should behave, with a little more class. And I know women appreciate this. And that's it, I hung out with my other buddy until like 3:30 am playing video games and smoking weed. Quite an eventful night. This new life that I have constructed for myself is giving me ample opportunities to interact with women and figure them out.. I am proud of what I have constructed. I am learning from these beautiful creatures every day.. about them, about life, about myself. I still would like to get laid.. this is the next puzzle piece for me.. I have laid the foundation of an abundance of women in my life.. now it's time to practice and get really good at leading them to the bedroom.. I have a lot of work to do when it comes to leading. I know that I'm destined for greatness. I am special. ... And we trudge on.

Alright, in the past two weeks, I've gotten two phone numbers. The first girl, I danced and talked with all night, probably for 3 hours total, got her number, texted her a couple of days later and invited her to a mutual friends party, no response. Second girl, I walked up to a cute girl at a bar and talked to her for 10-15 minutes. I felt like I killed it, had her laughing. A couple of days later, I ask her out on a date, no response. I'm determine to trudge on so I guess it doesn't matter, but is this a common occurrence?

Exploring the Feminine Entry #10 This raw attraction that I felt in the last post (insight #4) occurred I think because I haven't been watching porn nearly as much as I used to (I haven't for a week, and on average its been once or twice a week over the past few months, prior to this, it was 3-4 times a week.) I wonder if the girl felt the same sexual tension as I did, it was so tasty. I want to continue down this path. I want to feel pure, raw sexual attraction towards women. My sex dreams have also been different since stopping porn, they have been more wholesome, consensual, and loving. No more porn. No more porn out of respect for the feminine. I want to allow you to turn me on.

Exploring the Feminine Entry #9 Insight #4: I danced with this woman that I think is attractive. We were doing the foxtrot promenade. I remember that I could feel a tingling sensation in my genitals. This is pure, raw, sexual attraction.. now I would never act upon this and pursue this woman, I am a dance instructor and she is a student.. I would never cross that line. However, the lessons to this is that it is okay to feel a sexual attraction to another woman, it is normal, and you are welcome to play around with it as long as you do not cross any lines that you and the woman have set for yourselves. This tingling in my genitals hasn't happened to me in a couple of months.. how could I have said that I liked someone without feeling this attraction. I think that this should be a necessary component before I pursue a woman. She has to turn me on.

@Migue Lonas I appreciate that man, I think there's a lot that I need to work on and Im sure you could help me out, just not sure where to start.. maybe I'll send you a message when I'm ready to talk about it.

@28 cm unbuffed lol dude everything you are expressing in this thread through your words and demeanor demonstrates a cry for help and we are trying to help you. People don't talk the way you're talking if they aren't desperate. I'm trying so hard to get through to you because I think you have way more potential with women than you realize. But I will stop now, you are capable of handling this on your own.

@28 cm unbuffed alright I just want to say one more thing because I just can't help myself. You are not frustrated and angry at women, you are frustrated and angry that you are unable to attract women and get laid .. I am the same .. I have never had sex.. I am also frustrated and ashamed of the situation that I am in. The difference between you and me is that I am trying to solve this problem head on.. you are running from it.. and you can run as long as you want.. but you will get tired.

Lmao nice dude! I never thought something like this could work. Props to you for going for it and succeeding, I'm sure you give her much joy and excitement as well.

@28 cm unbuffed Damn bro... I really thought I'd get through to you at least on some level... but alright then... I appreciate the honesty.

Dude she wasn't afraid of you hunting her down... She was nervous around you because she was attracted to you... in this sense men and women are the exact same.. we both get anxious when we like someone or feel attracted. Women can be very socially awkward around guys .. I find this cute and endearing about them ... You as the man in this situation have to take on the responsibility of making her feel comfortable and at ease with you.

Exploring the Feminine Entry #8 Alright so I was flooded with insights last night as I was "helping" my buddy change the starter on his car. We were out late and got a little high and my favorite thing to do in this situation is to pace back and forth and think. I started to think about my interactions with women... Insight #1: What I found out is that I am terrified when a woman's gaze is on me, especially a woman that I find attractive or am desperate for love from. This is a big problem, its stifling, I am unable to be myself because I am frozen by fear... fear of the woman perceiving me in a negative light and disapproving of me and my behavior. Where did this come from?... I dont know... Maybe my mom?... Maybe from high school... It doesnt matter, all that matters is what I do about it now... 100% responsibility. These truths are always so difficult to realize because I have to admit how far I am from where I want to be.. difficult but also inspiring. I want to get there, I want to reach the pearly gates.. And I'm willing to make the 500 mile walk... for you. Okay thats a great metaphor... very inspiring but what can I do on a practical level? I can join a toastmasters club.. where the gaze of several women will be on me... Also when I finally get a chance to teach group classes at the dance studio... women's eyes will be on me.. this is good practice as well. Insight #2: Also, I realized that I am unable to give genuine feedback to a woman... Not sure what to do about that, we'll come back to this later. Insight #3: Also, I realized that my only interaction with this woman at work about my feelings for her occurred when I was piss drunk and over text. A woman does not want to hear that a man has feelings for her in a situation where a. its not in person or b. the dudes drunk af... And this is exactly what I did. I know now that I have to address this situation with her sober.. completely sober... and in person. This is how I nip it in the butt and also act with integrity and honor... I owe her that much. To be able to look her in the eyes and say I like you for you... And I'm not going to apologize for that. I'm not actually going to say this to her.. but in the future this is what I will be able to say to a girl that I like.. with this girl, I am just going to talk about how I'm doing with all of this and that I'm sorry for the way I handled it.. And that I am really trying to get back to where we were... and that its just hard to joke around and have fun with you because when I'm around you, it just hurts.

I'd like to say one more thing because I really do relate and I want to help you. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm on this high horse, Im not... I am still recovering from resentment of women because of my many past rejections, how difficult they are to figure out, how I can't act authentically around them, etc.... I'm not better than you on this front... And I think we're all being a bit too harsh. The thing that I think we are all trying to get across to you is that you are not going to deal with this horniness problem and getting laid while simultaneously hating women... You can't skirt around this... Until you can learn to love women... You will not got laid... You have to deal with this reality.. I think you're too frustrated right now to make true changes to this so... Just channel your frustration and anger and resentment of women towards something that is constructive... Work on your physique, work on your enlightenment work, work on your relationships with your mom and dad and close friends, work on everything, absolutely body everything in life on a personal level.. this will make you feel good... eventually when you are ready.. hopefully you can open yourself up to women and see the beauty within. When you are ready, there are some really good outlets to get into in order to expose yourself to more women: Yoga class: This one is awesome, you will see how in touch women are with their health and bodies and you will start to respect them for that. You will learn to appreciate their bodies as a work of art.. and yoga makes your body and mind feel amazing Dance class: Great outlet, you will dance with girls left and right, you will learn how to lead, how to have a strong frame.. and most importantly, you will start to love making them smile.. Theres nothing better than doing a dance move with a woman and then looking down at her face and she's smiling from cheek to cheek... it warms your heart. This will also get you more in touch with your sexual and sensual side, not sure if you need work on this, but I know I certainly do. Toastmasters club: This is a new one that I am going to try. I just learned that I cannot act authentically when a woman's gaze is on me.. I am too concerned with how I am being perceived by her. Plenty of women go to toastmasters. If I can go up in front of several women and give a 5 minute speech, then I think thats a good start. Take a job in a restaurant or as a barista: Lots of women work in places like this. The objective is to expose yourself to them.. and you will learn that they are wonderful creatures. Good luck to you my man, I know this road is difficult.. more guys are struggling with this than you know... You are just brave enough to admit it and I commend you for that... just keep trudging along and you'll get to where you want to be

Exploring the Feminine Entry #7 Dear women, this is what I love about you: I love how women have this way of encouraging me to better myself, I want to be a better man for you I love a woman's smell I love those beautiful, flowing dresses I love your smile I love when I did something to make you smile I love when you're cheeks are rosy I love that you are so good at connecting with people I love how caring you are

Exploring the Feminine Entry #6 Dear women, this is what I love about you: I love how you want to surrender to the masculine presence, this is motivating me to be a better leader and deal with my issues I love how in tuned with the moment you are I love how in tune with your emotions you are I love how empathetic you are I love looking for your subtle af hints that you are attracted to me I love making you smile and laugh I love how you just want to have fun I love your soft lips I love your soft skin I love how much effort you put into your appearance I love your wide hips I love the way your body moves I love your giggle I love how challenging you are to figure out, like a rubiks cube I love how cute you are I love how playful you are, not taking things too seriously

Lol it's not bullshit at all, this really happened to me and I empathize with your frustration because I've been where you are. There's a lot of great advice in here, but I don't think you're looking for advice, you're just looking to complain and vent. Although venting feels good, it does not help to solve your problems. You will need to take full responsibility for your situation if you are going to make a significant change.. not blaming women.. not blaming society.. not blaming your parents.. not blaming us.. this is your life.. start taking ownership of it... best of luck to you.

@meta_male ayyyy, thank you my man

Okay, so I have come from the exact same place that you are at right now. I was sexually attracted to women but also hated them at the same time. It was such a mind fuck. What I learned is that I didn't hate the essence of women, I just hated the fact that I was unable to attract them and get laid. This made me very frustrated (it still does) and I took it out on them. What do I do with this information? I can wallow and continue to hate women or... I can do something about it.. I decided to do something about it. I deliberately took jobs in which I was in contact with women constantly (host at a restaurant & dance instructor) over the next few months, I absolutely fell in love with the feminine essence. I love how they can be so fiery and emotional, love how they are able to be empathetic and genuinely care about me in a way unlike men, I love how they are able to surrender to a masculine man's presence and allow him to lead ( this was learned through dance), I love how vibrant and lively they are in meetings (laughing and smiling very easily), they are able to pick up on emotional signals unlike that of a man (if I am sad about something, a girl will pick up on it immediately), I love how they try to seduce me by using these subtle signals that are so hard to pick up on but are meant to penetrate my mind, I love when a girl cracks a cute little smile despite trying to hide it, I love how women are sexy without even trying, I am in love with their presence, I just want to make them smile. I urge you to expose yourself more to these wonderful creatures, you will find out a lot about them and about yourself... And you may even fall in love. God has not created men and women to merely get together and reproduce, he has created us to fall in love with each other. Open yourself up to them.

It's so easy to say this when you're on the outside looking in