Spiritual Warrior

Hello, for anyone that cares, I am going to my second social dancing experience tonight. After last time, I got some great advice from all of you, and my main and only objective tonight is to have fun, have as much fun as a human can possibly have. I'll share my experience with you all later. Now I can't chicken out.

I'm hosting at a restaurant, planning on going out salsa dancing afterwards Halfway through the shift, I decide that I'm not feeling up to going out, so I text my buddy and tell him "I'm not feeling it, I'm sorry" 2 minutes later, My work friend at the host stand asks me what I would like my life to look like in a few years Wow.. I think to myself.. what timing I smile and then tell him that the main thing that I want is an abundance of women, I want to be able to have options, many options We both laugh about it I decide that this is a sign that I should go out tonight, this kid just reminded me of my greater vision I check my phone and I see that the message didn't actually send.. I don't redeliver it and instead say something like "Yo, we still going out tonight??" and I make sure this one delivers I love coincidences like this, it feels as if God is gently guiding me down the path that my character would like to go down You can't make this stuff up I get out of work early, shower and head to the dance studio to pick up my friend He is chipper and full of energy as he always is I am quiet but fully present while he talks We get to the salsa dancing place and I'm not nervous but my energy levels are not high As soon as you walk in, there is a dance floor, its not very crowded tonight My friend and I bounce up and down a bit and then he spots a couple of ladies in the corner We walk over to them and ask them to dance with us, with a smile they politely say no and that they don't know how to dance My buddy tells me to approach another woman across the dance floor thats standing alone I really need this push because I am not feeling very confident right now I approach the woman with a smile and ask her for a dance She happily agrees and we start dancing the salsa I initiate the basic salsa step Her frame and hands are soft and easy to move She is responsive and fully surrenders to my lead I lead her in a few moves but I realize that I don't have the masculine energy inside of me right now to lead an engaging dance I don't understand why this is, but I trudge on, leading her in underarm turns, cross body leads and side basics In order to lead a good dance, a man needs to have a masculine presence, in which he is confident and assertive in his moves and decision making I have none of this right now, and as a matter of fact, in the head space that I'm in right now, I'd much rather surrender and not have to make any decisions at all This is what makes a woman a good dancer, she needs to be able to surrender to the masculine's lead and be receptive to his signals We men can't be masculine all of the time.. and thats okay. The woman thanks me for the dance and walks away So that I don't lose my momentum, I immediately approach another woman She is much older than me and has a more dominating presence I attempt to lead her in a salsa, but she is doing her own thing She's moving her feet back and forth in a way that is a combination of a bachata and a merengue She is gripping my hands in a way that is suffocating, I can't move them I attempt to turn her but she doesn't listen, then she decides its time and turns herself She tells me that I am off beat but I don't even know what dance that we're doing and truthfully I don't think there's a name for it Despite all of this, I am still enjoying myself This lasts a few minutes and then she leaves I will never end a dance, I always wait for the girl to end it I do this because I've had a history of bailing on things once the going gets tough By doing this, I am steering away from the path of least resistance After this, I decide that I genuinely do not want to dance anymore tonight, I just don't have it in me I head to the bar so that I can sit down My new role is to sit here until my friend wants to leave, allow him to have his fun I sit there for a solid hour and drink two beers I have two brief conversations with a man and a woman within this time period and of course my buddy checks in on me periodically I am content Its almost midnight and my buddy finally comes over to me and sits down I spot a cute girl across the bar and I ask him if he wants to approach her and her friend with me I walk over there with a smile, my buddy right behind me The girl sneezes as soon as I get over there and I say bless you lol I ask her a few basic questions and she answers them in an uninteresting manner After just a couple of minutes, I don't want to talk anymore My buddy continues to talk to the other girl because he thinks he needs to keep her occupied, but I really just want to leave I just don't have the masculine energy in me right now to lead anyone in anything, dance, social conversation, whatever it may be And again, thats okay I still came out and I approached 3 girls to dance with me and I approached 1 girl in a conversational manner Until next time...

How would I trigger stage yellow when I am working at the restaurant? I would think about every body's well being I would do whatever it takes to make the customers happy and tip well My boss just said that I play a small role in the tips that come into the restaurant. This doesn't feel very good for me. This is demotivating me to do the best job that I can possibly do If she were to embody stage yellow, she would be motivating and inspiring me so that I would want to do a great job for her and the restaurant. Now I don't.

I agree

Everything doesn't need to be put into a complex and complicated model You can consciously trigger certain personality styles when going about life Trigger being a sanguine when you're at the club and trying to meet women Trigger being a coleric when you need to lead and make difficult decisions Trigger being a flagmatic when you want to devote yourself to a cause Trigger being a melancholy when you want to emphasize with another person

I am 8 years old and get diagnosed with a heart condition A leaky valve My parents are worried sick The doctors say that I will be fine but that I won't be able to play sports in high school This is a big deal in my family, lots of competing with one another I get heart surgery my sophomore year of high school The recovery process is painful and difficult I don't move for 2 days straight I play soccer my junior and senior year to finish off my career I'm 21 years old and I go in for a second surgery It'll be in the summer so that it doesn't take away time from college The surgeon removes the leaky valve and places in its place a cow's valve Now I'm 2% cow When I awake from surgery, I tell the nurse that I want to get up and move around The recovery goes much better because I learned from the pain of the first one Now out of college, I want to put some muscle on my frame The doctors tell me that lifting weights will put too much stress on my heart This scares me so I don't do it; I don't want to die

Unfortunately for the ego, the most valuable experiences that you will have in life will be the most painful ones A tough pill to swallow, but its true @Insightful27 Your ideas are great, you should do all of them

Some ideas for you: Yoga class Dance class Toast masters class Work a job that requires you to be social like a restaurant or a coffee shop Join a sports team Go out to bars and clubs And overall, just go out into the world more, nowadays with everything online, we as humans tend to fall into ruts where we aren't leaving our house. To answer your second question, yes I have a lot in common with the people that I hang out with, mainly bonding over sports, fantasy football, and just being goofballs. I went to grade school with all of my closest friends and we've all put in the time and effort to develop strong, meaningful bonds with each other.

I'm thinking out loud and you're listening Thats all were doing here

What about for men? I want to survive as well and am afraid of death I also want to see what I can fuck.. this makes me feel like a man

So true Guys do it too though In general, we both want to put out a large net and see how many fish we can catch

Luckily, I do not look like ET

Are they opposite states of consciousness or just different?

Nope The simple task of creating good pictures of myself requires self expression, or self love

Jerk off more often Treat life more cheerfully and friendly Make counter intuitive decisions

Why do women not like short guys? I've heard this statement many times in my life and it always hurts my soul because I'm short.

I am 5'5" without shoes on

@Princess Arabia Lots of words of wisdom on this thread and I appreciate everyone for it, but this is by far the most profound; it moved me emotionally. Thank you for taking the time to write.

I just opened up to this page in Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment by Jed McKenna and love the line in it. "All the worlds a stage, all the men and women merely players, and Captain Ahab is the final role; the role that sets us free. Whoever wishes to awaken from the dream state of duality into the reality of their being just step out of their current character and into the role of Ahab; must become Ahab. Ahab is monomaniacal-focused entirely on one thing to the exclusion of all else-and that's the way out of the dream. The only way."

This is a very underrated topic. Learning how to express yourself verbally with the right tonality is key to attracting people to listen to you, which will allow you to have a greater influence on others. A person could be saying the most profound thing on earth, but if they sound like a robot, no one is going to listen. Have fun with your voice.

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #52 - Sat Dec 3rd '23 - 1:30 PM I Was Mad at You Because You Bit me.. and it Hurt Oh.... Spirituality... How I have missed you. There is nothing more pure than the pursuit of enlightenment, of God, of truth. I am sorry that it's been so long, but I needed a break... I was mad at you because you bit me ... And it hurt. I touched upon something sacred and you beared your teeth at me and gave me a snip on the arm. I had thought spirituality was all rainbows and butterflies but it isn't. No, it can be very difficult and painful .. beautiful... gorgeous, always that but also painful. I didn't want to deal with the pain, with the truth, but now I am back, ready to give it another go. Lower self: Yes, I am back. Higher self: What do you want to get out of this? Lower self: I miss you. I miss spirituality. All of these social games chasing material desires are so shallow, there's no depth to it. It's boring. And it's just weird. It feels like I am being fake constantly. And not fully doing what I want. Higher self: What is truth? Lower self: Truth is the highest ideal. It is the best thing that you can pursue. It is the ultimate pursuit. Higher self: What about the pursuit of God? Surrendering to God, Surrendering to the universe? Lower self: Why is surrender important? Higher self: Because without it, all there is is control. Control of other people. Control of your own environment. No one cares that you're not doing well. It's all a mind game. A manipulation game. Why do you want others to care about you anyway? What are you gaining? Lower self: I'm gaining their acceptance and approval and love and sex in some circumstances. Higher self: Is this what you want out of life, to be accepted and approved of and loved and to have lots of sex? Lower self: In a sense, yes. I can see that my egoic structure needs these things. He needs to feel the love and acceptance, but I have higher visions. I want to make a positive influence on a large group of people. I want to give to others, to help them out, these are my higher ideals. Higher self: What are you doing to actualize your higher ideals? Lower self: I don't know. My selfish thoughts over the past week: Why do they like him and not me? What's wrong with me? Why can't I be loved more? Why can't I act differently?

Expect the ego backlash and endure it. Be aware that it's going to poke it's ugly head when you make real progress in an area in your life. Expect it and go through the emotional labor of being pulled back into what's comfortable. After the ego backlash is over, continue down the path, making more progress in the area that you're working on.

Trying to work on loving myself. Any book or video recommendations on that? Thanks.

I would like to share with you guys a trap that I fell into in my life; getting into spirituality too early. When I was 23 years old, I graduated college and had an existential crisis. I didn't know who I was outside of my college self and didn't know what to do with my life. I started to dabble in the self help field, watching lots of Leo's videos and reading some self help books. I also got a job at a Telecommunications company (which my mom basically handed to me I might add) and I started working long, stressful hours. The first couple of years flew by. When I was 25, I decided to quit and spend all of my money on traveling and self help books, I coasted by for a couple of years, living off of COVID unemployment money, money that I had saved up, and some odd jobs. This is when I started to get into spirituality. I read all of Jed Mckenna's books, The Book of Not Knowing, Conversations with God and I listened to every one of Leo's videos on Spiritual Enlightenment. I was blown away by the material and am still fascinated as to what this state of consciousness is and how I can get there. This seems like a nice trajectory that I've taken, but there are a couple of major problems with it. I know now that I was using spirituality as a distraction from the authentic desires that I held for creating a successful dating life and also finding my life purpose. These spiritual pursuits were not an authentic desire of mine, they were merely being used to avoid the emotional labor that it would take to tackle my dating needs and to find my life purpose. Sure, I now have a nice baseline understanding of what enlightenment is and what techniques can be used to get there, but now at 28 I am basically starting from ground zero in the dating world and I have found my life purpose, but am at ground zero in terms of building this life purpose into a successful career that can earn a sustainable income. As an adult, the evolution of a man's desires should go more or less like this: 1. Get success in the dating world 2. Find your life purpose and create success within it 3. Pursue spirituality / enlightenment Can you pursue all three at once? Yeah sure, probably.. just be careful that you are not half assing the pursuit of them. If you are going to pursue something, then fully lean into it. That is why it is more ideal to pursue one fully and then move onto the next. Unenlightened people can be described as living in the dream state, enlightened people have exited the dream state and couldn't go back in if they tried. Yes, I admit it, I am dreaming, but I am enjoying every delicious, juicy, painful, anxious moment within this dream... and until it is an authentic desire of mine to leave this dream state, I will not pursue it... and neither should you. I hope someone gets something out of this and best of luck to you all.

Jeez.. you are very rude. You should think about how you converse with people. I'm not going to interact with you anymore.