Spiritual Warrior

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #183 ~ Sat Aug 1 '26 I do this thing with women in which if I enjoy my time with her then I want to hold onto her, I want to grasp her. I don't want to let her go. This is a crush essentially. But I don't want to crush on the women at work anymore. I want a new girl that is outside of this business. Good job with your habits. I can see you growing right before my very eyes. I am so excited to see who and what you become in this life. I'm so proud of you. Daily goals: Shower: 12 Groom hair: 12 Brush teeth: 12 Floss: 12 Take medication: 12 Make bed: 5 Meditate: 0 No porn: 6 No ejaculation: 12 Eat 150 g of protein: 0 No electronics after 11pm: 2 Brush teeth before bed: 6 Wash face before bed: 6 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 1 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 1 Clean room: 1 Clean car: 1

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #182 ~ Thu Jul 30 '26 Camp is going really well this week. Remember when I said that I was really stressed out? Im doing fine now, I have hit a nice groove where I again don't need anything from anybody. Sometimes I do get frustrated with myself that I don't have a girlfriend, I'll feel like no one is interested in me romantically and it hurts, but other times I am just so non- needy from anything and anyone, I am able to just be myself and whatever comes of that I'm okay with. That's one of the main things that I've gotten from this job. My authentic self is finally coming out to play. I don't care about playing a certain character or role, I am going to be me. What a cool breakthrough. Daily goals: Shower: 10 Groom hair: 10 Brush teeth: 10 Floss: 10 Take medication: 10 Make bed: 3 Meditate: 1 No porn: 4 No ejaculation: 10 Eat 150 g of protein: 0 No electronics after 11pm: 0 Brush teeth before bed: 4 Wash face before bed: 4 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 1 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 1 Clean room: 1 Clean car: 1

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #181~ Wed Jul 29 '26 I keep falling into the trap of not working on my dating life and just hoping that I will somehow miraculously get out of the friend zone. What a fuckin joke. I'm done with these girls. Stop selling yourself short. You are the catch, anyone that doesn't want you is simply not the right person for you. Now go out there and do something about it. The longer I go without porn and ejaculation, the more in tuned I am with my desire for a girl in my life. Although I go through the frustration of feeling the sting of not having what I want in my life, this is a positive thing. Daily goals: Shower: 9 Groom hair: 9 Brush teeth: 9 Floss: 9 Take medication: 9 Make bed: 2 Meditate: 0 No porn: 3 No ejaculation: 9 Eat 150 g of protein: 8 No electronics after 11pm: 7 Brush teeth before bed: 3 Wash face before bed: 3 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 1 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 1 Clean room: 1 Clean car: 1

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #180~ Tue Jul 28 '26 I am so fuckin' stressed out this week. I have a sports camp to run and I have an overnight dance event this weekend and I also have to stay at my moms to take care of her fuckin' cat. This is bullshit. I am so fuckin stressed out and I don't know how to say no to people. As soon as this week is over, I am going to take a good hard look at my schedule and I'm going to start prioritizing what I want, which is mainly career, getting jacked, finances, and getting a girlfriend. I don't have time to help all of you people. And I don't have time to compete. And I HATE staying over someones house and housesitting, I absolutely hate it. I have to pack things up. I always forget stuff. And it stressed me the fuck out. God, please help me get through this week. Daily goals: Shower: 8 Groom hair: 8 Brush teeth: 8 Floss: 8 Make bed: 1 Meditate: 2 No porn: 2 No ejaculation: 8 Eat 150 g of protein: 7 No electronics after 11pm: 6 Brush teeth before bed: 2 Wash face before bed: 2 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 1 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 1 Clean room: 1 Clean car: 1

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #179~ Mon Jul 27'26 Daily goals: Shower: 7 Groom hair: 7 Brush teeth: 7 Floss: 7 Make bed: 0 Meditate: 1 No porn: 1 No ejaculation: 7 Eat 150 g of protein: 6 No electronics after 11pm: 5 Brush teeth before bed: 1 Wash face before bed: 1 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 1 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 1 Clean room: 1 Clean car: 1 Sometimes I question why I'm doing what I'm doing. And why am I always so stressed out and busy? Why can't I just relax and contemplate God and reality. But the truth is that there's nothing that Id rather do than dance to earn a living, I know that for a fact. So that's an easy decision.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #178 ~ Sum Jul 26 '26 Daily goals: Shower: 6 Groom hair: 6 Brush teeth: 6 Floss: 6 Make bed: 5 Meditate: 0 No porn: 0 No ejaculation: 6 Eat 150 g of protein: 5 No electronics after 11pm: 4 Brush teeth before bed: 0 Wash face before bed: 0 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 0 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 0 Clean room: 0 Clean car: 0

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #177 ~ Sat Jul 25 '26 I love having this journal. What a great way to hold myself accountable. My mixture of meditation and no porn / semen retention has triggered me into knowing that I do want to improve my dating / sex life. Despite working with women at your job, this is not going to happen organically. I know this because it hasn't worked like that so far in your life so why would anything change. This is a hard pill to swallow because I don't want to deal with the dating stuff. I am so fuckin' shy and I don't like making things sexually direct, but this must be the next thing that I have to deal with. I can't keep going on without addressing this aspect in my life. I also hate being rejected, but that is part of the process and I am going to have to curve my way into the storm. Good luck. Daily goals: Shower: 5 Groom hair: 5 Brush teeth: 5 Floss: 5 Make bed: 4 Meditate: 4 No porn: 5 No ejaculation: 5 Eat 150 g of protein: 4 No electronics after 11pm: 3 Brush teeth before bed: 0 Wash face before bed: 0 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 0 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 0

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #176 ~ Fri Jul 24 '26 Daily goals: Shower: 4 Groom hair: 4 Brush teeth: 4 Floss: 4 Make bed: 3 Meditate: 3 No porn: 4 No ejaculation: 4 Eat 150 g of protein: 3 No electronics after 11pm: 2 Brush teeth before bed: 1 Wash face before bed: 1 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 0 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 0

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #175 ~ Thu Jul 23 '26 It feels really good to knock these habits out. I'm still feeling a lot of conflicting emotions right now, going through a lot of emotional baggage. I feel as though I have no control over these things, events and circumstances just trigger me and the only thing I have control over is how I deal with it. At the end of the day I don't want to be mad at anyone. I want to be able to trigger a psycho mode while working out or a hyper focused mode while dancing, but I never want to be pissed at anyone, this is unresourceful and frankly not healthy for your body. The people in my life are fabrications in my mind. There are real entities, but they do not have an inherent Truth behind them. The truth is what you make it in terms of them. These people are floating balls of consciousness. Consciousness is all around you. I dont actually see this in my present experience but I can see that this is what the spiritual teachers are pointing me towards. With all of these anthropological books that I've read ( A Separate reality, The Theory of Everything, etc.) in which the person is having outer body experiences, Ive started to take a look at dreams in a different way. Am I entering a separate reality while sleeping or is this just a construct inside of my own mind? That's the other thing, how do I know if something is a mental construct or if it is a real tangible insight into the future? What is the difference in the feeling of it? The people in my life are awesome but they trigger me sometimes. I sometimes feel like I have no idea what I'm talking about in terms of dancing and that I have nothing to offer and that I suck at my job. That's how I felt yesterday. I was questioning everything that I was doing and felt like I sucked at everything. I haven't felt like that in a while but nonetheless, I did. Daily goals: Shower: 3 Groom hair: 3 Brush teeth: 3 Floss: 3 Make bed: 2 Meditate: 2 No porn: 3 No ejaculation: 3 Eat 150 g of protein: 2 No electronics after 11pm: 1 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 0 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 0

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #174 ~ Wed Jul 22 '26 Daily goals: Shower: 2 Groom hair: 2 Brush teeth: 2 Floss: 2 Make bed: 1 Meditate: 1 No porn: 2 No ejaculation: 2 Eat 150 g of protein: 1 No electronics after 11pm: 0 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 0 Meal prep 2x a week: 0 Do laundry: 0 I'm really happy that this journal is back. I want to hold myself accountable for a lot of things in life. Without it, I am just floating, wandering around without anyone keeping me in check. Sometimes I get really pissed that this girl left me for some other dance partner. This girl in particular makes me feel bipolar, sometimes shes my favorite person, sometimes I hate her and want nothing to do with her. I'm in the I want nothing to do with her phase at the moment. Its honestly not fair to her to have someone treat her with such inconsistency, but at the same time, I don't really give a fuck. I don't care how I affect people anymore. I mean I do, but at the same time, its more important to me to be authentic and genuine. I'm not going to bend over backwards for people, especially when they don't do the same for me. Last night, I worked out and I was in a psycho mode, so pissed off, I was working out like a beast. This is a great skill, I want to be able to trigger myself while at the gym, so much so that I'm in an animalist beast mode. This is possible to tap into on command. Take Luka Doncic for example, he palys basketball like a little kid at times, just having fun, but then he flips a switch and he turns into an absolute psycho. This is me. This feels good to me. This gets results. I want results. I want to be jacked. I want to be better than every fuckin' dancer in this building. I want to fuck. Everyone get the hell out of my way. I'll either take you with me or bury you alive. Life is weird. Or maybe more accurately, my mind is weird. Can it stop moving it's fuckin' lips please? Can it just relax for a second? Nah it just wants to masturbate all fuckin day. Does it know that I don't need him in order to survive? Once it realized this, it will fight me tooth and nail to keep its life.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #173 ~ Tue Jul 21 '26 I am going to bring back a habit journal so that I can track my habits. Whenever I look at something or hear or smell something, a perception immediately arises. This is wired into my brain in order for me to surive. The problem with this is I now live in a fantasy world, full of perceptions and pictures in my head. There is never a time when I am actually BEING or at the very least experiencing the thing for what it actually is. My next challenge is to find a way to experience something without any preconceived notions about it. 7/20/26: Shower: 1 Groom hair: 1 Brush teeth: 1 Floss: 1 Make bed: 0 Meditate: 0 No porn: 1 No ejaculation: 1 Eat 150 g of protein: 0 7/21-7/27: Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 I am going to track this shit like clockwork. I've entered my masculine era. Just watch and see what I become. I am going to do a new solo to this song with my dance coach. This depicts the relationship that I have with my dance coach. She's been working with me for about a year now on a weekly basis. We had talked about working together the other day but we didn't have a song in mind. I picked this song because I get so overwhelmed by this job sometimes, and whenever I feel overwhelmed, I am able to come to her for help on anything. I cannot describe how grateful I am for her in my life.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #172 ~ Fri Jul 17 '26 A lot has changed since my last post on here. I have hit a groove where I am really happy at work and in my personal relations. I just love everybody and I feel like I don't need anything from anyone, that is key. I can't describe how good things are right now actually. I've started to really take hold of my life and I am ready to continue to create something remarkable with it. A very cool thing has been happening to me, I have been attracting lengthy interactions with people more and more, people really enjoy being around me. I believe it's because I am acting genuine and authentic and completely non- needy. I don't need anything from you, I'm good on my own, this creates a dynamic with everyone that I talk to that is genuine and caring but at the same time independent from outcome. I get to see my favorite person tomorrow, which I am excited about. I'm not going to pursue sex anymore, I don't need it. I am going to hang out with the people that Id like to hang out with and sex will come. I will continue to omit porn from my diet and see where that takes me. I have developed myself enough that women will fall into my lap, and if they don't, that's okay too, my life is so full as it is, sometimes I feel like I cant handle anything more, like my cup is so full as it is, if anything else is added it will overflow. This is because you are now providing genuine value to others, which deeply excites me. I want more though of course, I want to be jacked and shredded, I want to look really good and hot out there on the dance floor, I want to be organized and clear headed, etc... The three main things that I'm working on right now are 1. Getting jacked 2. Having a clean and clear environment and mind and 3. Becoming a successful dancer and dance instructor

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #92 ~ Fri July 3 '26 ~ 8:19 PM My own experience of how things are is stained with bullshit.. and I mean actual shit. There is shit stained on every inch of my brain. And by shit, I mean falisty. What is false is carved into my skin. I want to peel back my skin, layer by layer, until Truth is revealed. This is the heart of a true Spriritual Warrior. Higher Self: Don't get this confused, this is not me being egoic, I am simply laying down the foundation for you to climb. And if climbing is what you intend to do, buckle in because this ride is nothing to mistake for an amusement ride. This is a direct path, if you so want it. But.... I can't explain it to you because unfortunately, the Truth is beyond labels. And if all labels are false, then the Truth must lie beneath or above or just somewhere other than the domain where labels are true. Can you pretend, just for a second, that you do not know what this thing is that you are experiencing. You hear things, you see things, you taste, you write, you imagine.. What is all of this? And don't come back at me with more labels, we've already established that there are none. What we are looking for is Truth, which is the opposite of whats false. If you want to wake up, I mean truly wake up, you will have to let go of all of your labels and beliefs. Lower self: But what about all of the models that science has prescribed to us? They are so useful, are they not? Higher Self: They are only useful if you do not care about waking up. Wake up first, dream later. Lower self: Sounds a bit paradoxical, don't you think? Higher Self: Of course, but a paradox is mere nothingness to the beholder. The beholder and paradox have nothing in common but also everything in common. You will understand this once you take on the beast. Lower self: What beast? Higher Self: The Beast inside of you. He wants to come out, but you are caging him up because you are afraid. Afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of Death. I bring up death because when you die, you will discover Truth, you have no choice in the matter. Death is merging into the Absolute realm that has been right here all along, right under your nose. But you're too egoic to see that, too attached, too selfish. When you discover what's True in this lifetime, your attachments, your self image, your way of being will all die. And guess what, you've already taken that first step, so you are already dead. You are driving down a steep hill at 100 mph. And at the bottom, a pool of water that will bathe and cleanse you and give you wings so that you can fly up into the clouds and merge with the Absolute. Now don't you dare take my words literally, these words are mere metaphors. Remember, all labels are false, which makes all communication false. What I am saying to you right now is stained with bullshit, but what I am saying is pointing you towards something, it is meant to unlock the next door for you, (or unlock the next gear if you like the driving the car at breakneck speed analogy.)

Daily goals list: Wake up at 8 am daily: 0 Meditate daily: 5 Brush teeth and wash face every night: 0 No porn: 0 No ejaculating: 5

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #171 ~ Thu Jul 2 '26 I am finding something rather ugly about myself right now. I am struggling to build lessons at the moment, I had 15 last week and only 9 this week. I just got back from heart surgery so I should be giving myself some grace and zooming out, this is just a phase, I have no momentum right now. But anyways, the thing thats ugly is I'll get pissed when I see my co workers doing well now, because I'm not doing well so seeing them succeed makes me feel inferior, makes me feel crappy and I think things like "what's so good about them, why are they getting all this success?" Ugly, really ugly thoughts. These are my friends. I care about them. But when I am in a mode where I feel shitty about myself, it's like I want everyone else to feel shitty with me. What a selfish fuck I am. I am really. What is wrong with me? The thing is though is that there absolutely nothing wrong with me. Being honest about how you are feeling and the thoughts running through your head, that is the start. I am being honest with you here. I am describing the ugliness of my thoughts. This is just where my ego is, he isn't able to zoom out when he's feeling down and realize that this is just one day, this is just one mood, things will in fact get better. He doesn't seem to be able to have that capacity to zoom out. Anyways, Ive done a good job of meditating every day, taking my meds and supplements daily, waking up for the most part at 8 am and washing my face and brushing my teeth at night. I am doing well right now. I have a masculine energy that is being directed towards work and working out. I'm pissed right now about a lot of things, that is what's fueling me. And again, there's nothing wrong with that, in the past, I would suppress this anger by saying, "I'm better than this, I shouldn't be mad at these people, I shouldnt want revenge." But revenge is a GREAT motivator. And its not like I'm not a loving person, I am. I am far too conscious through this work to have a net negative impact on the people around me. I'm far too aware of what I'm doing and thinking. But I want to prove all the doubters wrong, I am in the expert phase of my ego development, becoming uniquely good in this field and I am using strong emotions to fuel me, indicative of the LOC 300s, modeled by Ramaji. I have MUCH farther to go, I want to reach LOC 1000 one day, but this is a slow burn. My ego must embody and then transcend each stage. Daily goals list: Wake up at 8 am daily: 0 Meditate daily: 4 Brush teeth and wash face every night: 4 No porn: 0 No ejaculating: 4 "Progress doesn't shout, it whispers" You might think that my motivation is crude right now, trying to be better than other people, seeking revenge, proving people wrong, but at least I'm working towards something. I don't think I've ever felt this alive actually. I want to tackle and conquer. I want to stick my dick inside of this metaphorical world and fuck it's brains out. I am giving my ego what it wants. It wants to be seen. It wants to cry out, it wants to grind, it wants to be unique. Let's curve into this egos uniqueness. Go down the path and don't stop until it's salivating at the mouth from all of the food that it can eat.