Spiritual Warrior

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #258 ~ Fri Oct 30 '26 Daily goals: Make bed: 86 Take medication: 103 Shower: 103 Groom hair: 103 Brush teeth: 103 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 3 Ejaculation free: 3 Brush teeth before bed: 4 Wash face before bed: 4 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 6 Do laundry: 12 Clean room: 12 Clean car: 12

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #258 ~ Thu Oct 29 '26 What are the projects that I am working on right now? What is going on in my life? For starters, I have a woman in my life now. She is wonderful and I enjoy spending time with her. I have a lot of friends and I try my best to show them love consistently throughout their lives. I have a job at the dance studio that I love Daily goals: Make bed: 85 Take medication: 102 Shower: 102 Groom hair: 102 Brush teeth: 102 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 2 Ejaculation free: 2 Brush teeth before bed: 3 Wash face before bed: 3 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 6 Do laundry: 12 Clean room: 12 Clean car: 12

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #258 ~ Tue Oct 27 '26 Really though, what has happened to my motivation and discipline. Its completely shot. Im not impressed with myself right now. My physique is shit and my discipline is shit. Is it really that hard to have a workout routine that you stick to or to not use porn before you go to bed? Or to actually get your ass out of bed when the alarm goes off. I am hinestly deeply dissappinted in myself. I thought i was better than that. But you know what, this is what this journal is about. I must persevere. I will find the motivation and the discipline to achieve all of my goals and habits. * This morning, i had my alarm set for 8 am. I did wake up at that time, but I then layed in bed for another 30 minutes. I then went up stairs to shower and brush my teeth and I even gave myself a haircut. Im starting to lose my hair and I have to do things differently now. I can't wait until the day that I can take a couple of months off from work just because. How much money should I have prior to doing that? 50k? I then started cooking. The chicken that I am cooking is a week past when its supposed to be used so im not sure if I should really be eating it. I probably shouldn't. I also watched porn last night before bed, its just so unfortunate that I can't seem to have the self discipline to stop these habits. Then again, you are going at your own pace, you will figure all this stuff out, it just takes time. * Ive started using a physical trainer. With this new expense, in order for me not to be in the negatives, i will need to find a way to make an extra ~$1000 every month for at least 6 months until I can at least stop the physical training expense, which is $400 a month. My base salary is about $2000. I have an event that will get me an extra $200 in November and I am also housesittijg which will get me another $200. Now i need another $600 to make ends meet. Did I jump the gun on hiring a physical trainer? I could spend less this month as well? I will ask my parents if they need help with anything. I think my dad will need some help with his leaves. It never hurts to ask! And I will see if my mom needs anything, they probably do. Then, planning ahead towards December, I will be getting an extra $500 for a dance event so thats just another 500 more that I will need past that, again ask your parents. There is also a couple of outside studio parties. If I build my lessons up for that first week of December, I should be able to get a little extra cash plus helping my parents. And maybe someone will have me housesit for them. I can also sell the smart phones that I have. Daily goals: Make bed: 83 Take medication: 100 Shower: 100 Groom hair: 100 Brush teeth: 100 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 0 Ejaculation free: 0 Brush teeth before bed: 1 Wash face before bed: 1 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 6 Do laundry: 12 Clean room: 12 Clean car: 12 Things to do: Figure out phone situation - go to the mall and get phone reactivated - do this on Saturday Sell the phones that you do have To do when I get home: Cut music for Mary Ann, Amanda and Tyler, Wednesday: 8 am wake up and shower 8:30 kriya yoga 9:00 eat breakfast 9:30 leave for work 10:00 dance training 12:00 dance training 2:00 work 10:00 get out of work

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #257 ~ Mon Oct 26 '26 I can feel myself wanting to just chill out. This seems like a never ending battle. I always want to just chill but I always seem to have way too much going on. Is this a trap in which I am forever going to be disappointed and never have the time that I want to just "chill out?" Have things gotten better in this area? Okay, so I REALLY want a strategy to get my workout routine going. Its still not there yet and the thing is that I don't know where to start. I have dance practice again tomorrow morning and after that I am going to take a long break from any additional dance practices. I am continuing to push back on anything additional as I am trying to find more time for me to read books and to contemplate life and to work out. I want a nice simple life in which I make money providing value towards others. I am already sick of working so much. Is this me being lazy? No, I don't think so. I crave time to relax and to read books. One issue that I continue to do to myself though is the fact that every time I do have relaxation time, I watch things on my phone instead. I wish I wouldn't do that. What am I doing tomorrow? Do laundry Start passport process Cook food for myself 8 am put laundry in / Shower 8:30 kriya yoga 9:00 eat breakfast and coffee 9:30 cook chicken and rice 10:30 leave for practice 11 am practice 12:30 film fantasy football 3 pm work out 4 work 10 get out of work Daily goals: Make bed: 82 Take medication: 99 Shower: 99 Groom hair: 99 Brush teeth: 99 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 5 Ejaculation free: 5 Brush teeth before bed: 0 Wash face before bed: 0 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 (XOO) Give yourself a haircut: 5 Do laundry: 11 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 11 What are some things that I'd like to do: 1. Create a plan to reach my physique goals 2. Accept the fact that cardiac rehab overcharged me and just go with it 3. Get a handle on my schedule and attempt to develop some discipline around that 4. Cut out all unnecessary and unhealthy behaviors (drinking, surfing the web)

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #256 ~ Sun Oct 25 '26 Daily goals: Make bed: 81 Take medication: 98 Shower: 98 Groom hair: 98 Brush teeth: 98 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 4 Ejaculation free: 4 Brush teeth before bed: 4 Wash face before bed: 4 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 (XOO) Give yourself a haircut: 5 Do laundry: 11 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 11 things to do: Call passport place - open on Monday? Call insurance - open on Monday? Figure out Halloween costume

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #255 ~ Sat Oct 24 '26 I am grateful for my job. I am grateful for all of my friends and family. I am grateful for my girlfriend. I am grateful for my ex girlfriend. I am grateful for sex. I am grateful for all of the help that I've gotten along my path. I am grateful for all of the books that have helped me and will continue to help me. I am grateful for all of my awesome students that show me that I can make a difference. I am grateful for a roof over my head. I am grateful for the ability to create whatever I want in this life. I am grateful for all of the circumstances that have lead me here. I am grateful for good food. I am grateful for the fact that I have learned that discovering Truth is possible. I am grateful for the ability to just do nothing on some days. I love my life and I look forward to whatever else I create for myself. I would really like to start reading more and watching things less. Things to do: Call passport place - Contacted them again through a portal - you might want to call the government funded passport place directly Call therapy place Call insurance company - only open Monday thru Friday - call on Monday Daily goals: Make bed: 80 Take medication: 97 Shower: 97 Groom hair: 97 Brush teeth: 97 Floss: 2 Kriya yoga: 1 Porn free: 3 Ejaculation free: 3 Brush teeth before bed: 3 Wash face before bed: 3 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 (XOO) Give yourself a haircut: 5 Do laundry: 11 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 11

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #255 ~ Fri Oct 23 '26 Daily goals: Make bed: 79 Take medication: 96 Shower: 96 Groom hair: 96 Brush teeth: 96 Floss: 1 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 2 Ejaculation free: 2 Brush teeth before bed: 2 Wash face before bed: 2 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 (XOO) Give yourself a haircut: 5 Do laundry: 11 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 11

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #254 ~ Thu Oct 22 '26 I am grateful that I am able to go to Vienna at the end of the year. I am grateful that there are restaurants and gas stations everywhere that can help us feed ourselves and ours cars. I am grateful for cars, for transportation, this way I can visit my friends and go to work. I am grateful for healthy food. I am grateful that I've found a job that I love. I am grateful that I can create whatever I want on this planet. Its 10:11 AM and I have to leave here by 11:30 AM . All I want to do is lounge around. I don't feel like practicing, I don't feel like getting ready, I just want to be lazy. When I feel like this, what should I do? It's 5:22 pm. I have a lesson very soon and I want to work on danielas choreography. I have a new strategy for how to build muscle. I have a girl now in my life. I love her. I am going to wake up at 8:30 am tomorrow. I REALLY want to get into my spiritual practice and also develop a good workout routine. I don't care as much for building lessons. Your goals don't have to be my goals. Find out what YOU want out of life, not the other way around. I want to find a way to regulate everything so that I am in control and grounded and I am solid and am someone that everybody can count on. Daily goals: Make bed: 78 Take medication: 95 Shower: 95 Groom hair: 95 Brush teeth: 95 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 1 Ejaculation free: 1 Brush teeth before bed: 1 Wash face before bed: 1 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 (XOO) Give yourself a haircut: 5 Do laundry: 11 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 11

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #253 ~ Wed Oct 21 '26 I would like to free write right now. I want to create a structure for my life, a system. I want to start writing down yearly and more importantly quarterly goals. I like the idea of meditating with a solid gaze, not blinking and not shifting the gaze in any way shape or form. I love the book "A Million Thoughts," there are so many incredible advice on how to meditate deeper in there. I enjoy teaching a lot of lessons at the studio. I want to average 22 for the upcoming quarter. Whenever I have a bad day or am in a shitty emotional state, I stop doing everything that I intend to be doing. It is very frustrating, and then I don't do what I want to do and then I become even more frustrated. I have come a long way in a lot of areas, I am more willing to stick up for myself and have boundaries, I am more masculine, I am a much better dancer, one of the best in the studio. I am making an income doing something that I love. I have a great relationship with everyone within the studio. I have gained muscle and have at times looked like a muscular, shredded man. My social skills have greatly increased. I have dated two high quality women in the past 3 years. One of them I am currently dating and I am doing a great job of that. I have been competing for the past 2 years with a dance partner. I won a solo event competition ( a competition amongst teachers.) I get much more attention from women. I have read a handful of books over the past year. I am grateful for all of these experiences. In a lot of ways, I feel like I don't set myself up for success in areas in my life. For example, am I setting myself up for success when it comes to cutting porn out of my diet? What about waking up at a consistent time? I am ALWAYS snoozing my alarm. Why don't you put the alarm clock across the room so that you have to get your ass out of bed and turn it off? Okay, I like that. I will do that when I get home. What are some of your goals? Teach 22 lessons a week until the end of the year Finish your mock test by the end of the year Express emotion in the formation that you are doing for Holiday Ball Don' watch porn until 1/1/27 Do kriya yoga and stretch every day for the next 30 days Things to do: Figure out passport Return shirts Daily goals: Make bed: 77 Take medication: 94 Shower: 94 Groom hair: 94 Brush teeth: 94 Floss: 1 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 0 Ejaculation free: 0 Brush teeth before bed: Wash face before bed: 0 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 (XOO) Give yourself a haircut: 5 Do laundry: 11 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 11 When I get home tonight, set up alarm clock and im going to pack up my computer and bring it in here. In the mornings, I want to do my routine like clock work and not use my phone at all. There are certain limitations I'd like to put on my phone. 10 minutes on the sleeper app? Sure, let's try it.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #252 ~ Tue Oct 20 '26 Daily goals: Make bed: 76 Take medication: 93 Shower: 93 Groom hair: 93 Brush teeth: 93 Floss: 1 Kriya yoga: 1 Porn free: 1 Ejaculation free: 1 Brush teeth before bed: 4 Wash face before bed: 4 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 (XOO) Give yourself a haircut: 5 Do laundry: 11 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 11

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #251 ~ Mon Oct 19 '26 I get so sick of myself just laying in my bed like a slurch, scrolling through on the Internet. OVer the past few years, this has gotten much better but there is still more to be desired. The frustrating thing is that my higher self wants to read books, wants to meditate, wants to have a clear head, but this lower consciousness mind likes to take over and run the show and it makes me do things that my Higher Self doesn't really want to do. I can see that they are pointless and by the way, not even that fun but for some reason I lose control and can't help myself. This is something to work on moving forward. Take a look at your wanting mind and don't give into the cravings, just observe what is going on. Things to do: Set up medication Take medication Shower / Groom Stretch / Kriya yoga Pack lunch / dinner Put clothes away Return shirts Daily goals: Make bed: 75 Take medication: 92 Shower: 92 Groom hair: 92 Brush teeth: 92 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 0 Ejaculation free: 0 Brush teeth before bed: 3 Wash face before bed: 3 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 0 Give yourself a haircut: 4 Do laundry: 11 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 10

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #250 ~ Sun Oct 18 '26 Things to do on Sunday: Stretch - do this at 11 am Yoga - do this at 11 am Read part of a book Leave by 12:00 to visit friend Shower Daily goals: Make bed: 74 Take medication: 91 Shower: 91 Groom hair: 91 Brush teeth: 91 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 1 Porn free: 4 Ejaculation free: 4 Brush teeth before bed: 2 Wash face before bed: 2 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 1 Give yourself a haircut: 4 Do laundry: 10 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 10

A Profound Problem with Consciousness Work: Realizing your own Selfishness What you will notice on your path towards Enlightenment or consciousness work in general is how selfish you truly are. This is a byproduct of the path. Before, you were not aware of the selfishness, you were blind to it, like an armadillo during the day time. I would like to give you an example: I am a ballroom dancer and we have these dance events in which we get paid for every "entry" that we dance with our students. One of my co workers had 7 more entries than me. This pissed me off, I thought to my self "how could she have more than me? I mean really, how?" I noticed this emotional trigger and kept digging, I wondered to myself, if my amount of entries stayed the same, but hers decreased significantly, would it make me feel better? And I am ashamed to admit that the the answer is yes, if she were less successful, I would feel better about myself and this is a person that on paper, I care about deeply. I mean what a fuckin' dick I am. I would rather this person be less successful so that I can simply feel better about my own success. I think that I'm this "highly developed person" yet I stoop to this level. I'm not ready to be a leader, not with this attitude. These are the growing pains and it is incredibly humbling. It puts into perspective how much farther there is to go to become a more tier two type of individual that is ready to truly lead others. "Sometimes its easy to forget that we spend most of our time stumbling around in the dark. Suddenly a light gets turned on and there is a fair share of blame to go around." - from the movie Spotlight Namaste.

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #249 ~ Sat Oct 17 '26 I continue to notice how my own selfishness completely shatters my happiness. I compare my success with others. God forbid someone else's numbers are better than mine, one of my close friends nonetheless. I mean jesus christ, it baffles me sometimes to see how selfish I truly am, how I don't want success for other people. You think that you're high and mighty and you're not, you're just not. I have noticed the appeal to have a child in my life nowadays. This was triggered last night as I was watching the movie Chef. I find the 10 year old boy absolutely adorable and all he wants to do is spend time with his dad, so cute! Maybe I will have children with this girl that I'm talking to. This girl tends to trigger me, sometimes I don't want to be around her, its as if I feel like I don't love her. I started a conversation with her the other day and told her that sometimes I don't feel like she likes me at all. Maybe this is actually how I feel about her, not the other way around. Interesting... Continue to become aware of your triggers. Of your own selfishness. I have this one student and she is just got to be the most awkward person I have ever met. It makes dancing with her very unenjoyable as well because she's so stiff and tense. I don't know how to deal with her and it makes me not like her. I mean SO AWKWARD, so fuckin' awkward. Its like shes not even there. Her authentic is buried underneath a bunch of shit. And I have no idea how to dig out the shit. Not a clue at all. Is it normal to not want to be around the girl that you're dating sometimes? Its important to remember that the grass isn't always greener. I do feel honored that I am the man that she has chosen to spend her time with. Its just sometimes I am just so fuckin' selfish. All I do is think about myself and how other people are serving me, how I AM being viewed, this is ridiculous and I can see firsthand that it doesn't make me happy. And lets take some time to take a look as well at the lack of discipline in my life, I mean just take a look at the list below, sure there are some good numbers, but a whole lot of zeroes. I just want to not waste time doing shit that is not only pointless but is actually detrimental towards my health. I want to be hyper aware, HYPER AWARE. I want to be so aware of everything going on in my environment and in my mind and in my emotional states, that is going to elevate me so much and it starts with simply meditating. Just sitting there and BEING. That is the key. Now in order to unlock this you will have to train the disciplinary muscle and do the work so that you can reap the benefits. Its almost as if I only like this girl when shes serving me, when she is providing me with something and guess what, thats not true love. I have SOOOOO fuckin' far to go. Am I really going to be ready to have kids in just a handful of years? Having kids doesn't have to be this end all be all, you are still going to continue to grow, its not like you're digging your own grave. Speaking of graves, I am starting to almost look forward to my day of death, or more poetically, to my day of ultimate surrender. I will finally be able to let go and surrender fully to the pure experience of what God is. Ultimate that day comes however, I am going to suck as much juice out of life as I possibly can. Daily goals: Make bed: 73 Take medication: 90 Shower: 90 Groom hair: 90 Brush teeth: 90 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 0 Porn free: 3 Ejaculation free: 3 Brush teeth before bed: 1 Wash face before bed: 1 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 1 Give yourself a haircut: 4 Do laundry: 10 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 10

Habits & Disciplines Journey Entry #248 ~ Fri Oct 16 '26 Mark my words Mr. Rezendez, if it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to abuse one ~ from the movie Spotlight i have Started to come into my own authentic masculinity. I understand now what it takes to be masculine and why it is important for the woman. Through this understanding and embodying of the masculine, i have attracted a woman into my life. I didn't use pick up lines on her, I never lied to her, I never deliberately ran game on her, I was completely myself. This right here is INCREDIBLY fulfilling. Now I look forward to continuing to provide a safe place for this girl to allow her heart to open up more and more. She has been hurt in the past and that breaks my heart. i have started to value peacefulness in my life. The quietness of mind is so valuable to me and i will continue to build habits that attract that quiettitude into my life. I don't want a life that's filled with constant stimulation. I want peace. At just 31 years of age, all I want is peace. Daily goals: Make bed: 72 Take medication: 89 Shower: 89 Groom hair: 89 Brush teeth: 89 Floss: 0 Kriya yoga: 1 Porn free: 2 Ejaculation free: 2 Brush teeth before bed: 0 Wash face before bed: 0 Weekly goals: Workout 3x: 1 Give yourself a haircut: 4 Do laundry: 10 Clean room: 11 Clean car: 10