Spiritual Warrior

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #48 On an emotional level, this has been a very interesting couple of weeks. I went to a dance competition and had a blast with my dance partner, had a blast with her again the following weekend, intuited that I would end up hurting her one day and cried, went out on a coffee date with another girl, started making friends with the guys at my gym, and did a photo shoot at work in an elf costume. And probably most importantly, I've discovered that I am currently stuck in a sad and pessimistic mindset, which is not optimal for the life that I am trying to create for myself. This is all good stuff, very eventful, but I am not sure where to go from here. I have stopped making my routines a priority as I am hitting a reset button in order to reassess. Is this just me being lazy or do I really need this break... I don't know... But I really don't know what to do. My rooms a mess, that is the first issue. I'm still in debt. I'm not living a life with an abundance of sex. I have feelings for a girl and its making my head spin as I want to pursue her but at the same time I don't. I am confused. What is it that you want in this life? Lets just focus on that. I want to be a successful dance instructor. Okay, and what does that mean to you? I want to win dance competitions at a high level. I want to be able to walk into any studio in the world and provide value to every single instructor and student there. I want to make 6 figures through just dancing. I want to make a YouTube channel in which I hit on women in cities and post about it. I want to inspire men to do this in a respectful yet flirtatious way that actually works. I want to be able to approach women and tell them that they are beautiful. I want to express my authentic attraction towards them. I want to be able to have sex with women for 30 straight minutes, circulating the delicious sexual energy throughout my body while she climaxes again and again and again. I want to be clear headed and loving in all situations. I want to have a shredded and muscular physique, one that is truly sexy, one that inspires others to work on their bodies. I want to be able to express myself authentically, not worrying about what others think about me in every situation that I go into. I want to have a cute house with a big backyard and a porch and a pool and an outdoor bar and a basement with a pool table and darts. I want to have a highly- conscious relationship that is grounded in Truth and Love and helps each other grow to our full potential. I want all of my friends and family to know that I love and care about them very much. I want to reach LOC 1,000 and help other people reach higher levels of consciousness. I want to write books about enlightenment and Truth. I want to open up a meditation center. I want to go on a 10 day meditation retreat. I want to meet and be taught by someone that is truly enlightened. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is taken from the description from a YouTube video, it is a beautiful description of what hopefulness and optimism looks like: There is a place beyond the mountains where the rivers turn to gold beneath the morning light , Eldoria, the city that never truly sleeps, but quietly breathes with the dawn. They say the air itself hums with memory there, and the wind carries the scent of roads long traveled. A lone wanderer walks toward it now, guided not by maps, but by faith — the soft kind that grows in silence. His path is rough, yet every step gleams with the promise of something waiting just beyond the horizon. This piece was born from that feeling the ache of distance and the calm that follows when you finally stop running. It is music for those who travel in spirit as much as in body, who see the world not as it is, but as it could be. Let it draw you toward quiet fields, crumbling bridges, and a sky that forgives all things. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is my routine listed below going to create the things in life that I have listed above? I would say yes, you've also got to understand that following this routine is more than just building habits, I am building self esteem. Doing this shit over and over and over and over again without wavering is building me into a strong and competent human being and man. Into a man that is able to summon the courage to talk to anybody that he wants to, to summon the courage to tackle life's greatest challenges, to tackle his insecurities, to master and regulate his emotions, to inspire others, to be a loving person, to teach all day and all night. The one thing that I would like to add and that I'm excited to add to this routine is I want to go to the gym first thing in the morning. What would that look like? 12.18.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0 Brush teeth streak: 50 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 21 Meditation streak: 0 Push ups / pull ups streak: 0 Funniness affirmations streak: 12 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 21 No ejaculation streak: 21 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 48 No smoking weed streak: 4 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back:

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #47 I love journaling! I really do love it. Now, I had a rough day yesterday, it was filled with lack of motivation and pessimism and self doubt. Nowadays, these kinds of modes of thinking are pretty rare, which is positive. In response to this, I did something a little different this morning. Instead of trying to grind through what I was going through and force myself to wake up and get some shit done, I decided to give myself love instead. I allowed myself to sleep in and I tried my damnedest to love every ounce of myself this morning, despite all of my "shortcomings." This is a powerful process and its not that easy to do either. We always want ourselves to change and we think that we need to brute force our way into creating change, but the real change lies in loving ourselves and opening ourselves up to the many desires that we have, opening the door to true and lasting happiness and wellbeing. This is where I am heading as I continue to unlock the door to the Field of Love. Its funny, my dad called me this morning telling me that I should be setting up appointments with heart surgeons. He was saying that hes worried about me because I'm lifting weights and I could have a stroke. As soon as he said this, I felt annoyed. But this is just how his brain opperates, he worries about the people that he loves. But his mind is not very nice to him, coming up with these tragic stories inside of his head. For me, I am in touch with my body. I am not going to have a stroke, I am healthy because I feel healthy. Yes, I understand that I need to have another heart surgery and I appreciate the doctors letting me know that, but... I am not going to worry myself about it, I have learned enough in this lifetime to understand that the Universe has its own plan, theres no need to mentally masturbate about things. Now, with all of. this self love stuff going on inside of me, I do want to get some tangible things done right now right here before I head to dance practice at 12 o'clock. This means that I have 1 hour before I have to leave. I definitely need to shower and I also want to meditate, which means that my push ups and pull ups will have to come after work tonight. Also, what am I doing this weekend? I would honestly love to go to a coffee shop and try to summon the courage to hit on a girl or two. I am going christmas shopping with my friends at 3 o'clock on Saturday and I would also like to go to the yoga studio and take a class and also ask them if I can do their work study program. I am going to head there in the morning, but I am going to find out when my co worker will be there because she is the one that will help me get into the work study program, so either Saturday or Sunday depending on when shes working there, I just have to ask her today. Then on Sunday, I am baking Christmas cookies at my cousins house and my sister will be there! I love her. 12.17.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0 Brush teeth streak: 49 Floss streak: 11 Shower streak: 20 Meditation streak: 0 Push ups / pull ups streak: 0 Funniness affirmations streak: 11 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 2 Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 20 No ejaculation streak: 20 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 47 No smoking weed streak: 3 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back:

Interlude: Releasing sadness ~ 12.17.25 The song and music video perfectly depicts what I'm going through right now with the realization that I am creating my own reality of sadness and dissapointment. As you can see, I am drawing the sad balloon myself, I am creating my own reality.. I then attach the sadness to my "being" and start moving through the world.. The sadness that I am feeling is then reflected in the outside "world." But then, I get a glimpse of Infinite Love.. But I'm scared of Infinite Love because it means that I have to give up this pessimistic mindset that I have grown so fond and attached too... so I push the world away and lock myself in the comfy castle that I've constructed The solution is to summon the courage to cut ties with the sadness and make room for Infinite Love.... And I will get there, it is part of my destiny in this lifetime... What an absolutely perfect depiction of what I am going through right now. I'd like to thank the artist "Larry Pink the Human" ~ I wish you happiness and wellbeing for now and for eternity

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #46 12.16.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 6 Brush teeth streak: 48 Floss streak: 10 Shower streak: 19 Meditation streak: 12 Push ups / pull ups streak: 10 Funniness affirmations streak: 10 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 1 Brush teeth streak: 13 Wash face streak: 13 No electronics before bed streak: 0 (oops) "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 19 No ejaculation streak: 19 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 4 No alcohol streak: 46 No smoking weed streak: 2 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back:

Interlude ~ Realization: I think I'm a sad boy Holy shit, is my vibrational energy that of a sad boy that attracts negativity into his life? Looking back at all of the posts from these past two weeks, almost every one is relating to being sad about something, a yearning, missing something, lacking something... Holy shit am I creating that reality for myself? I got this idea from the book "Ask and It is Given" in which they talk about how you are creating your own reality with your vibrational energy. And I am ALWAYS sad about something. There is always something wrong and I think that I really like this headspace... For example, I love songs like this: I walk this Earth all by myself I'm doing drugs but they don't help My voice says nothing when I'm screaming out for help I stretch my hand, but my grip just gives out I used to love crying in my girlfriends' arms, it felt so liberating and I felt so loved. Now heres the question, do I want to let this persona go? Or do I want to hold onto it? This is a genuine question and I should answer it honestly... No, I don't think I want to let go of it to be honest with you. Could you let it go though? Could you let go of being sad? Also, what felt so good about crying in the arms of someone that loves you? I think that I was able to fully express myself with her. I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel okay about crying. I wanted to let go of the emotion instead of bottling it in. Thats what these cries did for me. And I think that I was lacking this from my own parents, I never felt comfortable expressing my emotions with them. I want to get to a point in which I express my emotions while dancing a solo in front of people, that will be a real testament to my growth as a human being. or this song... Okay, this beat is fire though... Cause I see a vain look in your eyes Tell me, do you see the same, same look in mine? ... You're gonna leave her You have deceived her She's just a girl Now what the fuck am I going to do about this? I won't be able to actualize all of the massive goals that I have for my life if I continue to identify with being a sad boy that is never happy and that cries a lot and that feels bad for himself... Well... Lets take this back to the Sedona Method... could you let this go? Yes of course I could let it go. I mean it is possible. Would you let it go? Yes, I would let it go so that I can open myself up to a happier mindset and a more joyful and peaceful emotional state. How am I going to hit on these girls anyways if I am a sad sack all of the time? When? When are you going to let this go? I am going to let it go right now. I am going to choose to be happy, to be content, to be joyful, to be courageous, to be fearless. Huh.... that was easy...

Interlude: If I fly too far, will I still have a place inside your heart ~ 12.16.25 This song makes me think about my ex girlfriend. She was quite literally the sweetest creature I have ever met, so loving, so nurturing, not a mean bone in her body. Do I miss her sometimes? Yes absolutely.. The issue here is that I am so stuck in this human mindset mentality, creating a story for myself as if it was a soap opera. I know deep down that this is not the best way to live, at least according to the enlightened ones of this world.. but I can't help but be pulled in by the drama of it all.. I mean what a beautiful story it would be if I dated half the girls in the city and then came back to my first real crush and married her?.. will it actually happen.. who the fuck knows... So if I fly too far Would i still have a place inside your heart? When you see what I've become Will you love me for who I am not who I was?

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #45 12.15.25 Oh man... I had one of the worst days in a while yesterday... I just felt like I was bad at everything. I felt like I sucked at dancing. I felt like I sucked at teaching. I felt like I sucked as a human being. Everything. And I could not get out of this funk. That is why I was writing about the Sedona Method yesterday because I was trying my damnedest to get out of the funk that I was in. I would like to find a better way to shift my emotional state when in funks like this, I've never been very good at that. Its as if as soon as I'm feeling down, my M.O. is to just wallow in it and feel bad for myself. I HAVE to work on this if I am going to live a happy life. I've actually had several of these kinds of days over the past couple of weeks, not totally sure whats going on with me... Luckily, I have a very strong support system at work. One of my co workers is really nice to me when I am feeling low, she asks me whats wrong and gives me hugs. My boss is also really nice and encouraging towards me. I wish I didn't need this kind of attention though, I want to be the man that can handle his emotion state on his own, but I truly am grateful for their support. I've also come a long way, a year or two ago, I would have A LOT of days like this, they were not uncommon, nowadays, they are pretty rare. The funny thing was that the day actually started off quite nicely, I did my morning routine, went to the gym to do my push ups and pull ups, chatted with a few of the guys in the locker room and sauna (I'm trying to do this more), and then I went to dance practice with my dance partner. Now she was VERY out of it. She has highs and lows like crazy. She was super insecure. At first it didn't effect me at all, I was in a good mood, joking around despite her insecure emotional state. But then something shifted in me when we moved onto the rhythm dances. I stopped smiling, I stopped joking around, you know what it was... I literally did one move wrong, I can't remember if she said anything about it or not... but yeah thats what happened, I was doing great, then I did ONE FUCKING MOVE WRONG and I shut down. I stopped talking, I felt very hungry, all I wanted to do was leave. Thats insane bro... you allowed one incorrect dance move to shift your entire emotional state for the rest of the day... I mean what the fuck dude... I thought you were better than that... I guess not... but thats okay. The cool thing about this journal is I am able to shine awareness on situations like this, I wouldn't have figured that out if I didn't journal about it. After the dance practice, I felt the shift in my emotional state and I went to the bookstore to journal about The Sedona Method. I really want to start applying this, I just don't really understand it, it seems so simple but it really hasn't worked for me yet, like how do I just let the feeling just be. Its as if I am just so used to repressing my feelings in order to avoid the pain of them. I am going to contemplate this more. When I got back to the studio, I was in an emotional state that I would call "I don't give a fuck about anything." Then I looked at my lesson count, which is a meesly 7 lessons for the week, that is the lowest my lessons have been since February! That is fuckin' terrible! And boom, emotional state just took another hit. Now I'm in an emotional state of "Everything is pointless, why even bother trying." Then we had dance practice and I felt like I was so fuckin' bad at the moves. I look over at the other lead dancer and of course he is breezing through the fuckin' routine. Boom, my ego takes yet another hit, now the emotional state is "Everything is pointless, and by the way you fuckin' suck!" After this, my emotional state is absolutely fucked and everyone knows it. I am completely in my head and I have no motivation to do anything. Again, the support system at the studio is VERY supportive and everything was fine. I made it through till the end of the day, but I failed to improve my emotional state. I am going to work on this. Love you. Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 5 Brush teeth streak: 47 Floss streak: 9 Shower streak: 18 Meditation streak: 11 Push ups / pull ups streak: 9 Funniness affirmations streak: 9 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Brush teeth streak: 12 Wash face streak: 12 No electronics before bed streak: 6 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 18 No ejaculation streak: 18 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 3 No alcohol streak: 45 No smoking weed streak: 1 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: Chest: Back:

Interlude: The Sedona Method What is the Sedona Method? The Sedona Method is an emotional mastery technique in which the person identifies the emotion and then releases it. It doesn't matter if the emotion is positive or negative, it is always beneficial to release. Now... How can I apply this technique while I am in the crossfires of some of these nasty emotions, such as frustration or anger or sadness? Here is a video to help: Notes: The first step to letting go is choosing to let it go Then ask yourself the question, "Could you let it go?" The next questions is "Would you let it go?" or "Would I rather hold on to this feeling or would I rather be free of it?" The last question is "When?" which is an invitation to decide to do it now Right here, right now you can be free of whatever it is that you are holding on to Try your best to be in touch with your Heart instead of your head When you answer these questions, it doesn't matter what your answer is, yes or no are both acceptable answers Think of an issue in your life or about the planet that you would like to change And in this moment, could you simply welcome how you feel, could you just let it be Now, as best you can, could you let it go? Yes or no... Would you let it go? Yes or no... When? And then repeat the process again with either the same issue or a different one. "Could you let it go? Would you? When?" People have released lifelong fears from their psyches through this work Remember, feelings are just feelings, they are not facts and they are not you, and you can let them go

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #44 I dont know what I want anymore ~ 12.14.25 I don't know what I want anymore. Everything seems fuckin' pointless. I mean its not but at the same time it is. But remember, I have come a very long way, even over just this past month. My physique is solid, I competed in a dance competition, I am attracting women into my life, I'm talking to strangers more often, and my mood and happiness have noticeably improved. The main thing that I think is making my head spin right now is my intimate relationship situation.... This seems to always be the case... I am ruled by women... oh boy... I hope I transcend this one day. Here is the issue... Right now, I am talking to two different women. The first woman is a girl that came up to me in the gym, we went out on a nice coffee date a couple of days ago, which lasted an hour. It went really well, she is so sweet and I want to take her out salsa dancing. The second woman is my competitive dance partner. We hungout the following night, we went out to a salsa club and danced all night with other people. Afterwards, we hung out for three more hours, running around the parking lot and sitting in her car, rough housing and snuggling. I haven't kissed either of them yet but something is definitely brewing. Am I being a coward for not kissing her.... I don't like to think like that... just be nice to yourself... And I like for intimacy to feel organic and a kiss in the moment didn't feel organic...The cool thing with this girl is that I am able to be completely myself around her and I enjoy her company so damn much. We laughed with each other for 3 straight hours. I think about her a lot and I think that we can continue to have a really great competitive dancing and intimate connection with each other. The problem here is that I had a massive goal of hitting on women in cities and recording it with Meta Glasses and posting it on YouTube in order to inspire and teach young men how to hit on girls in a fun, flirty, confident, and respectful way. Now, I must remember that this goal is going to take a while to truly manifest. I have to first summon the courage to hit on these women, then I have to actually get good at hitting on them, then I have to start recording the encounters and then post it on YouTube, and then market the videos so that a lot of young men get to see it. I know that if I do this right, people will watch. There is a massive need for highly conscious pick up artists. I don't want to let go of this dream, but.... at the same time, I want a strong intimate connection with this girl very badly. I want her to feel loved by a truly masculine man. Do I just go for it, or should I stop hanging out with her so that I can make this hitting on women thing take off... This is the thing though, I have A LOT of goals that I am working on: I want financial abundance, I want to have whole body orgasms while having sex, I want to win dance competitions, I want to inspire people with my physique, my work ethic, and my dance ability. In a lot of ways, my connection and relationship with her can help with all of these things 1. she would be helping me acquire more career capital in the dance business because we are practicing a lot together 2. If we get physically intimate, I can practice circulating my sexual energy while having sex with her and having full body orgasms ( this would be great actually because I really haven't had that much sex in my life up to this point and I have always had the most sex when I am with one person and I want practice) 3. A physical intimate connection will heighten our chemistry on the dance floor which will win us dance competitions 4. Having a relationship with her would push me to continue to work on my physique in order to turn her on, to develop a solid work ethic for her, and it will push me to be the best dancer I can be, 5. It would be incredibly fun, we have an absolute blast together, she is hilarious and I am able to be my authentically goofy self while around her, this will heighten my overall mood and well being which will trickle into my career work, personal work, and relationships with social group and family. 6 She also loves making videos, I would like to start making some videos with her and posting them on YouTube so that I can get practice in video editing and being on camera, 7. Above all else, I want her to love herself, she is insecure with her body, the way she looks, and she struggles with self-love. I am going guide her down this path as I have gone down it and made it out the other end. I can truly, confidently say that I do love myself and it has taken me a very long time to get here. I will help her on her self love journey. And there you have it, all signs are pointing towards pursuing this woman in an intimate relationship right now.... but I can't put all of my chips in one basket, especially since we haven't had sex yet... so I feel as though I actually have to pursue the other girl that I am not into as much because I know that it will make me "non-needy" with both of them. I am non- needy with the coffee date girl because I don't care if it doesn't work out. I am "non-needy" with the dancing girl because I am already pursuing someone else. This might seem wrong to do to somebody, and maybe it is... But I know how to play the game and get what I want.. sue me.... I will do my best to not hurt either girl. I want to make them both feel loved and cared for for as long we are together. I will do my best to treat you both with love and respect as I play this game of chess with you both. I am sorry in advance if I hurt you. Lets address a few more things in terms of this situation before I log off: Firstly, I am truly happy with my decision and thinking process going on here, I am getting what I want which is this awesome girl and I am actually not sacrificing any of my goals either. Again, she is going to help me in a lot of ways achieve what I want, and I get to provide value to her by being an awesomely masculine and loving presence in her life. Now, yes I am putting off the cold approaching, but heres the thing, I am not ready for it. I mean, I don't have money and I am struggling to summon up the courage to even try... sure I could keep grinding for the next year in terms of courage and keep going to the city over and over again, but it would take too long right now and again I have other goals, which could be further supported by just having a girlfriend. With that being said, I am GOING TO come back to this hitting on women YouTube channel one day... because well... I just absolutely have to... which means that I unfortunately have to eventually let this dancing girl go... And this breaks my heart, it does... Which is why I was so torn up about it a few days ago (see the Interlude from 12.11.25) But thats the thing... relationships end and thats just the way it goes... nothing is permanent... I am therefore going to remove the cold approach counter from the bottom of the tracker. I have enough things to work on here anyways, progress in life occurs with baby steps, it has to be that way, otherwise we would freak out because there is too much change. The last thing to address is that I want to become highly conscious so that I can have the biggest impact that I possibly can on the human race. That is what makes me tick, impact, I want impact, I want to make a profound impact on LOTS of people. This is what grounds me and makes me non-needy. My deepest goals are way above one girl way way wayyyyyy above. That is what you want. I want to reach LOC 1,000 and I will... I want to understand the Truth of reality, I want to understand what it takes to get there... I want to understand what death is... I want to understand and feel the "no-thought" state, I want to abide in the "Field of Love." And then I will help my students reach the states of consciousness that I have reached... Maybe this will manifest itself into me writing a bunch of books.... or starting a meditation center... or both... we will see... I have many years left in this life to make all of my dreams and desires come true. 12.14.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 4 Brush teeth streak: 46 Floss streak: 8 Shower streak: 17 Meditation streak: 10 Push ups / pull ups streak: 8 Funniness affirmations streak: 8 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 8 Brush teeth streak: 11 Wash face streak: 11 No electronics before bed streak: 5 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 17 No ejaculation streak: 17 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 2 No alcohol streak: 44 No smoking weed streak: 0 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 1 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: done Back: done

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #43 12.13.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 3 Brush teeth streak: 45 Floss streak: 7 Shower streak: 16 Meditation streak: 9 Push ups / pull ups streak: 7 Funniness affirmations streak: 7 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 7 Brush teeth streak: 10 Wash face streak: 10 No electronics before bed streak: 4 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 16 No ejaculation streak: 16 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 43 No smoking weed streak: 9 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #42 One thing that I have been noticing as a sign of growth within myself is that I genuinely try to be a loving person in all situations. Of course, I am not perfect, I do get triggered, especially when I feel like someone is treating me unfairly. But in general I try my damnedest to love the person across from me, no matter who it is. 12.12.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 2 Brush teeth streak: 44 Floss streak: 6 Shower streak: 15 Meditation streak: 8 Push ups / pull ups streak: 6 Funniness affirmations streak: 6 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 6 Brush teeth streak: 9 Wash face streak: 9 No electronics before bed streak: 3 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 15 No ejaculation streak: 15 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 (130g - just missed it) No alcohol streak: 42 No smoking weed streak: 8 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #41 Being a human is a very intimate thing. We develop connections and attachments with each other. These connections come and go. They are always there in an Absolute sense as we are all One, but as a finite being, things die, relationships die, connections die. And we have to experience this loss. This is a hard pill to swallow. I don't want to lose these things. It makes me so sad. Part of me wants to not be attached to anything so that I don't feel the hurt of losing it. But I know thats no way to live. In that way, I would be living out of fear and not out of love. Here are some examples of songs that so beautifully illustrate this Truth of life as a human being: And I thank God every day for the girl he sent my way But I know the things he gives me he can take away And I hold you every night and thats a feeling I want to get used to But theres no man as terrified as the man who stand to lose you Oh, I hope I don't lose you Please stay, I want you, I need you, oh, God Don't take these beautiful things that I've got The artist here has an intuitive sense that things do pass, nothing is permanent and he is pleading with God to allow for things to stay the same. He is "terrified" of losing what he has. But the reality is that everything passes, nothing is permanent. Consciousness is always changing, it is never constant. Here is another example: They say you don't look, they say you don't look Cause it'll drive you mad, and if it drives you mad Drives you mad, it'll proably pass And if it drives you made, and if it drives you mad It'll probably pass Same thing, the artist understands that if something in life drives you crazy with love, then it will pass, one way or another. This doesn't just mean that the relationship will definitely end because relationships can last an entire lifetime, but the current relationship, how the two act around each other and what they do with each other, the dynamic of the relationship, that will end... because things are forever changing, they are never constant. Another Truth about reality is when one thing ends, another thing begins, just like the seasons. Every year, we have spring, winter, summer, fall. Now, if you could control all the seasons, would you keep one season constant throughout the year or would you allow it to die so that another can be born? Here is a song that illustrates this: If you can control all the seasons Would you recycle them list re-runs Or leave 'em freedom? What are your reasons? Spring, winter, summer, fall It would be very beneficial for me to go through Leo's video on Understanding Impermanence so that I can get a better grasp on what I am dealing with here. Again, my goal in this life is to surrender myself to Truth. And wherever that takes me is where I am headed. 12.11.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 1 Brush teeth streak: 43 Floss streak: 5 Shower streak: 14 Meditation streak: 7 Push ups / pull ups streak: 5 Funniness affirmations streak: 5 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 5 Brush teeth streak: 8 Wash face streak: 8 No electronics before bed streak: 2 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 14 No ejaculation streak: 14 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 41 No smoking weed streak: 7 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/14 Legs: done Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Interlude: Profound Experience: Intuiting the Future I have been going through something rather profound recently. I have come to the realization that I am going to become intimate with my dance partner. However, I know that it will not last forever. It has to end. But at the same time, it has to begin. I just know it. This isn't mental masturbation, I am tapping into something outside of myself. This is a very profound experience. I felt the exact same way about my ex girlfriend. About 5 months into it maybe even 3 months into it, I knew that it was going to end. I KNEW that I would outgrow her. And then eventually, it happened. I intuited this. These are not thoughts. This is a gut feeling. I had a dance practice with her this morning and I was feeling some sort of negative emotions but I couldn't pinpoint what it was, it felt like a feeling of lack, a yearning, a desire that was not being met. I couldn't focus while being taught. At first, I thought that I was just anxious that I was bad at dancing and not able to do the patterns that were being asked of me. Afterwards, she took me to get a bagel to make me feel better. I left to go to work at my studio in a funky mindset but still not sure why, again I thought I was just down because of how the coaching went. When I get to my studio, we do some dance training and have a meeting and I don't feel any better. I tell my boss that I had a rough morning and ask her if I can head to the gym so that I can clear my mind. She agrees and I drive away from the studio. I play a couple of songs that speak to me in the moment, “Feel it in the Air” and “Fall for You.” It then dawns on me why I am in such a funk. I come to the realization that I am going to become romantic with my dance partner but I know for a fact that it is going to have to end. It will not last forever. I'm not just thinking this, I am intuiting it. I know this without a doubt in my mind. There is no way out of it. This absolutely breaks my heart because I AM GOING TO hurt her. Remember, this is not mental masturbation, this is intuition, this is Truth, which is hard to explain without experiencing it. I drove around crying for about 10 minutes. The cool thing about this is that I am not crying out of self pity anymore. I am crying for others. This is a massive paradigm shift that should not be overlooked.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #40 I seem to have gotten back on the right track in terms of the habits. I have also had some successes in terms of women. I have a date set up for tomorrow with that girl that came up to me at the gym. There also seems to be a budding romance with my dance partner; two nights ago, we stayed at her studio until 2 am, rough housing with each other and making Tik Tok vidoes. I actually really like her. The problem with this is that I had a big goal of hitting on 1,000 women and having sex with 50. If I have a romantic relationship with her, this would have to be put on hold as I DO NOT want to do that to her. Sometimes goals come and go. One thing that I would like to do with her is start a YouTube channel in which we vlog about life as a ballroom dancer. 12.10.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 0 Brush teeth streak: 42 Floss streak: 4 Shower streak: 13 Meditation streak: 6 Push ups / pull ups streak: 4 Funniness affirmations streak: 4 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 4 Brush teeth streak: 7 Wash face streak: 7 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 13 No ejaculation streak: 13 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 40 No smoking weed streak: 6 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/24 Legs: Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #39 12.9.25 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30 am streak: 4 Brush teeth streak: 41 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 12 Meditation streak: 5 Push ups / pull ups streak: 3 Funniness affirmations streak: 3 Night time routine goals: Sexual abundance affirmation: 3 Brush teeth streak: 6 Wash face streak: 6 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 12 No ejaculation streak: 12 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 39 No smoking weed streak: 5 Weekly Goals: Weight lift 3 days a week streak: 0 For week of 12/8-12/24 Legs: Chest: Back: done Number of women "cold approached" so far: 0