Spiritual Warrior

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #97 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 5 Make bed: 5 Journal: 98 Brush teeth streak: 100 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 71 Meditation streak: 5 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 5 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 5 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 5 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 5 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 5 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 5 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 99 No smoking weed streak: 54

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #96 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 4 Make bed: 4 Journal: 97 Brush teeth streak: 99 Floss streak: 4 Shower streak: 70 Meditation streak: 4 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 4 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 4 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 4 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 4 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 4 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 5 Wash face streak: 5 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 4 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 4 No alcohol streak: 98 No smoking weed streak: 53

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #95 Things are going to change for me, drastically. I say this because I am attracting an optimistic and / or hopeful mindset into my life. I am starting to curve into everything that I am afraid of. I am no longer afraid to embarrass myself or to mess things up. I drive into whats uncomfortable. I take a delight in it. I want to know the Truth in every situation, even if it hurts, especially if it hurts actually. The idea is not to avoid hard times, it is to be able to take on hard times with an inner strength. This is the best route to take because I have VERY big goals. I want to own a dance studio, I want to have a house, I want to be a world champion dancer, I want to fuck LOTS of women, I want a God-like physique... This is the vision I have for my life. If I am going to actualize all of these things into my life, I have to become emotionally sound and disciplined and mature so that I can handle the trials and tribulations that come with manifesting this into my life. Lets take emotional mastery as an example. The root solution to dealing with emotions is to experience them fully instead of avoiding them. This is very obvious to me now, so take every action possible to you to do things that are emotionally challenging, especially when dealing with people. You know what else I have noticed? When certain people are around, I act differently. I can see and feel it, I don't act authentically anymore, it is unfortunate, it gets me out of the flow. But thats okay... this is just the reality of the situation that you are currently in. Okay, so I am sitting at a coffee shop. There are a few things that I would like to work on and I also really want to go to the gym because I only did the first set of my routine. What does your work schedule look like today? I am going to leave at 3 o'clock today to finish my workout. I could also use some more food because I couldn't drink a protein shake this morning because I didn't bring home my protein container. I could also use a meditation session but idk when or where to do this at. Okay, so I am going to leave here in 5 minutes to finish my workout. Then I am going to grab a protein shake at Cubmerland Farms so that I can substitute my protein shake that I missed this morning. Then. I will come back to work. I ahve to start teaching at 5:30 and I am going straight through until 9:15. I have the two group classes (6:15 and 7:00) and then P*******, J********, and I am forgetting who else. This means that I have to summarize one of my students critique sheets. I will do this first thing. I want to have a better understanding of my student body and what I need to do throughout the week in order to set myself up for success. I want to grow here rapidly. Truly. I don't know whats gotten into me lately but I am very focused and ambitious, its great, its awesome. And it stems from having a very large vision for my life. I am able to look at things going on around me with dispassion and detachment so that I can accomplish my goals independent of the opinions of others and how it will affect others. This is Thick Face, Black Heart. So when I start my day I am going to type up the summary so that I can present it to here on her lesson. I am going to teach all day and I would like to develop a better system of "things to do" while I am working. There are so many things that I am working on and I feel like I dont have a good handle on it. Tomorrow, I have a coaching at 11 am, which means I have to get out the door at 10:30 am. I also don't have food made for myself tonight, which is not ideal. Should I do this tomorrow morning or tonight? To not wake up my mom I probably should do it tomorrow, but that means that I have to eat something else tonight when I get home because I have nothing prepared, which I am okay with, my mom made some meatloaf and something else I think, why dont I just eat that so that I don't wake her up. I feel like there are other things I need to do but I m not sure what yet. I also need a new smooth ballroom shirt. I want to figure that out soon... and a vest too! After work, I am going to that swing dance place and then I am heading home... wait a minute, I have to work out tomorrow as well. When am I going to do that? IDK I will figure that out later. And then on Saturday, I am going to be heading to NYC to hit on women! I am very excited to jump into this deep cold pool. Okay... I have to go work out. Thursday: 7:30 shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 Cook meals for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 10:30 Leave for gym 11:00 Work out 12:00 Dance practice 2:00 Dance practice 4-10pm Work 10pm Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 3 Make bed: 3 Journal: 96 Brush teeth streak: 98 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 69 Meditation streak: 3 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 3 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 3 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 3 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 3 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 3 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 4 Wash face streak: 4 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 3 No alcohol streak: 97 No smoking weed streak: 52

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #94 Wednesday: 7:00 Shower and groom 7:30 Meditate 8:00 Journal and eat breakfast 8:30 Pack everything 9:00 head to dance training 10a-12p - dance training ($20) 12-10pm Work 10 Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 circulate sexual energy Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 2 Make bed: 2 Journal: 95 Brush teeth streak: 97 Floss streak: 2 Shower streak: 68 Meditation streak: 2 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 2 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 2 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 2 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 2 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 2 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 3 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 2 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 2 No alcohol streak: 96 No smoking weed streak: 51

Interlude: Personal Journal Things to do after work: - nail down those moves: foxtrot explosion, tango abanico, and tango vienesse cross and memorize the routine - finish workout -Get gas - shovel driveway so that there is room for both cars -bring home water bottle Things to do (at some point): -get headlight fixed -sit down and figure out finances -figure out charger set up Insight: Honestly, spending those 45 minutes scrolling on Instagram absolutely fucked me. It pushed everything back this is why having discipline over your habits is so important because you have such a large vision now. I want to do REALLY WELL at this competition in New Orleans l. REALLY WELL. I am going to work my ass off to learn these steps and have proper form.

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #93 A couple of things I'd like to run by you. Firstly, nice job with the workout yesterday. I made a list of everything that I want to do this week and it has done wonders. I have everything that I want to do this week planned out to a tee. I am excited to see where this goes. The road to become an attractive man is a treacherous, tumultuous path. Things don't get easier, but your ability to handle life's challenges greatly increases. I met a girl while I was on break at work yesterday. She couldn't find the coffee shop so I walked her over there, we chatted a bit. At the end of the conversation, I wish I told her that she was cute and asked her for her number.. too bad.. I will have many more opportunities though. You have to realize that every approach that you make is going to make these girls days, its not just about you. Tuesday: 7:30 Shower and Groom 8:00 consultation call 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Meditate 9:30 unsure 10:30 head to dance 11:00 Dance practice 12:30 Head to gym 1:00 Work out 2:00 Dance practice 4-10 pm: Work 10 Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Practice circulating sexual energy Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 1 Make bed: 1 Journal: 94 Brush teeth streak: 96 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 67 Meditation streak: 1 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 1 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 1 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 1 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 1 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 1 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 1 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1 No alcohol streak: 95 No smoking weed streak: 50

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #92 Okay so I have created a meal plan as well as a schedule for the ENTIRE week. I am very excited to implement this. I am also going to go out to the city this upcoming weekend to hit on girls. This is my main priority. I HAVE to change myself into a man that gets laid often. This is non-negotiable. It is 7 am right now and I have to leave here by 7 am. I still have to finish my breakfast, shower and groom and also cook my food for the week. Hopefully I get everything done. Monday: 7:00: Shower and groom 7:30 Meditation 8:00 Journal and eat breakfast (protein shake) 8:30 Pack everything up 9:00 Head to the gym 9:30 Work out 10:30 am dance practice 1-10pm: work 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 0 Make bed: 0 Journal: 93 Brush teeth streak: 95 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 66 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No ejaculation streak: 0 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 94 No smoking weed streak: 49

Interlude: Weight training regimen Workout 1: Push (Monday) Barbell Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Incline Bench Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Dumbbell Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Triceps Pushdown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 2: Pull (Tuesday) Barbell Deadlift 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps One-Arm Dumbbell Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Alternating DB Curl 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 3: Upper (Thursday) Seated Dumbbell Press 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Seated Cable Row 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Close-Grip Bench Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Rear Lateral Raise 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps Workout 4: Legs (Friday) Barbell Squat 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Leg Curl 3 sets x 4 to 6 reps Leg Press 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps DB Lunge 3 sets x 6 to 8 reps

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #91 Several streaks have gone by the way side. I really want to become more organized in my life. The funny thing is that my weeks usually go really well because I just love my job so much. However, my weekends are kind of shit because I don't hang out with my friends that often, I don't usually wake up at the right time and start my day, everything is a mess on the weekend. What happened Friday night into Saturday? So I had a good day at work, I was productive and confident. Then, I went to a place to dance, I had never been there. I had fun dancing but I did not have much energy. This job takes a toll on the body sometimes. After I got out, I grabbed a pint of ice cream and a bag of chips, with full knowledge that I wanted to go to NYC and hit on women the following day, but I wanted to indulge and I couldn't control myself. I get home and I watched something on my computer as I down the ice cream and then passed out. I didn't was my face or brush my teeth.. The next morning, I wake up and I work hard on the Thick Face Black Heart summary, here it is: I continued to work on chapter 2 throughout the middle of the day, so I am being productive. Throughout the day, I probably took 2-3 naps, and I also masturbated without ejaculation. I think I sabotaged my plans of going to NYC because I was scared. There is no reason why I couldn't have done it. So I sabotaged that and the sabotage continued through the rest of the weekend. I have been a lazy sack the whole weekend. I tend to not hold myself to any standard on the weekends, I completely let go. Now, I don't want you to beat yourself up too much. Just get out of this hole and build yourself back up. Overall, you are doing great things. What are some highlights from the week: I uploaded chapter 1 of Thick Face Black Heart book summary I built 5 lessons out of thin air I had a couple of really good introductory lessons I opened up about being upset with my dance partner for breaking it off I talked to a traveling consultant coach for 45 minutes she is very attractive - (she also kept getting really close to me throughout the day, not sure if this is in my head or if it was legitimate) - again super attractive, I love experiences of talking to attractive women because I really want to get used to that so that I'm more comfortable Had a breakthrough with one of my students - we started dancing "close contact" for all of our smooth dances - she is stretching her feet and we started to use more emotion Okay, great, again really positive things throughout the week and then the weekend hits and things just hit the fan... although I did put in several hours into my YouTube channel, which is great. I am proud of myself, truly, but there are always things to work on. What do I want to do today: Take a shower Buy some toothpaste Brush teeth / floss Start to figure out what to do this week What does this upcoming week look like? Monday: 7:00: Shower and groom 7:30 Meditation 8:00 Journal and eat breakfast (protein shake) 8:30 Pack everything up 9:00 Head to the gym 9:30 Work out 10:30 am dance practice 1-10pm: work 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Tuesday: 7:00 Shower and Groom 7:30 meditation 8:00 consultation call 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything up 9:30 Head to the gym 10:00 Workout 11:00 Here I am going to head to the library and see if there is anything that I need to take care of 2:00 Dance practice 4-10 pm: Work 10 Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Practice circulating sexual energy Wednesday: 7:30 Shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 head to dance training 10a-12p - dance training ($20) 12-10pm Work 10 Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 circulate sexual energy Thursday: 7:30 shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 Cook meals for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 10:30 Leave for gym 11:00 Work out 12:00 Dance practice 2:00 Dance practice 4-10pm Work 10pm Head home 10:30 Brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Friday: 7:30 Shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 Head to the gym 10:00 Work out 11:00 Dance training 1-10pm Work 10pm Head home 10:30 brush teeth and wash face 11:00 Circulate sexual energy Saturday: 7:30 Shower and groom 8:00 Meditate 8:30 Journal and eat breakfast 9:00 Pack everything 9:30 Leave for New Haven 10:30 Head to Grand Central 12:30 Arrive at NYC 12:30-4:00 Make my way towards the dance studio, hitting on women on my way over there (20 minute walk) 4:00-5:30pm WCS Jack and Jill Prep - ($45) 5:30-8p - hit on women on my way over to the next dance studio (9 min walk) 8:00p - 12am Social dancing ($20) 12 am Head back to Grand Central 1:00 am Grand central train 3:00 am Get back to CT 4:00 am Get back home Sunday: 9:30am Shower and Groom 10:00 Meditate 10:30 Eat breakfast and Journal 11:00 Get things ready 11:30 Do laundry, grocery shop, cook meals for the week, give yourself a haircut, make something for the Super Bowl 3:30 head to the library to work on some things and get ready for next week 5:00 Leave for for the Super Bowl 6:00 pm Enjoy the Super Bowl! 11:00 pm get home, wash face and brush teeth Lets also take a quick look at what it is I am trying to accomplish in my life: I want an abundance of sex with an abundance of women I want a highly conscious and highly developed intimate relationship (at the end of the pick up journey) Open up a meditation center I want to be incredible at having sex, being able to have multiple full body orgasms and lasting for hours Become a world champion dancer Make $100,000 a year Lots of entries Lots of lessons Start a YouTube channel Approach 1,000 women Make a vast impact on humanity through my work Youtube channel Performing powerful solos Have a God-like shredded physique Exemplify authentic, healthy masculinity Write books on spirituality and enlightenment Buy a house for entertaining Reach a level of consciousness of 1,000 Okay, now how am I going to set my life up so that I am working towards my goals every single day? Wake up at 7:30am - dude just do it. Wake up and get in the fuckin' shower Workout 4 days a week ~ Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I just have to do this - and I need an hour at the gym, no less than that Start meal planning - I want to have the necessary amount of macros in order to gain muscle - I am going to be more strategic about this and track everything Meditate daily Approach at least 10 women every weekend - you need to be meeting new attractive women on a weekly basis Work hard when you are in the studio and take multiple coachings a week On Sundays, always give yourself a haircut, meal prep for the week and Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 0 Make bed: 0 Journal: 92 Brush teeth streak: 94 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 65 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 0 No ejaculation streak: 0 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 93 No smoking weed streak: 48

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #90 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 0 Make bed: 11 Journal: 91 Brush teeth streak: 93 Floss streak: 4 Shower streak: 64 Meditation streak: 0 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 4 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 4 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 4 No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 92 No smoking weed streak: 47

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #89 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 3 Make bed: 10 Journal: 90 Brush teeth streak: 92 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 63 Meditation streak: 4 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 4 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 4 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 3 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 3 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 3 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 3 No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 91 No smoking weed streak: 46

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #88 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 2 Make bed: 9 Journal: 89 Brush teeth streak: 91 Floss streak: 2 Shower streak: 62 Meditation streak: 3 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 3 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 3 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 2 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 2 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 2 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 4 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 2 No ejaculation streak: 2 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 90 No smoking weed streak: 45

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #87 Okay, now this morning, I woke up at 7:00 am, but I stayed in bed until about 7:45 am. Its now 8 am, I am journaling right now and drinking my coffee. I wanted to get to the gym so that I could get a leg workout in, but I don't know if that is possible anymore. One thing that I'm realizing is that it really doesn't mater what order I do my morning routine in. I have had a healthy paradigm shift in regards to this, as I have realized that the intention of a morning routine like this is for an overarching goal, which is just to get things out of the way that set me up for success so that I can get on with the day afterwards and enjoy more success. It doesn't matter if I journal first or second or third, if it gets my ass out of bed on time, then that is what I should do. In the creative process, sometimes things change and you have to be able to adapt to that. When I try to get myself out of bed in the morning, the thought of showering is not enticing at all, so I procrastinate. However, the thought of drinking a hot coffee and journaling is VERY enticing so just lean into that, no harm there. Next thing on the agenda, I have realized that I really am hurt by this dance partnership break up and I should really talk to this girl about it. This is what a real man, or a real Thick Face Black Heart practitioner would do, of course ideally I am able to handle situations like these with dispassion and detachment, in which I am able to detach from the emotions that I am feeling in favor of a more wholistic, warrior-like mindset, but this is just where I'm at. On another positive note, I have about $1300 coming into my bank account tomorrow from this dance event over the weekend. I had owed my mom $320 and my dad $585 so I will be able to pay them COMPLETELY back. This is going to feel AWESOME to get this off of my shoulders. I also only have until mid March to pay back my debt relief program, that will also feel awesome. I feel like I'm finally starting to take back control of my financial life. Some things that I would like to save for: I need to start saving money in my bank account in case my car craps out on me, this is essential, I have no idea how long this thing is going to last, it is a 2001 Toyota Avalon with about 205,000 miles on it. The next thing is my heart surgery, I will have to pay at least $3,000 for it. There are the most important things but there are more things that I would like as well, lets make a list and order them by priority: New smooth shirt and smooth vest: $300 Heart Surgery: $3,000 New car: $5,000 Shrooms: $200 Upgrading teeth: $3,000 Dating coaching: $2,500 Tattoos: $500 Buying a condo / house: $10,000 Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 1 Make bed: 8 Journal: 88 Brush teeth streak: 90 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 61 Meditation streak: 2 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 2 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 2 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 1 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 1 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 1 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 3 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 1 No ejaculation streak: 1 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 89 No smoking weed streak: 44

Interlude: Things to do today ~ 1.27.26 Okay, so right now I feel fuzzy. I don't know what to do. I know I've got to meditate and get my visualizations in, but I also have no clean underwear. I have to do some laundry. This ideally should have been done on Sunday night so that I felt ready for the week to begin. This is what I am missing in my schedule, a Sunday night in which I make sure that I have everything set up for the week. Okay, so I will work on this next weekend, but for now I have to start playing catch up. What is it that I should be doing on Sunday nights anyways? I want to give myself a haircut, clean and organize my room, do laundry, cook food for myself for Monday through Thursday. Anyways, I now have to play catch up. So I have to do my laundry, give myself a haircut, cook food, meditate, organize my room, and then head to the gym and then to work. I wanted to get to work early so that I could start calling people to get them in this week, we will see how that goes. My lesson count is low this week, but hey I have to get things ready and in order, theres no way around it. Okay, ready set go,...

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #86 Yesterday I had a good day. We were snowed in so I spent the day shoveling, reading books, napping, and creating videos for my Youtube channel. Nowadays, I am always doing productive things when I have free time because I have such a strong and overarching vision for my life. This is vastly different from how I used to live 3+ years ago. A masculine energy has awoken within me in which I am embodying a man with a Thick Face and a Black Heart, in other words I do not care what others think about me and I will do whatever it takes to meet my goals. This will carry me into this weekend in which I am going to head to New York City and approach women. I feel a new surge of energy when I tell you this, I am going to make this happen no matter what. I am now willing to fail, I do not care about how a single approach goes, I do not care what these women think about me, I only care about THE RESULT. Thats all I fuckin' care about. And in order to get the result, which is actually just the girl of my dreams, I have to approach AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. I have grown frustrated with my inability to wake up at the time that I have set for myself. Its not that hard to get your ass up when the alarm goes off and it will do wonders for the goals that you are set to reach because you will have the necessary time that it takes to actualize them. Think about it, you waste an entire hour when you are supposed to wake up, scrolling on your phone. That is an entire hour that you could spend organizing your life, or working out, or journaling, or working on your YouTube project. Get your ass up. Last night, I did watch porn and masturbate and ejaculated. The ejaculation was an unintentional "retrograde ejaculation" in which the semen dispersed into my bladder. I could tell because no semen came out of the head of the penis, but I completely lost my erection. This is a big wake up call as I have no idea anymore how to actually have full body orgasms. This needs work. I am excited to start treating the women that I know at work differently. I recently became aware that I act a certain way around them in hopes that I will get into their pants one day. This is neediness behavior. I am COMPLETELY shifting this mindset. I do not care what they think about me. AT ALL. I do not pursue women at work. I do just fine pursuing them elsewhere. The road to becoming a masculine man is a tumultuous and difficult path and I am finally ready to take the first step. Morning Routine: Wake up at 7:30am: 0 Make bed: 7 Journal: 87 Brush teeth streak: 89 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 60 Meditation streak: 1 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 1 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 1 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 2 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 0 No ejaculation streak: 0 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 88 No smoking weed streak: 43