Spiritual Warrior

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  1. Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #66 Here lies a new chapter in my life and this journal. I am GOING to hit on women. I am GOING to get laid. I am GOING to get a wonderful girlfriend. I am GOING TO DO THIIS NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. I'LL GO OUT EVERY WEEKEND. I'll summon the courage to hit on every woman that I find attractive. I am that guy. I am going to hit on these women directly, with confidence and charm. I will do this with persistence and hard work and integrity. And NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is going to stop me. Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30am: 3 Make bed: 1 Journal: 66 Brush teeth streak: 68 Floss streak: 4 Shower streak: 39 Meditation streak: 4 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 1 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 1 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 3 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0 I love all of these changes, these affirmations are great. However, my mind was wayyyyyy too scattered yesterday and I was unable to focus on the affirmations that I wanted to get in Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 4 No ejaculation streak: 4 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 67 No smoking weed streak: 22 Attracting women tracker: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Dates gone on: Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50
  2. @Miguel1 30 years young
  3. Entering a No-Thought state is the key to Awakening I just finished reading "Who am I? Meditation" by Ramaji and I want to share this insight with you guys. I am NOT enlightened, but this insight really changed the way I see the spiritual path and I haven't seen it talked about much. There are lots of golden nuggets in this book, but the main thing that I got out of it is that this "I-thought" comes from the Heart, and in order to enter a non-dual state, the "I-thought" has to move back down towards the Heart, in which it is dormant and not active. This means that you have NO THOUGHTS going on in your head. This is an incredibly difficult task as our minds trick ourselves into thinking that it is "keeping us alive." But in reality, you are able to function perfectly fine and as a matter of fact MUCH BETTER if you were to kill off the "I-thought" completely. Here are some practical steps that you can take to become aware of this "I-thought" and eventually kill it off. And remember, this is a long term project so give yourself grace. The first stage in the manifestation of this is just to be aware of the thoughts, become an observer of your thoughts, see every single one come into your mind, watch them come into your awareness and then leave your awareness The second thing to do is to ask the "I-thought" "who are you?" The "I-thought" should respond and tell you "I am the I-thought," then ask it where it came from, the "I-thought" should say "I came from the Heart," then politely tell the I-thought to "Hang out in the Heart for a little while." Don't worry, he will come back. He does not go away easily as he does not want to die. You do this OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN I am going to make this a daily habit for myself to do this type of inquiry for 20 minutes a day. You should do the same! And read that book, it is life changing, "Who Am I? Meditation" by Ramaji. Hope you found this interesting.
  4. Been a ballroom dance instructor for 2.5 years and it has changed my life for the better. I am now entering competitions and I am able to authentically express myself in ways that I hadn't previously thought possible. I still struggle with getting laid as I currently lack the courage to approach women on a weekly basis. I am also realizing that its almost as if I don't actually want to get laid because it scares me, I am doing visualizations and affirmations to kick start this process, I KNOW that I will deal with this. I am going to start shifting my focus this year onto more material desires such as getting laid, making more money, winning dance competitions, buying a house, this will be my focus for the next 5-10 years. Serious spiritual pursuits will then come after I exhaust these more "shallow" desires as I have been learning that I cannot fully embrace a "non-dual" state when I am still deeply frustrated with my lack of success in my bank account and attracting women. Overall, I have come so far and I am very proud of myself. The effect that actualized.org has had on me has been truly remarkable, not sure where I'd be without it. I have noticed that since following this work off and on for 10 straight years, nowadays the effects that Leo's vidoes have on me are much more profound, its as if I am finally coasting off of the hard work that I've put in. I now look at my life like a never ending project, in which the manifestation of things requires a deep marination over long time horizons. I have finally started to realize the important of long term fulfillment as opposed to instant gratification, which is a much more mature and fulfilling way to lives ones life. I wish everyone the best, I genuinely love you all.
  5. Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #65 As I journaled about last night, yesterday was an absolute nightmare of a day. But you know what? I'm actually happy it happened that way, it has lit a fire underneath me that I have not felt probably since I started this journal back on November 1st. And you know what else? I'm not mad at this girl AT ALL, no bad feelings towards her whatsoever. Firstly, saying things like this to hurt someone else is a projection of how she feels about herself, so theres that, secondly, again, the pain of this event is EXACTLY what I needed to put things into perspective and to start taking ownership if this problem in my life. The fact that I am not upset with her is a testament to how far I've come in my "raising consciousness" / "emotional mastery" journey, a couple of years ago if something like this happened, I would have been so upset with this person and I would have wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Instead, this event has filled me with energy and focus. As I journaled about two days ago, yes I am a very loving person, this is a great quality within myself that is attractive to others and also makes me very happy. Where I am lacking is on execution and self-confidence, which is hindering my progress in "getting laid." You can be the most loving person in the world, but if you do not have the courage to hit on women, they will never be given the chance to be touched my your loving grace. And this is what I'm dealing with right now. I have added several things back onto the tracker as I am shifting my focus back towards material desires over spiritual pursuits, (spiritual pursuits are more of a part of a 20 year plan for me, I would like to exhaust myself of all "material desires" within 10 years, which creates urgency to get these things out of the way.) Some examples of the material pursuits are getting laid A LOT, having an abundance of money in my bank account, buying a house with a backyard for entertaining, and winning dance competitions. More long-term spiritual pursuit goals are opening up a meditation center, writing books about Truth and Enlightenment, and of course reaching an LOC of 1,000. The books that I will be reading will also be more geared towards material pursuits, reading things like "The Path of Least Resistance," "Loving What Is," "The Sedona Method," "The Talent Code," and "Do You!" Here is a summary of the changes that I've made to my habit tracker: I've added "Wake up at 7:30am back to the list "Make my bed" has been added I've added a "hitting on women visualization exercise" and an "I love having sex with lots of women" to the meditation routine that I do every morning. This means that I meditate for 20 minutes and then I do these two exercises. Yes, I am taking away 10 minutes of meditation, but I am still getting 20 minutes in, and remember, my goals right now are more geared towards success and material desires rather than spiritual pursuit. The visualizer is going to motivate me to go out into the real world and actually hit on these girls. The "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation is going to address the fact that I may not actually currently want this in my mind, which is creating a vibration out of touch with the desire, this will iron this out. I've also created the affirmation and visualization streak into its own category as there are a lot of them. I've also added a "dates gone on" onto the women tracker Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30am: 2 Make bed: 0 Journal: 65 Brush teeth streak: 67 Floss streak: 3 Shower streak: 38 Meditation streak: 3 Affirmations / Visualizations streak: Hitting on women visualization: 0 "I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0 "I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 2 "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 2 Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 2 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 3 Wash face streak: 3 No electronics before bed streak: 0 ( I watched Star Wars in my bed last night) "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 3 No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 66 No smoking weed streak: 21 Attracting women tracker: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Dates gone on: Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50 Things to do today: Drop package off at post office Bring in things from your car Put clothes away Pack up things for work in backpack Head to gym Head to work
  6. Interlude: A Wake Up Call ~ 1.4.26 After a great day yesterday of eating pancakes and lots of positive thoughts and emotions, I got slapped in the face with reality and had one of the worst days in a while on an emotional level. So strap yourself in, you are going to enjoy this at my expense. I am fine by the way, I am actually really motivated and I’m grateful that it happened as it was truly a great wake up call, albeit very painful and embarrassing. So I went to a girls house to hang out with her. When I first got there, I was in a good mood, we were joking around, having a good time. Then, her dad comes back and my emotional state shifts a bit and I become less likely to authentically express myself. I thought I was over this but I guess not… I try to release using the Sedona Method, it kind of works but not really… Anyways, he is going to cook us dinner. We go downstairs to practice our dancing, It then dawns of me that this is really why I was invited over here, it was to practice dancing and not just to hang out, and there goes another shot to the emotional state. Now heres the real kicker and what absolutely shatters my emotional state, so she is aware that a few weeks ago, I went to the city to attempt to hit on girls and failed, not hitting on a single one - and she pokes fun at me for that, saying that “its not that hard.” I immediately shut down on an emotional level, I am now completely expressionless, I feel insecure, emasculated, embarrassed. This is a girl that I HAVE A CRUSH ON and she is making fun of me for NOT BEING ABLE TO GET LAID. This is like shit out of a fuckin’ nightmare, truly. I really struggle to bring a smile to my face at this point, I make it through the dance practice completely expressionless, she asks me whats wrong but I don’t tell her. We are stretching afterwards and I am able to release the emotions that I’m feeling somewhat and move from a state of apathy to a state of grief or fear in which I am at least able to function. We mess around a bit with the nerf guns until dinner is ready. But she is right, I am failing to get laid right now, I am unable to summon the courage to escalate things with her and any other girl for that matter… and this makes me feel embarrassed and useless. We then head upstairs to have dinner with her dad. I am actually feeling okay at this point as I have successfully released the “apathy” emotional state that I was feeling earlier, thank God for the Sedona Method. We enjoy dinner together and I was pretty calm and collected but not saying too much, just listening and asking questions. This girl challenges the fuck out of me with her jabs and although this was a VERY painful experience, it was the truth bomb that I needed. I am going to put all spiritual pursuits on hold for now and I am going to just focus on material success, mainly getting laid. I have put this off long enough, I have to deal with this or it will just keep coming up again and again and again.. Whats funny is that the emotions and thoughts that I was feeling yesterday about this girl and how the day would go were all VERY POSITIVE, what I don’t understand is if my thoughts were so positive doesn’t that mean my vibration would have been matching my desires and the day should have gone exactly as I planned it? Is the Law of Attraction complete bullshit or was my vibration just not truly matching my desire? I have wondered before, do I actually want to get laid? Because if I don’t actually want it, then my vibration will not match that desire.. Hmmm… something to contemplate. What I do know is there has been a fire lit under my ass and I am going to deal with this problem head fuckin’ on - I am going to drive straight through the belly of the beast and get laid over and over and over again. And I don’t care if I have to approach 10 women, 100 women, 500 women, 1,000 women, 10,000 women. I am going to keep fuckin’ going until I get where I want to get to. There are no excuses, its time… The people that make comebacks take responsibility They don't blame anyone, they don't make excuses They look at their situation and they say "I did this" "I let this happen and I'm going to fix it" Personal responsibility is the foundation of every comeback Understand that the work that you're putting in today might not pay off for months But it will pay off if you keep going There is going to come a day when you wake up and realize you're not at the bottom anymore You're gonna look around and see that you've made progress You're going to feel different, you're going to carry yourself different People are going to start noticing that something has changed about you You work harder than you ever have You stay more consistent than you ever have You believe in yourself more than you ever have You take responsiblity for everything You stop waiting for things to get easier You just get stronger If you keep showing up and doing the work, results will come They have to, its a law of nature Consistent action produces results It might not happen as fast as you want It might not happen the way you expect But it will happen if you keep going
  7. Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #64 Today, I am going to head to the neighboring state to visit a girl. My intention going into this is to become more and more aware of what she needs for her development, I will also be letting loose and having fun as I would like to enjoy myself and she is an awesome girl. One thing that people get from me is a loving energy, a very loving energy. This is something that I’ve been able to manifest and grow over years. And I look forward to how loving I become in this life. My job here on this Earth is to become the MOST LOVING that I possibly can be. Give yourself up, surrender to the Greater Unknown. I have a vision of this girl crying. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze. She is crying about something that is silly, I tell her that “she is loved,” “We all love you and will always love you, no matter what you do, remember that,” This is what this girl is missing, its what A LOT of people are missing. Unfortunately, there are many parents out there in the world that don’t TRULY LOVE their kids, they love them but in a selfish and controlling way, in which they retract the love if the kid does something that they don’t approve of. This is sad, but the parent doesn’t know any better… I mean this is how they were raised as well. But we are growing as a society and we are evolving into something greater, something much better. But there is love all around us, just be open to feeling it. What do I envision for this girl, try to take yourself out of the equation. The idea is that she SHOULDN’T need you for anything, that is what you should want for her because not needing anyone for anything is a necessary part of everyone’s evolution. The cool thing about this is that you are able to see past her and past yourself, I am not focusing on her not texting me back yet, I am focused on what SHE NEEDS in her development which is key. What does she need in order to develop herself into a healthier human and reach her full potential? The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that she does not love herself. This is big, she is very insecure, mainly about her looks. I could give her compliments, which means I have to give compliments to other women as well. And you could start with something as simple as “I like your shirt.” I think something this simple could go a long way. Next, I’d like to analyze what she projects outwards, this will give me insights into what she needs. She definitely judges the way I sound and also the things that I wear at times, this means that she judges the way she sounds and the way she looks because we are both one and the same. What can I do about that? I can compliment her voice somehow as well. Honestly though, I think journaling about this is a bit overkill, I mean these things are supposed to come up organically. I think having the intention of helping her in her development is probably enough for now. Okay… fair enough. But be conscious of how she acts and then journal about it afterwards… okay, deal. As you can see, I like to have conversations with myself. This is a good way to deal with things for me, it feels like my lower self is talking to my Higher Self. The Higher Self is somewhere “out there” and the lower self is the one that is controlling the body and making choices. I am not affected by petty things anymore. I am on my own journey and my vision includes you and also sees past you, onto GREAT HORIZONS, ones that you nor I can currently see. But they are there and I will not stop until I meet my Maker. Its 9:50 am and I said I'd get there at 1 pm. It takes 1.5 hours, which means I have to leave from wherever I'm at by 11:30 am. I would like to unpack my car first and foremost, then give myself a haircut, then work out to some capacity and also pack that ebay item. Okay, ready go. Things to do: Print shipping label Package item and put in car Unpack car Organize room Haircut 1.3.26 Morning routine goals: Wake up at 7:30am: 1 Journal: 64 Brush teeth streak: 66 Floss streak: 2 Shower streak: 37 Meditation streak: 2 Funniness affirmations: 1 Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 2 Wash face streak: 2 No electronics before bed streak: 2 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 2 No ejaculation streak: 2 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 65 No smoking weed streak: 20 Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50
  8. Interlude: Personal Journal ~ 1.3.26 I fuckin' love journaling. So right now, I am sitting at IHOP. I had to do this pancake challenge in which I have to sit here for 24 hours, the catch is that for every pancake I eat, I get to subtract an hour. I've been here since 11:30 am, its 6:30 pm and I have eaten 15 total pancakes. This means that I have to stay here until 8:30 pm in order to finish the challenge. I was definitely suffering throughout the process, especially during pancakes 10-15, but looking back on it, it wasn't too bad. I will happily sit here for another two hours and just read and journal. I'm happy I did this. I also documented everything and put it onto my Instagram story. This was a lot of fun and it lines up with my vision of starting a YouTube channel, I am getting used to videoing myself and also I just love creating, it is one of my pure joys that I get out of life. People were VERY supportive in the comments, which I really appreciated, it felt like a real team effort! I really want to set my life up for success and I think that I made a mistake going away from the habit of waking up at 7:30 am every day, this is a good goal. I also stopped doing the affirmations of "I see funniness everywhere" and "I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others," these affirmations are golden, they make me a much happier person and a much funnier person, which helps with lessons and attracting women. I stopped doing these out of pure laziness, I allowed my mind to take control and get its way. No more of that, I can do these affirmations on a daily basis. I also really want to set up my workout schedule and eating habits. Yes, I'm doing a great job, my physique is improving, but I would like to be more strategic for efficiency. With that being said, I am going to come back to this because I first and foremost need to make a list of things that I need to do in order to feel more at home at my moms house, which I just moved into. Here is a list of things that I would like to do: Things to do: Unpack everything else in your car Organize room, put clothes away, find spot for books and other items, etc And thats actually it... just get these things done for now, TONIGHT. And then you can either read or journal some more about your life
  9. You can be broke and meditate 20 minutes a day. Getting laid and getting finances in order could be your main priority and meditate a little bit every day using your favorite meditation technique which will pay dividends down the road when you've already got a girlfriend and have a lot of money.
  10. Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #63 Yesterday was an interesting day. Heres the thing, I know that this tracker is in flux right now. My mood is also in flux. I am still in the process of moving into my moms house so things are not set up yet. Heres the thing though, even when I am not "100%," I'm still doing pretty well. Again, I am able to access mindsets that are VERY loving. And this is super important, both to my happiness as well as the effect that it has on others. Now, don't get this confused with being a "nice guy," I use lots of push - pull when dealing with people, there is lots of teasing and "poking fun" - I have learned that this is the best way to have a good time with colleagues and friends. We had a staff outing at this German restaurant and someone had to get "spanked" with a paddle because we bought a flight of shots. Other people volunteered me and I genuinely don't mind doing things like this, doing things like this always pay dividends in the "energy" department. I walk up their and get spanked... And it actually REALLY hurt, there was a really painful sting with each swipe. God damn... But I did it and afterwards I felt an emotional release and I felt more open socially and emotionally. I have been noticing that other people tend to talk about me around the table, which I am actually proud of (these are not bad things either, its all positive). This means that I am making some sort of impact on them, I am no longer invisible. Next, we go out to a salsa club and I have a lot of fun dancing with everyone there. I am going to keep doing this and practice certain things like eye contact and approaching women and socializing when I can.. In these salsa club settings I am not actually hitting on them... although who knows maybe I can build up to that.. The "hitting on" will occur during the city trips and while going about my business on the day-to-day. I have finally built something tangible with my life. I love my job, I love myself. I love my friends and family. I love everything about it. I am so proud of myself and what I have been able to create.. And the best part... Things are only going to get better. I love myself and everyone on this fuckin' Earth! 1.2.26 Morning routine goals: Journal: 63 Brush teeth streak: 65 Floss streak: 1 Shower streak: 36 Meditation streak: 1 Funniness free talk exercise: 0 Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Work out: 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 1 Wash face streak: 1 No electronics before bed streak: 1 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 1 No ejaculation streak: 1 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 64 No smoking weed streak: 19 Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50
  11. Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #62 As you can see, I have reset most of these trackers. I am in the process of overhauling this thing again, as I have somehow lost the connection between why I'm doing the habit and what I'm building towards. I started journaling about what I am going to eat for food for the week and also when I am going to cook and grocery shop for it. I will post about this later, this habit tracker will be under construction for a few days as I figure this out. In the meantime, here is the the list "as is." 1.1.26 Morning routine goals: Journal: 62 Brush teeth streak: 64 Floss streak: 0 Shower streak: 35 Meditation streak: 0 Funniness free talk exercise: 0 Sexual abundance affirmation: 0 Work out: 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 0 No ejaculation streak: 0 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0 No alcohol streak: 63 No smoking weed streak: 18 Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $687.50
  12. Interlude: Goals in life (categorized by tiers) I constructed this in order to create a very solid and tangible vision for what I am building towards in my life. This should create motivation within myself and the habits that I partake in on a day-to-day basis should follow suit so that I am building towards eaching all of these lofty goals one day. Valuable things require time to develop. First tier (5 year goals): Have a shredded physique Workout 3-5 days a week Eat 150 g of protein a day Win dance competitions Compete in as many dance competitions as possible Get a coaching once a week Practice as much as I comfortably can Become a “player” that has sex with lots of women Go out to Boston every weekend and talk to women Go out salsa dancing Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights Have a Youtube channel in which I talk about masculinity and I approach women “in the field” Start recording yourself talking about things Start recording yourself going out and talking to people Have full body orgasms while having sex, last for at least 30 minutes Get in touch with energy fields while meditating Masturbate without stimulation and last as long as possible Buy a cute little house with a porch and outdoor bar Save up money and continue to grow income through dance and YouTube Transition phase (5-10 years) Marry the girl of my dreams Second tier (10 year goals): Become an Arthur Murray dance studio owner Build lessons and events as quickly as possible Reach LOC 600 (non-dual state) Meditate every morning and read spiritual books every night Third tier (20 year goals): Open up a meditation center Daily meditation and save up money Write books about Truth and enlightenment Daily meditation and reading spiritual books Reach LOC 1,000 Daily meditation and reading spiritual books
  13. Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #61 I have grown frustrated with myself. I don't know whats going on but I am not attached to my vision anymore. I am waking up whenever and doing whatever... Now this is better than what I used to do for sure, I am now at least contemplating what I should be doing instead of just allowing my emotions to run the show right from the get-go (when I get out of bed.) There are a few moving parts here though, I just moved back in with my mom and I haven't really unpacked yet so I really need to settle into her house. Why don't you just do that and then you can take a look at the tracker. Cuz this is the other thing, I am feeling resistance towards some of the things on the tracker.. some of them are no brainers but I am starting to not take some of them very seriously.. I will need to focus in on them which I think firstly takes looking at long term goals. What are you trying to do with your life first and foremost? I've been noticing that the longer I am on this self- actualizing journey, the more rewards I get from Leo's videos, that's pretty cool. 12.31.25 Morning routine goals: Journal: 61 Brush teeth streak: 63 Floss streak: 12 Shower streak: 34 Meditation streak: 0 Funniness free talk exercise: 5 Sexual abundance affirmation: 5 Work out: 0 Night time routine goals: Brush teeth streak: 0 Wash face streak: 0 No electronics before bed streak: 0 "Whole day" goals: No porn streak: 3 No ejaculation streak: 3 Eat 150 g of protein streak: 2 No alcohol streak: 62 No smoking weed streak: 17 Sunday Goals: Financial plan for the week Give yourself a haircut Grocery shop & meal prep Circulate sexual energy Number of Attractive Women Approached: For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2 Complimenting appearance: 0 Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0 Debt relief figures This is how much money I have left to pay back: For mom: $340 For dad: $685 For debt relief program: $825
  14. Interlude: I don't give a fuck what he thinks about me I had a cool insight today, so I have decided that since I am still climbing out of debt and I have a heart surgery coming up, I am going to move back in with my mom for a few months until I can deal with these things. It then crossed my mind that my brother in law is coming over and he is going to see me unpacking my stuff. I think to myself, “I wonder what he is going to think about me moving back in here…” and then it hit me, “I don't give a single fuck what he thinks about this decision, I actually couldn't possibly care any less.." This is a breakthrough moment as I used to think about what others think of me sooooooo often. Nowadays, my vision is too strong for me to care what these people think about me, especially since I don't even really like him, he does nothing for my life, nothing. So stay clear of petty thoughts, you have way too much to live for to waste energy on that.