Whitney Edwards

DAILY CHALLENGES 📌 morning.... (Accomplished ) ---------------------- 📍 ---------------------- 📍Work on entrepreneurship (research business ideas, study business, work on a preexisting business) for an hour ---------------------- 📍2 hours studying ---------------------- 📍2 hour reading ---------------------- 📍50 minutes meditation ---------------------- 📍1 hour walk ---------------------- 📍9 min cold exposure ---------------------- Gratitude exercise ----------------------

This entry is made on Saturday, January 25, 2025 Diary entries from January 15, 2025. January 15 2025. Wednesday I wrote this at 8 pm. I'm just trying to rest. I need to go tomorrow and submit my documents to the office. I need originals as well as a copy. I need to wake up early and make everything ready. Hopefully I won't need to pay money. I have less cash and I won't have much time to go to the ATM. I'm trying not to be anxious and I'll sleep early today. I also need to get a prescription this week or next week. I need to pay a bill tomorrow. My urine was completely clear today. I need to drink a lot of water. I need to look deeper into the problem of my nightmares and the reason behind them. The exact reasons. I'm planning to use ChatGPT and various versions of it a little more. Today made 1 thread and a journal for it. Strictly use ChatGPT. I want something free and something I can consistently rely on.. Also I'll need better strategic prompts to get better personalized output. More intuitive output. Also learn by observing why I get nightmares at specific sleep times. I can't believe that I wrote this in October. Wake up early in the morning and focus on what makes me feel better, not what makes me feel bad. This is my own operation and my own deliberation. https://i.imgflip.com/8i8xdc.gif

Mollyna to Whitney — , how much power is someone going to have over you? Just think of it. Always know that you are in control of your own world. At last everything comes down to your own emotions I feel like nobody could understand me better than Mollyna and P. https://i.imgflip.com/9g3vj6.gif https://i.imgflip.com/9gbwqo.gif This is so sad. Imagine if you were a man in this situation. How would you feel? What would you do?

Is this similar to positive affirmation?

I wish I had a deep deep friend who wouldn't betray me at all. Who I could completely trust without any doubt at all. With whom I could confide in anything I want, literally anything. And they wouldn't prey on my information or use it against me. No fake friends please. Not someone who backstabs me. Someone I could tell my deepest feelings too. And they would completely understand how I feel and not for some egoic reasons. But because they truly are invested in caring about me, the way a true friend should. Someone who understands my side. Someone who doesn't play mental games. Someone with emotional integrity and moral faithfulness. I wish they would hug me. I wish they would tell me it's okay when I'm going through a difficult time with my family and I have nobody to confess to. It's in our most vulnerable moments that we attract the worst kind of people.

At least I don't laugh at someone's pain.

When you are frustrated, it's something you have to deal with. It's hard when someone is constantly trying to get on your nerves and you cannot even talk about it to anyone because nobody understands your pain. I hate it when someone laughs at me.

There is nothing to be done about it..

So you don't know

Who cares

Embodiment. There has been some anxiety since some days.. I fail to connect myself on a deeper level. I don't know if positive affirmations will help. My sister has returned from her vacation. I don't feel so stable. I still feel a bit scatter brained because of my autism. My family stopped my therapy since a month now. I feel depressed because of that. I was actually doing better on therapy. I could have gained something from it. Now it feels cruel. I barely had 2 sessions with my therapist Chris. He was helping me understand my feelings and situations better. But now I feel helpless. I can't argue with my family why they decided to stop therapy.

I felt shy and sexually deeply repressed when I joined this forum in March 2023. I felt awkward almost scared to enter a male dominated forum like this. I remember having a formidable presence. How could a shy girl like me exist on here? It was merely impossible in my mind. I decided to take up a male username of Buck Edwards and somehow survive on this forum as a man and pretend to be a man. I thought this would be a safer Idea. I wouldn't get much attention or lousy messages from men leering at me. Neither would I have to constantly defend my position as a woman. It felt freeing. It felt I could do this. I did well and thrived for over a year. It felt non threatening. Over time I got tired of role playing as a man and it didn't suit me. I was fed up. I couldn't keep up the facade anymore. I just love being a woman and wouldn't want otherwise. My deepest feelings couldn't have been expressed role playing as a man. So I gave up. My husband was by my side. I felt hopeful and confident. That day I stopped that facade and came to my normal self. Yes it was an identity crisis I was battling with.. It was hard on me. I had my insecurities as a woman. I felt like I would get a torrent of messages from men. I have felt shy all my life. Even boarding a bus full of men frightens me. I can feel awkward around men. It's just how I feel and have been raised. I mostly grew up around females. My dad was the only male member in my family. My dad was a sturdy figure for me. Finally in July I felt liberated. My male pseudo name I adopted for this forum is stuck and that's alright. My name is Whitney.

I felt shy and sexually deeply repressed when I joined this forum in March 2023. I felt awkward almost scared to enter a male dominated forum like this. I remember having a formidable presence. How could a shy girl like me exist on here? It was merely impossible in my mind. I decided to take up a male username of Buck Edwards and somehow survive on this forum as a man and pretend to be a man. I thought this would be a safer Idea. I wouldn't get much attention or lousy messages from men leering at me. Neither would I have to constantly defend my position as a woman. It felt freeing. It felt I could do this. I did well and thrived for over a year. It felt non threatening. Over time I got tired of role playing as a man and it didn't suit me. I was fed up. I couldn't keep up the facade anymore. I just love being a woman and wouldn't want otherwise. My deepest feelings couldn't have been expressed role playing as a man. So I gave up. My husband was by my side. I felt hopeful and confident. That day I stopped that facade and came to my normal self. Yes it was an identity crisis I was battling with.. It was hard on me. I had my insecurities as a woman. I felt like I would get a torrent of messages from men. I have felt shy all my life. Even boarding a bus full of men frightens me. I can feel awkward around men. It's just how I feel and have been raised. I mostly grew up around females. My dad was the only male member in my family. My dad was a sturdy figure for me. Finally in July I felt liberated. My male pseudo name I adopted for this forum is stuck and that's alright. My name is Whitney.

Friday, January 24, 2025 You have to put some effort in understanding others as well. You cannot be fixated only around your own feelings. This is the internet so you have to be more patient with people and that's fine, it's out of my way, I got honed into this with time and calibration. I needed a lot of adjustments and my husband always tells me that I did a tremendously good job at it. A lot of people told me that I had shown impressive growth. Even Leo congratulated me. So I'm happy on that front. Yesterday (or a day before that) I received a message from a guy on the forum. This was the message (name hidden for privacy) I'm so delighted to receive this message. It made my day. Knowing that my insights helped him. I'm thinking about joining the group but still a little apprehensive. (my fears around men Lol) But when I am mentally ready I might join. I'm quite happy. Although I didn't have a good day "that day" the message felt uplifting and meant a lot to me. When I get that feeling, I either steer clear or create more space. People emit vibes, and you can pick up on important things about their potential tendencies through those vibes. Ever get that 'uh oh' feeling around someone? I usually do a little vibe check and either gracefully sidestep or give 'em some extra breathing room. People, they radiate energy, you know? And sometimes, that energy screams 'potential trouble' louder than a toddler in a candy store. Haha. Now, I'm the first to admit, sometimes it's just me projecting my own anxieties onto them. So, a little self-reflection is always in order. But if that uneasy feeling lingers, and you're not sure if it's your imagination or not? Better safe than sorry, right? Time to politely excuse yourself and ponder the mysteries of the human aura. Trust your intuition as you move along. Sometimes your intuition can bluff you though. So being cautious is the only advice. Also if someone is coming off as playing mind games, just dismiss them and avoid them at all costs, they are gonna be trouble sooner or later anyway. Side note - most people with good intentions actually make their intentions clear quite early on (in my experience).

Quotes are in date/month/year. https://i.imgflip.com/9g3vj6.gif https://i.imgflip.com/9gbwqo.gif

I value other things in women. Beauty is not necessary. Bullshit. Women can do a lot more.

A good understanding of Elon's modus operandi.

What do you think about Ted Kaczynski? Depraved or genius or con artist or psychopath or all of those?

Was Ted Kaczynski a genius or an insane madman?

Oof I wanted to make this thread and you made it while I was asleep. one step ahead of me you... Anyway this is the latest shitshow in the Trump drama salad.

My husband deleted the game. I wish it wasn't that bad for him. But wishes him well on his journey. He is doing great God bless.