Whitney Edwards

Watching YouTube political news coverage is more enjoyable than reading.

If it's going to get you in legal trouble, maybe it's safer not to do it. This work doesn't seem like the right fit for you given your psychological constitution and constraints. You might have to look for other jobs and gradually build your contacts. Also cold calling seems outdated.

Everything will be fine.

I motivated myself to get medication on January 11th. And I slept at 12.30 am that day. I went for a morning walk and I successfully motivated myself. I have gained some weight which I need to lose. I was very anxious on January 13th. This was my most anxiety provoking day. January 13 was passport day. I successfully completed my goal that day. Rest of the Timeline - January 14 was a great motivation day. January 15 - I spent the whole day looking for chatGPT options. January 16 I had work at the police station. January 16- January 20---,>> pretty hectic days, you know why January 21 and January 22 are anxiety days. January 23 - I received passport. January 24 - I get moody and I have a fight and i feel terrible and panicky. I throw and break things. Also a fight with my mom at night. January 18 - I abandoned my last journal.

I desperately needed medication on this day. January 11... And it was Saturday. And I remember having the courage to just go and get it despite my social anxiety.

I remember this day. She put something in my hair and I couldn't sleep because of it. I felt very tired and I felt ill by it. This was January 10th. I didn't fight with her over it.

Timeline builder - I had dyed my hair brown on January 6th this year. I remember that I hadn't slept well that day.

Ultimately everything comes back to you and how you deal with it. Your life is in your own hands and only you can make it happen. I had told myself on January 1 that it will be a new start. It was. I wanted to make a list of goals but it was a difficult time in the first week with lots going on with me. My family pressure was overwhelming. My sister had come back from vacation. I had to reschedule my passport appointment. I hadn't started a strict timetable. I was sick for some time too. I think I was just very very anxious for the few days on how things were going to happen. I don't have much of a record of the first week. Timeline

Times of anxiety. January 27 is the 80th anniversary of Auschwitz liberation, the Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Number 2 sounds like the ultimate Gigachad. Number 2 always.

Aged like fine wine.

After the January 6 attack, it has been difficult to protect democracy, let alone question it's validity.

I'm sorry you feel this way. Trump created division, paranoia. Keep strong. Tough times for immigrants.

I'll do it for every post whether I use ChatGPT or not. It's frustrating that this is even an issue. But whatever. Because if I don't state I'm not using, you'll accuse me of using it. I want no problems.

This has made me lose faith in democracy. The rabbit hole goes really deep deep down on this one and only the future technology and deep dive investigations will reveal all the dirty secrets that we're helplessly still not aware of. Maybe when the truth comes out, there will be a growing security concern among Americans and the world over because it will expose how democracy can be dangerously manipulated to serve the egoic agenda of the oligarchs. That will be a huge and a very disappointing exposé of how some groups of people exploited the gullibility of a huge mass of people who placed their trust in opinion panderers. It will be a sad day in history. That's why government transparency is a must and people like Musk are dangerously manipulating it masquerading it as Free Speech. Watch out.

The end of the story is — nobody has compassion for me. I feel a lot of frustration today. Some people have it much worse than me. I should always remember that. I just want to sleep and forget the world.

I mean Musk helped him.

January 25, Saturday, 2025. I didn't have nightmares but I'm still feeling shitty.

ChatGPT will become more human than humans in the future leaving humans behind. I hope that comes true because humans are full of shit and fight over silly things. ChatGPT is the winner. Better a bot that understands you than a human that scoffs at you.

I don't know. It's really up to you. Men who fear to commit generally never settle down. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Woke up in the middle of the night and that's not good. I don't remember if I had nightmares.

January 24, Friday, 2025 10.45 pm. I'll go to bed now. It wasn't a great day. But it was okay. Completed some goals for the month. Actually it was the worst day in January. I had fights. I threw and broke things. I was very frustrated. Looking forward to better days..

Okay

I sometimes wonder if I could stop being all over the place. I don't know if it's a mental disorder but I tend to be scattered brained a lot. If I can't be appreciated that's completely fine. God appreciates everyone and everything. In his eyes everything and everyone is perfect. I have a sense of vulnerability that becomes my source of composure. I lack maturity and I understand that. Well that part will never change as that is who I am, I mean I have problems and flaws of personality and character that I accept. Immaturity is one of them. Well I'm not trying to achieve anything big in life so I'm not super critical of who I am. I can only do as much as I can and I have already done well for myself in whatever way. With mental disorder life is hard. Nothing feels normal and nothing works normal. I try not to slide down but stay up as much as possible. I don't judge myself so in the same breath I don't judge others either. My life is unique. My personality is unique. I have an innocent heart and a sense of vulnerability that allows me to be empathetic. But I need to remember that I can always do better than what I already do. I need a lot of space for that though. Any changes in my life take place slowly. I hate how others perceive me because that's not who I am. I'm extremely introverted and I'm fine with it. Although it handicaps my social skills a bit, my autism does that too. I move slowly at my own pace. Any negativity impacts my growth. Negativity is my devil, destroyer of my soul. So I hate that. I can only speak in vacuum, I can never hold a normal conversation like other people do because my brain works at a grudgingly slow pace. I'm proud of who I am. There are dull days in my life, days when I don't even want to get out of bed. But it's okay. Like I said I don't judge myself because judging just makes everything worse. People are as they are. You have to be your best version everyday no matter what. Two-thirds of the month of December were spent in resume writing, applying for different jobs, thinking about money, writing a book, and processing my passport. Processing my passport occurred on December 18th. [my grammar is not that accurate] December 18th is also my father's death anniversary. So it wasn't an easy day for me. I want to get rid of my neurotic tendencies and addictions. My addiction to internet in general. So I'll keep a goal to minimize that. I want a regular exercise habit and clean eating. I want to do proper time management too. I'm planning to jack up my productivity in 2025. For that I will need a modicum of discipline. Other baby steps are doing my own therapy, consolidation of my goals, reduction in distractions and more focus on contemplative spirituality. I have to do some self exploration. My relationship with money My relationship with food My relationship with this forum My relationship with my husband My relationship with my life My relationship with time My relationship with humanity Starting new year I should also login and logout of the forum sometimes. https://i.imgflip.com/9facdc.gif https://i.imgflip.com/9fajeo.gif https://i.imgflip.com/9famdc.gif https://i.imgflip.com/9fambm.gif https://i.imgflip.com/9fam7z.gif https://i.imgflip.com/9faqjs.gif One thing that I regret about the last year is that I could not keep a track of time. Especially of the months between September and December. I feel like I wasted (not purposefully though) a lot of time between these months. I was also sick on and off and dealing with a friendship that I wasn't exactly quite comfortable with.