Whitney Edwards

I'm planning to sell a book on Amazon free publishing. I'm not sure if it's worth it. It's a technical book I'm currently working on. Did anyone (who has been or is currently writing) here benefit from Kindle publishing? I want some exposure as a writer.

@Lucasxp64 thank you so so much.

He is good with Tesla. That's about it.

I did some research and found these: Midjourney - Best for creating stylized and realistic AI art. Gamma AI - Best for generating unique presentations. Grammarly - Best for writing better. Perplexity.ai - Best for researching with information from credible sources. Consensus - Best for gathering current sources and understanding sentiment in your field. NotebookLM - Best for Understanding and "Brainstorming With" Large Files. Copy.ai - Best for copywriting and digital marketing strategies. Otter AI - Best for transcribing and collaborating on meetings. Descript - Best for podcast editing. Suno – Best for creating AI songs.

@Marcel don't mind some people. They can't mind their own business. I love you.

Anything for survival I guess.

We mostly don't think about male attention. We take it for granted. It's a fact. However sometimes charming men can get our attention. Sometimes men do that weird thing called negging to get our attention. Getting the attention of a woman is fairly easy. But keeping her attention and affection is the difficult part.

Don't invest so much in AI. It's gonna be a regular thing.

Maybe men are more hard wired to look for a solution to achieve something that matters to them. I often tend to express myself and ignore the solution. Because I don't look at problems as something to solve, rather something I need closure on. Expressing it means it probably no longer bothers me. Maybe expression matters more to women than some conclusive solution.

In my fantasy, I wanted to be dominated. Captured. Conquered. Taken.

I don't know where to start but a fantasy world is better than a real world.

My sister makes me ask her validation which is terrible.

My fantasies could also be driven by trauma I felt as a child. I experienced tremendous trauma as a child. Somehow I feel like I remained trapped in the identity my mind created as a child. Why do people do drugs? Why do people chase sex? Why are people addicted to alcohol? Why do people engage in dirty fantasies? These must be either escape mechanisms or coping mechanisms. Why do people turn to spirituality? Maybe people find their closure in something, anything. Maybe they want that closure really badly. Is this closure God? I often contemplate on these subjects. Maybe this is how people find their closure. The phenomenon of spiritual bypassing? I don't know. I think the last thread that broke my back is my family turning away from me.

Some of my fantasies are rape fantasies. I don't know why I have them. But I have them. And there's a sense of comfort in these rape fantasies. No I don't wish to be gang raped. That would be awful. But I have an inclination to be desired in a sexual way by a male especially in a way where I feel coerced and raped. It's something I find hard to confess. But it regularly bothers my mind. It's tough to be this vulnerable without feeling like prying eyes are judging me. Like I should be forcefully taken. I should be stripped off that layer of innocence. Like I have the art of writing that can make a male horny.

In almost all of my fantasies there's a factor of control, power, dominance, possession, need to be controlled, authority and submission. There's also archetypal components in these fantasies that relate to subjects of good, evil, limerence, mercy, psychopathy, greed, tolerance. The fundamental theme of these fantasies is — "I want to feel good." But the way to feel good or better does not follow a straightforward route. Rather it goes through a convoluted pipeline of dirt, confessions, love, romance, sex, domination, control, exposure, vulnerability, masculine feminine polarity and a sense of security from authority. Why!??? Maybe these fantasies are an escape route from an inner world of frustration and pain, torment and anger and helplessness.

My fantasies range from sexual to something evil or strange, weird, dark, odd.

Maybe I wanted domestic tranquility. Maybe I craved domestic bliss. Either way it was supposed to be something really powerful. What happens when you hate life?

I have sexual fantasies too. Different types. In my fantasy world I imagine both good and bad things. These fantasies are a doorway to my psyche. I probably didn't want this life, this existence. So there's a strong need to be attracted to fantasies.

Every time I have to face a stumble, a block, a barrier. Often I don't know how to cope or deal with it. It's so hard.

New phase of my life.

We have all been through everything. Separation, grief and loss. I feel like life cannot be complete without these. You have to go through the whole cycle. Now I fear for my own life. I don't know what my future will look like. My sister called me a piece of trash, a narcissist and shame and trouble to everyone. My own family rejects me. It's hard to live like that.

I think I lived a large part of my life in coping and insecurity. The insecurity prevents me from being my authentic self or even living my authentic life. I don't know how to share things, how to open up, how to be vulnerable, without it all being way too messy and awkward for my liking. Everyone praises me in some form, but is there anyone who truly understands me?? The depth and intensity of my emotions that I cannot write in words. Sometimes I feel like killing myself and that killing myself will be a solution. What good am i anyway to anyone? I want to be a bit cryptic in my writing because I'm paranoid about judgement and criticism. I have seen the word narcissist being thrown around. I have borderline disorder so maybe I might have some degree of narcissism in me. Who knows? I agree that I'm a bit arrogant. I cultivated my arrogance as a self defense mechanism. I don't know why I'm internalizing other's judgement so much. When people judge me I don't give a Fuck. But when loved ones judge you, it hurts like hell. Im not being a kid. I'm a human being. I get hurt too. I get dehydrated too. I fail like others too. Why such strong judgement?

Yea he has a book called the subtle art of not giving a fuck. Excellent book.

Traveling is quite superficial. It doesn't give you a collective gist of the culture of a place. I once traveled to a country but I lived there for a considerable length of time. It helped me understand the cultural context better. Most people travel for fun and to get a taste of a place. But there's no real intimacy to it. My opinion might offend some people but that's what I think.

These days I relieve my stress through painting. Feels similar to a dance.