Whitney Edwards

January 28, Tuesday, 2025. Woke up early morning. And now thinking what to do next. No zumba today. I was a bit depressed yesterday. Now feeling better. Things will be fine I guess. Time to work on junk food addiction.. I still have a hard time with it..

Asking for myself personally. How can women practice self love (and I have tried it a lot but cannot come to love myself) since I had many abusive relationships in the past that I tolerated silently. Some sense of unworthiness always remains. Any insight would be extremely helpful. Thanks.

January 28, Tuesday, 2025. 1:59 AM. Midnight. Night of January 27. This has been the most memorable day on the forum. What a day!!! I didn't expect the day to end like this. So many users flocked to that one thread. Suddenly out of the blue the thread appeared a few hours ago and it was declared that the mod was banned. I had no idea that he was demoted. I saw the thread and I was confused. And now the thread has the attention of everyone glued to it. All mods are on high alert today. What an unusual day. I feel bad for Leo. He had to put up with verbal abuse even though he was trying to be kind. I can't believe how everything unfolded in a matter of just a few hours. Maybe even NoSelfSelf is also dealing with a lot. I mean he was a mod for so many years and it must have been shocking to have been demoted. I can see how tough it is to run a community and for everyone to get along. Shit happens. I also think that warning points over a single comment can be very triggering especially when races are involved, it gets heated up quickly. I just avoid the whole thing because I know how difficult race topics can be. I had no idea things would go down like this. I even could not sleep on time because of this, I was glued to that thread to see any upcoming updates. You can never tell how something might pan out on the forum. Now almost every member from every nook and cranny is commenting on the thread. I don't know how long it will go on but I'm sort of tired of looking at that thread. May God bless everyone. Everyone wants peace and compassion and tranquility. Peace. I'll sign off now and go to bed. I had enough forum dose today lol. Today was an eventful forum day. Everyday there's something new to discover or a new event. It's sometimes hard to keep up. We also have our own lives and we cannot be glued to a forum every second. These things will keep going on. Although rarely, it still happens once in a while. The difficulty and perks of being in a multicultural forum. Today must be a heavy day for Leo. I can feel it. Everyone needs a break and some peace. Tries to rest in tranquility. I have compassion for everyone, those who received warning points as well as the mod and leo. It was a tough day of emotional ups and downs. Raw emotions coughed up. Nobody to blame. It's just that everyone's emotions got a bit entangled and there was offense felt in all directions. Everyone needs space and healing. Me too. I wish the forum better growth. Says goodnight to myself. And sleeps well. Calls it a day.

I see.

Borderline personality disorder and autism. Some form of adhd but slight. My mom is bipolar. And I have CPTSD and suicidal issues from childhood trauma. Also major depression and anxiety and anger issues as a result of trauma.

I'm not him. There seems to be some similarities or overlapping. Which is kinda weird and strange. I don't understand it. You already asked me many times about him. He does seem to be a bit oddly interested in me, said that he had a parasocial relationship with me, which was odd because I barely spoke to him, he was upset that I wouldn't talk to him. I guess he got a bit fixated on me for some time. Then he wanted to be female for some time I guess to get closer to women on the forum, his own words. His journal titles were definitely similar to mine and even his signature so I had to kinda abandon my old journal and modify my signature a bit. I am glad he changed some stuff so things are okay now. But I don't want to attract any weird parasocial relationship or that awkwardness to me. Maybe he was just experimenting because he is a new member here. Happens. Also it seems he has similar family and Mental health issues as me. Which is strange. Because I have never found anyone having similar mental health issues as I have. I have unique issues. But that's all there is to it. Don't pester him. Let it go. It's okay. Sometimes people can have similar issues, it is just weird because it's a small forum with a small group of people so it's kinda strangely coincidental to find someone having similar issues as mine. I guess the world is a much smaller place than I thought before. I said my peace.

I still have a lot of Breakthroughs to go through.

I agree it was a fascist salute. He wanted to make sure people got it that's why he did it twice.

Thats them being controlling. You have to put your foot down and tell them that you are responsible and you are an adult, that you don't need them telling you what to do and what not to do. I'm getting controlling vibes from your relationship. Seems like she wants things her way. Also seems like a nagging person. You can tolerate it for a while but sometimes just tell them that it's too much. If you are deeply invested in your relationship, I can't tell you to leave the person as that would be slightly unfair. Everyone has flaws. You might have some behaviors that they don't like and they might have some behaviors that you don't appreciate. Try to enforce your boundaries a couple of times. Relationships are often not complete or perfect but we have to strive for mutual peace and comfort. And I know that you have the maturity for that. You are insanely mature. Hope everything works out fine for you both.

I enjoyed the Zumba today.

Just say "hey I love you but there are certain things I won't be able to do." I had no boundaries in my past relationships. It was hard. I didn't know how to place them. It's especially harder if they argue about it further. Sometimes it takes patience. It's not so much about the words you use but the right timing and having patience with it. They will slowly change and adapt to your needs. Don't be extremely defensive. Just say once and sometimes repeat. Until they drop the habit.

Finally I can be in peace.

These tactics look good in the book. In reality men are very soft to follow any of these. Men don't have many emotional outlets. Men operate on fear. They like a girl then they fall hard for her and fear losing her. Then they will do everything to win her. It's they who get obsessed with girls. A man's greatest fear is losing the girl he deeply admires. Men who inherently follow these tactics don't do it forcefully or purposefully,they are just naturally cold, aloof and psychopathic, charming and some women get obsessed with them.

There's a slight difference though. The pieces of information that you take to confirm your own beliefs and biases that always existed versus pieces of information that you take to build your principles and character, to be your best version that maintains your integrity long term and expands your understanding of multiple perspectives that you begin to integrate and this makes your own integrity and character stronger long term because you chose pieces that align with your core values and these don't serve your short term agenda but a long term purpose and character for a lifetime regardless of social consequences, but your inner purpose is fulfilled. Internal VS external. HIGHER or Lower (no gpt used)

There's some validity to the message. People who don't have a strong sense of persona/purpose end up attaching themselves to any kind of internet ideology out there that appeals to their inner insecurities. It's like junk food. It makes them feel better in the short term but long term it does them more harm than good as it gives them an artificial sense of identity to attach on to. Thus eroding their own sense of self in the process. Cultivating a stronger sense of self is actually a very painstaking process, it's like chiseling a diamond and takes arduous amount of work and hours. The problem is that most people don't want to do that since junk food is easily available but in the end they remain stuck their artificial ideologies rather than deal with reality and they keep inflating their own egoes to the point it leads to the fragmentation of the self and confirmation bias and a limited experience of existence with zero positive outcome or impact. (no got used) There's a slight difference though. The pieces of information that you take to confirm your own beliefs and biases that always existed versus pieces of information that you take to build your principles and character, to be your best version that maintains your integrity long term and expands your understanding of multiple perspectives that you begin to integrate and this makes your own integrity and character stronger long term because you chose pieces that align with your core values and these don't serve your short term agenda but a long term purpose and character for a lifetime regardless of social consequences, but your inner purpose is fulfilled. Internal VS external. HIGHER or Lower (no gpt used)

Insert.

It could be Mollyna in another form.

There's some validity to the message. People who don't have a strong sense of persona/purpose end up attaching themselves to any kind of internet ideology out there that appeals to their inner insecurities. It's like junk food. It makes them feel better in the short term but long term it does them more harm than good as it gives them an artificial sense of identity to attach on to. Thus eroding their own sense of self in the process. Cultivating a stronger sense of self is actually a very painstaking process, it's like chiseling a diamond and takes arduous amount of work and hours. The problem is that most people don't want to do that since junk food is easily available but in the end they remain stuck their artificial ideologies rather than deal with reality and they keep inflating their own egoes to the point it leads to the fragmentation of the self and confirmation bias and a limited experience of existence with zero positive outcome or impact. (no got used)

Monday, January 27, 2025. 4.48 pm The forum went to shit. Shit is going down. Can't believe it. Oof. We are on a sinking ship. Numbers slowly dropping. Late contenders left. So sad. Now nobody can save it anymore. It's understandable. It's the internet. Nothing is permanent. I wish it wasn't this way. But anyway. I wish I had a better replacement a more permanent one. One moderator was banned today.

Practice this.

Hugs Princess.

I think he has a specific worldview. Anyway thanks for his service. I guess he was the only mod modding the dating section.

It gets harder and harder to be on this forum.

Awesome. Something really hard to achieve.

At the end of the day, I have myself. No one take your essence away from you.