Whitney Edwards

Anger can often cause rape. It doesn't mean it's a woman's fault. She did not contribute to it. But his lack of control over his anger can make him either a rapist or homicidal. Angry ex boyfriends have also been known to rape their women. It's not so much about the lack of sex as much as it is about revenge and seeking retribution in the form of punishing the woman, again no fault of her. Btw, rape had been used as a form of punishment for women(especially women held as prisoners of war), in ancient times centuries ago. It was thought to be used as a weapon to control women by punishing them with brutality. Such a mindset exists today as well when angry incels rape and think of it as justification and punishment for the rejection they feel in life. Does it mean it's right? Absolutely not. But it shows the more animalistic feral nature of human beings who are easily prone to brutality when their needs are not met. Yet, there's no guarantee that they would stop if their needs are met. It's like they need a reason and sometimes an excuse. But developing collective harmony can blunt some of the animosity and hostlity that incels feel. It shouldn't be outrightly ruled out, ignoring their frustration is not a solution. It only let's the problems fester. This does not mean that women owe them something. But finding ways to let them channel their frustration, letting them find companionship can alleviate some of the anger from escalating.

It's not far fetched to assume that lonely people could rape. Loneliness can lead to anger, frustration. Frustration can easily funnel into incel behavior. Joining fellow incels can trigger rage and such groups are known to support and promote rape mindset. Then a lonely enraged incel can be triggered enough to plan a rape someday. Although his loneliness could have been cured in healthier ways, he chose a rabbit hole that ultimately leads to crime. You see how the dots join.

Why are there 4000 guests? Creepy

I have struggled a lot with honesty. I suffered too much because of it. I keep reminding myself that authenticity and honesty can go a long way in improving myself. But my fear of people's judgement comes first and blocks my honesty. Then I go back into a vicious cycle of manipulation, lies and deception where I'm deceptive to those who are close to me. This causes a rift in my relationships both professionally and personally. I have tried to break this cycle but I'm unsuccessful.

I don't think anyone ever needed a relationship for that. If you need a relationship for those things, it's codependency. You need a relationship to feel loved and to give love. Companionship, care, sharing, affection, and - sex. It's impossible to just keep loving yourself. Like Leo said many times — you need "self-love" and "other-love." We're homo sapiens, social beings, we need validation. It comes from our family and partners. Of course being overly reliant on such validation is a recipe for misery and a result of neuroticism, but being overly independent can make you disconnected and anti-social, even marginally autistic. Your biases stem from an excessively mechanical and hyper logical way of reasoning social love. You're placing boxes and tick marks on it, like a laundry list. It's simply falling in love, connecting. This is only a problem if you aren't financially secure or healthy. If you got both bases covered, the first thing on your mind is the need to share your journey with someone special, same sex or opposite sex depending on your orientation. It's not a neat mechanical survival need, so of course you can survive, thrive and live without it, but it's like a state-of-the-art painting on the wall, it adds that touch of opulence to your home, it enriches your life the way art does, most people who live in scarcity don't think about love.

You don't have to be a horny dog or incel to crave a woman. That's taking it to extremes. It's not so much about need as much as it is about attraction. If you are cis straight/hetero, you're automatically attracted to someone of the opposite sex and seek fulfillment in their companionship. It doesn't always have to be about sex per se. It's about romantic attraction and sharing your life with that person, which of course if you aren't homo, you won't be able to do that with the same sex person, that's why dating exists in the first place. If people only wanted sex, there's casual hookups, yet I doubt if people only want that. And not only is it just not about only sex, it goes beyond companionship as well, people want to make families too especially as they get older, or they simply want someone to share the rest of their lives with. I don't think you could bypass this need easily. It's an ancestral need, vestigial in it's origin. And attraction is hard wired and biological, you'll be attracted one way or another to the one who you're meant to be attracted to. It's simply cannot be otherwise. Attraction is a hell of a drug. You wouldn't know unless you've been in an intensely sexually attractive relationship. It would need high impulse control to not get sucked into it. It almost always does.

"I've always been faithful to you... sort of." Did I hear that right?

Both need each other for romantic love. And sex of course. You wouldn't need a woman if you're gay. Most people are born straight as a pole.

@Princess Arabia then maybe you haven't been hurt enough to protect yourself. The body learns. The mind learns. When you are hurt in love, you will escape into self preservation self protection mode. Your worldview might become negative. But this negativity will protect you from hurt, pain and loss.

If you keep looking for love, you'll end up destroying yourself. Most people play games in the name of love. Don't crave love so hard, you'll end up attracting weird narcissistic individuals ready to hawk on your needs. Love is a serious illusion. In fact true love is like mental illness, you really have to be crazy enough to give all your love to a person on a mad level. And nobody does that. The love that you see is bland and boring, just people putting up smokescreen to look perfect together. Most people don't have the emotional capacity for true love because a lot of emotional labor goes into that. Attraction is nice and alluring but it's mostly temporary. Any love that is lasting is like companionship, yet it's not as romantic as you'd like to imagine, just companionship. These relationships are a representation of the mind's needs for attachment, neediness, stimulation, deprivation, comfort, excitement, passion. The right time to think about love is when you are actually in love. Ruminating about love is a waste of time when you don't have an actual partner. Also merely thinking about love is not enough. It's an intellectual gllue. It sticks and doesn't come off and perpetuates. Creating voids and holes and woundedness within. Just a recipe for depression, melancholia and further un-healing. You'll never get anything productive out of this. It's preoccupation and rumination of love. Also realize that people have suffered in love. They found someone, fell in love and attracted a lot of suffering. Betrayal, breakup, abandonment, cheating, rejection, discord, fights, damage, destructiin, volatility, coldness, chaos, failure. These are packages that come handy with the idea of love and romance. And it's immense emotional torment and suffering. Mental suffering. Emotional suffering. These are not easy to deal with and these people deserved fairness and justice. They didn't deserve hurt and pain. Heartbreak and heartache. So it's not all rosy and rainbows when you are in love. This needs to be realized. That companionship comes at a cost. Either the cost is compromise or it's pain. The gain is very little. The hurt can be too loud. If you feel so entitled to someone's love, then what do you feel about people who suffered after falling in love. Aren't they worse off than you? This world is a game of unfairness. Life is unfair. It will never be fair. It doesn't care about your desires and passions. This is not nihilism or pessimism of any kind. If you cannot take the torture of not being loved, you're in for a rude awakening, if you cannot take the disappointment of not getting or finding love, then you will be completely broken if someone breaks your heart and damages you in love or abruptly abandons you after years of emotional attachment, you'll completely fall apart and be in absolute shambles. You won't be able to deal with the pain, frustration and struggle of a damaging destructive relationship. What's the point of all this other than endless cycles of emotional damage and years of unhealing, uphill battles that countless single parents, warring couples, divorced partners, separated lovers have to go through and they barely scratch by everyday. They not only suffer loneliness and emptiness, lack of love but the added burdens of their past mistakes of bad relationships, toxic partners, sometimes legal issues, endless drama, mistakes and wrong partners they chose that now come to bite them and they not only come to regret them but also have to pay for the repercussions and consequences of these precious mistakes. Put yourself in their shoes and think for a second. Most likely love will not look so beautiful then. You're a dream chaser. You're looking at it with rose tinted glasses. Love is not easy and is often painful and distrustful and hopeless. It only looks nice when you want it. Not when you actually have it. It's like a mountain, looks nice from a distance, yet climbing it will make you bored and stressed. A healthy relationship is worth the hard work yet you can't be sure of its expiry. Then everything you put in is wasted. All effort, time, resources, emotional cost wasted. Love is the single biggest cause of despair in the world. It makes us crazy and excited yet it comes at a huge cost. If you turn your life into a mathematical equation of summation of costs and benefits, you'll benefit more that way. Apply mathematics to love. Right now the math is that you're not in love so thinking about it is "zero" benefit.

I was in a hurry and drew a snake during snake festival. That's my artistic skill. Didn't have time to draw Leo.. Just imagine Leo as a snake in the meantime.

I see. Peace.

Of course women come in all shapes and sizes and character. I did not generalize women at all. I never said all women. But you have to see the context in which it's written. It was a reply to a woman here who felt the need to explain herself and linguistically speaking, that's how it's said because the comment wasn't directed at her, so I had to set it apart by saying "a lot of women," which means "women other than you," if English is your first language, you'd have probably understood that, or I guess you just didn't care to read the entire context.

Explain.

The moment a woman starts with a twang, avoid them.

Why do you want those women? It reflects poor on you.

The best example A whole list of Karens.

You seem to be cool from the nature of your posts. But a lot of women can be toxic, mean. You'd know if you have bumped into them. The Karen kind.

I find that women who smile a lot and don't act bitchy are usually the ones who a guy can have an easy time with. It's all about vibe and energy. Connection is the key. A deeply interested woman will flirt, drop some signs. If a woman is acting "dry" don't even bother to lead her. She is mostly going to be a pain in the ass with time.

He was always a fool.

Don't quit your job.

If he doesn't respect your basic boundaries, he will most likely never forge a healthy bond with you. This is bad for you. Give it up. In the same space and time you can find someone healthy.

You act as though everyone is up for discrimination.

Mind boggling.

Can I have a kiss? To avoid unnecessary trouble.