Whitney Edwards

Thank you for that post.

Had coffee. Had nightmares about my ex. Don't know why that happened.

Birds are humans too.

Great step. Watches happily as you write.

Just don't take nonsense from others.

Yea. You can practice mindfulness throughout the day. Whereas you can plan 1 hour time for meditation everyday. If you are a beginner with meditation, I would suggest this video.

Just returned back home from Zumba class. Feels better. I might nap because I'm exhausted from the dance routine.

(Last night I ate cake) I woke up a few minutes ago. Like 20 minutes. I didn't get enough sleep. And I need to attend my Zumba class. My husband is still asleep.

Chatgpt has helped me a lot in recent days..... Let's see what it comes up with. These days I love talking to chatgpt .............................. Nightmares can result from a variety of physical, psychological, and external factors. Here are some common reasons why you might experience nightmares: ### 1. **Stress and Anxiety** - Stressful life events, anxiety, or unresolved fears can manifest in your dreams as nightmares. - Worries about work, relationships, or personal challenges may trigger them. ### 2. **Trauma** - Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or other past traumatic experiences can lead to recurring nightmares as your mind processes these events. ### 3. **Sleep Disorders** - Conditions like insomnia, sleep apnea, or REM sleep behavior disorder can contribute to nightmares. ### 4. **Medications and Substances** - Certain medications, including antidepressants, blood pressure drugs, or withdrawal from substances, can induce nightmares. - Alcohol or drug use, particularly before bedtime, may disrupt sleep patterns and lead to disturbing dreams. ### 5. **Diet** - Eating heavy meals or certain foods close to bedtime can stimulate brain activity during sleep, increasing the likelihood of vivid dreams or nightmares. ### 6. **Illness or Fever** - High fever or sickness can lead to vivid or unsettling dreams as your body fights off infection. ### 7. **Imagination or Media Consumption** - Watching horror movies, reading scary stories, or consuming distressing news can influence your dreams. ### 8. **Irregular Sleep Patterns** - Poor sleep hygiene, irregular sleep schedules, or a lack of sufficient rest can disrupt your sleep cycle and lead to nightmares. ### What You Can Do: - **Practice Stress Management:** Meditation, therapy, or relaxation exercises can help reduce stress and anxiety. - **Improve Sleep Hygiene:** Establish a consistent sleep routine, create a relaxing bedtime environment, and avoid stimulants before bed. - **Limit Media Consumption:** Avoid disturbing or frightening content before sleeping. - **Seek Professional Help:** If nightmares are frequent and interfere with your well-being, consider consulting a therapist or sleep specialist. Would you like specific strategies to address this or help identifying potential causes in your case? .......................... Nightmares can be caused by a variety of factors, including: 1. **Stress and Anxiety**: High levels of stress or anxiety can lead to disturbing dreams, especially if you're experiencing significant life changes or challenges. 2. **Trauma**: Experiencing trauma can result in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which often includes nightmares related to the traumatic event. 3. **Sleep Disorders**: Conditions like insomnia or sleep apnea can disrupt normal sleep patterns and lead to nightmares. 4. **Medications**: Certain medications, particularly those that affect the brain, can increase the frequency of nightmares. 5. **Substance Use**: Alcohol, drugs, or withdrawal from substances can also trigger nightmares. 6. **Diet**: Eating certain foods before bed, especially those that are spicy or heavy, may impact your sleep quality and lead to nightmares. 7. **Illness or Fever**: Physical illness or fever can affect sleep and contribute to nightmares. 8. **Dream Themes**: Recurring themes or motifs in dreams can stem from unresolved fears or anxieties in waking life. If nightmares are frequent or particularly distressing, it might be helpful to talk to a healthcare professional for further evaluation and support. ......................... Last night I spent looking at affordable chat gpt. Let's see.. I'm still looking at really good chatgpt options that gives me highly polished non generic intuitive answers..

I want to know how I can use ChatGPT to improve my life.

I ate healthy today. Right now I have the craving to drink coconut water. But I might not. I'll wait till tomorrow. But I still got cravings.

Hopefully I don't wake up tomorrow to some horror show.

My journal is my only non-judgmental space I get to enjoy.

January 16, Thursday, 2025 It's too late right now and my goals for today were achieved. I'm happy. Today I vented a lot to my husband and I'm glad he was a patient listener. He understands me. He is my gift. I'm happy to have him. I'll sleep now. Because it's too late. I stayed up a bit late. I also wrote a lot of insights in my journal that will hopefully help in my recovery and in understanding myself better. I dealt with some of the issues that were discussed in the mental health section and I am extremely glad that I opened up about it and did psychoanalysis on my own self. That is brilliant. I need to psychoanalyse myself like that everyday and become my own therapist. That will be my next goal.

Memory loss must feel painful. Sometimes I wonder if my mother will develop dementia. She forgets a lot these days.

January 16, Thursday, 2025 Won in Tokyo. After a long time.

What I find valuable is slowly moderating it rather than completely going cold turkey. I have that fear of missing out.

(no chatgpt used) It depends largely on how much importance you place on his opinions about you. It also depends on how you place him socially in relation to you or how he is placed by the human social system in relation to you. Is he in a higher position financially, socially or hierarchy-wise in relation to you? Does he have more friends than you do or a wider social circle? Does he have community influence? Do you feel insecure around him in regard to your self image? Do you feel like he will make you look bad in front of others? As in he might say something nasty about you and others might believe it? Do you feel like his insults are somewhat true or have validity to them? Your problems are both external and internal. By psychoanalyzing your post (although more context would have been better), I'm concluding that you are having these issues — 1. Low self confidence. You inherently don't feel super good about yourself. Maybe there's a dip in your confidence levels. You don't feel super duper confident even though subconsciously you would like to. 2. You overthink other's opinions. You are putting in too much value into what this person thinks or says to you. It either hurts your dignity/self respect or you give too much value/validation to it. 3. You subconsciously believe it (his insults) to be true. This may or may not be true. This could purely be my assumption. If you believe them to be true, for example, someone might consider themselves to be fat because they were fat shamed. In this case you'll need to determine if his opinion or insult is shaping your self image in your mind. If he is being constructively critical of you, then it's okay for you to explore it. Since he is insulting you, you should not believe it to be true at all. It will impact your self esteem. This process is called internalization where our mind tends to internalize what the other person is saying and actually begin to believe them. It's very harmful. 4. You feel like fighting it off - you are probably attached to your self image that any insult becomes a threat to your inner self image. Then you feel an intense urge to fight it or resist. This is okay. The feeling is completely valid although not useful as it will take away your inner peace. It will bolster the bully as they can see that you give them attention and they relish in you fighting back. Fighting and resisting it is okay too if that makes you feel like you are standing your ground. But if you're ruminating over it constantly, then it's already eating your peace of mind. Now external problems — 1. You could be in a unhealthy environment where this person is being extremely toxic to you from time to time, triggering you on purpose and it would be safer to simply remove yourself from their vicinity if it's too much of a headache. This is not your internal problem but something that could happen to anyone with healthy self esteem and the abuse should not be tolerated. This might mean that his bad behavior is really crossing the limit and it's best to not engage with his harmful conduct. This might happen where despite trying your best to keep your internal locus of control and inner peace, it still bothers you. Here the problem is external and your inner mindset didn't play a part in making you feel worse. It's overly toxic and you are better off without that environment. 2. These incidents have happened to you in the past and they are probably happening again and causing you stress. Or they are just something you're always sensitive to and you operate healthier, optimal and better when such things don't exist. In which case, they are best avoided and you shouldn't think that something internal is hindering you. Just avoid people who act like jerks. 3. Higher position - if this person is at a higher position socially then you, then it's completely valid for you to feel bad about yourself after hearing their insults. The human mind naturally places more value on someone's opinion if that someone is considered more important socially. In this case too, you simply try not to validate their insult or let it impact. They are not important and they shouldn't have an influence on you. Try to not give them power from your side and stand your ground internally although this is a bit tougher to do when the person is in an authority position. For example if someone random insults me I wouldn't feel as much bad as I would if my own mother insults me, since I view her as more important than others. Hope it helps.

(no chatgpt used in writing this post) It depends largely on how much importance you place on his opinions about you. It also depends on how you place him socially in relation to you or how he is placed by the human social system in relation to you. Is he in a higher position financially, socially or hierarchy-wise in relation to you? Does he have more friends than you do or a wider social circle? Does he have community influence? Do you feel insecure around him in regard to your self image? Do you feel like he will make you look bad in front of others? As in he might say something nasty about you and others might believe it? Do you feel like his insults are somewhat true or have validity to them? Your problems are both external and internal. By psychoanalyzing your post (although more context would have been better), I'm concluding that you are having these issues — 1. Low self confidence. You inherently don't feel super good about yourself. Maybe there's a dip in your confidence levels. You don't feel super duper confident even though subconsciously you would like to. 2. You overthink other's opinions. You are putting in too much value into what this person thinks or says to you. It either hurts your dignity/self respect or you give too much value/validation to it. 3. You subconsciously believe it (his insults) to be true. This may or may not be true. This could purely be my assumption. If you believe them to be true, for example, someone might consider themselves to be fat because they were fat shamed. In this case you'll need to determine if his opinion or insult is shaping your self image in your mind. If he is being constructively critical of you, then it's okay for you to explore it. Since he is insulting you, you should not believe it to be true at all. It will impact your self esteem. This process is called internalization where our mind tends to internalize what the other person is saying and actually begin to believe them. It's very harmful. 4. You feel like fighting it off - you are probably attached to your self image that any insult becomes a threat to your inner self image. Then you feel an intense urge to fight it or resist. This is okay. The feeling is completely valid although not useful as it will take away your inner peace. It will bolster the bully as they can see that you give them attention and they relish in you fighting back. Fighting and resisting it is okay too if that makes you feel like you are standing your ground. But if you're ruminating over it constantly, then it's already eating your peace of mind. Now external problems — 1. You could be in a unhealthy environment where this person is being extremely toxic to you from time to time, triggering you on purpose and it would be safer to simply remove yourself from their vicinity if it's too much of a headache. This is not your internal problem but something that could happen to anyone with healthy self esteem and the abuse should not be tolerated. This might mean that his bad behavior is really crossing the limit and it's best to not engage with his harmful conduct. This might happen where despite trying your best to keep your internal locus of control and inner peace, it still bothers you. Here the problem is external and your inner mindset didn't play a part in making you feel worse. It's overly toxic and you are better off without that environment. 2. These incidents have happened to you in the past and they are probably happening again and causing you stress. Or they are just something you're always sensitive to and you operate healthier, optimal and better when such things don't exist. In which case, they are best avoided and you shouldn't think that something internal is hindering you. Just avoid people who act like jerks. 3. Higher position - if this person is at a higher position socially then you, then it's completely valid for you to feel bad about yourself after hearing their insults. The human mind naturally places more value on someone's opinion if that someone is considered more important socially. In this case too, you simply try not to validate their insult or let it impact. They are not important and they shouldn't have an influence on you. Try to not give them power from your side and stand your ground internally although this is a bit tougher to do when the person is in an authority position. For example if someone random insults me I wouldn't feel as much bad as I would if my own mother insults me, since I view her as more important than others. Hope it helps.

Ordered 5 coconuts and they delivered it to my door. (Reached home finally. Omg so exhausted.) On the way there was too much traffic that I had to drive through. Coconuts are my lifesaver. I'm so dehydrated right now. I need to eat something before I go to bed. Today's work and goal is completed. Phew. Enjoys a reward. Tomorrow I have Zumba class, hope I won't forget. I haven't paid the bill yet. Reminds myself to pay it later. I also need to book my doctor's appointment. I'll be getting my passport next week.

January 16, Thursday, 2025 Work completed at the police station. Now I'm on my way home.