Whitney Edwards

Some of my art work.

Some of my art work.

Some of my art work

Took a character test. https://www.viacharacter.org/ And these are the results of my test - MY SIGNATURE STRENGTHS 1 Love (HUMANITY) Valuing close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing & caring are reciprocated; being close to people. 2 Creativity (WISDOM) Thinking of novel and productive ways to conceptualize and do things; includes artistic achievement but is not limited to it. 3 Fairness ( JUSTICE) Treating all people the same according to notions of fairness and justice; not letting feelings bias decisions about others; giving everyone a fair chance. 4 Curiosity (WISDOM) Taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and topics fascinating; exploring and discovering. 5 Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence (TRANSCENDENCE) Noticing and appreciating beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in various domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience. Her personality is so much like me. Her name is Shea Whitney.

Balance is the key. I want to be with people who value me. Who will never disappoint me. Not perfect. But considerate enough to understand my needs. Yea I was chilling and watching YouTube. Beauty community lol. Too much drama. James Charles. Jeffree Star. I remember back when I followed them.. Unintelligible bs. You know sometimes karma just catches up with you. You know when you got all the fame, wealth and success in the world and you don't know what to spend your money on, then you graduallly turn into a miserable old hag, with all the makeup peeling off your face, the botox kinda popping up (think of Putin), the clothes getting outrageous and tacky, the language more vulgar, the eyes getting smaller, the eyebrows disappearing and getting replaced by long overdrawn pencil lines, the lips looking oddly shaped, all that plastic surgery showing your mistakes you made in your youth, and then all the silicone popping up, and you holding on to your baubles, your empire crumbling, the megalomania, you buying the latest trendy stuff to appear relevant meanwhile you been irrelevant since years now, and you don't really have peace of mind, the failure of your business driving you crazy, you drinking heavily every night and partying as a cope and then spending money on shallow stuff. I mean some people need their karma to realize that no amount of fame and money will ever bring true peace of mind. It's an illusion I mean on the flip side, I want to grow and find new avenues of growth, I want to continue to make positive changes to my life, I want to keep succeeding in my life in my own ways and find new opportunities and new ideas and creativity and experience and learning and real growth. God doesn't prey on your insecurities. God doesn't prey on your flaws. God doesn't judge you God understands your mistakes What's masculine and what's feminine? Masculine is bold, brave, leader, fearless - holding someone accountable. Confrontational. Making someone realize what wrong they are doing. Bashing. Not punishing. Using anger productively. - ownership of one's mistakes. Taking accountability. - being very authentic and honest. Not afraid of being honest. Not afraid of being authentic - being abundant in providing. Not afraid - being bold on their word. Feminine - being able to keep everyone happy - being able to show understanding, empathy, compassion. Analytical. - being able to show hope and positivity and provide comfort during someone's crisis. - being vulnerable about one's weaknesses. Being able to cry. Think masculine all the time A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. What if a thing shuts down? What would you have done then? Do we die if we don't have a phone? Make good of whatever you have. Rather than chasing what you don't. Focus on LOA, you'll get what you want one way or another. Even if you don't get something, the door is shut, another door opens. Even if you don't get something, it's okay. God is the ultimate masculine provider. Remember stage blue values. We think that that things are essential. But shouldn't God give us the things that are truly essential to us? A narcissist will always market himself as a true trophy. It's like a girl who is trying to play hard to get. The feeling that people are chasing the narcissist is particularly important to him. Yet what he is offering is hardly of any great value and it's perceived value dissipates in the drama and mayhem that he generates to give the image of the perceived value. The narcissist likes to believe that they are offering something of great value because that's how they legitimize themselves. They come from deep insecurity. I don't know why I'm loving Marilyn Monroe so much. She has become my new inspiration. Regarding communication. I also don't want to talk to people who don't want to keep any goodwill with me. It's not necessary that someone needs to be my friend. But I'm always stuck in situations where I'm trying to resolve (all it needs is some talk),but the other person isn't interested in resolving things. Then fine. Go your way. I don't need to talk either. Once I know that I'm apologizing to someone (mostly because they started some mess), I realize that I can never have long term peace with such people. Then it's done. What are the 5 big things that I want in life Peace of mind Healing Love Freedom Stability and Security

One positive affirmation statement. There's peace in my heart. I want to be with people who value me. Who will never disappoint me. Not perfect. But considerate enough to understand my needs. I was thinking about being mega rich and starting my own brand . I would have named it Burlase Organics.

We need good things in life to feel good. I don't know maybe I'm a bit materialistic but that's okay. Like Leo says burn your karma first. First i need to start with music. I want to make a morning activation playlist that gets me ready for the day. Jumpstart ready. And then some healing music. I want to add some happy vibe music too. And then some Shaktipat vibration kundalini music followed by meditation music. I want to align my energy to the highest goodwill and to the highest peace. As well a good mood. I want my aura and vibration to be healed. My goals Work on borderline personality disorder Work on autism Farm work Shaktipat Kundalini energy work Mental health improvement INFJ personality Sigma characteristics Law of attraction Manifestation Bryon Katie work Emotional healing Focus on getting my health on track Prepare for my exams and tests Cultivate a beautiful relationship with my husband. Heal my sexual repression Become a Tarot reader or pursue as a hobby Tenets of Hinduism. I need people with 7 qualities in my life. People who understand me people who know how to trust me people who show me maturity people who are competent people who know how to exactly handle me people who are totally fair and not biased Healthy, honest, non judgemental, direct, confrontational and extremely loving, courageous, protective, matured, forgiving and extremely competent. I have to remember to empower myself. I don't know where the next leg of my journey is going to take me. . I have to live. I have to nurture myself. I learned some lessons. In fact I learned a lot of lessons. I feel like I am growing up really fast. This has always been the case. I'd love to live in this room lol. I understand that life is best played in a collaborative, non-zero-sum manner, and I will strive to enrich and empower others through careful logical considerations and my own authentic heartfelt moral compass. Furthermore, I am open to exploring and understanding consciousness through meditation, kriya yoga, and psychedelics, as I believe this will help me to become a more compassionate and empathetic person. If they're like a worm in your mind, you gotta surgically remove that worm. It's just not worth the hell that it brings your life. I like the word "emptying work" for this -- it's letting go. https://www.nothingcon.com/ Focus on the beautiful and the positive. When there are so many beautiful and positive things, why focus on the negative. And people who are negative to others, really what kind of people are they anyway - either immature, aggressive, narcissistic or just with nothing better to do. Probably jealous or just people who are never taught to be nice. Remember decent people (not necessarily good hearted, at least they possess social calibration and know how to respond, bad or good is a different ballgame) will never act like this. In reality however, people who act like assholes online can be helpful or genuine. Not everyone who lacks social calibration is bad hearted.. Don't be carried away and deluded by sweet words. First way to control impulsivity is to re-read your own post 3 times before posting. Do that. I have to remind myself that I have BPD and I'm autistic. I'm sick and tired of all the judgement. Why do I justify myself so much to people? Why don't I feel truly confident in myself? I think if I develop confidence then I will not need to constantly please others or justify myself. I need to be able to say a hard no. Like fuck it. "whatever you want, I don't care" mentality because I have zero obligation and those who wanna stay, they won't keep blaming, it's another thing if someone is genuinely upset with me and it's totally my fault. But otherwise. Why does it matter if someone thinks bad about me? When you have low self esteem a lot of things can get screwed up. There is some sort of comfort in rejection. There's empowerment in rejection You tend to engage in self blaming when people gaslight you. It's a potent form of cultish psychological abuse. But when you reject on your own, you're no longer seeking validation in a parasocial relationship. You deny it. You deny its usefulness. When you reject something, you no longer feel bad, low, humiliated, discarded or guilty. It's up to you to reject something that is never meant for you. Don't give so much power to others that you begin to lose your own power. One thing that I have realized is that I'm not exactly low IQ (or I might be) but I'm certainly not very wise. And my mental illness tends to complicate my lack of wisdom. Also, my autism might be a major contributing factor. Dismiss what doesn't belong to you. Appreciate whatever comes.

Journal Entry Monday August 12 Feeling exhausted a bit. Still thinking how I should arrange my planner. I have a test in 2 months for which I need to prepare. I need to take better care of myself. I spend a lot of my time in unnecessary stuff. My spiritual stuff is still pending. My tarot cards are on the way. Things are looking better. I don't feel suicidal anymore the way I used to sometimes. My mental health is not improving rapidly and that's frustrating. But still I'm taking baby steps. I want stability and security. And a sense of self that is firm. I'm an INFJ pisces female. I have mental health issues that I need to work on. The only thing I shopped for was tarot cards. They fascinate me.

I don't know if there are hidden advantages to being a conformist. If you're a conformist you can be an excellent corporate climber.

Strange.

Dogs can have extra sensory perception.

Have you considered reaching out to a support group for caregivers? It can be incredibly helpful to connect with others going through similar experiences. You can find them if you contact a local psychiatrist. Your situation seems tough but acceptance is the key.

Have you personally experienced it at any point?

The question is not about the population. It's about the crime rate. If you're interested listen to Tommy Robinson.

You forget that Israel is capable of nuclear war.

Its impossible to get rid of Survival when you are already surviving.

So what if you catch can infection or a wound and need dressing or a vaccine, anything that needs to be administered?

What's the difference between an enlightened state and a state of apathy?

Are you sure about this? Then I think you should listen to Tommy Robinson.

And what if you had a medical problem? Where's your doctor at?

Wouldn't it be discriminatory to weed out people on the basis of IQ?