Buck Edwards

I want more beauty hacks.

I want to follow beautiful skin care routines and beauty and Makeup routines so that I always look beautiful. I love it. Makeup also works as therapy for me.

Surrounding myself with all things feminine.

How to use extensions?

Do you know how to use it?

And they still won't change.

I'm now entering into the coldest darkest super isolated insulated phase of my life. I've never felt such hate and repulsion for the world as I do now. Growing up I was a very social person, I had a cute demeanor, people used to love me, people still love me, I was everyone's joy, the life of the party, the funny cute girl who spreads only and happiness. As time went by, things started to gradually change. I remember during my early days in school, how people would make fun of me, the bullying, how the guys would say sexual jokes or take whatever I did as sexual and use it as an opportunity to misbehave, I began to change, I stopped seeing men as emotional creatures capable of sensitivity, one guy spoke about how he loved killing animals, this is where my entire definition of men began to gradually change. I realized that I was in the wrong crowd. I was this super funny decent person sandwiched among sleazy perverted toxic men only wanting something sexual from me and not in a good way, I'd have described most of these men as abusers, the stuff they used to say was very repulsive. I began to act broody around them, feeling terribly lonely, isolating myself. I would keep to myself never talking to these guys because I found them to be very cold hearted and extremely harsh. I stopped joking with them. Because the stuff they would talk about was dark and serious. They had dark fantasies. Sociopathic fantasies. Some girls tried to be friendly with them to get their attention. But I wasn't going to be one of these girls. I didn't want any form of male attention and not at least from such men. I wasn't going to bend over backwards and compromise my integrity and principles to be with such men. It looked terribly awful and toxic to me. And here I am, feeling the same way once again(roll eyes) .feeling desperate, lonely, miserable, outcast, at odds with the world around me, not wanting to fit in with such a crowd, it's the same version of me again who finds this world depraved and chaotic, trying to find happiness within, wanting the whole drama to stop, looking around and seeing the same kind of toxic people, the kind of people who love drama and gore, the kind of people who lick each other's asses to get along, the kind of people who only want things in life but have no moral integrity,who can never match me, who look down on values of empathy, who are never go to be around or rub shoulders with, who like their own animalistic games and call others generic. Who have depraved intentions and Jealousy that they cannot control. Who play mind games and betray you at the drop of a dime. I just wanna distance myself from such people because I don't belong there.. I belong to a deep dark isolated insulated shell of my own. That I don't plan to ever come out of. I simply want to talk to those who can relate to me. I only want to talk to those who truly understand me and won't play games with me. Who are loyal and keep their word. Who understand my sensitivities and not take advantage of my vulnerabilities. Who I can be a truly loyal friend to and who I can always depend on. A companion. People who I will talk to from my insulated shell because they would deserve my time. They would win my affection. They wouldn't violate my boundaries.

I don't even know how to use an extension.

Yea it's not the end of the world.

I want to connect deeper with my Femininity. It just feels right. I want to explore intimacy. Explore everything. Everything that is beautiful in the feminine perspective.

Nothing matters more than your physical and mental state.

There's always something positive in everything. Maybe it was meant to be. The universe always has your back. Why not be grateful for what you already have. Maybe it's a blessing. Maybe I can pray that something negative be turned into something positive. The mess didn't sort itself out. And that's okay. You'll always find a way out of everything and anything.

Maybe it's a blessing.

This is a great channel for trauma work.

I don't know how she does that but she does an excellent job.

Cuteness overload yay.

I want to dig deeper and deeper into my Femininity.

I love cute dresses.

I just love this girl. She can be my girl gang bestie. She has this personality that's similar to mine. Go girl