Buck Edwards

Reminds me of this.

A conscious woman won't be able to tolerate them for too long. She will be with him for some time and then get tired of his abuse and move on. These women often have their own traumas and issues because of which they stay with that sort of men. It's an abusive dynamic mostly. Why would you care to use them as examples? Even Bill Gates has a wife. Former president Barack Obama has a wife. Why not use better role models? There are so many good men out there with a wholesome personality and they have a wife and a long marriage. Why aren't these good examples to you? I was once in a relationship where the guy wanted to choke me. The relationship ended. It's just like that. These relationships aren't ideal or hopeful or romantic. Easy come easy go. She will marry the criminal then face a boatful of problems and find a way to escape. It never ends well. You can watch Ted Bundys ex girlfriend episode on YouTube and the stress she went through. He even had a daughter. It's quite complicated actually. I used to fantasize that I'll be perfectly okay with an abuser as long as I please him. This is just fantasy. In reality the consequences are quite ugly. And most women find some way to run away in the end. There is an allure with bad boys - the protection allure - the feeling that "he can protect me because he is so tough he takes care of the baddies on the street"... The problem is that the guy who appears so tough to other people can one day direct the same violence to his wife or girlfriend. Women want the protection part but they forget that this is an unconscious drive in men. If he can kill someone else, he can kill you too. It's like sleeping with a crocodile. Feels good that he is strong enough to protect until you're his prey. In real life it's not good being around that type of masculine energy. I have been there., this rude abusive asshole that I spent my time with and he used to threaten to kill me multiple times. I thought he would change — another fantasy of mine. Eventually I dumped him and got sick of his ways. He was handsome and cute and he knew game, he would get a new woman anytime a woman dumped him. How long does it last? They keep building and raking up their rap sheet. I pity him because he is doing much worse now. He never wanted to put in the work to improve himself. I moved on, found a wonderful husband and I'm happy. It happens because I was a bit immature at the time. But it doesn't ring a ding ding anymore for me. I can never be attracted to someone like that anymore. I sort of outgrew that. It was a whim, a fancy, a phase. Wanted to feel coddled by him even though he was a bad boy. It was an allure a misadventure. But I got tired of it. You'll see that some of these men are handsome. They got looks going for them. Then they have this toughness which is not real. It's like how some women attract with fake eyelashes and fake boobs. That sort of thing. These men have a fake tough persona they put on to attract women. Immature women fall for it and then fall out of it as well. That fake tough guy persona is bullshit. It's nice for some time and quite attractive and alluring but it rapidly unravels into a joke as reality sinks in. It's the best example of click bait. Fake promotion. So when real life challenges come up, these guys are the first ones to bail out. That's when the woman is confronted with the reality of her bad choice and she has to make a decision to move on.

Foam earplugs don't work for me. Extremely uncomfortable. Keep ears blocked.

I turn on the fan at the highest speed to increase white noise. But this increases the electric bill. Yet it's an effective option to block noise. Thankfully I have very decent neighbors, no noise. I also have noise canceling glass so I can't hear what they do.

How is AI different from the human mind/human intelligence?

Well that's about power dynamics. Even men don't tolerate very bossy masculine type of women for years. We always have to be demure and soft to appeal to men. I guess it goes both ways. Vulnerability in men is frowned upon, strength in women is frowned upon.

Yep

I never ran into that kind of a guy. I mostly dated dominant men because they were more interesting. It's the leadership quality in a guy that attracts me because I get to learn something from him. Also I crave this feeling of belongingness. That's how I found my husband. He gives me that containment. If a man feels weak, I don't try to judge him, in fact I try to offer him space to cry out his feelings. Men often have their vulnerable side suppressed by social factors. He should have someone to cry too. I usually offer him space and comfort to open up his feelings without judgement. I think because of this suppression, men don't connect very easily with their own emotions and that's what leads to the nice guy syndrome in the first place. But if a man can break out of that suppression, he can learn to express himself more fully and openly. If a guy feels that he is infantile or incompetent, that's probably a self confidence issue and that only gets better when he improves his overall self esteem.

What is True masculinity hinged on then?

A guy can also be truly authentic and kind. That is also a nice guy, I mean not a stereotypical nice guy but a "good guy." One who has his boundaries very clearly laid out, his masculinity balanced, likes to be honest and knows his integrity. He is clean cut so he doesn't bend his rules to please anyone and doesn't compromise on his integrity to appear tough.

Can this destructive force be tamed and transmuted into achieving impossible or difficult things in life?

@CARDOZZO What masculine trait helps you to get over this fear? Do you think that a nice guy can exist who does not fear anything?

If I used a guy for sex, it's a lack of integrity on my part. I have never done that. I mostly had serious relationships. Long term relationships and some short term. But being conscious doesn't mean we can't have a bit of fun. A woman can of course engage in casual sex if she wants to. Personally I'm not too interested in that. I like solid relationships. My point wasn't about casual sex. My only point is/was that attraction is very much biological unless you're doing a lot of emotional and cognitive work to improve your dating life. But organically, it's mostly ruled by our hormones and instincts. And just like we can't control male instinct, we can't tame female instinct either. Women especially when they are horny (irrespective of age) will sleep with men they're genuinely attracted to. If they want to be conscious about it, obviously they can. Yet genuine attraction isn't regulated by any set rule. It's very unconscious in its process. A woman is turned on by a guy or not, this is similar to how men operate as well.

@CARDOZZO (just taking your permission beforehand) Can I use some of your journal entries for a post?

I liked this explanation.

Me too.

@CARDOZZO ow wow. That's a great share. Thank you.

Yes. I completely agree with this. This is exactly how I wanted to frame it. Maybe I wasn't nuanced enough but you put it perfectly and clearly.

Sure. I wanted to say that the argument can sway in both directions depending on what people think. Some people think that gender is a social construct. This is one camp. They believe that gender is a myth. Yet another camp believes that gender is not a myth and that there are definite differences between male and female rooted in biology. Personally I favor the second camp more.

This is a very good question. However. I don't have a definitive answer to this question. I think the answer to it will lie somewhere between abstract and concreteness. One can argue that gender is a myth and a product of social construct or one can say that there are definite biological differences. It's like one of those questions where we ask "is philosophy or religion really necessary in life?" or if "does IQ really measure intelligence?" Nothing is too fundamental and or absolute about this topic. The notion of masculinity itself is very mushy and muddled with configurations, stereotypes and certain biological attributes, social dynamics across cultures have a played a fair role in shaping our ideas about masculinity. But I would like to know what men themselves think of it.

And I forgot to mention I-pill. It's fool-proof, all my gals around me using it for years and none got pregnant. We women take care if we're responsible.

It happens rarely. Never happened with my friends. I know them long enough and all of them use condoms. Contraceptives are much better and safer these days if used properly. So no worries at all.

true

I really liked this article but it would be very tough to do for most men I guess, I don't know you tell me. The article is titled — How To Be More Masculine and Manly in a Hyper Feminine World https://www.knowledgeformen.com/how-to-be-more-masculine/

I liked your definition, very congruent with strong leadership based masculinity.