enzyme

I admit I have an addiction to past memories that were harmful and traumatizing since they keep replaying in my head at least a few times per day, but I'm aware it stems from the ego, working on minimizing it as best I can.

I'd recommend doing a low dose on mushrooms if you can get your hands on some. Speaking from personal experience a low dose was pivotal for me to overcome the depressive fog I was living under for a long time. Assuming of course you've done research on what potential effects you can feel and just go into it with an open mind.

Caffeine is the only thing I really need to feel upright. One or two cups of coffee a day is enough for me although I've made attempts before to ditch it completely.

If evading the places themselves is out of the question then there's not too much you can do. I grew up with second hand smoke for a long time and I never noticed myself feeling any worse off, personally.

Since last month I've been traveling to the city in my area during the weekend with the intention to approach anyone I found attractive or someone I'd maybe just be interested in getting to know. I'd mostly walk around the mall area and stop by all the quirky/nerd places like the manga stores and hot topic. Most of the time if I saw a girl I liked the look of she'd be with some friends. I guess if I was super desperate I could've approached regardless and just spoke to them as a group. There were only a couple of instances where I could've approached someone but I got too passive and just walked on. The first time was when I noticed a girl making direct eye contact with me and smiling as I walked by - got the impression she just liked the look of me - but I only smiled back and just kept moving. I was kinda bummed at myself afterwards for not stopping to say hi even though it didn't cross me at the time. The second time was when I noticed a girl lighting a cigarette. I got the inkling to approach and ask if she had a spare I could take. I don't consider myself a smoker - I've never bought a pack, only ever smoked when I got handed a cig - figured it was just a good opener I could've used. I wussed out though which I beat myself up for but in hindsight smoking a cig would've been pretty yucky anyways. After a certain point I noticed myself only doing game during the daytime. One day I decided to stay out until it was night and hit one of the bars followed by this popular alt/metal club afterwards. I didn't get a hotel room; they were too expensive. I decided I would just hang around for a couple hours after the club closed until my train home arrived. I didn't drink alcohol since I've been out the door with it for a while and I knew it would make me kinda sloppy. I was just hanging out the smoking area for a while. I kept my body language open and I was just enjoying being there more than anything. I decided not to put any pressure on myself. Eventually there was a girl who came by and said she liked my jacket (I wore my leather one with some patches I sewn onto it, a trans patch and a Nirvana pog). She invited me to come over with her other friends and I got introduced to some of them. She brought her other friend out with her who was also new to the place and didn't get out much so it helped that we were both on the same boat. To summarize the rest of the night it was meeting and talking to plenty of other people and I eventually got to kissing her and got her number (her friend's too). I'm still a newbie but if there's pointers I can give from these experiences it would be these: It can be very easy to beat yourself up over missing approaches or having an approach turn out awkward and not working. As shitty as it feels it's also shitty to be sitting alone back home and feeling sorry for yourself. So from that perspective I didn't feel as vulnerable walking up to people at the risk of being rejected anymore. There's not really anything perfect you can say to open. It helps if you say something relevant to the setting you're currently in e.g. if you're in a library or comic store, you could ask him/her if anything catches their eye. Mention you're looking to try out a new series of a comic or manga. Ask if they like anime. D they like this particular author or this particular artist. There's all these different strands you can flow through that there's no right or wrong thing to say as long as it's relevant somehow. If you're doing it during the day, consider giving it a go during the night time as well. Even if you don't like bars or clubs. You don't need to drink or smoke. Generally speaking people who are out drinking are gonna be more receptive to someone approaching them since the alcohol's made them let loose. Have compassion for yourself but don't let yourself get too comfortable either. It can honestly feel like you're about to cry sometimes because of the overwhelming sense of loneliness and rejection. You can take pride in yourself for having an approach not working out. At least you approached. 90% of people simply don't have the balls to approach directly. You'll feel so much better about yourself when you're back home knowing that you actually took a shot at it. And if an awkward situation happens again it's not gonna faze you as much anymore.

I'm a newbie but I took 2g of shrooms about 3 weeks after my first ever dose at 1g and it came on way too strong for my liking. To summarize the whole experience it was basically 10 hours of having a huge headache, nausea and not enjoying it whatsoever.

Last time I was in the city roaming around and hitting some shops I had an inkling to try cold approach if I saw someone I found attractive. There were a few girls but the issue was that I felt the actual physical approach would've been too jarring (noticed this one girl but she was behind me on the escalator, didn't want to turn around 180 and approach her that way, circled around the store to look at some stuff then returned to see if she was still there). Another similar situation was in the food court. Saw a girl sitting alone. Brain told me to approach but there were tons of people walking by and it was overall just noisy as hell. Maybe I could've used that as an opener if I brute forced it haha ("boy it's LOUD in here right?"). But all this made me wonder if there is such a thing as an approach that's just gonna seem total forced and awkward? Or is it mostly just mental?

Even writing down something small every day can have a huge benefit. I went back through some old pages I wrote and there was an entry I wrote where I just enjoyed a cup of coffee. Not sure what it is but remembering particular moments you enjoyed something small is awesome.

There's no shame in taking prescription medication to alleviate heavy depressive/anxious symptoms. My personal word of caution would just be to treat them as temporary. It can be a pain in the ass to come off them the longer you've taken them.

There's always the swiss lace replacement system some salon's do if you would prefer something non-invasive. It's way cheaper than FUT hair transplants. And yeah screw finasteride.

Some addictions last longer than others but assuming it's porn/masturbation you're addicted to you could set some goals for yourself to make you feel more accomplished and happy about yourself. Could you lose weight? Could you make your physique look any better? Do you feel fulfilled enough in your social/sex life? While it's true most supermarket foods are laced with pesticides and other weird chemical crap, there's still steps you can take to optimize your nutrition. Additives like dextrose and aspartame may be synthesized and lame but they're not absolutely going to kill you.

I've been having a lot of these angry outbursts/freakouts lately and they've gotten so severe and intense to the point where I scream at the top of my lungs and I'm sobbing in tears at the end of it. Plus my voice blew out a couple times. I made a protocol where I avoid drugs and alcohol (although I slipped and had a drink here and there, never gotten drunk to the point where I felt ill though, I'm always sober when these outbursts happen). I meditate for 30 minutes every day, have done for the past month now, and I've watched every emotional mastery video from Leo's playlist pretty religiously as well as other similar videos. I feel like I can describe pretty well how to let go of trauma, how to forgive someone, how to be more in the present moment etc. And yet I find myself acting as if I'm a total fucking angry monkey sometimes. This is when I started wondering if maybe there's a chemical factor to it all. Is it possible for a person to genuinely try their best to understand and apply the coping methods mentioned above and still be left feeling distraught and like they're not feeling any better? Or is it always the case that they haven't tried hard enough? After a trip to the emergency room I got a referral for my GP to pick up some SNRI's. Although in my country it's very unlikely you can get a hold of the doctor over the phone so I'm not so sure I'll be getting them any time soon.

Jordon Peterson is super knowledgeable with psychology but he tends to project his own weird little spin on things, especially when giving lectures on Carl Jung stuff. I'd take anything he says outside the realm of academic study of the mind with a grain of salt.

It's pretty healthy to let your true emotions show in a place you can trust. I've known some people who consider it histrionic and attention-seeking but that need for attention would only happen from low-consciousness. If it's any consolation I'm always open for a DM if you want to talk. Peace

I was told the general rule of thumb is to come off SSRI's for at least 2 weeks before you take a psychedelic. Although it could be longer depending how long the medication's been in your system, I'm not sure.

Given how a person's identity has both factored in at various degrees, I would say so. As for how to define them, when a person possesses qualities or traits that are characterized as manly/girly, they can be referred to as masculine/feminine, although it's a blend and not always so black and white It's interesting to think back to the caveman era before we were civilized; you would've had to survive at all costs and do whatever was required of you from your tribe. Who are we to assume it was the men who went out on a hunt for boar or went fishing down the river? Assuming there were shortages, anyone would've been required to take up action, whether they were male or female. Of course this assumes that masculinity by definition possesses the trait of being courageous and strong, which a woman could possess as well, without presenting themselves as such. To me masculinity/femininity is more how one presents themselves on the physical/appearance layer, although there's other modern factors such as sexuality and how a person reacts in social situations.

After an overnight stay in the city which was kind of a half weekend break/half meditation retreat I had an insight that I noticed put a stop to my intrusive thinking about the past and certain trauma that happened there so I thought I'd write it down in case it's maybe helpful for anyone that experiences anything similar. I phrase it as follows: Anything your mind does that isn't related to the present moment is automatically a fantasy. The only two places your mind can go is either here in the present or off in some fantasy (whether it's past or future, something minor that happened or something really heavy, both count as fantasy) The reason the present moment is true and everything else is false is because the present moment is all there is. It's all you've had and all you ever will have. If you ate a pizza 2 years ago, does that mean the pizza still exists? Look at your hands. Look at your body. Look at the space you're in. Now look at a problem (in the present, right now, don't look in your minds fantasy). Can you find one?

Meditation is super helpful even just for 20-30 minutes. It can be really useful for getting you back in touch to when you were a toddler/child and just being grounded in whatever you were exposed to in the present.

When you develop an awareness for why people act the way they do, it won't infuriate you as much. As @Arthogaan said she's just acting in a low-conscious way. Our parents habits are contingent on whatever they had to endure when they were younger. No internet at the time meant they couldn't look up info on how to help their situation. Seeing things from that perspective makes it easier to empathize; you sorta just feel sorry for your parents if they're getting all shouty/angry over minor crap.

@Yimpa Midjourney

This was meant to be my character in FFXIV - even with different keywords there was always a cat cropping up in the image.

@Raze These were really helpful, huge thanks

It always happens when I'm alone. It's a bad habit I've had since I was young. In my head it feels like I'm reliving certain situations and I retaliate as if it's really happening. It usually comes in the form of my mother unloading on me and I just wanna give her a piece of my mind. It got really deranged last night though; screaming at the top of my lungs things like "you fucked me up" and "you're a narcissist cu**", followed by fantasies of me beating the shit out of her. This isn't something I'd ever want to do though. I'd leave before that ever happened. I've never had a diagnoses for anything other than generalized anxiety/depression as a teen. Could this be chalked up as just a weird habit or is it maybe something more serious like bi-polar disorder? I intend to be as positive as I can on this forum and not dwell too much on detrimental aspects of mental health but I just wanted to write this down somewhere. Maybe there's others on here who have or have had a similar thing happen to them? Meditation and cutting out caffeine has helped me out with this a little but the fact it still happens at all after all this time leaves me feeling kinda disturbed.

In my own experience 2g of shrooms came on really strong physically. If you're sensitive to nausea or headaches I'd maybe just bear that in mind if you decide to up your dose. Otherwise there's nothing to really worry about; both 1g and 2g didn't cause any long term problems with me.

A journal's a nice touch. I keep one beside me that I use to cultivate anything that makes me feel happy. It's really the smaller things in life that people would take for granted; brewing a cup of coffee, eating a nice piece of chocolate, saying hello to a friend, receiving a compliment etc.