withinUverse

@Osaid First of all, Thank you for your help! I figured it would be a simple procedure, but I haven't been able to figure it out. hmmm... I don't see the blue underlined "choose files." I don't see it next to the "insert other media" button and I don't see it on the drop-down window of the "insert other media" button either. I've been looking for "choose files" or "upload" somewhere. I thought I figured it out... how to do it through URL but that didn't work either. I took a screen shot and placed into a Facebook album. I set the album as public and changed my profile as public. I pasted the URL, and it turns red. It doesn't allow me to do it. In fact, I was successful to insert two pieces of my art into a post using URL. My "insert existing attachment" is blank. Maybe there's something not working properly with my account? I don't know. If not, I'll learn how to work with the parameters I have. Thanks again! P.S. Do you have any knowledge of basic html? Or specifically how to use the "code" button. I tried to insert the capability to highlight sentences with different colors and was unsuccessful with that attempt too.

@Swarnim

@caesar13 @Swarnim Hello there! I'm new around here... I was drawn to your post. I tried to see if I could find out whether you two have started a public journal yet. If you're struggling with something, maybe contemplating mainly with yourself could be a solution for you. I'm trying my first public journal and in one session I found it will be valuable to incorporate it with the Actualized experience. I validated something really important for myself. I specifically recommend it because you both say you are struggling with validation... but then you're directing your questions to other people to give you answers... which is persisting the problem because you're looking for validation from someone other than yourself... lol You're going to find out what is true for you isn't always true for others. You need to find your own truth. Take your questions and process them yourself... you can increase your consciousness without even being able to find an answer to your questions. You'll achieve a state where you won't need validation, but my suggestion for you would be choose a strategic move to help you get their sooner. If you don't trust yourself and your process yet, you can build these skills.

@Vrubel I wonder if there's a difference of meaning if I just subtly shift your words. As if I was communicating my perspective but using your thoughts as a reference. I am God which allows me to notice the beauty of being a demon. interesting...

Well hello there gentlemen! Leo has been one of the key tools who inspired me towards focused practices for six years now along with creative flow states, observation, mindfulness and contemplation, recognizing and processing triggers, and psychedelics. So grateful that I attracted Leo’s insights into my experience, and it’s admirable and encouraging to see others who enjoy sharing their passion freely as well. My first ever YouTube video was “How To Be A Strategic Motherfucker”, and I’ve been hooked ever since. Now most of my time is spent in my personal progression but find myself going back to see what Leo’s releasing nowadays. But that’s not why I decided to post for the first time on this forum. Bear with me while we bare a possibility that might just help you out. Have you thought about dancing, partner dancing, as a viable skill to help you get laid or find relationships? Let’s entertain the idea before completely rejecting it. We’ll put in some background particulars to help narrow down who this might be helpful for and some of my experience to recommend dancing and why. We’ll finally go through Leo’s advice and how it’s applicable to partner dancing. The word Maturing is deliberate. I’m going to assume that the masculines who would gain more benefits from this recommendation are those who are implementing the work and practices, not just the mental masterbators (at least not as the primary source; it’s fun, but). If you've been challenging yourself step by step through transformations in your life, then you’ll appreciate that this domain can transform as well… with consistent effort and action along with strong desire. This is not a quick fix and it’s not going to be easy for me to be concise. I’m a maturing feminine and I find I’m more open to trying new avenues because I’m curious how it will expand my potential and how it fits into the puzzle. Dancing is for all ages, but masculines and feminines who are in their 40s or older seem to be searching for events and activities that they can run into partners who aren’t wanting the party scene. As I’m maturing I’ve realized I gain no value in drinking. If you’ve shared this type of journey, you might have sensed a little pressure or uncomfortableness we find ourselves and others feel because you choose not to drink. This does not become an issue normally at a dance venue, because drinking is not the source of entertainment… the dance and music are. It’s common for people to be drinking water to hydrate. Now if you do drink, it’s available too, but you’re rarely going to find anyone getting smashed. Now I know this can help you get laid, but honestly and hopefully I’d like to recommend this to masculines who want opportunities for feminine relationships regardless of intimacy, friendships, or just getting use to feminine energy. I know the “friend zone” sounds like the worst place to be but… in the big picture, it can be a great steppingstone to obtain a larger social circle to hopefully meet feminines who don’t want to put you in the friend zone…which is where you want to be. And damn it… the feminines want to be there with you too! So, who is this lady and why the hell does she even care? Well…first of all, I’d like to admit that I originally skipped over this specific series “How To Get Laid” because I thought it didn’t apply to me personally; however, I have many, many masculine friends who talk to me about this all the time. I know, I know… I’m the epitome of the “friend zone” expert. But please don’t hate me yet. My personal transformations of sexuality and relationships of intimacy have been stretched, twisted, molded, and peculiar time over and I’m still learning. The stage I’m currently at is celibacy for years now and trust me I would have never believed it myself if I haven’t been actually living the process and receiving more fulfilment and wisdom then I imagined. It’s been one of my power moves and it's what’s working for me now, but don’t assume I’m promoting celibacy. It’s extremely challenging specifically at the beginning and only a select few would choose this technique towards self-mastery. It’s not going to be my story forever. I’m just extremely selective especially the more I develop myself, and yes, I’d rather have a profound connection along with attraction. I’ve found that I find almost everyone attractive; attractiveness is not only physical appearance. When Leo said that the feminine doesn’t really care about your looks… well you get confirmation from at least one woman that it’s true. Since I’ve chosen chastity, I still yearn for physical touch; it’s one of my top two love languages along with quality time. Lucky for me though, I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, and I know where I can get that ache nurtured… on the dance floor! Now let’s touch back on those masculines who are in my friend zone entourage. Some I’ve met on the dance floor, so they know the benefits and gain value in dancing. But many others don’t take my recommendation seriously, but they also aren’t Actualizers either (no matter how much I want them to be). They want me to hold them by the hand, but I’ve got my own vision driving me. I can share some of my time and energy to give them a taste which is pleasurable. They need to take the next actions to see if magic can happen through dancing or not. I don’t want to be their long-term dance partner. I want to be their long-term friend which can be more valuable. I’m not sure if it actually works to let them know that I went through a fear stage and a long building muscle memory stage. They only see where I am now and cannot imagine I wasn’t born like this. I admit to them that it seems like I was naturally drawn to dancing but to partner dance... that had to be learned. Something clicked inside and I decided to choose jobs that I was passionate about. I chose ballroom dance and teaching art at that time. The first attempt to enter the dance studio failed; I couldn’t open the front door. I needed a few more days to convince myself that the fear I’m having is not stronger than the desire to (A) dance more and (B) to learn more about something I’m passionate about. The world of partner dancing became much more complex and interesting the more I was there. The interrelationship in personal and collective psychology and sociology, not just physicality and creative expression was fascinating. My playfulness, quirkiness, and positive energy was being expressed and given more freely. I love love (the strong affectionate sensation). I’m a hopeful romantic still, and I want people to attract and connect to people who are compatible or even combustible (not literally). I have been that passionate cheerleader helping others to gain confidence and dance in balance and harmony with one another. But also, I’ve helped partners realize they no longer want to work together. This allows them and their partner the opportunity to find someone who desires that with them. I’m no longer a ballroom dance instructor; however, dance is a part of me and there is more I want to learn and experiment with. I thought that maybe if at least one courageous masculine could follow through, he may receive an unexpected surprise that might give him more than imagined. So, we may understand that everybody is in different states of consciousness at any given time in any given situation. I’d say I’m a bit more conscious of partner dancing than most. For me as a woman I ask, What do most feminines have in common? The desire to dance! Not only dancing, but being held by a masculine, feeling their energy, giving our energy, looking into their eyes and communicating without having to say a word. Depending on the style of dance it literally can be foreplay. To say the least it can be a ton of fun, but action has to be a choice taken by one who feels this might be a good fit for you. Ok let’s take some of the concepts Leo stated in the series and meld them with why I feel dancing could be a legit option for some. First of all, I agree that feminine energy is very attracted to strong masculine energy. The art of partner dance sets up sexual energies for success right from the start. It’s the two energies that may complicate the system. The feminine may want the control because it’s hard to trust, and the masculine may not have gained sufficient confidence, so they are timid in leading which doesn’t give clear direction. In the system of dance there is only one leader… the masculine. Now as you advance the masculine can gain enough confidence and experience to allow their feminine to share leadership, but I’m not going to cover that now. Right now, there is only one leader and honestly, it’s hard to convince the feminine that this is how she wants it really. It looks like a wrestling match instead of a dance when there are no clear distinctions on the lead. When the feminine has clear leadership, she then begins to understand that she can focus her attention on becoming the art instead of the artist. It can be exhilarating to surrender and enjoy the unexpected ride the artist chooses, but it takes time for her to realize this. When I say a strong masculine energy, it’s confidence and clear direction. This is doable in dancing mostly by realizing there is a system of dance and repetition. Once you see that you can systematically approach dance instead of needing natural creativity, then you can start gaining confidence that this is a skill you can build. Repetition will train your body and mind to move without having to think as much which gives you confidence. If you truly start to enjoy the process then dance can eventually transform into an expression. Next Leo suggests moving to a large city to gain more opportunities for the quantity of feminines. In most large cities in the States and internationally, you will find partner dance scenes which will include Salsa (Latin), Swing, and Tango. Depending on your personality and possibly if you’re particular with the style of music can help determine which works for you. I love it all! I love the white and uptight where you soar around together like the Waltz, Tango, or Foxtrot. And I also love to get down and brown. Travelling the world to dance as many styles as possible I can find is something I’m working on. But it seems the Latin scene is everywhere and fairly easy to learn if you want to get out there as soon as possible (and not to mention a wealth of diverse beautiful women). Leo suggested that you might have to make a big decision to move. Well, if you’re not quite ready for that step, but you are willing to travel to major cities around your current location, then you can look for dance classes and clubs as an activity to look for feminines. Many salsa clubs actually host free dance classes before they really start to light the floor on fire. You can also probably use YouTube to learn the basics too. Just remember advanced dancers started from ground zero at one time too… so you don’t have to be so self-conscious that you aren’t the best at the beginning. Since I remember the process and was aware of my development, I enjoy dancing with beginners. I like to give them my positive energy for their confidence to continue and build their muscle memory. Also, with beginners I’m not having to follow a thousand different moves so I can actually have a conversation. Which is great because you can ask them to sit, rest, and chat after the dance. When Leo talks about the cold approach, an actual dance venue geared for lets say Salsa night makes it advantageous for you. There are many women there and they mainly want to dance and socialize. They do not want to sit around unless they’re resting or engaging in an interesting conversation with someone (hopefully you). Technically you don’t even have to say much at a Salsa club… just extend out a hand which invites the ladies to the dance floor. A lot of times after a dance you both exchange a thankful acknowledgement and maybe mention to hopefully get another chance to dance later. Most dance communities are used to dancing with everyone there. Sometimes you might get a couple that wants to stick together, but in general people like to switch partners each dance. I would highly highly encourage you to develop your communication and socializing skills. But I also have a father who is extremely shy. It seems like it’s going to be impossible to drag him to a dance club; he would refuse to have a conversation period. But I’d first get him to at least try to just dance without talking. I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that there are ways to ease into this process; it’s not impossible to build new skills. If you prefer the “day game” approach, then this would be an excellent suggestion for the ladies to go out dancing with you for the “night game” which could lead to some fun results. You can admit you’re a beginner to these “day game” ladies who will probably be new at dancing as well… so don’t be shy to invite her in your early stages. She will thank you for it later. If both of you are new it might be hard to have a conversation at the same time as moving, but it’s fun to mess up with each other. We are not looking for robots who are perfect at everything. You can relax into it and just laugh off the mistakes… it’s really not that big of a deal! Now I hear that all masculines are highly attracted to the feminines' physical appearance. And it’s harder for the feminine to change their appearance. Again, attraction combines multiple aspects to one’s character along with physicality. Leo mentioned that men might also blame the size of their package as an excuse for not being successful with women. Well let’s remember a cliche: it's not the size that matters; it’s how you use it. Well… that can be translated for both genders. Some women might not score as a 10 on the physical aspect. But that score could possibly increase once you see them move. So, keep that in mind gentlemen. After you’ve gained your confidence (with consistent effort and practice which takes time), your skills in dance have now boosted your score in the feminines’ mind as well. Also, with advancing your skills the whole physical escalation techniques can be masterful and tasteful during dance. Believe it or not it can be encouraged by almost every feminine you dance with. If you want to play the game, dancing can be a great tease-please game. People may find they enjoy the buildup… the suggestion and anticipation of something more. Delayed gratification can be very rewarding. If you’re doing the work in all areas of your life, you’re going to realize you are a 10. Once you’re a 10, you’re going to be looking for a 10 as well. 10s aren’t just physically beautiful. I feel if it’s only about the looks it’s more towards shallowness. Actualizers aren't shallow; we’re deep. A final warning that I feel responsible for at least putting it out there. These dance clubs can have a tight knit group of dancers. They usually know each other. So again, I recommend this for the maturing masculine. If you go around and only try hooking up with the ladies like a one-night stand type, I’m guessing your reputation will carry farther than you want. So, plan accordingly. Normally dancers anticipate being touched so touching isn’t considered creepy, but I do recommend being observant while you’re there. You can observe what’s considered acceptable in that spot. I always say yes to the first dance, but it doesn’t guarantee you a second. I’ve been dancing with hundreds of men, and I’ve only rejected two men after the first dance. One was too aggressive; trying to do advanced steps he wasn’t ready to lead at full speed and the other who was kissing my hands and arms after I told him I don’t want him to continue; I was surprised it even started. It can get exciting on the dance floor, but don’t try to take it farther unless you have consent. Take the conversation off the floor and see where that leads. Again, I’ll agree with Leo when feminines don’t want to look like they’re too easy. Also, we don't like it when masculines assume we’re too easy because we’re comfortable in our skin and like to smile. I’m telling you starting at the friend zone can give you time to check out options before going all in too soon. Learn how to be comfortable talking and feeling feminine energy. I laugh when I hear that we have to learn how to have normal conversations with people… I struggle with that myself, so we’ve got to practice. It all benefits us in the end. If dance doesn't work out for you, please gain the ability to be open to socializing somewhere (even like spiritual retreats). Find doors for you to meet the ones you’re looking for. We feminines are looking as well, so don’t give up!

@Vrubel Do you want to practice expressing yourself with a woman... because I'd love to hear what you meant. I've had my fair share of psychedelics. It's interesting to hear other's experiences. You mentioned you felt like that Demon in the painting once. What did you mean by that? If you don't mind. I took a better look at Vrubel's The Demon Seated. It's quite beautiful, in my opinion. Again, I like to let things flow out to express myself... so I'm going to talk from my perspective viewing this art. I saw myself drawn to the peace and beauty of nature's morning dawn. I notice this man almost hesitantly wanting to enjoy the same allure I notice. But there's hesitation by the way he can't really look directly at the beauty. For now, he's comfortable with the beauty in his periphery. His physical mannerism is telling me that he's been comfortable being closed off, but there's a desire to open up more but has uncertainties with himself. Behind him I noticed the landscape seems to be affected by the shadow he's created onto it. It seems more muted, distorted, and fragmented. Beautiful but maybe misunderstood if in a different context. The phenomena behind him seems to be hovering or maybe smothering at times. He's contemplating his decisions towards his future. It seems he's not focusing on the past where the exaggeration exists. Maybe that's why his past is fragmenting... he's been deconstructing his shadows. It's something he's been living yet has noticed there is not just one way to perceive life. There could be a new path, but maybe he thinks that it's not going to be as beautiful as it may seem. He's on the cusp of allowing hope to inspire him to change. It's beautiful!

@Yimpa If this is a skill you want to nurture, then be patient with yourself and be better conscious of the words you are saying and thinking to yourself and others. You're already making this your reality just like other things you want to continue to nurture. It seems like it doesn't happen as quickly as you think it should. But eventually you might appreciate why there might be a waiting period. I just want to say thank you for having these few conversations. I've been learning a lot from our interaction. I'm also very excited to hear some of the experiences you had from medical psychedelic therapy. I may be grossly oversimplifying... but you're giving me hope using psychedelics medically. It's as if I can compare people who use prescription drugs versus psychedelic treatment. When I speak to the different sides per se, many use prescription drugs assume they are going to just continue using these drugs forever because they've identified with whatever label they or society has given them. When I spoke to you using psychedelic treatments, you are becoming more conscious that absolutely it's possible for you to not identify with your labels, because one day you'll heal yourself to that point of understanding. It's hopeful to see the collective becoming more conscious.

Well, I haven't been on this forum for two days yet and man, I feel a bit uncomfortable... which is good; there's something I need to look at. A part of me is saying don't put yourself out there like this because there's going to be strong opinions that probably won't like what you're trying to say. But fuck it... I do the work and I'm going to go ahead and do it regardless of the fear I'm feeling right now. I have a suggestion about possibly adding some additional buttons on the profile page. One button is where you activate it yourself when you decide you need a break from the theory (forum), and you want to focus on the work (experience). Another button is where others can activate your button to suggest you should take a break from the theory (forum) for a temporary period of time, so you have the opportunity to do the work (experience). I don't know if this would help, but in theory it seems like it would. Why am I suggesting this? Well... as a newbie I'm trying to feel out what's going on here and to see if I can see myself fitting in. It's easy for me to see there's a lot of tension and drama going on especially directed towards Leo, and we can try to find solutions to turn this into a more constructive situation. Absolutely I am grateful to have found Actualized videos. I appreciate the vision Leo is creating, and if I can help in any way for that to continue... I will. I'm not saying Leo doesn't have his own shit to work on, but who doesn't? That's why there might be a solution on how the forum is structured. @Leo Gura We want you to be at your peak (energetically speaking in this situation). Trust me... you are reaching Actualizers who understand what's involved. To simplify it... there seems to be a huge gap between yourself and majority of the mental masterbators. Trust that there are Actualizers who don't have as much distance to the mental masterbators state who can remember, relate, and influence them easier. Some of these Actualizers have a different temperament and still like to play the games as well. I love your direct no bullshit teaching style. But in my experience as a teacher, most of whom I work with don't want to begin their learnings that way. So, I had to develop a more subtle approach and gained a well of patience. Trust there's a diverse group of Actualizers developing, who can take some of the drama that goes on. You don't have to waste your energy responding to every little thing. Maybe you can benefit from getting away from the forum for a while. Possibly? I asked myself: If I was Leo, what changes could I try to create different results on the Forum perspective. I want people to do the work! I know they are going to be addicted to the theory... so how can I, as an influencer, help these Forum members understand that the work is where the magic happens. Of course, I cannot make them work, but they are a part of my Forum so I can have more of a say at what goes on here. I know I've got a lot on my plate, so I don't have to read and respond to every person, because I'm focusing on the whole instead of each individual. But I do gain value participating with members. With a quick brainstorming moment... I came up with possibly using the button options. I want people to see how much balance it takes to do the work along with theory. Maybe there's a way to track how much time is spent on the forum researching theory and how much time is spent on experiencing. I might have gained relationships with the members because they've given me value and they fit into my niche of actualizing. But I've noticed that my intuition has been nudging me that I need to gain experience away from the theory (the Forum). So maybe there will be a button or a setting letting members know I've decided to take a break for a while, and I can come back and see how I've changed and see if anything has changed in other members. I also know there are many people who are blind to what the work really involves. They are addicted to making excuses, placing the blame on others, and drama. We know it's going to happen, but do I need to allow their toxicity to infect the Forum? I know they can be blind so maybe I'll put another button where the community can click on to suggest to that member they're stuck in theory. Recommend that they take a break from the forum for a while. It's not like I don't want them to return, but I also want to emphasize to them that the work is what's most important here. Maybe there has to be a certain number of members who clicks before they are timed out. Maybe the time out period is like a month. Maybe because this is my damn website, and I have the final say... If I decide this particular member needs a break, I don't need a certain number of votes per se; I'll just click my own button. Obviously, this button thing is just the starting point to see if there is a solution towards growth together. Having other opinions can really mature into something that might work better than it is now. The Forum community: Have you ever been so absorbed in something that you don't even notice how dysfunctional it's getting until an outsider points out the dysfunction? What's this Forum for? Where are we on our development when we are dealing with relationships? Are we working on changing our behaviors to be healthier? Have you actually been doing the work... honestly? When you are writing your comments, how are you feeling? You can ask yourself if your comments are constructive or not. You can disagree with others, that's natural. But can you work on responding in a respectful way? That takes work. Can we empathize with others when they're frustrated? That's been a huge challenge for me. I knew theoretically why I'm frustrated with others is because my own frustration in myself. I know I wish I could learn faster than I am. Because of my own frustration I was robotically lashing out to others who don't have the experience of growth as I have. I am learning I have my own pace as do others. It helps my frustration disappear when I accept myself more. I also realized most people place up walls of defense. I thought of myself as intelligent and persistent, well I can get around that wall. I thought one way or another I can find a way. I didn't see how much energy I was wasting especially if there are several walls I'm working on at once. If there is a wall of defense, leave it alone and respect that. Move on gain perspective. Allow the other person to take down their walls before approaching again. I want to see Actualizers differently from the herd, but how different are we really?

@ZenSwift Enjoy yourself if you give it a go

@Yimpa Absolutely sir... so again I'll remind you to watch your words. You're telling yourself what story you want to create; be deliberate. You're welcome. Knowing your values is valuable. I've found myself distancing with several friends. I still have their memories... and I'm open to attract each other back. I find I'm more deliberate with who I spend long periods of focus on. And I'm becoming more aware that when or if we meet again, they will be different from the memories of the person I once knew. I'll get the pleasure of meeting them and introducing the new version of myself.

I found this thread last night and I allowed myself some time to digest. I guess I want to purge out some of my thoughts. I know I've learned a lot from Leo's guidance, I'm sure there's more I can learn. I'm here to understand myself more, so what am I understanding from this post? First, I noticed I wanted to say I'm Awake. But then I started to break down this transformation I experienced that I called Awake. Why do I call it Awake? Well... it did seem like when I opened my eyes it was the first time I experienced whatever I was looking at. It was as if I didn't even know what the concept of seeing was. I didn't know what my body was and I didn't know what my surroundings were. It was the first real experience of now with no memory of the past and no concept of future. I was being. I was a blank slate at the slightest moment before I opened my view point. The view started to slowly move around but it wasn't like I could put words on the blank slate. There were no words. What are words? I truly did not know I didn't know because I didn't know I could think. I didn't even know what I was. I believe it's when I moved my view to the other person with me did my memory sweep right back in and gave me context and history. To me using the word Awake seemed to be a perfect description. But is it really? Maybe it's the most common word used now adays, so it was just convenient for me to use that word. Maybe it's easier to be lazy and maybe it's the only way others will understand. But who else would understand? Well maybe no one. Awake... Enlightenment... when I hear these words, to me they seem like they're definite or even a final state. Maybe that's why I assumed it was a completion of some kind. But do I feel completed.... do I feel like I'm finished? Absolutely not! So maybe these words aren't as accurate to what my experience was. And really were those moments the only experience that transformed me? No, there has been several and most I haven't even been able to explain. Others I'm completely fine if I don't understand at all. But how many times have I recontextualized my experiences? Countless... and do I all of a sudden feel like I don't need to continue recontextualizing? lol...no! Have I held myself back in some of those experiences? Yes, I found moments where I wasn't ready to face them yet. But do I know I'll be ready with patience and more experience? Yes. Do I know there's so much more for me to learn? Infinitely more! Does that make me feel daunted? Absolutely not, I'm enlivened! I need to find a better word for what I went through. I don't think I should use a noun. Descriptive words might be helpful. It seems like it was an action as well. I think I'll need more time, energy, and effort to come up with something other than Awake. Thank you @Leo Gura for your help in guiding me through this work in progress looking for more clarification for my future!

@Yimpa Wow... you're doing amazing! I'd say you're a man who does high consciousness work and being very successful with it. In fact, you're well on your way of not even having to mention your mental illnesses, neurodiverse, or OCD. You're healing yourself! Of course, with some help, but others aren't as conscious and see themselves always having to deal with it. It looks like you've got an opportunity to re-tell your story. I have a dear friend who had been taking xanax since middle school. She also abused her drug engagement. She ended up developing epilepsy. In fact, I was there when she started having them. Her addiction had gotten out of hand, and I couldn't watch... so I kept distance from her. I'd check in once in a while. I knew she ended up on disability because of her epilepsy, and she had an implant installed to help. Two years ago, we had a video conversation and I noticed she wasn't messed up. I happened to be in town, and asked if I could stop by. I was amazed she was recovering from her addiction. She had been sober for over a year. She still drinks casually, and she had medication for her epilepsy, but she said she's trying to ween herself off of them. She was finding that she wasn't having as many episodes. I am so happy for her... I can understand how much work it took for her to get clean. But I asked her if she could ever see herself without having epilepsy? She said during her addiction she couldn't see, but since her sobriety she feels like there's a possibility of it now. This story came up in my mind, so I'm wondering if it's ok for me to ask the same question to you. Seems like you're at a point where you know there's work to be done, but you're finding solutions. Could you ever see yourself without having mental illness, neurodiverse, or OCD?

@AndylizedAAY Well I've known about the forum so it's been stored back in my mind as a possibility. I happened to watch "the how to get laid" series after I skipped it, and I had a recommendation. I thought having a feminine perspective might help someone. I thought first to maybe just make a comment, but I figured I could give more information, so I thought I'd try out the forum. There's were a few days before I was accepted and there's my mind wondering if I wanted to get involved with the forum or not. I haven't been involved with a forum before so I figured it would be a good opportunity to check it out. I assumed there would be people here that I could relate with and vice versa. I want to ask myself... why am I still using the forum? I've been gaining benefits in just a few days. I went through a drastic transformation in my life, and I'm now getting an opportunity to see how I'm processing information and how I'm responding differently using this new format. I'm still feeling out the way to proceed. As an example, I want to answer your question. I decided to choose to tell you the brief days before I got on. But in another sense, everything has brought me to this moment too. In this moment what can I choose to express and how? I decided to redirect the question because I thought maybe I can gain a better understanding of where I'm at in this process. That is what's so different about this being my first forum. I'm conscious our conversation is public. I'm assuming others are building their consciousness... maybe I can respond in a way that can help or possibly teach others who can understand my style of presentation. I know I'm learning from having conversations here. Maybe there's different styles of presentation I can develop. I feel like I want to be open and vulnerable, and I feel like I want to reply with my process of thought. I find that the words I'm reading can be digested in so many more ways than usual. I feel like I'm looking for more clarification from others and myself. I'm figuring out how many assumptions I've had about someone's words... and yet it's almost like I'm trying to clarify what level of consciousness they are in too. Maybe I'm trying to find a way to communicate on different levels of consciousness so the person I'm speaking with understands, but also others who are at a different level. I know I've experienced this myself. One year I can read or hear something and there was an understanding. But when I return to the same source, I understand more. I realize my consciousness grew and I was able to allow more information in. I haven't posted much, but I'm trying to find a way that's effective. I want to get better at this so I feel this forum will help me build better communication skills. What about you? What brought you here and why do you continue using the forum?

@Understander Thank you! I hadn't seen there was a new one posted. Thank you, truly

@Understander I apologize if we were together and chatting it up and I would have more context than I'd be able to perceive the joke. I'm learning how to better interpret words online without voice intonation and physical cues. I'm aware that we're having a conversation in a conscious building Forum where our conversations are public. I want to be respectful to you and engage, but I also want to engage with others in our community who might be reading as well. I know I can be intense and so you all are helping me be more casual when I'm dealing with consciousness work. Be patient with me... I'm learning

@Yimpa I'm enjoying our conversations and I'd like to say you're doing it sir... you're doing the work and I'm excited for you. I apologize, but I'm going to choose to not read the article. I know it's easy to place labels on ourselves, but I don't understand that label whether it's nuerodiverse, easy-going, uptight, smart, stupid... you get the idea... these labels aren't what I'm interested in. I know you are far more than the label we identify with. If it's ok with you I'd rather continue conversations to get a better sense of who you are. That article won't tell me who Yimpa is Yes sir... balance! At least you are aware you are struggling with offline social interactions. And this is an area of life where you want to make a change, right. Change is tough at first. We've created a homoeostasis. Your internal mental stability is comfortable with online socializing. Do you remember how you felt when you first started chatting online? I'm going to assume that you weren't born in the Web...lol You had to change your behavior to even start chatting online. I remember my first time typing socially on the internet... back in the day when we had to dial up. I was around 7th grade (1995), and I was rotten! I don't even remember who I was talking to. I remember I was hesitant to even type (small sense of fear), but I just went for it. I just remember that I was cussing and causing chaos... lol It was exciting and new.. I've been mostly adventurous from the beginning. My mom said that when I started to walk... I walked right out the door wanting to explore. She wanted me to be like my brother who wanted to always be with her...lol But what about you? Do you remember if you were nervous or excited maybe? You've done many changes in your life but sometimes we forget that once we started doing the change there was a sense of fear that we overcame. The more we repeated this new change we found there was nothing to be afraid of after we've gained homeostasis. Some things create a stronger sense of fear then others which makes us create a huge barrier for that particular thing to even attempt to overcome. But if you remember the other changes that didn't have a strong sense of fear, you were able to be successful. If you can accomplish small fears, you can accomplish large fears as well. Trust yourself you can! I'm not sure if it's possible, but have you spoken to these online friends to meet in real life? You already know how to communicate together. They live in the real world too... so you can be offline gaining experience to be comfortable socializing with people you are already comfortable talking with online. You are gaining more consciousness that Reality and perception can be complex and dynamic. It doesn't have to be an exclusive awareness where it's this or that. It can be a more inclusive awareness that you're comfortable and excited that your consciousness has the ability to seem to be split. Not only are you in your living room but also in a virtual forest at the same time. It's pretty cool to be speaking with people in the virtual forest and then your roommate taps you on the shoulder in the living room to ask if you want to go get dinner together. You are more complex and dynamic and it's possible for you to develop your own understanding of what that means. Very good! The work isn't that you just automatically stop talking negatively to yourself. It's being aware and conscious when you catch yourself doing it. At first, you've conditioned yourself to talk that way, so it seems like you don't even notice being negative; it may be what we call natural. But all of a sudden, you're like wait... I'm aware that I just told myself something negative... remind yourself that I'm working on this... what can I tell myself that isn't so negative. A good way to do this is to remind yourself you're learning and I'm going to get better. You can gain your awareness that there may be many times that you catch yourself... that's a good thing you're gaining more consciousness. Continue to repeat addressing the negativity and changing into something more constructive. Eventually you can gain awareness that you're not catching yourself as much because you've changed the behavior of negative self-talk. Your understanding will continue to deepen the more you apply yourself. I think it's super cool that you're finding value from the medical psychedelic treatments and therapist supervision. You're like one of the first people who gets to see if psychedelics works or not legally in the States (I'm assuming). I know you're the first person I've spoken to. This wave of legal medical psychedelic therapy is going to avalanche dramatic shifts in the collective consciousness and of course personal. I'm curious to see how it unfolds. Do you mind giving me more details about your experience? I'm curious

@AndylizedAAY For some reason I've been drawn to focus my attention here and I'm loving it! In the back of my head, I'm warning myself that I could get swallowed up in this, but I've gained experience with this and I'm confident that I can give my full attention for this period of time and see where it goes. I know there's passions driving me for future endeavors, so I know this won't absorb me forever. It's already been extremely beneficial for me, and I hope to be beneficial to others by example. Raising consciousness work is my passion, so this won't be a waste of time. I've had a few days to digest this Forum and I asked myself what I feel I could gain and give... I've got some ideas I want to experiment with, and I'm getting excited to try them out! Nice to meet you

@Understander Hello there... I think that's what already happens In our current consciousness we create a list for ourselves of where we want to focus our attention. Pretty sure there's many items on that list, so we choose which one to focus on (to simplify we'll say it's one). There's our beginning choice. Now how do we present our focus... here's another list of options again limited to our current consciousness. One might ask themselves: what am I trying to get from my focus? Again, to simplify we can say, do I want constructive criticism or judgements? (A) Depending on our current consciousness we may feel like purging out emotions that are stuck so maybe we choose to activate judgement. Now there's a price or consequence once we've chosen. Depending on our current consciousness, we may have reactions to the judgements (if we allowed others to hear us, and they have responded). (1) One could cause emotional satisfaction by gaining confirmation of others who are wanting to purge out their emotions too. (2) Another could cause emotional suffering by getting so absorbed in our attachment to the words as identity. To keep it simple we know there are many other reactions but we're trying to not complicate things that are complex already. (B) So maybe depending on our current consciousness we may choose to focus where we are trying to result in constructive criticism. Again, there's a price or consequence once we've chosen to allow others to hear us and listen to their response. (1) One response could cause intellectual curiosity by gaining confirmation from others which we hadn't previously thought about... maybe introduced a new way of looking at the same situation. This may cause you to entertain the ideas to see whether it's true for you or not. (2) Another response could cause intellectual defensiveness by getting so absorbed in our attachment to the words as identity. This could be a general model of the price when we actually take action to express. (C) Of course, others of us choose not to express in the first place. To simplify maybe we can use this Forum. Some may choose to just read conversations and interactions. We chose we want to focus our attention. Now what's the price or consequences? (A) We could be aware that we aren't ready to put our thoughts out, and we know that we just need a little more time before we have the courage to express. We know that we will gain much more value from doing the action of typing, expressing and observing what our reactions from the result of doing. We're just not ready yet, but we are aware of our current consciousness. (B) We could be unaware we are trapped in our mind conversations. We can read the interactions and come up with stories why we agree or not. We already know what we know. We feel that if they are different than what I know, it isn't going to give me value. We'll just continue to create our own mindscapes without experimentation. We get so absorbed in our attachment to the conversation in our mind as identity. This is how I interpret your words and how I chose to present my thoughts. I'm not sure or maybe I didn't want to assume you were being facetious. I wouldn't recommend an authority figure to choose the list for us at a designated amount of currency. I was suggesting maybe there are other people who look at situations in a wholistic sense who want to guide others constructively. Maybe these people have gained huge amounts of life experience to see where allowing negativity and toxicity run amok isn't as constructive, especially if majority of the people aren't aware of their own current consciousness. Now if people are aware of their current consciousness, then we can see negativity and toxicity run amok is one of the beautiful ways Infinite Intelligence allows so we can have the opportunity to process from direct experience. I guess I'm trying to see who I'm dealing with... the conscious or the unconscious of course it's a mix But I want to thank you, you actually helped me confirm what I was entertaining in my mind on what I want to focus my attention on this Forum.

@Juan Tropical vibes are so satisfying. I just typed in Puerto Rico in the search, and I saw that it's home to the only tropical rainforest in the US. Interesting... So my mother's side is from American Samoa, and there's a tropical rainforest there as well. Lol... we're both territories of the US; I was curious to know what makes Puerto Rico's rainforest different than American Samoa's? Any way... Salsa is a ton of fun! I love to dance! I want to travel around and dance everywhere I go. I know if I was in Puerto Rico, I'd be exploring the rainforest during the day and dancing at night Yeesss! That's awesome! I can relate, especially because I've tried other psychedelics but for some reason Aya is just something different. In fact, when I go back to say mushrooms, there are moments of Aya that comes into my experience. It's unusual because it seems like I don't even want other psychedelics anymore, but I'm so glad I was still open to trying new ones... that's how I found Bufo. Bufo is up there with Aya as well for me... just for different reasons. For me Bufo seems like it can give direct experiences of what Awakening feels like. I know that it's not like that for everyone I've shared experiences with... but for me it's just as fulfilling. These experiences have given me so much drive and has inspired to make solid changes in my life. I can try to explain it... it's like the psychedelics become my theory even though their direct experiences. They give me a theoretical reality that I can create through the direct experiences of change. Eventually I know I'll not have to use psychedelics. That's one of things I've got in my bag of work... eventually embodying the abilities to use this physical reality to gain insights that move me as much as the psychedelic experience. But for now, I'm still gaining so much value with psychedelics.

@supremeyingyang I enjoy discussing with you as well. Yeah, I've already found a book/manual I downloaded, and putting it into practice the last two nights. I'm excited! I understand what you're saying, and it makes sense. Thank you!

@Juan Puerto Rico, eh? Everybody has great things to say about Puerto Rico. I know I'll be making my way there sometime. Do you dance by chance? lol... I've met amazing dancers from Puerto Rico lol... I've actually drank 48 times within 5 years... but I'm going to be drinking Aya for a while and I don't think I can continue to keep track. Have you found any difference in your creativity since drinking Aya?

@Yimpa That's great! I wish I could say I understand where you're coming from, using my direct experience, but I cannot at least in a professional diagnosis sense. But the closest I can get is when I listened to the video of "Understanding Neurosis", there were many qualities I had to work in myself. But I know you're on the right track when you see yourself as an opportunity, not as an obstacle. In a crazy way, I see this Reality as if we chose to live this life. If I was in your shoes... I would remind myself that I have a unique opportunity to discover my capacity to face challenges that I've placed for myself to overcome. I know with my intelligence, creativity, determination and courage I can find solutions to anything. I don't know if you've gained this understanding, but your words you repeat to yourself is crucial. You are always listening to your thoughts and speech. You are literally convincing yourself the experience you want to create. Continue to work on limiting beliefs along with beliefs in general. You're already in this Forum, and in my mind... you're farther along in the work than most. You're already doing it Honestly, I agree with you. When I was answering your question earlier, I was thankful that you wanted clarification. Because existentially I'm still gaining more of an understanding of what Real Life means to me as well. My understanding continues to deepen in many if not all aspects of my experience. When I read the comment that said Real life I interpreted as the physical world we seem to live in together. I'm not familiar with neurodiverse. I briefly saw it was similar to autism, is that right? I'm assuming there's variations within neurodiverse. When I hear you say what I see as real, you may not, and vice-versa are you talking existentially? Or what's commonly known as physical, waking world? Do you see things differently in the physical, waking world then most? As an example, when I'm experiencing psychedelics with others, we usually aren't seeing the same visions in the shared physical, waking world together. In fact the physical, waking world seems to not be there any longer sometimes (depending on which psychedelic). But if we go on a walk in the park, in general we perceive we're in a shared environment that's in nature with trees, birds, and grass let's say. Your experience is your truth and is real for you. My experience is my truth and is real for me. Even though they are different, doesn't mean either of us is wrong. But if we want to try to understand ourselves relating with others, we try to find a way to share, communicate, and achieve a compatible understanding. Existentially speaking, my Real Life needs no validation from others; I know they won't understand, and I'm ok with that. It's my own little world I'm exploring and discovering for myself. Generally speaking, my Real life needs no validation, but I'm curious to hear other perspectives, because I know they're different then my own... which helps me gain a larger curiosity to my existential Real life.

@supremeyingyang Lead by good example... preciously Nice! I was meaning raising consciousness work in ourselves and others. There's a part of normal society moving in this direction already. In my experience there's a larger amount of people moving towards the Green stage collectively, which is hopeful. I'm working with some indigenous who are starting into the Orange, and I'm hoping to influence the few I'm with about some concerns with materialism. Differently from other communities, because I assumed we might understand the importance of direct experiences over theoretical debates, comparatively speaking. Most people I speak with don't know that theory doesn't equal understanding. I was fantasizing about radically open-minded Actualizers who learned acceptance and respect for others. I'm already seeing some benefits I can gain. There's a lot I'm working on, and I can see this Forum as a good way to continue my work. That's what I love about it all... what you think is the proper setup isn't what you find... but what you find is what you need at the moment

@vibv ok... nice! I'm quite aware of that as well... I'll be careful, thanks!

@Juan Yeeesss! I'm an Aya girl through and through! I'm not certain forever, but for a while still. I've found myself mostly with Shipibos along the Ucayali river. How about yourself? Exactly! The extra work during the process is fun! I love recording the process when I remember to. It helps remind myself that life is loving the process not the final completion. There's not an end I'm working towards... enjoying and appreciating the process Well, I have to save up some funds to get me there. Also, I'm not in a rush to get back. Goes back to the process thing... I like to see where I'm led. I know I'll return I'm just not sure when. I've been getting more ideas I want to put on the mural. When I was there, I was finding myself just trying to get it done lol... not use to such a large format. I want to allow plenty of time to continue. I also found a gentleman who writes children's poetry who wants me to do a mural for him. So murals, more dieta, and more exploration... I've got to make the time for it but I'm making time to just chill right now. I did 20 ceremonies in 8 months last time.