OldManCorcoran

If it's not a "release" dose it's not really worthwhile. PsychedSubstance did sub release doses of 5-MeO and got nothing of note. Leo did sub release doses and jerked off to internet porn.

You don't have any idea about any sort of mystical truth unless you're actually in the middle of some kind of ego death/mystical experience/whatever. These occurrences are somewhat brief. Afterwards, you have some conviction about what happened, but some months go by and you entirely forget. And in the end you basically have to just trust yourself on faith alone, because you don't even remember what happened anymore. So your own past thoughts become religious-like, in that you have to trust that you were accurate at the time. And trust your conviction was justified. I believe Leo mentioned the difference in describing a rollercoaster vs actually riding it. The fact is, you can ride a rollercoaster, but after so many months go by you don't actually even really remember the sensations. You end up sort of speculating about what it did feel like... But you can't think yourself back on the rollercoaster, it is never going to be real like if you were to instead actually drive back to theme park and get on the ride again. And then when ON the rollercoaster, it's no longer speculative or based on make believe. I have had serious psychedelic experiences, which have now faded over years. I can sit and try to think myself back into ego death or some total bullshit like meditation, but it never happens that I think really hard or DON'T think (meditation) and suddenly I'm in the middle of a DMT trip/ego death state again. Once the actual event is over it's just a memory and also ideas which all fade over time and eventually become a matter of faith. You can have faith that your recollection of the sensations of riding the rollercoaster are genuine, but it's just never going to be the same as getting on the thing. And with these revelations it's more drastic because oftentimes they strongest states are brought about by drugs which long after the fact leads to speculation about whether you can really trust a doped mind. The practices are probably useless. Probably we will remain stuck in egos until smoking more toad or dying. Staring at walls trying to get back to it is probably total BS.

Nobody is going to have ego death with shrooms or LSD. Those things shred your ego and distort it in bizarre ways, but will never be like toad.

He was probably walking in 5cm deep water, or of course it didn't happen is the other possibility.

Some people here who are really ill need to leave this stuff and just read the Bible. Some people NEED the Bible etc.

I definitely don't believe in multiple states of enlightenment. I think it's more like becoming lucid in a dream, you can be various states of lucid, but there's only one awakening when you open your eyes in bed. I don't think many can maintain "enlightenment". Nobody here. Leo will see whether he can do so if he foregoes drugs for a couple of years until all these mental states are a distant memory. Being constantly enlightened seems like an actual brain malfunction. It's really abnormal to live a full life in ego death...

It's definitely a good idea. What about entities you have zero fear of but don't love? For example, the KKK doesn't scare me whatsoever because I'm white, but I still don't love the klan.

Has to be hate. Fear is a good candidate but I'm thinking, like, people who love snakes as a matter of interest but might be scared of one in real life.

If you have used the more serious psychedelic drugs, that is a phenomena which happens on the event horizon of a breakthrough trip. You can even be "broken through" with some senses, yet still have a reference point for other senses like vision or thought. The reference point is where you think you are located in relation to whichever phenomena. Usually sights look to be in front of where we are, and the position of "where we are" seems to be a point at which there exists an observer of the phenomena. In a normal breakthrough, there isn't any reference point but there can still be a sense of identity, so no center of experience but a sense of being a self (an observer, you, I) intertwined entirely with the phenomena. And of course with total ego death, the sense of I-ness doesn't appear anymore.

It exists exactly as much as blue exists when you see blue. Ego death is like when you are looking at blue, then look away. Identity is always with us and present, then it just isn't there at all. When you look away from blue, existence is still here. If you saw blue since birth and thought that is what you are, it would be inconceivable to imagine a continuation of existence in absence of it. But obviously we know because it happens all the time, that reality goes nowhere if we remove blue from our field of vision. That is how ego is for us, it might be incomprehensible without having had ego death, that sights can appear to nobody.

See schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder, religious hallucinations are common. Dangerous also.

That's unrelated. If there hypothetically was literally nothing not even god not even consciousness, and then there was a big bang and there was just blue. The actual qualia called blue. Then see how with the blue coming into being, it has to seem to be seen. Because the visual quality of blue is what it is, meaning to exist it can't be any other way. That is why the term is meaningless, largely, because you could just say blue exists, or even just say that everything "is". There is not any need at all to introduce some other factor into the equation. What is the difference between blue existing, and blue existing in awareness? There is zero difference because as long as blue exists, it will exist identical to the concept of "blue within awareness", because the seen sight, the qualia, is what exists. It can't actually exist in any other way. Sights can exist, and to exist they must exist precisely as they are seen. Atoms can exist. There is no categorical difference whatsoever between these things, both things with and without qualities. It's just all what "is", right? So realistically, the term itself is irrelevant.

You're definitely incorrect, and its because you have not experienced ego death. No identity is necessary, that is why ego death is life changing. It's a very serious event not like space cake musings. Ego death is exceptionally rare. Exceptionally. Most psychedelic breakthroughs cause loss of center. Which means all phenomena no longer appears to be happening anywhere, it's just sort of everywhere without boundary. The ego (just the sense of self period) is often still in tact.

It is conceptual to some extent. Sights see themselves, the sight exists, and to exist it has to appear to be seen, because all sights are literally the thing that is seen. Taking awareness away from blue, is just removing blue... And the idea that awareness is something which exists in addition to the fact of existence itself, or in addition to whichever object, is clearly wrong. Awareness is a word which realistically has no meaning. You can just say things exist, it means the exact same thing.

Allegedly there is also to be a horror game in this style. I was considering, that if you have the VR headset on in a horror game, you may be terrified of whatever situation/room you are in. No willing yourself out of it will take you out of the room. The only way to escape the room would be within whatever tasks are required in the game. The loss of concern would instead be in recognizing you aren't actually in the VR generated room being chased by demonic spirits. So you could stay in the scary room and recognize it's only a simulation. Al

Real talk, yeah I could see that being the case. Does it feel the same as tripping? I've tried to psyche myself up by trying to think myself back into a trip but as you'd expect that doesn't actually work or do anything. I don't think I'd necessarily want to be there all the time, I imagine some aspects of life are more enjoyable because you believe it to be real.

It seems the actual mental state itself is beyond recollection, but the mental state is what you'd need access to in order to verify the insight. I guess because a mental state isn't an object of perception so there's nothing you can observe to remember. You can definitely remember what you thought but the thoughts were born out of direct knowing of a mental state, rather than an intellectual knowledge as with math. To verify I was not simple delusional and insane, I'd need to have it happen again and then in the midst of it I could verify. But months and years after that, you may doubt yourself. You could write down the precise details of a trip then read it back years later and you can't tell if you were exaggerating or making things up or mistaken when you wrote it. Because you trip so often, most likely the psychedelic states aren't fully leaving your mind. Perhaps if you didn't trip for a year or two, the freshness of the events would be long gone and you'd no longer be able to be certain that you wasn't just delusional at the time. And then to verify you were correct, you'd need to trip again, and in the midst of that trip: "ah, so I wasn't crazy after all!" It seems something a person must periodically do at regular intervals to not just slip into self doubt. Doubt is not a bug it's a feature? Hehe.

I certainly am heavily affected as you describe. I would not be considering topics such as nonduality without having endured such events. Presumably your last trip was quite recent, I am much further removed from my last trip. Years actually. It's at the point now where I just kind of recall some abstract idea of what I saw visually, and really nothing of the mental shift. I know what I thought. But there would be no way to be sure of that again now except to trip again or wait until my life ends. Like recalling riding a rollercoaster I last went on 11 years ago. I do recall the ride, I think I can imagine the butterfly feeling of the first drop, but it's too long gone now. I'd have to be on it again now to really know again.

They're all shit tier. Toad, heavy doses of DMT, or dying are pretty legit. Anything which actually physically causes complete ego death is pretty legit.

You don't know what reality fundamentally is. You might know in the midst of a high mystical state. Afterwards the state fades and you don't actually know anymore. You have an idea based on the memory of the high mystical state, but when you're not in that state you are believing yourself on faith. Outside of being in the middle of such events, it's speculating and philosophy. It's not knowledge. Nobody is meditating themselves into a toad trip, realistically that is INSANELY naive to anyone familiar with such a thing. High mystical state happens, things may potentially be known. State ends and the knowledge is based on just a memory/idea of what happened.

@ActualizedJohn When it first happened I felt Satan (metaphorically speaking here) had tricked me into stumbling across something nobody should or would ever want to know. I also tried to take it out of my mind and promised I'd never let myself get there again. I think largely it is because we are taught something different, I think largely it's the shock of the situation that scares us. It doesn't seem natural, it seems something abnormal is happening.

To be honest this is excellent and I saved a copy. I encountered such a thing very briefly, and now it's been so long I no longer feel I can trust myself that it really happened. Earlier on the treadmill I stared at a sign on the wall and tried to take myself out of the equation but it just was not possible. I think it's not going to be possible again until I'm dead. Until then I'm just trying to accomplish the impossible task of recreating something that happened. Like there's a magic thought that will make it happen again...

In some respects the idea of reincarnation is horror story tier. You think you got away scott free, having lived an entire life working and not getting burned to death or something horrific. Only to just come back again and again and again for eternity with no escape.

Please note these claims from anybody mean nothing. Regardless of who claims it. Remember that it can always be pure delusion.

I suspect it might be that we are literally the world which remains behind. That we don't even exist at all. Qualia existing in absence of the idea of consciousness doesn't seem to be possible. I think it will be something very strange like that and that is immortality of course, if we never actually even existed at all, only the idea we do, then it is immortality as nobody exists to die. I imagine it may happen that I die, then the biggest cosmic prank of all time is revealed, which is the convincing of nobody that it's somebody. Then realizing I never existed at all, thinking I did was the practical joke. Then laughing like a psycho in whatever midway state I'd be in at the absolute impossibility of it.