The Redeemer

Not good. I remember receiving love as a child, but something happened and I turned on her. I think I'm starting to realize that the problem could be my porn use. I started watching porn at the age of 12-13, so I think that heavily skewed with my perception on women.

I don't know what is real. I don't know what is not real. I also am losing my ability to discern what is appropriate for a given situation or I didn't know what was appropriate in the first place. I have a hard time feeling pain. Like I have a massive headache, but somehow I just keep denying it and it just disappears and reappears again. I also am not on any drugs or psychedelics. This is my sober state.

I must not be attractive or something. I approached like 8 girls at the mall today and I am not getting the Bambi eyes. I think I need to start lifting weights more, get a tan, or maybe get a haircut (which I don't want). I want the girls to get attracted to me off the initial approach, because I think that is what I deserve. Sadly I don't think it matters how much of a positive mood you are in. If you aren't aestheticly appeasing the girl simply won't look at you as a sexual prospect.

Yeah

I did. She reminded me that love was possible.

I think it is useful. If your photos are top notch and in the 1%

Also I am super direct because based off all my past experiences, I kept getting trapped in these long conversations to nowhere so now I'm just being honest and straightforward with my desires.

Thanks

I feel like I have tits. I am in a man's body right now, but I feel like there should be breasts here. I am so confused what to do ?

Yes lol

It comes and goes. It's not a consistent thing. Sometimes I feel like it would be nice to have tits, but I would look like an utter clown.

I'll never be a woman and I don't want to be a trans woman.

I am tired of the laws of this reality. I wish to create something entirely new where the people are much less likely to be psychopathic. The brutality of life is killing me.

I just don't know how to undo it all.

I think I need to change my origin point. Recreate my whole life story.

I must be a God then. I feel like the police is always watching me ?

I'm scared.

I don't know who I am. I am very scared. I think I require friends because people are telling me to be more social, so when I'm alone by myself I feel guilty spending time by myself.

So I have been going out and what I am finding is that they are disgusted that I even find them attractive. Do they have low self-esteem? Should I treat them with disrespect? What is the deal?

I am trying to find friends that emotionally support me. I feel like that is what life is about. What I'm finding though is nothing but feelings of shame, insecurity, and uncertainty.

What is a psychologist going to do about it?

That's what I am saying! Girls can interpret the situation in an infinite number of ways. I could act the same way with one girl and she can interpret it as creepy and another as flattering. I think it just depends on the girl and her own individual reality personally. You can't let them gaslight you into making you believe that you are doing something wrong when you aren't doing anything wrong at all.

Lol who knows

I don't know what shame I could be carrying. I'm ashamed of my murderous tendencies that's for sure.

I think it is actually quite healthy. I want to have control of my reality.