The Redeemer

When should you become loyal to a girl? Is it safe? How do I test for her loyalty?

What kind of assumption is that? I believe you where the one that sent me videos correct? I have been following the advices in one of those videos that you gave me.

I should have rephrased that statement. I meant all hate speech.

Exactly, let's abolish free speech.

I can't survive anymore. I don't have any likes or dislikes. I enjoy everything. This causes me to have no sense of direction because there is no direction to go if everything all ends up back to the same place.

I want to feel close to someone. I want to be touched. I want to feel held. Like a baby. I am not sure what is happening.

I believe all this talk about spirituality and meta-physicality has affected my subcomunications when I am out talking to people. It is hard not to slip into metaphysical topics when I am out talking to people.

I have come to the conclusion. That there are no inherent feelings embedded in a post. Whenever you read a post and it triggers a feeling within you, it came from you. You have an "idea" of who this person is and what they may really be about, but "you" were the one that created "their" concept and the feelings that are entwined within "them"

Hell is my paradise

I have no concept of good and evil anymore. I am confused. It all seems relative.

It would be absolute paradise.

What would happen if every human being on the planet were enlightened?

Exactly it is all relative. You can do whatever you want. Anything that has happened has already occurred.

That would imply that you believe that pain and suffering are inherently evil.

Another time spent out doing daygame. Unfortunately no results yet. I am having a hard time not judging people. For some reason I am filled with all this hate towards everyone around me. I think it is coming from some deep insecurity that I have. Also I am way to honest with people. People at the cash register really aren't looking for a chit chat. They are there to do business. I am trying to have fun in my sets, but something is holding me back. I believe I have put myself out there before, but I have been traumatized by doing so. It is like I can't fully project my personality out without facing massive resistance. I am having a hard time fitting into the culture in western society. I find people guarded and not looking to reveal too much information, which leads to me not trusting anyone because they are obviously hiding something. They are not being honest and upfront as I tend to be with myself. They aren't emotionally honest with themselves either. I guess it kind of feels wrong for me to try to fit into the culture, because frankly I find it toxic and semi spiteful.

Yes I am aware. I was in a relationship and I DID call out my ex on certain behavior that she did.

I feel like what is most important to me in a relationship is a feeling of connection and closeness that I have with my partner. I want to feel understood and accepted and appreciated for who I am. I had this in my past relationship and it was beautiful. I felt like I could trust my partner and that I wouldn't be judged for the seemingly unacceptable parts of myself that I have in my psyche.

I believe I am a soft and compassionate person. My dad is a family man. He never really was a tough and macho person. My dad was the type of person to sacrifice things for his kids. I believe I am just like him. I just want to have a loving family. Living in this westernized and materialistic society has taken the focus completely out of relationships and put it on a never ending cycle of accumulating wealth and getting ahead in life. I do not value wealth. At least when it gets in the way of having a relationship with someone. People don't want to connect with others anymore. They would rather be focused on themselves and be independent from one another.

I'm so confused ?

I realize that I have a subconscious aversion to speaking. Even as I am typing this paragraph, I keep having thoughts like, "You're not allowed to say that", or "Your not good enough to say it" it is very strange. Its thoughts like, "You're not allowed to do that, that, or that. I think my parents were very controlling and controlled what I said or this is societies' conditioning. I am not sure.

I get my sense of safety from following rules.

I realized that I am not fighting and advocating for my own truth. I legitimately believe that there are issues with society that need to be talked about with people. I am looking for ways in which I can do that in way where it doesn't trigger people.

I feel like men are not allowed to speak up and act on their behalf.

Delete that from your memory.

Just block her and delete this from your memory.