The Renaissance Man

This is not true though. Nobody teaches approaching and then goodbye lol. Leo's guide is called "how to get laid", not how to approach. And the advice in there covers approaching, creating attraction, building rapport, and having sex, and he explains why every step is necessary as well, even to get to a solid relationship. In the guide he also said clearly how the point is to end up in a long-term loving relationship. He also explained the pros and cons of multiple ways of meeting girls. I'm really not saying anything new. Doing 2000 approaches will contemporarily mean 300 dates, getting laid 20 times, or whatever, I'm making up the numbers. Plus, you approach a girl once, but if successful, the dates stemming from that approach could be multiple, as well as the times you have sex. I feel like I'm stating the obvious here. You're practicing the entire set of skills of attraction. Relationships are a different set of skills, and a single relationship provides plenty of opportunities to practice a plethora of skills anyway, without the need of having 100 girlfriends (again, stating the obvious).

@Pro24 Just try. It sure isn't unhealthy. Cold doesn't even give you fever. Fever can be a different matter, where physical activity especially can make it worse. But you can do everything with a cold. But all of this is useless advice, just try if you want an answer.

Some objections @Princess Arabia, and I appreciate your desire to understand this issue: If you suck ass with girls you won't have that mindset. You'll have tons of proof that you CAN'T get girls, and to rewire that you will need tons of proof of the opposite, and that takes a lot of attempts, since only few of them will be successful especially at the beginning. So to get lots of positive proof, needed to build that sort of mindset, it takes a lot of attempts. Can that sort of mindset be built up without experience? Possibly, but it's super hard and highly inefficient. Wouldn't you agree it's possible to suck at social interactions? Even if confident, if you aren't a pleasant person to have around your success rate will drop drastically. This is to say there is a skill aspect involved, even if you're confident. Although confidence despite lack of results is more rare, if you have some basic social calibration and you're (very) confident you're usually good enough. But still, that's far from mastery of any kind though. This is to say that if you are very socially awkward, that kind of extensive practice is not an option. Put yourself in the shoes of a very socially awkward person who had terribly unsuccessful experiences for all of his life, years and years, not just once or twice. Rewire that with mental practice alone and try comparing that with what Leo is suggesting.

I've heard confidence described as uncertainty / how little you care (credit to healthy gamer, but also Leo's 2 videos on Fear). Experience takes care of the side of the equation of uncertainty. You get so much proof that you can do it that you become confident. The uncertainty, or perceived likelihood of failure, starts high, and with proof it gets lower and lower. On the other hand, if you don't care about the outcome, or don't perceive it as a threat to your identity, you won't act insecure. This is the "how little you care" or ego aspect of the equation. Leo talked about this in his videos on Fear as well. You only care about other's opinions because you identify as a person that's perceived as... blank. If your self-esteem is grounded outside the outcome, so there's no perceived danger to your ego, then you'll be confident. If you're afraid of asking a question, you can either: Ask 1000 questions and get proof that nothing happens, or you get good at asking good questions You develop a sense of self-esteem that's completely independent of looking stupid, and if you're wrong, it will actually feel good because it's an opportunity to be corrected and learn a lesson The second aspect really can't be excluded that quickly.

@Leo Gura some people talk about the pleasure of teaching to a person who shows seriousness and passion. When people write about finding mentors this is what they typically talk about. If I'm not wrong Robert Greene and Tim Ferriss are two of those people. I've heard Eben Pagan talk about mentors, I don't think he worked for them. But maybe he already had a name and some value to offer, or maybe a decent network that provided some social proof for the mentor that he wouldn't be a total idiot and a risk of wasted time. I don't know how realistic it is. Maybe if you find the right combination of an expert who is niche, doesn't do coaching, and likes the idea... I think it is possible to tap into that simple benefit of being a teacher, but it's probably be a lot harder if you're a total stranger. Anyway, I'm not willing to work for anybody unless I have no other choice. I will inform myself more on how people found their mentors, and what the relationship looked like, realistically.

@Lyubov Check out his books. I found them nothing short of incredible. The advice is top notch. He has aspect of the solidest Orange you can find in his values. He is all about maximizing money. He doesn't believe that's possible by scamming you, so he does believe in providing value, but if he can charge 10x for that value, he is happy to do it, and will teach you ways to do so. That's an aspect I won't really adopt about his advice. But in terms of creating a valuable offer, understanding value, marketing and sales, he's very, very knowledgeable. He is also very smart. He is a money machine. Maybe still very Orange, but in terms of business, he's a machine. That's my opinion, but I suggest you start from the books: $100M offers, and then $100M leads (the only two he wrote). Revolutionary stuff for me.

@Leo Gura by working for them you mean like an assistant, because then you'll be around them a lot? Or as an apprentice, then coach like the guy who has worked under Ralston for 20 years? Or anything else I'm missing?

@Jacob Morres Thank you, yeah masterminds are another kind of help I was thinking about. I'm really opening up to the value other people can have in my journey, whether it be a mentor, a mastermind, or a coach or a therapist. Well the answers were overwhelmingly positive. A mentor seems to be indeed very powerful and finding one a worthy pursuit. Makes a lot of sense to be honest, I guess when I do decide to go for it this will be the nudge removing any doubt

@Ayham I don't feel my experience reflects your problem enough to propose any solution, especially in the existential part. But in your rant I'm also seeing aspects of "ineffectiveness". Like feeling like a generalist. I also do feel like that sometimes: after all this learning, and even clear growth, I'm far from a master at anything. As I said I'm still working on it, but I'm planning to be a lot more professional in my future of personal development and effectiveness. Like, really going after mastery, with daily deliberate practice on one thing at a time. I may study multiple, may engage in philosophy or whatever else, but there should be a staple of 1-2 hours a day, solid, to master one skill about self development, be it understanding an emotion, or working on charisma, or whatever else. I believe this kind of focus, and a shift from studying to practicing , has the possibility of providing leaps in growth, even if you change what you practice on every 2-3 days. I don't know if I'll have the wisdom and discipline do stick to this, but eventually I feel it will be clear enough to be the only way to make a serious dent pretty fast in the very solid systems of self-deception and emotional mastery. Also I'm curious, did I at least get partially one of your points, or did I miss entirely?

Thank you. @Davino @Adam M The kind of relationship you have is direct enough to have personal access? Both because of the wisdom and the personal accountability that comes from having the mentor investing his energy in you. For example I wouldn't consider Leo, even in this forum, to be that kind of mentor. The advice is still occasional and even if he answers, he can't be that familiar with the situation of everybody, and so the power he can have is akin to a book or a video. While I know I can find a lot on the topic online, since you seem to have personal experience, @Davino @Adam M , what's some advice you'd give to your past selves, or a person who has currently zero connection with anybody even closely resembling a mentor?

Nice! I've heard this about other "negative" emotions as well. One of the best way of integrating them is recognizing how they exist to serve your survival in the first place, like fear and anxiety, protecting your from perceived danger.

@UnbornTao While that may be true, you've got to meet the mind where it's at to persuade it. This is a hard concept to be conscious of even when you're in a high state, let alone in a low state where even the more basic lessons aren't resonating.

Yes, great if then refined with what resonates and works when you're actually getting out of the low state in real time. This is what I'm currently doing. Any time I see an improvement I'm like: what caused that? @Joshe thank you that's very valuable and quite close to the problem I'm talking about. In a way I was planning to have an essentialist approach, in the sense that those principles and practices would be the few, most effective ones that simply move me forward, even by a single step. Trusting that then they are able to bring me to a slightly better perspective, from which I can see more and more and it sparks what's needed to get back to my higher self. It's too obvious now that trying to do all that's possible from a low state just doesn't work. Hopefully in that low state I don't forget this lol. So tricky! @QVx one of the problems I seem to have is a lack of clarity. Maybe the idea can help you and you can create your own: I'm developing a "map of self-actualization", trying to see every aspect that needs work. This should help me: 1. Clearly knowing what I need to work on and get better at to reach the next stage 2. Have a holistic of the survival mind (I'm still totally outside the spiritual journey) and how everything interconnects. For example, how self-deception influences motivation and relationships. I feel the same: speed is really lacking overall. I feel I could do much more. But the reason I can't get myself to be more effective currently is consciousness. I can't see the problems in my current approach deeply enough to improve them. That's why I'm really going heavy on clarity with the map above, but also in creating a safety net to re-gain consciousness quickly. I haven't ever tried to find a mentor, but in those moments I'm really seeing how valuable that would be.

Spot on. Although I have an intuition that it won't be the solution... the mind is too complex and smart for any blueprint to be enough to get it back on track... but I guess creating such a resource will at least improve my understanding. Yup, although in this case it can be a problem to engage at all if nothing feels worthy enough from certain states. So you want to force yourself, you may even have the energy, but you just don't see the point. That's also one of the purposes of the blueprint. It's not so much about the knowledge, or the best practices to get back on track. I'm noticing it's really a state of mind that shifts my awareness, and from that position, that elevated perspective, I am effortlessly motivated. So my goal will be to find the right words to make "low me" see what "high me" was seeing. Possibly all I will need is a well crafted perspective statement. Like an eagle grabbing me from the back to 1km above the ground and tells me: this is the path, remember? Even as a very curious guy, a Renaissance Man we might say, unless in a total state of eternal bliss, there will be some suffering -> drive to solve problems and get better -> more learning and maturity to do. I guess I'll just have to remind myself of this from time to time. We'll see. Time to create!

@Rafael Thundercat Thank you, yes I'm sure that's part of it. Some color in my life would probably be helpful, like a spark igniting some energy that then floods in the other areas as well, by improving my overall "state". But another tricky thing is that in the past I also tried making those changes. Lots of new hobbies, trips even... but it ends up being kind of empty. As a nice bonus to the core of your life it's great, but it won't "save you", and having experienced that, I don't really have any drive to do that again because I tried it already. Tricky stuff. At the same time, there's some benefit in distraction, taking some time for inspiration, to add some color to life, as you said. Although I feel the main problem (not the only one, but the root of it) is forgetting important mature principles. And I feel like I can do a lot better with preventing these "dips in wisdom". For example, I'm trying to brainstorm some basic systems to fall back to when I forget about some teaching. Creating resources with the 5% of principles that yield 95% of the results, and referring to those when I feel a bit lost. And then getting back on track from there. Has this ever happened to you? Or something along those lines?

@HMD In the 7 habits of highly effective people (book) by Covey, the first 3 habits can be helpful. Especially habit 2, which is about learning to operate from a set of principles rather than survival stuff. He calls it a "center". I thought it was going to be a superficial book but man was I wrong. The title can be misleading, there's a lot of wisdom in there (it's also in Leo's list) Healthgamer on YouTube has a product with a section on motivation. It's not the best, but the perspective is a bit different, and it's quite more sopthisticated than "just be disciplined". But as I said, it's not the best, it's original but a bit all over the place. The main lesson I got from the course is how motivation works, and it's about consciousness: It's about how conscious you are, and the perception you have of: risks, benefits, and likelihood of success. These are the 3 components. The situation with motivation is quite complex though, I still don't have a solid grasp of every variable and solid techniques, plus I don't think writing everything I discovered here would make much sense, it's not the place. I think the missing piece is in how to get yourself to be conscious of the right things. That's the whole gist of motivation. I believe it's not even about habits. But I still haven't found a solid, everlasting solution.

What's the name of the course? Charisma University?

@Rishabh R I didn't stop on purpose, it kind of happened naturally, because after a while you notice what's being said is always the same stuff over and over. But those videos do have a hidden positive effect: they keep your attention on those topics. If you let yourself go a bit too much, it's easy to fall into "bad habits", or what we might call your "lower self". But as long as you feel better, go for it. Especially if you are still able to follow an overall plan to actual progress.

@jacknine119 Leo's book list will never be 100% comprehensive. There are millions of books around. So buying the book list doesn't prevent you from making valuable discoveries. Plus: the book list is extremely valuable, some of the books inside you may never be able to find by yourself Plus: it's pretty cheap c'mon, especially for the value Plus: it supports Leo and the humongous amount of material he provides on YT for free

I'm all for this new chapter of Actualized!

Dan Koe has endorsed Leo multiple times publicly, and he's also into spirituality. Seems an open minded chill dude, for sure smart, that still has a platform growing really fast. His videos are business focused, but also personal development. https://www.youtube.com/@DanKoeTalks his channel

From screens, to toxic fragrances, to soap and shampoo, to fluoride, sunscreen, sitting all day & posture, hygiene, oral health, skin health etc, a lot of "good and normal practices" are being discovered toxic. It's hard to find good information and advice, or even understanding of what's a problem and why, what's healthy and why, and what solid resources can be. I already made a post on nutrition here, in this post I wanted to gather more about non-nutritional health aspects. The key questions could be, in the context of an individual with no symptoms that wants to prevent illness: Do you have any advice on how to do research on these topics that's actually based on solid data? "Teach the man how to fish" What "metrics" should I check for being healthy (non-nutrition)? Cardiovascular health, joint health, bones, posture, lungs & breathing, teeth, skin health, tumor checks, any medical checks one should do Any solid and great, unbiased sources of info? Thank you in advance. I know some of you are very knowledgeable and up to date, and I think an overview can be very helpful for everybody!

From heavy metals, to micro plastics, to solid scientific studies being overthrown by modern ones, I'm really struggling to find a balance in my nutritional knowledge. In particular micronutrients & supplements, which tests & metrics to check, what is quality food, which foods can be toxic, which micronutrients can be toxic and which ones should be taken, etc. This is in the context of a "healthy" individual, lean, who works out, with no particular pathologies, but who doesn't know if that's toxic, that supplement should be taken, that fish has heavy metals, that thing causes cancer, etc. The real key questions I need are: Do you have any advice on how to do research on these topics that's actually based on solid data? "Teach the man how to fish" What "metrics" should I check for being healthy (nutrition-wise)? Blood values, other medical tests, feces, heavy metals, etc. Any solid and great, unbiased sources of info? Thank you in advance. I know some of you are very knowledgeable and up to date ( @undeather I love your posts ), and I think an overview can be very helpful for everybody!

Very interesting, never thought about it this way

@Leo Gura By the way, I noticed Ralston, especially in The Art of Mastery, and much less in Zen Body-Being which has a lot more (and was written 20 years prior), was super careful with not giving examples to accompany his principles. The reason is to avoid any conceptual preconception that is not the experience of the principle itself. But this has lead to me needing to go through certain parts like 15 times, and still having doubts. From your videos I've seen you've taken quite the opposite stance on this, providing countless examples to triangulate the idea. While it's still true that no example will equate direct experience, all of us have years of more or less nuanced observations, and I found examples really useful to point to the right kind of experience, or at least have a hint. To me examples have felt more effective, even if they're not the thing, they point to it more precisely. Is this why you've decided to take this route?