ZenBlue

God is absolute infinity so in a sense yes God is also the devil. There is no limit to what God is. It is limitless

3/11/2020 Wednesday Take back your power by acknowledging and owning up to the creator within. All of us have a divine being within us. Everything that happens to us is happening within us. We tend to attribute all of our emotions and life's problems to the world outside of us, but that is just an illusion. When a person is born into this world as an infant, that infant has no attachments to anything. The infant does not know what anything is. The infant learns to create meanings to objects and attaches to those meanings over time as a byproduct of the environment it grows up in. The outside environment has an influence on a person as they grow and develop, but it is within that person that everything is created. A person who is fully enlightened and awake has fully acknowledged the creator within and thus is not influenced by the outside world anymore. For example, we like to think a person has stolen from me, so therefore I am angry. It is easy to create a story in your head that this object is yours and a person has violated your rights by stealing what you have called yours. Then from this story that is played within you, you produce an emotion that we label as anger. If you observe this carefully, then you realize the emotion is created within you. The outside force did not cause you to be angry. You created the anger from within. The outside world did not create the meaning and attachments you have to your objects. You created the stories, and the meanings from within. Happiness then, can never be obtained from anything outside of us. People are constantly in search of happiness and mistakenly believe that happiness comes from the things outside of them. Happiness is merely a label to describe a feeling. This feeling is created and happens within you. You do not need any external validation to create the feeling of happiness. Just decide you want to be happy and create that feeling from within. You can then simply be with that feeling without letting outside factors dictate how you feel within. You do not need anyone's permission to be happy. Decide for yourself that you are happy and be it. There is no need to suffer because the suffering is created from within. Let go of the attachment to suffering and release it.

@Raptorsin7 I think complete freedom comes from accepting yourself as you are. In the human form, we are all imperfect beings. Accept all the flaws within you without judgment. Be as free as you want to be and be as you want to be. At the core of our being, we all want to love and be loved.

@Raptorsin7 Well for me personally, it's because I get an inner knowing. I can describe it like being a mind's eye. It is an inner eye within you that gives you a sense of being able to see the reality of human nature. You can watch and observe how people are acting and creating these false illusions and stories. And when you are outside of it, it is so clear what they are doing yet they seem to be totally unaware of the illusions being played out.

@Raptorsin7 I didn't do any one specific thing to open it. It happened naturally as a by product of many little things that happened over time. For instance, I have been meditating regularly now for 4 years. Also I have experimented with some psychedelics. Even around 8 years ago I had a profound experience while raving on MDMA. It was really random and unexpected, but I remember in that moment I felt so much love for the world and realized how deeply connected we all were. Back then I wasn't really into spirituality and I didn't know it was an awakening experience. Also I was meditating regularly by accident during my teen years while I was in high school. This happened by accident because I had some mild insomnia where I couldn't fall asleep easily. Many nights I would lie in bed for 2 - 3 hours just observing my thoughts. I didn't know back then, this was a form of meditation, also known as the do nothing meditation. So I think by the time I really started to dive deeper and become serious about spirituality, I had already had a few small moments of awakening throughout the years. I think now it's because I have accumulated a lot of these small awakening moments over time that my third eye is open and I am able to see more clearly. I still have times where I go into lower consciousness states, and I would say I still have to work on strengthening my third eye. But, yes I still get many profound insights coming in on a regular basis.

3/10/2020 Tuesday Seeing through the illusion (Maya). I have learned to see past the many layers of illusions created by society. My third eye is open and I'm still working on improving my ability to use it. My experience hasn't been mystical and glamorous like how it's portrayed. It feels rather ordinary and mundane. The feeling of using the third eye is very similar to day dreaming or using imagination in your mind. It is like I see things in my minds eye and I have an inner knowing about things. I receive thoughts and information that resonate as true within me. I now see beyond the illusions of society. Sometimes as soon as I wake up I have insights come pouring into me. The human world is an incredibly dark and mad world. Most of society has gone insane. Sometimes, the people who are the most sane look insane to society, and the people who look the most sane in society are actually the most insane of them all. I do not demonize and criticize the world because this insanity is born from ignorance and fear, yet it is terrifying because there is so much destruction and pain as a result of this madness. I am not above any of it, as I have contributed to the insanity during my period of ignorance. Now I am still attached to my ego and I enjoy the luxuries of the human world. I have a deep love and compassion for humanity because in between all the madness, there is still some good left in the world. Humans have an endless capacity to be evil and an endless capacity to be good. I am not separate from any of it so I do not have any right to demonize or judge it. By learning to accept myself as I am, I am better able to accept the world as it is. Judge less, and forgive more. That is the essence of love.

3/6/2020 Friday Today I am tuned into higher vibrations. I am in a state of euphoria and gratitude. I feel the high of life that has been described by many highly conscious people. I am also aware I need to remain grounded and stabilize my emotions because if I let it ride too high, then the energy will come crashing down and I will get pulled into a lower vibration state. I know this from direct personal experience where I have gone through that cycle many times throughout my life. Since I have been meditating regularly for 4 years now, I am able to ground myself and regulate my emotions a lot better than I used to. I am also aware of not letting my emotions get too high or too low. Instead, now I am able to feel this euphoric state and maintain it for longer periods of time without letting it ride too high. As I sit here typing this, I am able to enjoy the simple pleasure of just sitting and breathing. How wonderful it feels just to even be able to breathe fresh air. I am so grateful to be alive in this present moment and to be able to enjoy so much undeserved privilege. I am aware that I have been blessed deeply in life just by being born in the USA, and being alive in this current time period. I have a fully functioning and healthy body. That is something most people take for granted, but that in itself is a privilege. A healthy body is a luxury, not a right. In this current time period, I am living far better off than kings from hundreds of years ago. How blessed I am to be alive today. Thank you God for blessing me with a wonderful life. God, universe, the higher self, consciousness, whatever you want to call it... all points back to the same thing. Life is a miracle and is something I have a deep appreciation for. Life is amazing.

3/4/2020 Wednesday I have been seeing a lot of synchronicities every single day for the past few months. On a daily basis, I see numbers such as 1111, 333, 444, 777 etc... I am receiving these signs from the universe. I haven't fully interpreted everything that's been coming to me, but the general message I got was that I am on the right path. I am being divinely guided so I need to let go of negative thoughts and emotions. I need to be more present and aware. The world works in mysterious ways. I need to balance myself between the spiritual and physical realm. I'm getting better at letting go the need to know. There is a constant battle going on within me. This same inner battle is going on in everyone else as well and this manifests into this world in many ways. This battle is between the light and the dark. The battle between positive and negative energy. Sometimes I am in high vibrations and get into very euphoric states. This is the state everyone is striving to be in. I'm not able to hold this state for long periods of time however. Sometimes I'm attacked fiercely by negative energy and I do get affected by it. When this happens, I am in lower vibrations and I receive a lot more negative thoughts. This puts me into a lower energetic state and causes me to engage in a lot of low consciousness behavior. I have come a long way from how I used to be though. I don't stay in these lower states for long. There is a constant pull between the positive and negative. I'm able to reach higher vibration states more frequently, and I'm able to stay there longer regardless of my circumstances and whatever is going on around me. I have made immense levels of progress on my self-actualization journey. I need to take the time to step back and appreciate where I am and how far I've come. There is no destination to reach, and it's all about the journey. Enjoy the journey and the process. Be present in the moment and be grateful for what you have. It's so easy to get caught up in trying to achieve the goal or get to the specific thing. That becomes an endless chase of going after the next thing without ever being happy where you are. We have no limits, so there is no ultimate place we can reach. We are absolutely limitless. So just enjoy the journey because there is no place to get to. Life is infinite.

@zeroISinfinity @Raptorsin7 ❤️

Hmmm ok I can tune into the sensations and feeling the love, but I guess it's just something I can't seem to describe or put into words.

3/2/2020 Monday Tuning into higher vibrations. We can't control the thoughts that come to us, but we can choose what we focus on and what we want to tune in to. It's like dialing into a radio station. You need to dial to the right frequency if you want to listen to a specific radio station. If you want more positive thoughts raise your vibrations so that you can receive more positive thoughts on a frequent basis. Learn to let go of the negative thoughts that do no serve your higher self.

Yes, but what is love?

3/1/2020 Sunday I have been experiencing a lot of ego backlash. I am slipping back into the realms of unconsciousness. I have been watching low consciousness media such as movies, shows, and random video clips online. I also engage in a lot of negative patterns of behaviors like eating junk food, and not putting in the work to build my business. I'm not judging myself for these self-destructive patterns, instead I'm observing and questioning as to why I keep doing these things. I have been contemplating the idea of free will. The idea around it is that free will is an illusion and we don't really have any free will. I don't even really know what it means to have free will. If I don't have free will, then what is really going on behind all of life? It seems I may not have free will, but I have the ability to choose the between the options that are presented to me. Maybe just like a video game, everything is already programmed and limited to certain options in what we can do. As the player, I can choose to play the game how I want, but I am restricted to the limitations set in the game. In that sense, maybe we have some level of free will, but are bound within the limitations of this physical world. I understand that the self isn't real. I am consciousness using this human body to have human experiences. But what is consciousness?

2/29/2020 Saturday I have been experiencing an interesting phenomenon. When I stare at the walls or focus on a space while relaxing my eyes, I enter into a bit of a trance. When I'm in this trance state the space that I'm looking at starts to move and distort. It's kind of like the visual effects a person would get on psychedelics. Except I'm completely sober when I do this. I can experience this now anytime I put myself into that that trance state. It almost feels like the fabric of reality is unraveling. Maybe I am getting closer to seeing beyond the illusion. It's hard to explain how I get in this trance state. I empty my mind and stare while relaxing my eyes. It's like those magic eye books. When you stare at any space in the same way your mind is able to go in a trance. If you hold that trance for a few minutes you can see the walls and objects start to move and warp.

2/26/2020 Wednesday The hollow empty feeling inside will never go away. The void can't be filled with material goods, temporary pleasure, or whatever else you use to distract yourself. Life is an illusion, so it can only be empty. The emptiness is something to be embraced, not avoided. Life is an absolute contradiction. Life is an impossible phenomena, yet here we are. From that core, everything else then becomes a contradiction. This is why life is filled with contradictions and opposite forces. Opposing forces must exist and are co-dependent. One cannot exist without the other. Love cannot exist without hate. Light cannot exist without dark. As people, sometimes we become delusional in thinking that we need no one, but ourselves. As human beings, we are very limited, and we are also designed to be social creatures. We literally cannot survive without other human beings. I fear, we are moving more towards leaning heavily on machines and are moving away from humanity. I wonder, maybe movies like terminator, and the matrix aren't so outlandish after all... Lately I have had a lot of monkey chatter in my mind. It becomes difficult for me to concentrate and focus on anything for long periods of time. I think I will try writing a daily journal to help ground my mind, as meditation doesn't seem to be enough. I have been experimenting with different types of meditation. I have tried walking meditation, audio guided meditations, sitting outside and just observing everything around me, and more. For me, I have found sitting in stillness with my eyes closed for the entire meditation session has been the most effective. I'm sure it's different for everyone and in order to find what works best for you, you must experiment and try different things.

2/24/2020 Monday Life is meaningless, but that doesn't have to be a negative realization. What you get out of life is a matter of perspective. From one perspective, a person can become cynical and say why even bother doing anything when it's all meaningless anyways. However, from another perspective this becomes a liberating and beautiful realization. Meaning is relative. Since life has no inherent meaning, that means you are free to live a life that you love. You are free to create your own meaning in life. What's the point of life? Simply for the love and beauty of it. Life is a series of experiences, which becomes deeply profound and beautiful when it's all combined together. Life is contradictory as well. It is both meaningless and meaningful at the same time. I like to think of it as playing a game. Why do people play video games or sports like basketball for instance? There really isn't a point to any of it. People do it because they love it. That is the same when it comes to the whole of life. We are here simply because to be alive is a wonderful and miraculous thing. My purpose in life is to discover what I absolutely love doing, and do more of that. I have so many things I want to experience and try and I have not even done a fraction of it yet. There is so much left for me to experience and discover. In that sense, I am living out my life purpose every single day.

Who am I? We are on a journey of self exploration. What is consciousness? No one really knows. Everyone just wants to say they know, but they don't really know. The mystery will be infinite. God will forever be exploring itself infinitely. Because God is absolute infinity. There is no end and nothing will ever be fully known.

Meditation is more of an art form. It's not something like molding and sculpting your physique. Leo says a silent meditation retreat is like bootcamp for meditation. Try a 10 day silent meditation retreat. I haven't done one yet, but definitely on my list.

2/21/2020 Friday Maybe because reality is illusory in nature, Truth can never be fully grasped. Maybe it will always be an unknown mystery. Maybe the only thing that can be called the Truth is this moment. I think as people, we are so obsessed with being certain. It's very difficult to embrace uncertainty because we fear the unknown. I'm working on being ok with not knowing. Not knowing anything at all really. The only thing I know is that I know nothing.

Buying real estate to rent out for both residential and commercial properties be good. A lot of current property owners are typically greedy especially with their residential properties. When the demand goes up, they just jack up their prices and care more about their bottom line than the people in their community. You can be a more ethical and conscious property owner who raises rent reasonably and does not jack up prices just because the market is in demand. Since I live in Southern California, I have witnessed firsthand how the rental rates have gone up over 50% within the last 5 years. Homelessness is a huge problem especially here in Southern California. A lot of it has to do with lack of affordable housing.

You don't necessarily need to build a business to be free from wage slavery. Most people aren't even cut out to run a business. Building and running a successful business requires a lot of energy and focus. To do it sustainably and maintain it over a long period of time is where it becomes difficult for most. There are thousands of different types of businesses you can build. Start with going towards your strengths. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? I think most people would find they prefer to be a craftsman than a businessman. By craftsman I mean finding a craft that you really love and building a career out of that. For example: writing, drawing, graphic design, video editing, etc... You could be independent by being a freelancer. Find something you enjoy doing and see if you can build a business out of that. Right now it seems you are mainly focused on just building a business for the sake of getting money. That will lead you down the wrong path to the wrong business.

I personally am not fond of the college route as it's unnecessary for most people. Usually only very specific professions require college and advanced degrees. With that said, since you are receiving a good scholarship, and it wouldn't cost you much to attend, there are some potential benefits for you to go to college. The potential benefits are mainly in the people you meet and the experiences you have. When it comes to education, and career choice, college is very limited and rigid. You would become much better educated going off on your own and experiencing life. Since you want to learn permaculture you would learn so much more by finding people who are successfully doing what you already want to do, and working directly for them. Nothing can replace direct, personal hands on experience. College only teaches you theory and requires you to memorize a bunch of useless facts. Many people tout having a college degree as a good fall back option or something that will help you advance your career. It seems like you don't want a career in academia, politics, or the corporate world. So what good would having a college degree do for you? A fall back is only necessary for those who don't believe in themselves. It is for people who are already planning for failure. Don't bother planning for failure. By doing so, you are imagining a scenario where you have failed and have settled for a mediocre job for the illusion of financial security. Focus on finding your life purpose and listen to your intuition. It's about listening less to your head, and listening more to your heart. I think deep in your heart, you don't really want to go to college. You only consider it as an option because it's the "rational" choice. Because everyone else will tell you that it's practical and "smart" to go to college. Imagine what it would feel like if you are doing what you love every single day. I think the gap year is a great idea as you will have time to explore and think about your life. College will still be there.

Listen to your intuition. Your emotions are there as tools to guide you. You can on a deep level be happy and content with your life, but at the same time there may be a moment in which you experience a lot of unpleasantness. Being in pain, or hating your current situation doesn't mean you are not unconditionally happy. The idea of being unconditionally happy doesn't mean you never experience negative emotions or unpleasantness in your life ever again. Instead let go of the labels that this emotion is negative, and that emotion is positive. They are merely tools for you to use and guide you. They give you experiences and lessons to learn from.

2/20/2020 Thursday 3 years ago, I wrote down as a goal to be a multimillionaire by today. It's ironic and amusing because I'm nowhere closer to being a millionaire financially, yet today I feel like the wealthiest person in the world. I am wealthy because I am absolutely happy and so grateful to be alive. Even if life is an illusion, I am grateful to enjoy this illusion. Today I spent some time meditating outdoors in a park. It's interesting to observe the world around you when you sit in stillness. God is the original trickster. The prankster who laughs at the world and doesn't take anything too seriously. God imagined us as a joke. It was a thought merely to amuse itself. All of this just evolved on its own. Never would God have imagined what this would become. Yes, God has a dark sense of humor. And if you really think about it, it's fucking hilarious. The funniest joke in the world. Our life is a joke, yet we created an entire narrative about the purpose of our existence when it was merely just a fleeting thought. A joke to amuse God. The ego doesn't want to accept that. The ego will do anything and everything to prove that its life is significant. That its life has meaning. God is infinite. That means opposites must exist. Life is both meaningful and meaningless at the same time. The meaning is all relative. Also, I've been thinking about what it means to have love. People use their own biased perspectives based on their egos to define love. If love is God, and God is infinite, then love isn't something that can be limited and defined to anything. Love isn't only an expression of kindness and sweetness. Love isn't all hearts, rainbows, and butterflies. Love is infinite. Ever heard of tough love? Yes, love can express itself as anger, violence, and intense hatred. That is all part of love. Sometimes the only way to get a point across and to teach a lesson is through a harsh expression of reality. The problem is that the ego has judged anything outside of the touchy feely mush as not being love. The ego has limited love to a very small and narrow definition. The best way to really learn how to love is to judge less, and forgive more. I love my shadow self and the darkness that lies within. I will use it when it suits me as a tool to enhance and enrich my life. I will not judge myself harshly as the ego tends to do. I love myself fully no matter what. All of the emotions are available at my disposal to use freely at my whim. I let my intuition guide me as to which emotion is appropriate in the given moment. When the moment is over, the emotion is released, and life carries on. That is where true freedom lies. The only thing that exists is this moment. And this moment is eternal.

Why don't you try going independent and getting your own clients as a health and wellness coach?