BojackHorseman

It's simple. Are you having fun practising an artistic, creative activity? If you do, you're an artist. If you don't, you're just interested/passionate about art. Both are fine. Usual reminder of : follow your needs, not success or what other think. Do small things for you, for your fun, for exploring. If this is for you, then it'll grow on its own soon enough (obviously, a few technicalities matter so everything goes further than a doodle, but those you can find in specific drawing -or whatnot- content)

Been watching this, and I'm thinking hard as to why my kinks are what they are now. Do you think there is always a psychological, deep reason to sexual preferences, that's more than just arousal, and actually participates to shape your life in general? There always seem to be those example like "my dad was like that", but personnally I cannot find a reason as to why I'm usually more feminine than most men, and why I like, between other kinks, femdom quite a lot. (on the other hand I also like being the dominant myself so...contradictory?) To be honest I'm having lots of trouble remembering significant things about my childhood and parents. Which is a shame cause more and more I hear people saying that lots of keys to fixing ouselves root from there.

I know I'm not in the right place to say this, but I don't do shrooms or psychedelics or whatnot. I don't even smoke weed anymore, cause my last experience ended terribly, in a long bad trip that probably resulted in amplifying my anxiety into panic attacks in the later years. I'm honestly too scared and I feel like it's dangerous for me so I decided my path would be without any kind of drugs (I don't even drink alcohol anymore) We don't have to question ourselves about anything, but yet here we are on this community I'm not ashamed at all If someone asks me if I like femdom, I'll say yes Yeah in the end I can still carry on not knowing why I want women to humiliate me in various weird, extreme ways, but I still find it interesting to understand why. I think there's some truth in sexual preferences having some kind of explanations, and since I'm also fucked up in other ways, I thought understanding myself through this could maybe reveal things I don't know about. But if it's very very early childhood, I'll have trouble remembering that, I have so few memories from my childhood.

I've been married for almost 3 years, known each other for 5. We get along quite well, are SUPER open about everything, she's very caring with me, I'm more on the feminine side at times and she more on the masculine one in some ways so we seem to complete ourselves. But she's also very cold (not mean but, it's just her personnality, having trouble empathizing besides me and her only friend), and I'm very reactive and my brain can go in every direction about my passions, and she doesn't have any. Basically a black cat and a labrador. Lately I'm having longer and longer streaks of anxiety or depression, but to be fair, I had them before the relationship so it's not coming from it (or maybe not all of it). Part of me is telling me that maybe the stress of being in a relationship that might not suit me can play a role in this. It's weird cause...I also know we love each other, but sometimes I feel like wasting my time cause she's not very passionate about things, or spiritual (not saying I'm any good in that regard, but at least...thinking about it). Yet...most of the time it's ok, I feel ok? But I can also feel frustrated that maybe she's not getting on the same vibes as I am. Should she? Is this a lack in a couple? Or should I actually be the one to let go and appreciate the moments of comfort I can with her, and learn to get satisfied with myself? To be honest...I'm 43 and started dating in my mid-30s only, I've met 3-4 persons at that time when I decided to go outside and meet women, so I probably lack experience. The logical thing would be to say "this isn't full working" and go our separate ways and try other things with other people. But I'll be realistic, even if it feels absolutely disgusting to say cause I also honestly love her and don't want to lose her : I'm too old now to meet new people anyway. And if we split and I end up noticing that we were actually fine and I'm missing the relationship, I will have lost everything. What is a good relationship to you? Is it just someone you feel fine living with, that can be open with and appreciate cuddles and sex? Should it go deeper than that?

I'll just take the examples that makes me question myself lately. I listen to a ton of different music genres, and I've been lacking experience in the black metal genre. Not every black metal, obviously, is a racist, nazi, a killer or whatnot, but there's a lot of them in albums that the music community consider great. Some people that I consider (obviously through the prism of my chosen values of life) good still do listen to those bands and are like...eh. Separate the art from the artist, etc. But I decided that my view about this would be not to give strenght to the aura of those creators. Same for someone like Polanski, even if I love one of his movies and I'm very interested in seeing other famous ones from him. I decided that, it's not even about giving money to people I don't want to support, but rather, it's a bit abstract but, contributing to "feeding their energy". There are tons of non-problematic artists that need my energy instead, and that I still love, so why give it to what I consider bad people? But...lately I was so ready to watch more movies from this one director I really love, read that huge book about him I just bought which seems fascinating...I press play on the first movie he made, and...animal murder, mouses and cats. (I'm vegan for emapthy reasons mostly so that doesn't help) It's an old-ish film, and it's made in China, so after being disgusted and stopping the film, I thought about it the next days and I was like...wait, he doesn't really know what he's doing, if I was born in China in that era, maybe my whole family, friends, teachers and government would have been like "heh, it's just animals, whatever". So should I switch my view on separating art and artist again? Telling myself that it's ok to watch the movies of someone that made something I hate, because it's not really his fault, and he's not doing this out of sadism or something? Going even further, what if someone was actually doing this out of pure "evil", or going as far as murder, can I justifiy to myself that I'm not contributing to anything bad by consuming their art if I like it? The right thing, considering a non-dual way of thinking would be to separate things, but I kind of feel bad about it. Is it weakness on my part?

I'm married, I love sex with my wife but there are certain things I won't be able to get because she's just one woman. I don't even mean to run after all types of women. It's less problematic to fill the few urges I have to masturbate about certain fantasies to a video. I can actually go like 5 days without masturbation I think, probably more, but then I'm like "what am I even holding this in? Is it bad if I just fap cause I feel like it?" What do you think, not only about my situation but masturbation in general. If you tend to bettering yourself, should you avoid it a lot? Isn't it just different than sex, and can't you make both work side by side? What is even masturbation in a spiritual way? Is it just supposed to be a way to evacuate the urges when you don't have a sexual partner?

It's not about torture. I don't like torture porn. The movie is about something else but has a manipulative and psychopathic character in it, and they happen to show this with torture. Not justifying it obviously, since I was disgusted by it and had to turn the movie off immediately after seeing this. Also. I don't think it's about morality. If the problem for me was to virtue signal, I wouldn't be stuck in the middle about what to think of this.

I totally respect your view, and you may be right. My mind is just not on this path right now. I've personnally always been attracted to dark stuff, not sure why, it still says something about human beings I suppose. (I'm usually not looking for extreme stuff just for the sake of it. It needs humans behind. Even tho I also like shallower, "fun" stuff) So I'm not really trying to outgrow that kind of content right now, as I don't feel like it is problematic to me. Also, it's certainly not my main focus, I just like seeing totally different vibes and goals in art.

Thanks everyone forn your advices. I now see more clearly and see that bipolarity's just getting the best of me. I will try to be more aware of that and find a way to get through the bad version of me when this happens. It's very hard to not get entirely choked by depression when the switch is off, but I'm conscious of this problem, so I have to remember to notice it and not let go of everything for the tinyest thing not going my way.

I'm trying so hard to cling to my idea of making something with my life, but at the same time I also feel like I'm out of gas and too old for that. It's kind of like, I'm not giving up because I hear all those great motivational teachers and work of art, but what if I was wrong, what if the world was, and if not everyone would actually feel better by trying to achieve some kind of success? What happens if I become a lazy fuck and just consume what I like? Would you think that's missing the point on life? Being a shame to god (not in the religious sense)? Will I die with eternal regrets? I'm so lost, so tired, I'm fighting but it's always one step up and ten steps down in my head. That's just facts, I'm trying but it doesn't work. I'm so desperate, that at times, I'm almost willing to give up the critical thinking and open mind that's so dear to me, and put my life into some sort of religion or asking for help to whoever pretends he's got some kind of occult powers. I know this sounds ridiculous. Believe me that's usually not me. But man...I'm getting old and it's getting harder everyday.

I work half time (with a decent salary so i let go the other half so I could get more time for myself) When at home, I'm lazying with my wife when she's back from work, and then (I work nights only) I either go to work or get in my studio. In both cases, i usually "waste" a bit of time browsing, watching videos, or playing a bit of games. Half the time I either research or do music or video things. But I'm just doing the equivalent of sribbling. I did actually sell a few super cheap music on Fiverr at some point, it made me so happy to realise that even a loser like me could make something that people cared enough about to integrate it into their project, but I also noticed the client thing was kind of maybe not for me? It had some kind of satisfying aspects, but also stress and dissatisfaction of working on "small stuff". Now my next goal would be to make an album that's more personal, but being adhd, I just can't get my shit together and all I do is just random improvisations that I never finish. I've got hundreds of them. Also I'm not an actual musician. I do everything by hear/feeling, I don't know any theory. As for video, this is harder to work on since it's team work, but I've recently reconnected with some friends that are doing this more than me, and launched a short movie project that we're gotta shoot in a month or so. I feel like I'm doing this just to honor my past self and the time we spent doing stupid fun movies and series when we were younger. I just want to see, one last time, if I'm cut for this or not. If not, I will try to work on music making an actual finished product I care about. If this one ends up feeling forced too, I'll then get back into drawing. And after that well...guess I'll just give up (sorry, this ended up in a disjointed rant and the more I'm writing, the more I feel like I'm going in circles and there's not way anyone can help me. I think the actual question is something like : is what I used to believe I was made for still me? Or am I just succumbing to the sunk cost fallacy?)

It is for certain persons I think, they're just fine with consuming, having kids and whatnot (god bless them, they're lucky the path is so clear) But I seem to never be happy and let shit go. And that's why I'm questionning myself now. Where did that lead me? 40 years of wasted time and nothing of value to show for it. So, on one hand, one could ask, why keep on going? Why waste energy in such hard paths when I could try and let go and be a derper? Sorry if this is unclear, I'm lost...

After relentlessy working on only making music for 2 years, I burned out and I've actually already let for...I don't know how long, maybe 1 year. Just doing whatever. Playing games, reading, watching movies, catching back all the time I had being frustrated when i only worked on music but missed out on what inspired me in the first place. But, I feel like I cannot just rest anymore, I've been to lazy all my life and I feel like I missed out on alternate lives where I could have been someone, and now's the last time to accomplish even some small kind of success But on the other hand I also kind of feel like I'm forcing myself? Not sure which one it is. Either I AM forcing myself just cause everyone says you gotta be great, or I am lazy and crippled with depression sucking my energy and will half the time (which, on one hand, wouldn't make me fit for actually getting shit done)

43 I've never went too far really, but I'm passionate about movies and music, and I dabble in both.

Say humans evolve in a way that they figure out they have to work for the greater good and build a better humanity. A few question come to mind : - can that ever happen or are we doomed as a species because we're not built for not being selfish? - if it could happen, how would it ever happen? It seems to me like we cannot solve humanity's problem. We can't agree on basic logic, we can not kill ourselves or just even not destroy the planet...I feel like we're juste going extinct instead of evolving. I don't see what type of change could make humanity evolve to something really new - If we do evolve as wise, caring beings, what would then humanity look like? What does even happend in a society where everyone is "awakaned"? How do things move if everything is peacerful? What does our goal become?

I'm going to ask a stupid question here but...how is bitcoin still worth anything? Does it even have any use case? Even years ago when I was playing with trading (on a very small level, losing money), there were already many better money-cryptos than BTC for practical use. Are we still on the "digital gold" argument? Also, to be honest I don't get how you'd invest in crypto when they don't seem to have any use (it's been years and years, does the general public actually use them? And why would they?). Like why would I pay with crypto instead of a credit card? Privacy might be an argument but we know what happens, the concept will get used, but under the direction of societies than are not for privacy at all. Real privacy oriented cryptos will just be used by a minority. Also, the world is going to shit, everything is more and more expensive (at least where I live), possible wars and climate distasters to come, most people would probably not take any interest in virtual money, and if so, why? Please note : I'm not stating any of this is right, in any way. These are just the very, very basic views of someone who doesn't seem to understand this phenomenon at all, looking at it like the same old up and down manipulated game from afar.

How do you know if a personal goal you've had for a long time is actually something you want/need, or if it is just something left from the past you (or maybe something some people ingrained in your head in some cases), that is not true anymore, and you should get rid of, but you can't see it cause you've built your personality on it? It might sound weird to ask. Cause I should know what I love. And I know I love some things, but I'm slowly noticing that maybe I'm not built to make them despite my passion, and I might just be clinging to old dreams that are now just building up frustration, depression and anxiety. And if you notice you were wrong, how do you even rebuild yourself midlife? It's already so late, and I've never really done anything that would show who I am, how I spent my life? Sorry if this all sounds vague (also very tired and my english seems totally broken today), but I'm genuinely lost. I'm just wondering if, maybe I'm pushing for the wrong things, cause there's always been resistance at some point, despite also feeling in the zone for some periods of time practicing what I like (but again, am not sure now if I still like doing it or if it should even be a life purpose, or if I'm just building up frustration beliving it is). Also, some people don't have to strive, right? They can just be hedonistic or whatever and that's fine? How do I even know if that's the right path for me? Sometimes I wish it was, but at the same time I feel so guilty everytime I try to let go. It's fun for some time but then..."I should do something with my life. Time ticking terrifies me. I didn't accomplish anything, not in work, not building anything out of my passions, not standing out, not by having kids and teaching them what I believe could make them a more successful person than I am" Edit : I'm stupid, didn't noticed there was literally a "Life purpose" sub-forum, sorry. If any mod can move it here, I guess.

I'm going to be quite bold and trollish here, but I'm depressed and in the middle of a crisis. There might still be truth to this, who knows. But basically, I feel like we, overthinkers, contemplative bunch, are missing the point. After all, life means nothing besides what we do with it. So why think about it if there is no point? There cannot be some kind of truth. That's just looking for an explanation to chaos. There is none. I've wasted my life thinking and it only made me sad. I understand the world well in a way, I also do feel like I get most general truths, but they are not leading me anywhere besides being exhausted thinking about a point in life that I can't seem to find. This balance game is exhausting. I wish I was simple and stupid. But I cannot be because I know too much, and I cannot stay in one quiet place for very long. And life is ticking by but since there is no real point in it, if I go back to being an explorer, I'm just chasing clouds and I can feel it. This is a lose-lose situation that's incredibly frustrating.

See, they told you it was a satanic cult!

Thank you, God

Makes sense. I think I understand things but that's only from a distance. I'm air, water, but no ground at all. I always forget that I don't actually try to use the results of my thinking and contemplation with action. My life is incredibly stale and lacking actual achievements besides basic needs Not everybody does need to build our of the norm achievements tho, I believe. But since I'm clearly not somebody that can keep still and stable in a daily routine, then I probably have no other choices but to try and get fulfilment through actions besides survival work/couple/play/sleep. (either that or learning to quiet the mind and accept enjoying a simple life. Which seems hard with adhd) Anyway thanks for reminding of finding a way to balance and use thinking with action. Funny how obvious this is but how easily I could forget it.

Just make a strawpoll or something to gather data in one place. (I'm 43)

If not, what separates the ones that would actually benefit from that, and the ones who don't? (Obviously, I'm in the process of understanding that for myself but it could be an interesting subject, maybe)

Am contemplating adopting a set of belief (maybe not forever) so I can find a more contained way of thinking (not the main goal of it, but maybe it could help as an exercise agains my ADHD tendencies to jump from one thing to another and never truly commit) Many questions come to me. A few of those are (bad english an confused thoughts, please bear with me) : 1) Do you think that the fact that a religion is older than another has an impact on its legitimacy? (if you consider that they're not fictional tools, but that they actually tell a truth about real entities) 2) In the same idea, I tend to be drawn/fascinated by older religions such as sumerian (which, by the way, isn't it weird that it didn't survive since it's one of the older ones? What actually makes a religion stay more than another one on the collective level?), but I also shake my head trying to get aways from the shiny spell of "ancient magic old things", cause I feel like this might not be the truth, and maybe we tend to see it as such because we've been taught that older things are kind of more respectable in a way? I mean, we wouldn't study way older scientific texts, so why do it with religion? Couldn't a religion born yesterday be just as valid? But then what does it mean, that religions are not tales of powerful forces we are linked to, but rather storytelling to draw values from? 3) Are religions just stories to control people from fear, and if so, does that mean than the "religion" should be avoided and be replaced by science? (which obviously, could be totally wrong as it has been in the past, but I mean, science as we know it anyways. If religion is just a control tool without any basis, our guidelines might as well just be more down to earth sciences) 4) How do I even chose a religion to dive into? There are many big ones, but the number of believers doesn't mean they're the right ones (just look at what huge number of people believe and do everyday). 5) What is religion to you?