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@Matthew Lamot your answer is very vague again. How does it help knowing I'm an illusion? Because I do understand it on some level (that everything is one, like the cinema screen) but knowing this doesn't take the addictive thoughts away..

@Matthew Lamot thanks

I don't understand any of this that you wrote. It makes no sense to me. Zero. Do you recommend a book/video? Or can you explain a little more in detail maybe?

@Matthew Lamot sure I am. Actually it sounds like the 'dropping the ego' theory where you just "are" and that's it..right?

Have you found it @Matthew Lamot?

@Eelco1981 wow. I'm walking in your shoes now ..

@Eelco1981 yes I have a lot of trouble being happy in the present. I'm always waiting for the next event to be happy. And when it comes, there's another in the horizon..It never ends Eg. I finished my degree okay now I can be happy right? But no because I need to find a job now, I'll be happy when I find one Also it's this thought that I've wasted so much time on stupid things and I could never get it back..so many missed opportunities

Is self worth inherent?

@soniadoll_ toss it away my dear, toss it and now you can welcome a new life with ligther wings. Ironically that's how I feel ever time I come out of a haircut! New hair, new beginning; Imagine how many people you could give this feeling to I wish you all the best

You have an awareness of your fear, thats +10 golden points for you already. But the emotional baggage you carry ( the past abusive relationship) is putting you in a limited space, whereas the contrary (dropping the luggage on the side of the road, it's too heavy and cumbersome anyway) would be more freedom. As you may know already reality comes in every shade of colour, maybe you can allow yourself to see other colours of men? We are all unique, it is not necessary to make generalisations..and I need to remind myself of this also

I found something on human nature that's also worth to look at: It's a clip from the documentary zeitgeist

@abrakamowse thanks for clearing it up

Yes I saw this...but I don't quite understand this sentence..does the author provide an example to illustrate his point ? And yea I have a bad tendency to zoom on the negative, I've been doing this all my life and im slightly depressed as well so it doesn't help Very cool. I like this.

That's very interesting. This is depressing though .so psychology shows us that peace will never really be attainable..There will always be victims in this world as long as there are wolves

...And make a big sandcastle or something

@Salaam I love your story. I appreciate your honesty. Your story touched me, it makes a lot of sense. I too, need to learn to be vulnerable in the healthy way. I am very cautious around people. I wasn't like this as a child but growing up I build a protection too and it is hard to take it off. Also I am not sure if I should take it off. Or around whom. I guess intuition can tell? I don't know. .I wish it were different, that no one would poke your flesh when you take the armor off but that's not how life works. Still learning as well.. Thank you for this story Salaam, I will read it again when I'm down in the mud

Wow, cool. I like you reply @Salaam, it does help indeed. How do you do that exactly?

@Piotr thanks !

Nice, I ll watch this, thank you Mr mouwse !

Not really..I am very confused. . It's fine, I like to see your perspective and I appreciate your help And thanks for this! I'll look into it after the 20 000 words of blabla I have to write.

No the basic structure is not the same for everyone. Psychopaths have smaller amygdala (where emotions are processed). Maybe. No. He doesn't have the right brain structure to process a feeling like love. It is like asking a chair to feel love. Because I am wondering about the advice I am given 'listen to you and your own morality'. Can I give the same advice to a killer? Is their morality as valid as mine? That's what I am wondering. .

Yes I could feel this in your other reply as well and I'm sorry, it was not my intention. It is not an easy subject, I just want to understand. Thanks for this, I will think about it

Because I want to understand why some people follow morals like ted bundy's. I wonder if I am in a different environment surrounded by someone like him would I develop the same morals as him and think they are right or would I stand straight next to mine (ie. Respect) no matter what. I doubt myself and my morals you see. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore. I wish I could believe with 100% that respect and empathy is the right way to go but after Leo's video on morality I don't know ..so I don't have a clear sign on my road. I am turning around looking at many different signs like they are all potentially correct.

@ProblemSolving yes you're on point about this I suppose. But why should I follow my morality? If I was born with a different brain I would have different morals . What if I was born with ted bundy's brain and you said the same thing to me, should I still follow my morals ? Ie. Kill, torture

'Someone' you mean me?