What kind of work can I do without a university?
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It has been a while since I've wrote all these....
I haven't think of the course I wanna take. Would it be too much if I change my direction completely and take/add a new thing? I just want to be filled up. My mind needs to be keep active. I think that's the reason before
but, aren't I'm too old for it? Shouldn't I be working already? But I've never work in my life it would be my first attempt/working experience.
Would I be ready /able to completely let go of my previous field? And add something new into my mind?
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457 I don't feel it as much as, say, last month. When I'm fresh out of h. Probably when someone mentioned it. And I feel so empty that (I feel like)my mind needs to be filled.
I never want it or think about it last year or the years before. Never.
12:09 041023 Now I am just afraid to start a new one or a new x because it will just be taken away from me. I've lost my paintings and drawings and diaries and many more. Now I'm afraid of making a new one and the qualities wouldn't be as when I was , say, eighteen....
431 041023
I think the biggest pro would be to filled up my mind
Things that I think about, - I would spent less time with my family while they're getting older. - would I be as good as when I was younger, or will it be harder (for me to learn now that I'm older? I wonder if it would still be the same. Would it still be worth it?(instead of just start working) which I didn't know too.
A month or so ago it's totally like this ;
You won't be doing anything either way regardless. *Edit: there need to be something to be done.
-pros - creating a healthy boundaries between you and your fam (back then.) Now I'm already getting used to it.
You can only work after having a degree
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This is what I've wrote on a paper and it is basically the same thing ;
I've been having this thought and it leaves me anxious not doing or having any of those. My minds are empty. I probably haven't think of a course I'm taking or the things I'm pursuing if I were to go to a university. It is simply to filled up my mind. I don't know if I'm ready to change (course)/direction.
and it is basically the same thing.
2. Aren't you're too old for that? (A university).
I'm not a fresh high school graduate. I've had a long past..
3. I want a fulfilling life where my mind is constantly working on complex stuff (&ideas). That's all I want.
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If I were to remember back, it is to stay away from my family/create a healthy gap between me and my family (like how it usually are.).
And I'm thinking of the future... I would still be increasing in age regardless. But without a degree. I wonder if it's even good to take a degree now or I could just start working. Is that possible?
*This, would be the best time if I ever wanna pursue a degree; that is, nvm.
3. I can't live without thinking.
2:30AM April 11th , Even if I wanna work I didn't know how. I've never work and didn't know where and how to get started apart from having a degree first. That's all I know.
Even if I wanted to , I didn't know how to look for one. I will delete this soon ..
5:23AM 13th April 2023 -
Today : 2:06am 041623
I don't know anymore.
I've already know what I'll do after university. I will just follow the path.