Sabth

I'm not anywhere near of feeling sleepy but my mom no longer wanna go out. It's only 7:56PM. And I'm fresh as ever.

I wish there is someone to bring me jog or skate every day every morning?. I wanna woke up and go out jogging or something. Wearing my shoes or skates. Or I wanna go to the gym. It's nearby. Just like McDonald. But there's no one to bring me there. It's only $13/month.

I could have made $600 in these five days but I'm not working. (On my arts)...

.

I wanna stay with my mom and dad so I wouldn't have to worry about rent and such as long as I'm not married. So idk if I wanna relocate. I'd rather have work while not relocating so that I could save much/everything. I do wanna get back to university but I had to consider the scholarship and everything. I don't think my parents are ready to send me to one at this age. And now.

It would be good for me to start off my career.

This is not for rent or for basic needs These are just something that I want that would make my life a little better. To upgrade my life. So idk. I want to work.

If I were to make a loan I would need to hv an income of $745 first. Per month. I don't know how I would be able to focus on my work, and this at the same time I can't even make a loan yet. Because I need to have a salary of $740 to be eligible for loan.

Do you think I can make money if I buy a camera and tools for making a video, then travel to some country and document my travels and either sell it or upload it on YouTube. All the while I'm taking a loan to buy these stuff and to travel. Do you think I can make money by this approach to pay back the loan that I've taken? I think this is gonna be a way. The only things that's stopping me now is that I don't have a camera and I couldn't travel. If I could take a loan to buy a camera and to travel, do I think I could pay back the money? In other words, do you think I can make money by making videos? I don't know yet what would be the ideal for selling my videos it can be in a few ways. Do you think I can make it? Does this work? Make a loan Buy a camera Buy a drone Repair my computer/buy a new laptop. Buy editing software Go and travel Make a travel video /documentary series. (I used to watch a luxury travel channel and that could be the genre that I'm into.) Then upload it on YouTube/ Or I could even make a travelog DVD or video to be sold. It will be multimedia series. I could make a photobook too. Or a book/magazine documenting my travels. Can I make money by doing these? Assuming that I did, Pay back the loan. What do you think? I don't wanna be stuck in inaction. Do you think it will work? Can I make a lot of money? And I will include the car in my loan. So it will be much. $18000? Idk. What do you think? Can I pay back the loan by doing these?

I am so bored now.

I haven't completed my university yet. So what university would be good/look good on a portfolio? If I were to take one I haven't done any so I would rather choose a good one. I'm glad that I didn't graduate from my previous university.

2017

What's that? ~~

I currently don't have anything to put on the education section because it's university. What university would look good on portfolio?

Honestly I don't even see my life past next year. I could imagine myself if I work this year until next year for one year and could have made $23k ,by the time I was 28 it would be too late already to do the things I wanna do. I don't see myself in 10/20 years at all. At most next year. I really don't know.

This is my linkedin : https://www.linkedin.com/me?trk=p_mwlite_feed_updates-secondary_nav Basically it has zero information.. but wouldn't it be too no privacy if I shared everything? Anyone could type up my name and see my education. I don't think I have what it takes to work most jobs...

I needed someone to bring me to these place and show me how it works

I dreamed that my fam went into a small borrowed car. Idk why I got bad dreams consecutively last night. Maybe it was the guest that are comin.

Huh? Idk why I got all these dreams. Things that I do differently, ; a new shampoo, a guest coming over and sleep at our house. I also eat my mom's cook. Yesterday. And I changed my bed setting.

I sleep again and wake up to another nightmare. 4:50AM I am running away in a building. Locking every floor to the outside, there is my father outside. And it was night. In a darkly building. Then I go up, while locking every floor that I went to. At the second uppermost building, there is my brother and my mom. I wish I wouldn't see them. It is actually a university building. I wish I can pass through without my bro looking at me. But then he saw me. And I went to a place/room which my mom happen to went to. We're together..in the end. She closed the room door. There was several other people. It seems like a postgraduate students room. Quite messy. And we make a dish like a cracker together. It seems disgusting because there's 3 hands making it. Just tossing something in it with bare hands. Then I woke up.

What do you think, would make me win? Against my family and against everyone. who wants me trapped?

Fuh. Night dream~

I wanna run away from home and achieve financial independence. But in that dream , it was worse. I want "freedom". I saw everyone was laughing at me (my father). Or my mom. Unabling me to go. I was just scared for my life. Trying to convince the card person. That I was fighting for my life. The dream ended up with me trying to (fake a) laugh as hard as my mom was before. Then she got angry. Which initially was her laughing now she's laughing . As I was doing it harder. In a fake way. But I won. Pretending to laugh. I don't know what was before that. It was so sad. I was in a place. Trapped. With another few guys. Idk exactly what happened. I can't seem to remember. But it was distressing. And I was running away for my life.

2:06AM I dreamed that I was running away from my fam. It was so sad. And at the end I was caught. I was even crossing the sea. Which has many people in it, including my first sister & her husband, which are looking for me. I was almost got caught. Then I went to my bank. My university bank? To retrieve my card, which there, everyone was there. It was so sad. Before that I was somewhere. Idk why I got this dream. I was just trapped.

I can literally walk up to a McDonald which is only 1.4km from my home early morning and ask for work (it's open 24hours) But I prefer to stay at home doing nothing. I can literally start creating arts I have bought many art things months ago but never started. I just love doing nothing. It's not something that I wanna do.